As far as Kyôka was concerned, going against Mard Geer was generally a bad idea. This time, however, she felt more than a little justified.
"Babysitting?" she exploded. "Babysitting?" Mard Geer sighed.
"Mard Geer is also displeased, Kyôka," he said coolly. "However, Hades has made it quite clear that Grimoire Heart will not be able to complete the task we've assigned them if there are children about."
"How many children, exactly?" Ezel asked, looking hopeful.
"Ten preteens, two teenagers, and a snake," Seilah told him, not looking up from her book. "You can't eat any of them." Ezel folded all four of his arms and grumbled something under his breath. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't pleasant, so nobody asked him what he'd said.
Arriving at Tartaros was slightly nerve-wracking for the young mages of Grimoire Heart - if only because they were greeted by a skeleton, a yellow blob-like creature, and a diminutive woman with bunny ears sprouting from her skull who immediately started squealing over them.
"Welcome to Tartaros," Mard Geer said as Keyes led the children into his throne room. "In order to keep things simple, Mard Geer has decided to place each of you under the care of a different member. Except Ezel. And Keyes."
"What?" Ezel complained. "Boo."
"What did I do?" Keyes wondered.
"Erza Scarlet and Sorano Agria." Kyôka stalked forward. "You'll two are with me." The girls glanced at each other, and Sorano shrugged.
"Whatever," she decided.
"I'm taking Macbeth and Shô," Seilah said.
"I've got Erik and Cube-leo-s," Tempester stated.
"Cubellios," Erik corrected.
"Richard and Wally get to come with me!" Franmalth piped up. "How much are they worth?"
"You can't sell them, shit-for-brains," Jackal grumbled. "I've got Millianna."
"Kitty!" Millianna squealed, throwing her arms around him.
"Get this thing off me!" Jackal yelped, flailing about wildly.
"You're with me, cutie~" Lamy sang, attaching herself to Simon's arm.
"...I'm thirteen," Simon told her nervously. She giggled.
"I don't mind," she told him, batting her eyelashes.
"I DO!" Simon wailed.
"Ultear Milkovich, you are with Silver." Mard Geer said, smirking.
"What?" Silver yelped. "Why am I stuck with her?"
"What'd I do to you?" Ultear demanded, frowning.
"Nothing," Silver told her. "I just really hate your mother." Ultear's look of distaste changed to approval.
"Looks like we've got something in common after all," she said. Sawyer coughed out something that sounded like "mommy issues" and Ultear punched him in the solar plexus.
"I've got Sawyer," Torafuzar said. Jellal turned to Mard Geer.
"So..." he began.
"Yes," Mard Geer confirmed. "Jellal Fernandes is with Mard Geer." Macbeth, who was asleep on Jellal's back, opened one eye and hissed like a cat.
"Go with Seilah-san," Jellal told him. Grumbling, the duel-haired boy slid onto the floor and trudged over to the horned woman. He yawned.
"I'll read you a story," Seilah offered. Macbeth's eyes lit up.
"I like stories!" Shô exclaimed.
"So, why do you look like a shark?" Sawyer asked. Torafuzar shrugged.
"Because reasons." He replied. Sawyer thought about it for a minute.
"Yeah, okay."
"Stop questioning my authority!" Kyôka snarled.
"Stop telling me what to do!" Erza yelled back.
"I wish I'd brought popcorn," Sorano said, swinging her legs as she watched the other two fight.
"...And that's why I hate my mother," Ultear finished. Silver had tears streaming down his face.
"You poor thing!" He wailed, embracing her. "How could anyone abandon their own child like that?" Ultear blinked, confused.
"...Weren't you just telling me that you possessed this body solely to give a child abandonment issues?" she asked.
"What happens next?" Shô asked, eyes shining. Macbeth was fast asleep.
"Next?" Seilah asked. "Nothing happens next. All the humans are dead and the demons win." Shô frowned.
"But... the good guys are supposed to win," he protested.
"And that's why human stories are stupid," Seilah explained. "A human can't beat a demon."
"...I think I liked Grandpa Rob's stories better," Shô mumbled.
"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" Erik wondered. Cubellios was snoozing around his shoulders. Tempester glanced down at him.
"Seilah-san reads, Mard Geer-sama plots, Jackal-san blows things up, Lamy dissects things, Torafuzar-san has staring contests with the walls, Ezel-san goes out and eats children, Silver-san freezes people's feet to the floor, Keyes-san likes summoning the dead and making them do silly things, Franmalth counts money, and Kyôka..." Tempester hesitated.
"Yeah?" Erik pressed him. "What's she do when she's bored?"
"...Seilah." (It wouldn't be for a few more years that Erik finally got the joke).
"Okay, kid, will you stop rubbing my ears?"
"KITTY!"
"I'M NOT A GODDAMN KITTY! SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF ME!"
"How much is it worth?" Franmalth squealed happily, placing another gold coin on the stack in front of him.
"Oh yeah!" Richard agreed, amazed by the enormous amount of money in front of him.
"Dandy!" said Wally, who honestly had no idea what the hell was going on.
"You have such nice muscles~" Lamy cooed, clutching the petrified boy's arm.
"I need an adult," Simon whimpered. Lamy grinned.
"I am an adult~" she told him. Simon blinked at her.
"Pull the other one." he said in disbelief. She detached herself and frowned.
"Excuse you?" It suddenly occurred to Simon that pissing off demons was probably not a good idea. On the other hand...
"Please don't be offended, but I'm going to run as far away from you as I possibly can." He declared. He then proceeded to do so.
"I'm hungry," Ezel complained.
"I don't ca–" Keyes began, but Silver suddenly burst through the door, Ultear on his heels.
"NICE TO MEET YOU, HUNGRY!" He bellowed. "I'M SILVER!" He and Ultear both cackled madly before fleeing from the room, leaving behind two very confused demons.
"...What." Keyes said.
"Do you know why Mard Geer chose you?" Mard Geer quietly asked the twelve-year-old. Jellal shook his head.
"No, sir, I don't," he replied truthfully. Mard Geer turned, and strode to the other side of the room. He faced Jellal once more and held up the book he'd been carrying around in his arms.
"Do you know what this is?" he asked. Again, Jellal shook his head. Mard Geer smiled. The irony of it all was almost funny. This boy... it cannot be that both Hades and Brain have failed to notice his potential. Still, how foolish of them to think Mard Geer wouldn't notice. He cast one last look at the blue-haired boy, and his eyes gained a malicious glint. Perhaps today was not such a waste of time after all. Jellal Fernandes... Mard Geer wonders if you've figured it out yet. "This is a very important book," Mard Geer told him. "Come here." After a moment's hesitation, Jellal obeyed.
"What now, sir?" he asked, looking nervous. Mard Geer took the young boy's right hand and placed it on top of the book.
"Can you feel that?" he murmured quietly. "That power... you feel it, don't you?"
"Yeah..." Jellal whispered back. The expression on his face was one of awe. "Sir, what exactly is that?" Mard Geer pulled the book away and tucked it back under his arm.
"It is something very precious to this guild," he explained. And, as he watched the rune on Jellal's palm disappear unnoticed into his skin, the demon hid a cruel smirk. And now, little human, it is something very precious to you as well...