Evening Falls

by Ava Sinclair

Elisa was once an everyday Twilight fangirl, but now, inexplicably, she's become a part of Edward and Bella's world. Her struggle to fit into her new life, however, may become a fight to survive that neither she nor Bella may win...

13. Halfway To Normal

First of all, THANK YOU all so much for your response to the last chapter. It shocked the hell out of me and made me all misty eyed like the sentimental drama queen that I am. You all rock.

Secondly, the thing about me and deadlines is, I lie. I don't do it intentionally, but I always seriously underestimate the amount of story I have to write, and overestimate the amount of time life is willing to give me to do it in. So I'm sorry this second part of Elisa's chapter took so long to get to you.

On the other hand, this chapter is super long and I really should have divided it again, but I promised you all poetry boy crushing in this chapter, and I was determined to deliver. Enjoy!

Halfway To Normal

Elisa:

Sorry I'm not home right now
I'm walking into spiderwebs
So leave a message
And I'll call you back
A likely story, but leave a message
And I'll call you back

'Spiderwebs', No Doubt

"Elisa, how long are you going to keep this up?"

Rosalie's voice was impatient. I looked up from my position behind the kitchen counter to see her surveying me, her brow furrowed in irritation.

"Keep what up?" I asked, but almost immediately lost interest in her answer. My attention was caught by the voice coming from the tiny television set perched on another nearby counter. An overly cheery TV chef was cheerfully rolling a ball of dough between her plump hands and I copied the movement, picking up my own clump of dough from the glass bowl before me.

"This!" Rosalie gestured at the flour-covered counter before me. "This whole insane cleaning and baking kick you've been on for the past few days. What is wrong with you?"

"Why would you think something's wrong with me? Maybe I just like to cook." My protest was half-hearted. I wanted her to stop talking so I could concentrate on what I was doing. Perfect piecrusts didn't just roll themselves, after all.

"Right. Elisa, you've been living with us for three months and in all that time, you've barely been able to operate a microwave. Now suddenly you're Martha Stewart's demonic love child. I know something's up." Rosalie put her hands on her hips and surveyed me with a clenched jaw.

I ignored her, dropping my perfectly round ball of dough on the middle of the counter and beginning to roll it flat.

A gentle cough sounded in my ear and I reluctantly looked up, belatedly realizing that Rosalie was not the only person in the kitchen with me. She was flanked by Esme and Emmett, who were both watching me with concerned expressions.

"Sweetheart, are you absolutely positive nothing's bothering you? After all, I did find you scouring your bathroom floor with a toothbrush at five in the morning." Esme's voice was tentative as she looked at me, and the blatant worry in her tone wasn't as easy to shake off as Rosalie's irritation.

"Not to mention that you washed Rosalie's BMW. Twice." Emmett folded his arms across his massive chest.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I considered how to answer them. It's not as if I didn't know, even if I didn't want to admit it, that I was acting bizarrely.

It had been three days since the 'incident' as I now called it in my head to avoid recalling any details. The first day had been the worst. Despite my attempts to block it all out, my traitorous mind, which was so good at forgetting everything I didn't want it to, refused to let go. I hadn't felt so close to crazy since the day when I had woken up from a dream only to find it was real, that Edward was dead because of me and everything in my world had changed. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't even think straight. I felt like once again I was losing my grip on reality.

I'd been desperate for a little mental peace, and I'd found it at three a.m. the following morning when insomnia prompted me downstairs for a nocturnal ice cream break. I'd accidentally dripped chocolate syrup on the kitchen floor. and in the process of wiping it up had found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the entire floor with a sponge. Two hours of desperate cleaning later, I had stumbled back to my room with the scent of Pine Sol burned into my skin and tumbled gratefully into an exhausted sleep.

It was like an addiction for me now. The more washing, scrubbing, polishing, and shining I did, the less I thought about anything. When I ran out of things to clean, I turned to something else that required a lot of both concentration and mindless repetition - the culinary arts. Emeril Lagasse was my new best friend. Racheal Ray was my mentor. Julia Child was the ultimate goddess.

