Prompt: okay but in gmh u cant convince me that millia macbeth and sho didnt flood the house with cats and named at least one of them something childish and immature like sir buttsalot or smthing (from anonymous)
"If that thing bites me one more goddamn time, I'm going to eat it!" Erik roars, clutching his bleeding finger. The cat (who had been dubbed 'Lord Farto' by Shō) looked very smug.
"Can't you hear them coming?" Sawyer asks, smirking. A combination of speed and common sense - a rarity in their guild - had seen to his lack of cat-related injuries.
"Yeah, but there's a gajillion of these things running around," Erik complains. "I can't tell which one's which."
"Think of it as an opportunity to train your hearing," Jellal suggests. It's hard to take him seriously when Deathray the Destroyer (they'd need to have a talk with Macbeth about appropriate cat names) was curled up on his head. He was doing his best to hold still so she wouldn't fall off, but that was probably more to protect himself from her claws should she decide she wanted to secure her position.
"Whereas you can train your ability to act like our mother even when you look completely ridiculous," Simon teases. Jellal gives him a mock hurt look.
"I've talked to Master Hades," Sorano sniffs, gingerly stepping around Sir Butts-a-Lot (Millianna, it seemed, was just as immature as Shō). She had been very clear how she felt about getting cat hair on her dresses, and the guild had done their best to keep them away from her, lest she uphold her promise to shriek like a banshee until all their eardrums burst. "We'll be getting rid of the cats tomorrow. Erza, Richard, Wally, Ultear, and Jellal will be taking them to shelters." Jellal blinked.
"I will?" he asked, surprised.
"Well, I'm certainly not doing it," Sorano tells him, frowning. "And I doubt anyone else is particularly interested in detaching that thing from your head."
"Her name is Deathray the Destroyer," Macbeth complains.
"Aren't you still in time out?" Simon asks, raising an eyebrow.
"No," Macbeth says.
"Yes," Erza says, walking in and grabbing his arm. "And if Ultear finds out that you tried to escape, she'll double your punishment." Macbeth sulks, but allows Erza to lead him out of the room.
"It's a miracle I haven't killed him yet," Sorano mutters, scowling.
"It's a miracle Cubellios hasn't gone after the cats yet," Jellal notes. Erik shrugs.
"I hate 'em, but Millianna would cry if I let 'em get eaten. And she's annoying when she cries," he adds, before Sawyer can make whatever sarcastic comment was on the tip of his tongue.
"Well, either way, they'll be gone soon," Jellal tells Sorano reassuringly. "I'll help, so don't worry about it."
"Good," she snaps, turning and stalking off. The boys wisely refrain from telling her that a tiny white kitten is clinging to the back of her dress.