Itachi woke the morning of the council meeting with a nervous lump in his stomach. Before, when he had still been a missing-nin, fighting Danzo wouldn't have been a big deal. He could have taken him down, and if not he could have fled. Danzo was no spring chicken, though Itachi knew that he was likely more powerful than most people gave him credit for.
But he wasn't a missing-nin anymore and this time he would have other people fighting alongside him – not as temporary partners, but as comrades. He would have Sasuke. He would have his former ANBU teammates – people he had once considered friends.
And he had a couple of new friends, too. The thought terrified him. He had already lost everyone once. The thought of losing anyone else today…
But he couldn't think like that now. Not today. This was all for Konoha's sake, for his brother's sake. If the threat Danzo posed was not eliminated, he would never trust in the safety of the village.
Sasuke was nowhere to be found – at least not in the Uchiha compound. Itachi was grateful for that because he didn't want his brother to see him so anxious. For years he had kept on a carefully constructed mask, a persona that hid his true self from the rest of Konoha. But now that the mask had slipped, he found it increasingly difficult to hide his feelings.
Their rendezvous point was the Uchiha compound so he could only sit around and wait. He spent a few hours cleaning the house, and a little bit of time outside training, but his nerves were getting the better of him and he found himself too distracted to do very much.
He had resigned himself to lazing around, too unfocused to spend time being productive, when he heard a knock at the door. The council meeting didn't start for another hour at least, so he wasn't sure who it could be.
He wasn't surprised to find Sakura at the door, her pink hair tied up messily on top of her head. She looked horrible. Her eyes were puffy and her clothes looked rumpled like she had slept in them.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
She raked her eyes over him. "I should ask you the same question," she said.
He narrowed his eyes slightly. "I apologize for not being presentable," he said, "I wasn't expecting company so soon."
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't have come by without asking. It's just that Ino is at my apartment and I can't bear to see her right now. I slept at Naruto's place last night. Sasuke was there and I felt like I was intruding so I left."
He opened his door wider so she could enter. She brushed past him as she entered. He was glad she had come by, if he was honest with himself. He was glad that she found herself with him when she didn't know where else to go. It made a strange pride swell in his chest.
"Are you nervous?" he asked.
She met his gaze and then quickly looked away. Her shyness was strange to him, but she nodded an affirmative.
"Me too," he said.
"I'm afraid that if we fail that something really bad will happen to Konoha," she said, "And I don't like hiding things from Tsunade. She's already mad enough at me for hiding the fact that I worked with you."
That was news to him.
"You didn't tell her when you got back?" he asked, "Why not?"
"I didn't want her to send anyone after you."
"I'd have been long gone by the time they got to Toyeiki."
"You weren't long gone," she retorted, "I know you stayed to hear what Kabuto wanted with me."
He cocked his head to the side. He had had his chakra masked carefully. He was good at hiding himself. Stealth was his forte.
"How did you know?"
She crossed her arms and huffed. "People always underestimate me. I'm not an idiot. I know I'm not the best member on Team 7. In fact I know I'm the worst member of Team 7. But that doesn't mean I'm stupid."
"Sakura," he said, his voice sounding much harsher than he had intended. "I know you aren't stupid. I asked how you knew."
"I saw you on the roof," she snapped, "When Kabuto mentioned Sasuke I saw you. I also know you followed him after he left."
He sighed. He hadn't known that she had seen him. It didn't really matter, he supposed, but he was annoyed with himself for allowing her to see him and for the fact that she knew he had lied to her.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"I wasn't upset," she said, "I mean, you told me you wanted to stay and I basically forced you to leave. If I had known the truth back then I would have wanted you to stay. I kind of wanted you to stay anyway. I just…"
"I understand," he said.
"Did you kill Kabuto?"
The question surprised him. It was a valid question, he supposed, but Itachi didn't like to kill. He figured Sakura would have known that.
"No."
They stared awkwardly at one another for a moment.
"I followed him because I thought he might have information about Sasuke," he said, breaking the silence. "I was worried he might try to contact you again, but I didn't kill him."
"Why would it worry you if he contacted me again?" she asked, "Sasuke spent a lot of time with him. He never hurt Sasuke."