There was just no way I could explain this to any of my adopted family. There was also no way I could appease them; make myself stop and go back to being normal. I didn't even know if I had a normal any more. I needed something to obsess over; at least until the sickening fear that overwhelmed me every time my thoughts got too close to the danger zone faded. I'd get over it all in time - why couldn't they just leave me alone until then?

Before I could even attempt to get my sluggish mind to come up with a way to stop Esme from worrying, we were distracted by the abrupt arrival of Alice. She raced into the kitchen soundlessly and came to a perfectly still stop before us.

"I have good news - " She stopped speaking abruptly as she took in the tableau before her. "What are you all staring at?"

"We're watching Elisa bake a pie. From scratch. She spent an hour peeling apples she picked herself from the orchard. It was riveting." Rosalie informed Alice dourly. And here I thought I overused sarcasm.

Alice's eyebrows rose slightly as she watched me press my flattened dough into the pie pan.

"How very...domestic." She murmured, and then turned back to the others. "Anyway, I was about to tell you - "

She broke off again, staring at Emmett. "What in the world happened to your pants?"

Emmett looked down at the black trousers he was wearing, grimacing at the way they were bursting at the seams and stopped a good two inches short of his ankles, showing a vast expanse of white sock.

"Err...Elisa washed them for me." He smiled weakly.

"In the washing machine?" Alice's voice rose slightly. "Elisa, how did you miss the tag that said 'dry clean only'?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled, concentrating on matching the edges of the pie dough to the pan. "Oh, right. Sorry about that."

Alice shook her head and turned back to Emmett. "I can't stand it. You look like Urkel. Please, go change!"

Emmett looked down as Rosalie grimaced. "Well, see, actually Elisa, uh -"

Alice looked horrified as she realized what he was trying to say. "She did that to all of your pants?" She closed her eyes as if in actual physical pain. "All that Prada...the Italian leather..."

"Next time I'll be more careful." I said, vaguely aware of the need to defend myself.

"Next time?" Alice croaked, turning to me. "Elisa, please understand that what I'm about to say does not mean that I adore you any less. However, if I ever catch you manhandling any of the designer clothing in this house again, especially if it's mine, there is no force in this universe that will stop me from killing you and hiding the body. Are we clear on that?"

"Sure. Whatever you say." I shrugged, eyes back on the TV as the onscreen chef went into near spasms of joy over the prospect of filling our pie with actual fruit.

I barely noticed when the four of them suddenly lifted their heads all at the same time and broke out into smiles.

"Finally!" Emmett exclaimed, grinning broadly.

"That's what I was trying to tell you." Alice beamed happily.

I distantly registered the sound of a car door slamming as I spooned apple filling into the pan.

"Thank God, the cavalry's here. Maybe they can talk some sense into her." Rosalie smirked at me.

"Huh?" I asked, finally distracted enough to look up. "What's going on?"

"Bella and Edward are home." Esme's smile was jubilant as she turned towards the front door, the others right behind her.

"Really?" I squealed, all thoughts of baking instantly forgotten.

The sound of the front door opening answered that question and I raced into the hallway and towards the foyer, the rest of them patiently matching my human pace.

I hurled myself into Edward before he was barely through the door. He laughed as he hugged me back. "We missed you too, Elisa."

"Sure, you did." I rolled my eyes, but smiled as Bella stepped over the threshold, looking around her with wide eyes. She hugged me as well, and then I stepped back to let the rest of the family at them.

Alice hurled herself at Bella with even more excitement than I had, then she nearly leapt at Edward. I watched as the rest of the family greeted them as well, the jubilant mood of a family reunited almost ringing through the air. Even Jasper appeared from wherever he'd been exiling himself to greet them. The only person missing was Carlisle, who was at work.

I had missed Bella and Edward even more than I'd realized, I thought as I stood there, watching. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears again as I looked at them. Perfect. I was such a sap. I took sapdom to a completely new level. I was saptastic.

