Chapter 26: Tuxedo Trashtalker

[Scene: biology class. Zoi and Kunzite take their seats, but instead of scooting his chair away, Kunzite is sitting so close to Zoi their arms are touching. Neffy takes note of this and chuckles under his breath.]

Mr. Tomoe: For the rest of the week we'll be watching a video. Can someone get the lights please?

[The lights go off and the room is plunged into pitch darkness, except for a small area illuminated by the video screen. Some of the students use the cover of darkness to catch up on their sleep.]

[Zoi can't sleep, of course, since he's hyper aware of Kunzite's skin brushing against his. It's filling the air with electricity, which only intensifies as Kunzite presses closer to him. Zoi crosses his arms over his chest to resist the urge to reach out and touch Kunzite's thigh.]

[The opening credits appear in white. Zoi uses the scant amount of light to stare at Kunzite's face, and he sees Kunzite is already staring right at him. Zoi looks away quickly and Kunzite smiles fondly. Zoi bites his finger since he's afraid the other kids in the class can hear his rapid breathing. The impulse to touch Kunzite is maddening. Then he fights a gasp as he feels Kunzite's hand on his knee.]

[He can't see anything, but he still has the sense that Kunzite is still smiling at him.]

[A few minutes into the video, Kunzite removes his hand from Zoi's knee, and wraps his arms around Zoi's waist and pulls him closer, tucking Zoi against the hollow at the side of his body.

[Zoi nestles there with his eyes closed and his hand on Kunzite's chest, while Kunzite strokes his hair. If Zoi was paying any attention to the video up until this point, it doesn't matter since he has forgotten there even is a video, and he has no idea what it is about.]

[Zoi spends most of the video tucked up against Kunzite. Kunzite releases him five minutes before the end of the class to give Zoi a chance to regain his composure before the lights come back on. When they do, Neffy is staring right at Zoi and Kunzite.]

Neffy: Well, that was interesting. In a sickening sort of way.

Mr. Tomoe: Neffy, perhaps you'd like to enlighten the rest of the class as to what you found so objectionable about the presentation?

Neffy: [scoffs] You don't even want to know.

[The class files out but Zoi remains in his seat.]

Kunzite: [stands and holds out his hand to Zoi] Shall we?

Zoi: Huh?

Kunzite: Class is over.

Zoi: Huh?

Kunzite: It's time for you to go to gym class.

Zoi: [dazed] Oh. Right. Gym class.

[Zoi rises from his chair and walks out of the room like a sleepwalker, with Kunzite at his side. Kunzite escorts him all the way to the gym]

[Kunzite stands outside the entrance with him, holding his hand, and then brushes the length of Zoi's cheekbone with his fingertips before walking away.]

[Zoi walks into the locker room, all lightheaded and wobbly.]

[A short time later… the boys in Zoi's gym class are sitting in the bleachers.]

Boys' Coach: We're going to do something a little different today. We're going to have a little tournament. Two on two. Basketball. The winners each get these tiny plastic trophies and a twenty dollar gift card for food and drinks at the Crown Center Café.

Mamoru: [To Zoi] I need to win that. I'm taking Usagi out to the Crown after the dance, and that girl knows how to put away food.

Zoi: Huh?

Mamoru: [Looks at Zoi's blank expression] Are you ok?

Umino: I think his brain is busted.

Boys' coach: Just to keep things interesting, let's start with the weakest link and work our way up. Zoi Midori. Get over here.

[Zoi rises like a zombie and the coach hands him a ball. Zoi looks at it like he's never seen one before.]

Boys' coach: Zoi, pick a teammate.

[Almost all of the other boys scoot back, but Zoi doesn't seem to notice. He just stands there staring down at the ball in a daze. Mamoru rises.]

Umino: [whispers] I thought you said you needed to win?

Mamoru: [whispers back] Who said anything about not winning?

[Mamoru walks over and stands next to Zoi. Comprehension slowly dawns on Zoi.]

Zoi: You don't have to do this, you know.