"He wasn't interested in Sasuke."
Sakura looked down at her feet. She looked uncertain, like she didn't quite know what to say.
"I never doubted that you would reject his offer," Itachi continued, "But I wondered what it might have been like for you to have gone with him. He probably did have a lot to teach you."
"I thought about that, too," she admitted, and for whatever reason a blush rose in her cheeks, "I mean, I would never betray Konoha, but I wondered what he could teach me. Sasuke seemed to have learned a lot from Orochimaru. And Naruto learned how to used the kyuubi. Medical ninjutsu is all I really have and Tsunade-sama – she's a fantastic teacher, but offensive medical jutsu isn't really something she uses."
"Do you want to learn offensive medical ninjutsu?"
"Yes," she said, "If it would put me on the same level as Naruto and Sasuke."
"I'm sure you will find a way, then," he said and he meant it.
"You have a lot of faith in me," she replied
"I saw what you're capable of," he answered, "You indicated that you feel useless, less important than your teammates. But you play a crucial role to them. I'm sure you've saved their lives many times. You've saved mine at least twice."
Her blush deepened and she looked down at her feet. It was strange to him that she wouldn't be able to see her own worth. Her lack of confidence was completely unfounded – he had seen firsthand that she was capable of performing miracles. He wondered briefly if it had something to do with his brother.
"Come sit down," he said, "I'll make you some tea."
She followed him into the kitchen and took the same seat at the table that she'd sat in before. She picked at her fingernails while he prepared her a mug of tea.
"Why did you come here?" he asked.
"I don't know," she said, sounding nervous, "I can leave if you want me to."
"No, no," he said, "I don't want you to leave. I was just curious."
He set a steaming mug in front of her and took the seat next to her. She gave him a small but grateful smile and her sheer proximity made his heart jump in his chest.
"I didn't know where else to go," she said after taking a sip of her tea, "I feel calmer when I'm around you, and I'm just so anxious right now. Is that weird?"
He did think it was weird. He certainly didn't feel calmer when he was around her. If anything, he felt the opposite. Not in an unpleasant way, though, because her company was far from unpleasant.
"Even back in Toyeiki when I hated you, I just felt better when you were around. Safer. I wasn't so worried about potential enemies," she admitted.
"But you refused my help with Kabuto."
"On principal," she said dismissively.
"It is weird," he answered, "You trusted me to protect you when I gave you no indication that I would do that."
"I guess it was instinct, then. Because you did protect me – Konoha, I mean," she answered.
She took another sip of her tea and leaned in a little closer to him. His breath became a bit more shallow. He hoped that she wouldn't notice, but she turned to look at him, her eyes connecting with his far closer than they'd been before. He was captivated again by her pink lashes and how long they were and how prettily they framed her green eyes.
Without meaning to, he let his gaze drift down to her mouth. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line until she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. He wondered if her lips would taste like her tea. She inhaled sharply, parting her lips. He looked back up at her eyes and found her watching him curiously through half-lidded eyes.
"Are you going to kiss me?" she asked.
He swallowed. "What?"
"You look like you want to kiss me," she said. Her tone was teasing and flirtatious, but her eyes were serious.
He didn't know how to answer that, because he definitely did want to kiss her, but he wasn't going to. Not now. Maybe not ever. It didn't seem like a good idea.
But she was still leaning toward him, watching him with unwavering certainty like she knew that he wanted to. Like she wanted him to.
"Do you want me to kiss you?" he asked, pleasantly surprised that his voice was unstrained and perfectly casual.
"I have patients at the hospital all the time that are very vocal about their attractions toward me," she said. It sounded like she was saying no. Itachi felt his heart sink a little. Not that he would have kissed her if she said yes… Or maybe he would have. He couldn't know for sure. "Sometimes they try to steal a kiss."
She looked down into her mug, fluttering her lashes as she did so. He narrowed his eyes slightly. She seemed to be aware that he had a penchant for her lashes.
"I obviously spurn their advances," she said, "Because it's not professional. And most of the time I don't even know them."
She took a sip of her tea and then looked back up at him.
"There has only been one time I ever considered kissing a patient."
