Shay had come back, as promised, with a pair of sweats and one of Matt's t-shirts from their apartment. After she changed out of her uniform, Shay sat with her and let her talk and vent about anything and everything from her hopes and dreams of her life with Matt to the fear that was engulfing her - the fear of losing him. She tried to explain how he looked to her friend, tried to make her understand. There was no doubt in her mind that Shay understood, but she felt like actually seeing Matt had made her more aware of the situation.
When nightfall came, her friend tried to convince her to sleep. The long and taxing day had worn her out, but she was afraid that he'd be gone when she woke up. She felt like if she slept, she wouldn't know what happened to him and she'd regress back into the person she was in Iraq. She knew that if she lost him, she'd pick up more shifts. She'd wear herself out, work herself almost to death again. She'd take unnecessary risks, putting those around her in danger again. If she slept, she was afraid he'd die. So, Shay had gotten some blankets from the nurses' station to make them comfortable and sat awake with her all night until Boden showed up the next day.
"I'm going to grab us some breakfast," her friend said, standing and stretching after being cramped up in the same position all night. She saw Shay and Boden share a look of concern before the woman walked away, leaving her and her boss. They both stayed silent for a few moments longer before he finally spoke.
"I know you're worried," he told her. "We all are. Just remember, we're all here for you and Matt right now. But remember, you have to take care of you." She nodded, knowing Boden was right. Her eyelids felt heavy, half closed at this point. She knew no news was good news, and with Boden next to her, she fell asleep for the first time - knowing he'd wake her up if there was any change. Which there wasn't.
By the time she woke up again, it was Kelly sitting with her. The sky had gone dark, the lights of the city visible through the window at the end of the hallway. She stretched out her arms, then her legs. The first thing she wanted was to see Matt again, and since the twenty-four hours had passed, she hoped to get to hold his hand.
"You hear anything?" she asked Kelly. Her friend looked at her and shook his head. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept much either. She knew he was just as worried as her. She finally stood, legs shaking from sitting so long, and walked to the nurse's station.
"I was wondering if I could find out how Matthew Casey is?" she asked, leaning against the desk. The woman looked at her and then back down to the computer, typing quickly. Gabby took a few deep breaths before the woman looked back up.
"There's been no change since yesterday." She nodded, pushing herself off the desk and turning away. Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks and turned back.
"Can I see him?" she then asked, voice quiet and soft yet hopeful. The nurse looked at the computer once again - Gabby could only assume Matt's chart - and then back up to her.
"Only family, but Kendra did leave a note that a…" she read the name, "Gabriella Dawson can view through the window. I assume that's you." When Gabby nodded in agreement, the nurse stood and escorted her to his room.
She looked in at him, not much changing between yesterday and now. His IV bag was full and so was the bolus bag, but nothing else had changed. His eyes were still closed, a tube still coming out of his head, still in the same position. But she knew the first twenty-four hours had passed, that things should start to look up soon, and - hopefully - he'd wake up soon.
She stayed there for a few more minutes before making her way back to Kelly and the purgatory of a waiting room. He looked up at her, his eyes telling her he needed to know how his friend was.
"No change," escaped her lips like a secret, and his head dropped. She understood the feeling, the need to know that things were better or had at least started to look up. She understood his heart sinking into his stomach, the defeated feeling when he found out that it hadn't. She understood better than anybody else the pain of waiting, the pain of not knowing.
What seemed like an eternity later, she finally found it in her soul to go home, to take a shower, eat, and sleep in her… in their bed. She knew her forty-eight off was half done, and that she couldn't miss work just because Matt was hurt. She knew that she needed to get back into a routine, but the fear that she'd lose him was still there.
Shay had given her a ride home from the hospital, the ride silent. Before she left, Kendra had made a promise to call her if there was any change in Matt's condition, a promise that Gabby hoped she would keep. Their apartment was eerily silent. She knew that the Hawks game should be playing on the TV, that Kelly and Matt should be drinking beers while rooting for their team.
"I can stay over," Shay offered when Gabby hesitated at the doorway. She shook her head, knowing Shay being there wouldn't change things. Despite this knowledge, she wished it would change things. She wished there was a way to go back, to convince Matt they should stay home from work that day, to call in sick. He wouldn't have gone for it, never had before, but she'd try her hardest to convince him.
The what-ifs plagued her mind the entire night as she tossed and turned in bed, sleep not coming easily. The need for Matt to be there was strong as her mind raced, and she didn't know what to do. For once, she admitted weakness and turned to the one person who'd be there no matter what.
"Can you come over?" she asked the person on the other end of the call.
"I'll be there in ten," her brother answered, hanging up after his agreement. The hopeful feeling she finally felt made her think things would be okay finally. Her brother always made things a little more bearable, had always been her rock in the sea of life.