Mamoru: Don't worry. I'll keep out of your way.

[The whistle blows and the first match starts. The other team is no challenge for Mamoru, but since Zoi has no athletic ability, all he manages to do is trip and bang the top of his head into the pole for the hoop the first time Mamoru passes the ball to him.]

Zoi: [lying on the floor] Ow.

Mamoru: [puts his hands on his knees and looks down at him] Are you ok?

Zoi: Sure. [At least the pain has focused his thoughts again.]

[Mamoru stretches out his hand to help Zoi up and then walks him to the edge of the court.]

Mamoru: Why don't you stand here and let me take care of this?

[Zoi watches with admiration as Mamoru blazes down the court, singlehandedly taking down team after team. At first it's easy, but the more athletic boys know he'll be fatigued by the time their turn comes. However, Mamoru is still going strong up until the end, sinking shots from both close and far and banking the ball against the walls when blocked to compensate for his lack of help from Zoi. Never the less, when they are declared the winning team, he comes over and gives Zoi a high five.]

[As they stay behind to collect their prizes, Zoi has a newfound admiration for Mamoru. Zoi hands his gift certificate over to Mamoru, since after all, he did nothing to earn it. Mamoru makes a halfhearted attempt to hand it back, but ends up keeping it.]

[They walk over to the locker room and change back into their street clothes.]

Mamoru: So. You and Kunzite, huh?

[Zoi's mood sours at the bitterness in Mamoru's voice.]

Mamoru: I don't like it.

Zoi: [tartly] You don't have to like it.

Mamoru: Yes, well as your friend I have a right to be concerned. He doesn't strike me as the type who fully grasps the idea of mutual consent.

Zoi: [giggles at the contrast between the seriousness of Mamoru's tone vs. the absurdity of what he's saying] Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Mamoru: He's probably plotting your date rape as we speak.

Zoi: [aghast] I hate to burst your bubble, but I've been in a dark alley with him, and nothing happened.

Mamoru: Yet. I don't like the way he keeps staring at you. He looks at you like…like you're something good to eat.

[Zoi bursts into a fit of giggles]

Mamrou: Oh, you think that's funny, do you? You won't think it's funny when he has you tied up in his basement.

[Zoi laughs harder]

Mamoru: Seriously, as soon as you go home, you should go on the internet and see if he's registered as a sex offender somewhere.

Zoi: [Wipes tears of mirth from his eyes] Ok, seriously. Enough about me. How are things going with you and Usagi?

Mamoru: Don't change the subject! I'm trying to hold an intervention here!

[Zoi doubles over with laughter]

Zoi: Please, I can't finish getting dressed unless you stop making me laugh like this.

Mamoru: Fine, it's your life, but when you're in the crisis center don't say I didn't warn you.

Zoi: [Finishes dressing and closes his locker] I'll see you tomorrow.

Mamoru: [pessimistic] I certainly hope so.

[Zoi bursts into laughter again and waves goodbye to Mamoru as he leaves the gym. Then laughs harder when he sees Kunzite in the parking lot. His laughter stops when he sees Kunzite looking at Mamoru like he wants to murder him.]

[Kunzite and Mamoru stare each other down before Mamoru walks away.]

Zoi: Hi.

Kunzite: [still looking at Mamoru] Hello. How was gym class?

Zoi: Fine.

Kunzite: Really? [Zoi follows Kunzite's gaze and sees Mamoru is still watching them from a distance. Mamoru turns and walks away. Kunzite continues to stare with a look of pure hate.]

Zoi: What?

Kunzite: Chiba is really getting on my nerves.

[Zoi thinks it's an odd coincidence that Kunzite is so upset with Mamoru after all the things Mamoru just said.]

[Then it occurs to him it might not be a coincidence at all.]

Zoi: You were spying on me, weren't you?

Kunzite: [smiles at him] How is your head?

Zoi: [gasps] You're unbelievable!

[Zoi shakes his head in disgust and walks off in a huff] .