He raised an eyebrow, not trusting himself to speak.
"It was you," she said. "The day you touched my face."
He took in a deep breath and held it. He had wanted to kiss her, too, and he'd felt bolder back then than he felt now. There were a million reasons why he shouldn't kiss her. And even if there weren't, he couldn't think of a less appropriate time to kiss someone. Not before they murdered a member of the village council. Not when his brother and the rest of her teammates were due to show up at any moment.
But his hand reached up again to touch her face. He let the tips of his fingers skim her cheek. He brushed the pad of his thumb across her lips. He was enraptured when her eyes slid shut and he could hear her breath catch in her throat.
She reached up and grasped his hand, pulling it down away from her face and into her lap. She held it there, her fingers curled tightly around his. He could feel warmth emanating from her bare thigh. He stared down at their hands, wanting to let go and run his fingers across her leg to see if it felt as smooth as it looked.
"I've never kissed anyone before," she said. He looked back up at her face to find that she had turned her head away from him.
"I haven't either," he admitted. He had hoped that such an admission would have made her feel less embarrassed, but he was horrified to see tears forming in her eyes.
She didn't make a sound as she blinked them away. When one streaked its way down her cheek anyway, he used his free hand to brush it away. He wanted to ask her why she was upset, but he didn't really want to know the answer. He was confused and had no idea how to handle a girl crying – he would likely only make it worse.
"I'm so sorry, Itachi," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
His brow furrowed and he could feel her hand trembling. Her grip on his hand loosened, but she didn't let go.
"I was saving my first kiss for Sasuke," she said shakily, "That was a long time ago, but no one has ever wanted to kiss me before – I mean no one that I wanted to kiss back. It's just that, well, it's you. You're his brother."
He gripped her hand a little tighter, not quite understanding what she meant by that. He was too fixated on the part where she wanted to kiss him back.
"Do you think it would bother him?" he asked.
"What? I don't think he would care at all," she said, "He doesn't give me the time of day. I was worried about you."
"Me?" he asked, "Why would you be worried about me?"
"I don't want you to think that I'm just using you as a replacement for him," she said, "That you're just the next best thing."
He let go of her hand and pulled his away from her like he'd been burned. He hadn't considered that before. He hadn't imagined that she ever wanted to kiss him. If he was honest with himself, his infatuation with her was not something he planned on pursuing outside of their minute flirtations. He liked her – it was undeniable. But he had never imagined anything ever coming of it.
And gauging from her reaction to him, she seemed to agree. She treated him the way she treated Naruto when he behaved the same way.
Yet now she was telling him that her affections for him was similar enough to the ones she held for Sasuke that she was worried they would offend him.
"Is that true?" he asked, "Do you see my brother when you look at me?"
"I moved on from Sasuke a long time ago," she said. Her lashes were wet and clumped together. "And you are nothing like him. I thought about Sasuke a lot. I thought that meant that I loved him. But when you touched my hair, my face… When you told me you thought I was pretty on the bridge… I'd never felt like that before."
"Like what?"
"Like my heart was going to explode."
She gripped her mug in her hands like she was going to take another sip, but she simply held it in her cupped hands.
"Like my skin was on fire."
He knew exactly what she meant.
"I was afraid of how often I thought about you – especially after I learned the truth," she said. "And I was afraid that it was because of Sasuke."
"I thought about you, too," he said, "And I was jealous of Sasuke. That he could have had you if he wanted you. And I thought you wanted him."
"But I don't want Sasuke."
"You told me you did," he said, "Back in Toyeiki."
"I used to want him," she answered, "Everyone knew that."
"And now?"
"I don't want him now."
"What do you want?" he asked.
He saw her mouth quirk up into an almost smile – a smirk, but not quite. It was endearing and charming and he wanted to pick her hand back up again, or touch her face, or kiss her.
"The next time you make my heart feel like it's exploding or my skin is on fire," she began, "I want to give in to that feeling. Instead of resisting it."
"You mean you want to kiss me," he asked, feeling a smile forming on his own lips.
She swatted his leg playfully and swiveled so that she was facing the table. "Don't put words in my mouth."