Edward caught my eye and grinned at that and I flushed slightly, realizing he was hearing my thoughts quite clearly. I had let my guard down in the weeks that he wasn't around and now I felt vulnerable and exposed all over again. This wasn't good. I had learned from my previous experiences with him quite well. The more I tried not to think about Things That Must Not Be Remembered, the more I would. I was instantly desperate for more distractions. Maybe I could clean the gutters. Or -

"My pie!" I exclaimed suddenly. Everyone turned to stare at me. "Sorry." I flushed slightly. "It's just...I've got to get it in the oven. I want it to be done by dinner. Oh!" I brightened. "Now that Bella's here, I have someone to cook for. I'm going to make something special. I'd better go check out some recipes."

Bella stared at me. "You cook? Since when?"

Esme turned back to me, her brow furrowed. "Elisa, can't all that wait? I'm going to take Edward and Bella to see their wedding present. You worked so hard on it - don't you want to be there?"

"Oh, no." I backed away. "It's fine. You all go ahead. Have fun." Before anyone else could protest, I hurried back into the kitchen.

After a moment's quiet conversation, I heard the rest of them head out the front door. Voices and laughter drifted back to me as they all walked past the kitchen window, following the path down to the carriage house. I felt a twinge of regret. I would have really liked to be there with them when Bella and Edward saw their new place for the first time. At the same time, it was a relief to be away from Edward's mind reading abilities and safe on my own little island of denial.

I turned the volume on the television set up and prepared to lose myself once more.

x.X.x

I watched anxiously as Bella dug her fork into the pasta and took a tentative bite. She chewed for a moment and then gave me a startled glance.

"This is actually...good." She stared down at her plate. "You made this by yourself?"

"Thanks for sounding so surprised." I huffed, leaning back in my seat.

Bella laughed. "I'm sorry. It's just that...I had no idea you were interested in this sort of thing. You didn't need to go to so much trouble just for me."

We were in the formal dining room - the first time we'd used it since moving in. Esme had clearly wanted to celebrate Edward and Bella's homecoming. Everyone was there, even Jasper. While the rest of the family was seated around the table while Bella and I ate though, he was leaning against the far wall, there and watching, but not interacting. For a moment, I had a rush of guilt, despite my anger towards him. He was pulling away from everyone...because of me. His clear unease was taking its toll on Alice as well. Sometimes, when she didn't realize anyone was watching, her face was dark, haunted.

Edward was looking at her now as well, and I wondered if he was following my thoughts or whether he'd just been thinking the same thing too.

I turned my attention back to Bella and what she had been saying.

"It wasn't any trouble, Bella. You won't be eating human food much longer. Might as well enjoy it while you can. Plus, once you go I won't have anyone to practice on." I forced a bright smile.

An awkward silence fell at my words but I made myself continue. "Have you decided when you're leaving?"

Bella and Edward exchanged an uncomfortable glance but it was Carlisle who spoke.

"I've arranged with the clinic to take two weeks off starting this Friday. We'll leave Thursday night for Alaska." His eyes were wary as he looked at me.

Thursday night. That was in three days. Only three measly days until Edward and Bella walked out of my life. I stared down at my plate for a long moment, feeling my appetite disappear.

Don't you dare cry. I scolded myself. Look at how happy they are together. They deserve to stay that happy for eternity. Don't make this harder on Bella by acting like a brat.

I looked back up to see everyone staring at me. From the looks on their faces, they were all bracing for an outbreak of hysterics on my part.

I forced a shaky smile. "That's...great." I murmured lamely. I mean, really, even if I wasn't about to start bawling, what do you say in a situation like this? Have a nice death? Try not to eat anybody?

Everyone was still staring at me and it was getting harder and harder to keep smiling.

Edward, do something. Make them stop looking. I can't stand it.

Edward took pity on me as I knew he would. "Are you finished, Bella?" He asked, looking at her empty plate, and then shooting a quick look around the table.

Everyone began to talk at once, breaking the stilted silence, and relieved, I stood up and reached for Bella's plate.

"Elisa, you cooked. Let me clean up." Bella smiled at me.

"No, no, I don't mind. You guys just got here. Hang out and relax."

Bella started to protest but something about the look on my face had the words dying on her lips. Gratefully, I stacked the dishes and retreated to the kitchen. Once there, I filled the sink with water hot enough to scald my hands, and began to scrub the plate I held until the heat burned every other thought out of my mind. Until there was no more need to block out unwanted memories, no more grief for Edward and Bella, nothing but an empty oblivion...

xXx

An hour later, the dishes were washed and the kitchen had been mopped, polished, and sanitized into submission. I looked around at its gleaming surfaces and had to admit there was absolutely nothing left for me to do.

As if she were the mind reader instead of Edward, Alice appeared in the doorway nearly on cue.

"All done?" She said brightly. "Good. Come and join us in the living room. I tivo'd Gossip Girl for you."

I hesitated. "Maybe in a little while." I mumbled, looking around. There had to be something I was forgetting to do.

Maybe I should wax the floor...

"Oh no, you don't." A new voice spoke up and I looked up once more to see Edward this time. He was looking at me with a most perturbed expression. "The mindless repetition of your thoughts is maddening. I am not going to listen to you chant 'wax on, wax off' for the next few hours."

"I told you, Edward." Rosalie said from behind him, and I saw to my surprise that Bella and Emmett were crowding into the kitchen as well. "She's been like this for days. Clearly, she's broken. Fix her!"

"What is this? Why are you all in here?" I stared at the row of faces gazing down at me. "Is this like...an intervention?"

Alice cocked her head to the side, considering. "I suppose that's a good of a word as any."

I clenched my jaw in aggravation. Who did they think they were? Overreacting, neurotic vampires plus one, that's who. There was nothing wrong with me being a little more responsible than usual.

I stared at Edward with pleading eyes, begging him silently to put a stop to this but his face remained impassive.

"Well...get on with it then." I finally snapped through gritted teeth when no one spoke. "Should we all sit in a circle and talk about our feelings?"

Edward cleared his throat, opened his mouth, and then stopped for a minute. He turned to Rosalie. "Actually, Rose, I think you should be the one to talk to Elisa."

"What?" Rosalie sputtered. "Why me? Edward, you should do it. You're the one with all the practice at dealing with recalcitrant humans."

Bella made a face at that and Edward chuckled before he looked back at his blonde sister.

"Elisa looks up to you, Rosalie. She'll listen to what you have to say. Go on now."

Edward stepped back and at the same time Emmett gently shoved Rosalie forward until she was standing inches from me.

"Well...I..." Rosalie gave the rest of them a clearly frustrated look and turned back to me. "Elisa, listen...it's just that..." She stopped. "Edward, please! You know I'm not good at this sort of thing."

It was odd, watching her stumble over her words. She was generally so self-assured and unshakable. I must have really been getting on her nerves.

Edward didn't step forward to bail her out and I felt bad for putting her in such an awkward position. "Rosalie, it's ok. You don't need to say anything. I'm sorry I've been irritating you so much. I'll try to stay out of your way more."

Rosalie exhaled, her hands nervously tangling together.

"I think you're missing the point, Elisa. It's not so much that you have irritated me...though you have. It's more that I am -"

She looked up at the ceiling then, as if wishing it would fall in on her and save her from this conversation. "I am concerned. You've been so different lately. I...well, I liked you the way you were. I wish you'd go back to that. So if something has upset you and made you act this way, you should tell us. And then, you know...get over it. Quickly."

Rosalie stepped back then, looking greatly relieved. "I'm done."

Edward patted her shoulder as she stood next to him, although he looked a bit as if he wanted to laugh. "You did great, Rose."

She rolled her eyes at him and then looked back at me.

"Oh." I was completely at a loss for words. "Um...thanks, Rosalie."

There was another tongue-tied pause, and then finally Edward spoke again. "So, Elisa? Is there anything you want to tell us?"