He breathed a sigh of relief because it seemed that the awkwardness and the tenseness of the moment had passed and they could go back to being normal. And he was elated by the thought that she would let him kiss her the next time he tried. He would try to make sure that there would be a next time.
They fell into a comfortable silence for a while, Sakura sipped her tea and Itachi watched her, unable to drop the smile from his face. When she started speaking again, he listened to her talk about Yamato and Sachi, and then her work at the hospital. She talked about Ino and Naruto and Tsunade and Kakashi. He listened, admittedly not paying too much attention. It was nice to hear her talk and to be near her.
He hadn't expected that seeing her would help alleviate his anxiety (even though it made him nervous in a completely different way). But after speaking with her and nearly kissing her, he felt a renewed fear that their mission would go horribly wrong. It was terrifying enough that he might lose Sasuke. Now he was worried that he could lose her too.
She laughed at her own joke – something silly that Naruto had done, and touched his arm lightly. He was startled by the touch and grabbed her hand instinctively. She met his gaze again and the mood shifted.
He wanted to kiss her for the millionth time, but he couldn't.
"Sakura," he started.
The sound of the front door opening jolted him out of the moment. He dropped her hand and moved away from her.
"You can't just use Rasengan on everything, Naruto," Itachi heard Sasuke say, "It's not going to work on someone like Danzo."
"No way," Naruto replied, "It's a great finishing move."
They walked into the kitchen together and Itachi saw a smile on Sasuke's face that he hadn't seen since they had come back to Konoha.
"Sakura," Naruto said, "What are you doing here? We thought you went home."
Sakura merely shrugged, and to her credit she looked very casual. She probably didn't know what to say. Itachi wouldn't have known how to answer either. But Itachi didn't miss the way Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances.
"Do you guys want to discuss the plan?" she asked, changing the subject, "I have some ideas."
"I thought you were just supposed to be our medic," Sasuke said, "What ideas could you possibly have?"
Quicker than Itachi could see without his Sharingan activated, Sakura launched a senbon at Sasuke. Caught unaware, Sasuke brought his hand to his neck where the senbon had pierced his skin just above his collarbone.
"What the hell, Sakura?" Naruto asked.
Itachi laughed as Sasuke pulled the senbon from his neck, sending a glare in Sakura's direction.
"I was thinking poisoned senbon," she said.
Sasuke flicked the senbon onto the counter, "Do you really think you could hit Danzo with a senbon?"
"I hit you, didn't I?"
"Danzo has a Sharingan, Sakura, and he's going to be prepared for a fight," Sasuke replied.
"Fine," she huffed, "I'll just sit back and do nothing, then."
"No, that's actually a good idea," Itachi said, "Poisoning him. Sakura, tell us more about the poison."
She gave him a grateful smile. "There are several different types of poison I think would be useful against him," she said, "I think the best option is to use senbon as it'll be the easiest way to land a hit on him. I created a poison that will paralyze someone momentarily, which would enable someone to strike the final blow. I've also got a poison that can cause kidney failure, but it's slow acting. That one might be useful in case he succeeds in escaping."
"Yeah, I guess that might work," Sasuke conceded, "Why don't you give me and Itachi a couple of your poisoned senbon and we'll try to make it work."
Itachi saw her eyes narrow dangerously, and he was greatly amused by it. But to his surprise, she didn't argue. She pulled a row of senbon from the pouch in her pink apron and gave half of them to Sasuke. She then turned and offered the other half to him.
"I don't need them," he said, pushing her hand back into her chest.
She shook her head. "I have plenty more," she said, "Please take some."
Reluctantly, he pocketed the senbon. He didn't like that Sasuke undermined her that way – not when she was already so self-conscious about her skills as a ninja. He wanted her to know that he trusted her and he didn't doubt her abilities.
In fact, he was curious to see how she'd be in a fight. He didn't recall ever seeing her fight before, but he knew that she had killed Sasori. Taking down an Akatsuki member was a feat.
"Sakura," he said, and he delighted in the way her eyes focused sharply on him, Sasuke all but forgotten, "I'd like to spar with you. When you aren't busy."
Her eyebrows flew up in surprise, and he noticed a twitch in her lips that indicated she was hiding a smile.