This was it, my chance to get it all out and have a heart to heart that would probably lead to my long-term incarceration in a top of the line mental institution. So, was I ready to share?

No. Absolutely not. Hell to the N - O. No times infinity.

"OK, Elisa. I get the point." Edward grimaced.

"Wait a minute." Bella suddenly moved to the front, standing directly before me. "I know what this is about."

Uh oh. "You do?" I fought the urge to bite off all my fingernails in one motion.

Bella sighed. "It's because we're leaving, isn't it? You feel like we're abandoning you."

I froze. I'd spent the last hour putting that out of my mind and to have it brought up so abruptly again, before I had a chance to put up my defenses, was like being punched in the face.

I didn't say anything but the tears welling in my eyes were clearly enough of a response. The expressions on their faces were pained now, and in the case of Bella and Edward, guilty as well. I wanted to say something to make them feel better but I was afraid if I opened my mouth I'd sob instead.

Bella shuffled from foot to foot, looking much as Rosalie had, as if she wished someone else would take over for her. Her face was resolved, however, when she finally looked back at me.

"I wish it could be different. I wish we had more time with you. It's not like Edward and I don't realize how much we're going to miss. You're already a teenager. You're going to grow up and we won't get to see it. It's just that...not all of this is in our hands. I've made my choice but if I don't follow through, it won't only be a danger for me, but for all of us, including you. We can't ever give the Volturi an excuse to come here."

"I know." I whispered. "I understand all that, really. I don't blame you at all. I just - " I couldn't finish.

There was a long quiet, and then Bella looked over her shoulder at Edward. I couldn't see her expression but he immediately moved to her side.

"What is it?" I heard him whisper to her.

Bella bit her lip. "I've actually been thinking that - well, we don't exactly have to leave this Thursday, do we?" She turned to me again.

For a moment I was speechless, then I finally grasped what she was saying. "You mean...you might stay?"

"Just for a little while longer." Bella said hastily. "A couple of weeks, perhaps, long enough to see you settled in school. Pretty soon you'll be so busy you won't have time to miss us."

Before I could start jumping up and down like a five year old at Chuck E. Cheese, Alice broke into a dazzling smile. "You're going to be here for your birthday."

"What? No, I'm not!" Bella looked horrified.

Alice continued to grin. "Oh yes, you are."

"Really?" I squealed. "That would be so awesome - we could have a party and I can bake you a cake and - " I stopped at the expression on her face. "Or not."

Bella surveyed my face for a moment and sighed. "I suppose nineteen's not that much older than seventeen. Fine. Until my birthday. We can leave the day after." She looked up at Edward now. "If that's alright with you."

Edward smiled down at her and then kissed the top of her head. "Whatever you want." They stared at each other dreamily for a long moment and I almost expected violins to start playing in the background.

Emmett cleared his throat loudly. "Later for that, lovebirds. Focus. It's great that you two are staying and all, but you might want to clear it with Carlisle first since he already arranged his time off."

"No need." Carlisle's voice rang out behind us and we all whirled around to see him and Esme standing just beyond the doorway, arm in arm. Both were smiling. "It won't be a problem to rearrange my schedule. Thank you, Bella, for this. It's appreciated more than you know."

He looked from her to me and I realized then just how much he'd been worried that Bella and Edward's departure was going to send me off the deep end. I smiled guiltily. Considering the way I'd acted the past few days, he hadn't been far off the mark.

I looked back at Bella, taking a deep breath so my voice wouldn't shake when I spoke. "Thank you, Bella." I wished I could have told her outright what it meant to me that she and Edward would put off something so important on my behalf, but I couldn't find the words.

Bella smiled. "Well, now that that's settled, are you going to finally come hang out with us, or do you have some more obsessive cleaning to do?"

I paused for a moment, thinking it over. I felt strange, as though I'd come out of a deep fog and I could see everything so much more clearly now. I didn't want to go back into that fog. I wanted to make the most of the time I had left with Edward and Bella. I knew, even with this temporary reprieve, that it was still going to hurt like hell when they left, but I'd deal with that. I'd survived worse after all.

As for the 'incident'... I tensed automatically, pretending I didn't see the slight confusion on Edward's face. I'd deal with it later. Or not at all. There had to be a way to avoid obsessing about it that didn't involve permanent dishpan hands and a possible addiction to cleaning fumes.

I looked at Alice now. "Did you say something about recording Gossip Girl?"

Alice laughed and slung her deceptively delicate looking arm over my shoulder.

"Welcome back, Elisa. We missed you."

xXx

Morning light filtered through the dining room window, illuminating the room as I carried plates to the table.

"Bella, I hope you like your eggs scrambled. I haven't exactly gotten around to learning how to cook them any other way yet."

Bella raised her eyebrows as I set the plate before her. "Scrambled is fine but..." She and Edward exchanged concerned looks across the table. "I thought you were over this whole crazy Stepford Wife kick you've been on."

I giggled as I scooped two pancakes off the platter I was holding and onto her plate. "I am. I promise. I'm tired of smelling like Comet all the time. It's just that it turns out, oddly enough, I'm actually good at the cooking stuff."

I sighed now as I thought about the irony of that. My mother couldn't get me to boil water before, and now that I lived with a family of non-eating vampires, I start making like Betty Crocker. Leave it to me to turn up with a talent that was nearly useless.

Edward frowned at me from behind the newspaper he was pretending to read so Bella wouldn't get self-conscious about chewing next to him. He didn't comment though, and for that, I was grateful. It was already hard enough getting used to having to share my head all over again.

The three of us were mostly quiet as Bella and I finished breakfast, but it was a comfortable quiet. It was nice to see that they were making such a clear effort to spend time with me, when I knew they would probably rather be holed up at the carriage house doing things I really didn't want to think about.

I hazarded another quick glance at Edward's expression at that but his face remained blank this time, eyes still on his reading. I forced myself not to smile and returned to finishing the last few bites of my pancakes.

Alice came strolling into the kitchen at that moment.

"Good morning." Her white teeth flashed at us. "Bella, Charlie's going to call your cell in seven minutes. He misses you."

Bella straightened up and felt her pockets. "I left it at the carriage house." She grimaced and jumped up. "I'd better hurry."

"I can -" Edward began but Bella waved him off.

"Stay. I'll be back in a little while." She dashed out of the dining room.

"Bella, don't - " Alice called after her. In the distance we heard a thud.

"- run." Alice shook her head, smiling.

"I'm OK!" Bella called out to us just as Edward jumped to his feet. We heard the front door open and close and he sat back down, looking resigned.

"She looks happy." Alice told Edward softly as she sat down in Bella's vacated seat.

He sent a gloriously incandescent smile at her, making her laugh outright. "Apparently, she's not the only one."

As they continued to talk, I let my thoughts drift away into mindless daydreams and random thoughts. It was a couple of minutes before I became distantly aware of any of their semi-silent communication again.

"You were right. I needed to have more faith. Thank you." Edward was telling Alice now, his expression intense. "I owe you a great deal."

Alice's smile held a hint of wickedness now. "Yes, you do."

I finished the rest of my orange juice, wondering what they were talking about.

Edward's own expression turned light once more. "You definitely stacked the odds. The nightgown was a nice touch, by the way."

"I can't take the credit for that one, actually." Alice shook her head and looked over at me. "Elisa picked it out."

"Hmm?" I said, slowly catching up. "Oh, Bella's nightgown! We found it in a vintage shop. It was so her. Did she like it?"

Edward didn't answer. He stared at me for a long moment. "That's it. I am not getting you a car for your birthday."

"What?" I was bewildered. What had I done now?

Edward slowly broke into another incredibly wide grin. "I'm getting you a fleet."

"Oh." I laughed then. "So she did like it." I watched his face. "No...you liked it. You liked it a lot." I shuddered. "Thanks for sharing, Edward, but that was one scenario I really didn't want to imagine."

Alice laughed and grimaced at the same time.

"If you think imagining it is bad, try getting the full visual." She made a face as she exited the kitchen.