"You want to spar with me?" she asked.
"I've never seen you fight before, but I know you killed Sasori," he said, "I'm curious to see what you're capable of."
"Okay," she agreed. "I'm free tomorrow after I pick up Yamato from the academy."
"Don't get ahead of yourselves," Sasuke said, "We don't know what's going to happen today."
Naruto punched him lightly in the arm, "Shut up, moron."
Itachi stared incredulously at his brother. Sasuke had always had an amazing confidence in himself and his determination for revenge indicated that he didn't plan on losing today. It sounded like he was suggesting…
His eyes drifted to Sakura who was glaring at Sasuke with a vehemence that was terrifying to him. He hoped he would never have to be on the opposite end of a look like that.
"God, Sasuke," she said, "You're such a downer."
"I'm just being realistic," he replied, "There could be some casualties today. We should prepare ourselves for that."
"No," Itachi said, "There will not be any casualties."
"That's the spirit, Itachi!" Naruto exclaimed.
"You're being awfully optimistic," Sasuke said.
It was Itachi's turn to glare at the younger Uchiha. Itachi had always wanted his brother to become strong, to be able to defend himself against anyone who would try to hurt him. He expected that having a strength like that would lend well to him being able to protect those he loved, too.
But maybe not.
"I am not going to allow anyone to be killed," Itachi said with growing confidence. He had always had pride in his abilities, but this time he had something more to prove. It wasn't just about Sasuke.
"Kakashi and Tenzo are formidable opponents," Itachi continued, "And Sakura is the best medic-nin in the world. We have Naruto and his kyuubi. We will not fail. Not with a team like this."
Sasuke scoffed.
"You wouldn't have kidnapped me if you didn't have at least some faith in my skill," Sakura said.
"Yeah, Sasuke, why are you being so depressing?" Naruto asked.
"I'm not being depressing," he insisted, "I just don't understand why we need a whole damn team to do this. Danzo's death belongs to Itachi and me. We were the ones hurt the most by his actions. It has nothing to do with you two."
"You're being selfish," Sakura said, "Isn't the important thing that he's dealt with? I mean, you can strike the final blow if it means that much to you, but is it really so crucial that only you and Itachi be the ones to fight him?"
"I'm an avenger, Sakura-chan," Sasuke said, his voice dripping with venom, "Revenge on Danzo is all I have now that you took away getting revenge on Itachi."
"You were thanking me for that last night!" Sakura exclaimed. Itachi's eyes snapped to her. It seemed that her relationship with Sasuke was more complicated than he'd thought. "Would you have preferred that I let you kill him? Would you have preferred not to know the truth?"
"That was what he planned for me," Sasuke said tersely, "Maybe it would have brought me peace."
"Oh, come on," Sakura snapped, "Like you don't love having him back. He's been a good brother to you. How could you be at peace having killed the only person on this planet that loves you?"
"Hey, I love him," Naruto chimed in.
He was promptly ignored.
"I wouldn't have known the truth," Sasuke argued, "I'd have believed I avenged my clan. That's what Itachi wanted until you showed up."
"I knew the truth," Sakura said, "I couldn't let you kill him after everything he did for you. He didn't deserve that."
"It's not about you!" Sasuke barked, "You are the one being selfish. You think I don't see the way you look at him? I don't know what happened between you two on your mission, but don't act like you were selflessly acting in my best interest."
"I never claimed to be acting in your best interest," she replied, her face flushed.
"Because obviously whatever is happening between you and my brother is your real motivator here," Sasuke continued, "I reject you a million times and so you decide to go after my criminal brother instead."
"That's enough, Sasuke," Itachi said.
"No," he snapped, "She's only using you."
Itachi felt bile rising in his throat and a flash of anger, though he was unsure at whom it was directed. "There is nothing going on between me and Sakura," he said. He chanced a look at her, but she was staring determinedly at the floor, "She slapped me at the ramen stand, remember?"
Itachi felt Kakashi and Tenzo approaching just before the knock sounded at the door. He gave his brother one last reproachful look before he answered the door.
"Ready to go?" Kakashi asked.
No one said a word as they made their way to the city gates.