Edward went back to his paper, looking a bit uncomfortable now.

"Poor Alice. Bet she wishes her gift had a refund policy sometimes." I muttered, mostly to myself, as I stood up and took my plate to the sink to rinse it off. Not that I wasn't happy to know that everything had worked out for them, but the mere idea of Bella and Edward getting buck wild was massively uncomfortable for me. And - well, kind of gross.

"Elisa, please! If you must think about my sex life, could you at least come up with a more discreet term than 'buck wild'?" Edward was making a face at me over his paper.

"Nobody asked you to listen." I tossed back at him absently, not really paying attention. I was a little startled by my own reactions. The way I felt around Edward, and my thoughts about him and Bella were...different. Something had changed for me, and I was trying to put my finger on what.

I thought about it for a moment, and then realization began to set in. I gazed at Edward thoughtfully and he stared back, still looking perturbed.

Could it be? Really? I decided to test my new theory. Deliberately, I called forth one of my most frequent pre-traumatic death fantasies. As it sprang to Technicolor life in my mind, my daydream self (still me, but taller, and with perfect hair) pressed her lips eagerly against daydream, Bella-free Edward.

As the image blossomed in both our minds, Real Edward winced so violently that his chair skidded halfway across the kitchen. He looked thunderstruck.

"I know!" I beamed in answer to his horrified expression. "Isn't it justrepulsive?"

"What?" He croaked, looking like he wanted to bolt out the door. It seemed he was still so shocked by the vision I had just forced on him that he didn't quite understand what I was getting at.

"Don't you see, Edward? The idea of you and me together is just, like...sickening! Do you understand what this means? I'm totally over you!"

Edward stared blankly for another moment. "You are?"

"Yes!" I burbled joyfully, beginning to dance around the kitchen. "Thank you, Gods of Inappropriate and Awkward Crushes, for letting me off the hook! This is going to make my head such a better place to be!"

I stopped prancing when I caught sight of Edward's still bemused expression. A little late, I realized that my utter joy over this newfound revelation could be coming off as somewhat insulting.

I hesitated. "Look, it's not like you aren't still gorgeous and great and all that. It's just that - well, I guess that I really do see you as more of a brother type now. Besides, you're kind of annoying, with the mental eavesdropping and the superiority complex. No offense."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. I simply can't imagine why I'd find your sudden revulsion towards my person in the least bit offensive." He frowned. "And I don't have a superiority complex."

I rolled my eyes. "You so do."

"I so do not!" He protested, and then he looked horrified all over again. "Oh no. Your Valley Girl teen speak - it's catching!"

I rolled my eyes at his droll tone, ignoring the jab about the way I talked. "Oh come on, Edward. Don't tell me you're not relieved about the end of the whole crush ordeal."

Amusement was beginning to creep into his face now. "I don't know, Elisa. I feel rather...bereft." His eyes danced.

"Ha ha. Funny."

Edward chuckled. "In all seriousness though, Elisa, I truly didn't mind it. I was honored to be that high in your affections. I can see that you don't pick them lightly."

"No, I guess I don't." I mused, more to myself than to him. After a moment's quiet, I looked back at him. "You're still high in my affections, Edward. Just...not that way any more."

I turned away to clear off the table and then looked to see him still watching me, his eyes speculative now.

"I don't suppose your change of heart has anything to do with a certain Jacob Black, does it?"

I shot Edward a dirty look as I reached for a sponge to clean off the table with. "Have I mentioned lately that I really, really hate that whole mind reading thing you do?"

He did not rise to the bait; just continued to watch me with his far too observant golden eyes.

I sighed. "Look, the whole Jacob thing was no big deal. It was just a little crush. Took me like two days to get over it."

I bit my lip as he smiled slightly. "OK, more like two weeks. The point is, there was no hope there. He barely noticed my existence. Do I look like the kind of girl who enjoys beating a dead horse?" I paused for a moment as my words created unwanted mental images. "Ew."

Edward had an odd look on his face that I was pretty sure had nothing to do with any dead horse imagery I'd inadvertently sent him. He eyed me for a moment, looking contemplative.

"I wouldn't exactly say that he didn't notice you, Elisa. In fact, I think you may have had more of an impact than you realize."

I shook my head. "Edward, I'm not weeping under the covers at night over him. You don't need to try to make me feel better."

"I'm not." He stood up now, reaching into his pocket. "I found this in the mailbox the morning we left Forks."

He tossed me something and I reached out and caught it automatically. It was a padded manila envelope, smaller than my hand. My name was scrawled on the front in bold, unfamiliar handwriting. Curious and a little confused, I opened it. Something tiny fell out immediately and I barely managed to catch it before it hit the floor.

I turned the small object over in my hands curiously. It was an intricate wooden carving and I immediately recognized the craftsmanship - it was the same quality as the beautiful wolf charm that Jacob had carved for Bella. But this wasn't a wolf...it was a tiny flower, intrinsically detailed, and stained a pale blue.

I stared at it for a moment and then looked inside the envelope. There was a folded piece of torn notepaper inside with just one short sentence.

'Told you I wouldn't forget.'

I blinked rapidly and looked back at the wooden flower in my hand.

"It's a forget-me-not." Edward explained quietly.

I couldn't speak. I just stood there, holding the charm, along with Jacob's note, and wondered if there was a polite way to ask Edward to leave so that I could cry in private.

When I looked up again, he was already gone.

xXx

I'd been sitting on my bed, holding Jacob's charm in my hand and staring into space for who knew how long when there was a quiet knock on my door.

"Come in!" I called, hastily stashing the charm on my nightstand.

The door opened and Bella walked in, dangling a set of car keys from her fingers. I looked back at the sunlight that beamed through my window, wondering where she was going. Edward couldn't take her out in this weather, at least not any place public.

"Pretty." Bella murmured, looking around my bedroom and I realized it was the first time she'd been in it.

"Thanks. It's all Esme though." I looked at her curiously. "What's up?"

"There's been a little change in your plans for today." She told me, absently playing with a lock of her hair.

"I didn't know I had any plans for today." I said, a little confused.

Bella smiled as she moved closer to the bed. "I think it was supposed to be a surprise. The principal of your new school offered to give you a private tour and a chance to meet some of your teachers before school starts next week. With this though - " she gestured at the bright day outside "- Carlisle and Esme can't risk going out. That means I get to take you." She jangled the car keys. "We've got to be there in an hour so get moving."

I jumped off my bed, excited at the thought of getting a preview of the place where I'd soon be spending half my life, and headed to the mirror to make sure I wasn't looking completely heinous. Bella waited patiently as I ran a brush through my hair and put on a coat of lip-gloss.

When I was finished, I turned away from the mirror to see Bella still standing next to my bed. She was looking at a small object she held carefully between her fingers. With a slight sinking of my heart, I recognized what she was staring at. It was the forget-me-not I'd left on the nightstand.

"Uh..." I had no idea what to say.

Bella looked up at my stammer and to my relief, she was smiling. "It's beautiful." She said, no hint of surprise in her voice and I immediately realized why.

"Edward told you about it."

She nodded, walking over to me and gently lifting my hand. She touched the golden bracelet around my wrist; the one Edward had given me. "Were you not wearing it because you were afraid it would hurt me?"

I nodded, blushing slightly.

"Thought so." Bella fastened the charm to my bracelet and we both looked at it for a moment, dangling there against my wrist. "Elisa, you're not taking anything from me. I don't have any claim on Jacob."

There was nothing I could say to that, or at least nothing that she would want to hear. I just smiled weakly as my fingers traced the flower.

"It's too bad that the two of you didn't have more time together." Bella's eyes were thoughtful as she watched me. "Who knows what could have happened?"

I sighed. I knew what could have happened. A whole lot of nothing, that's what. She may not think that she had any claim on Jacob but he was hers anyway, signed, sealed, and delivered, even if there had been part of him that had looked at me and regretted it.

"Elisa?" Bella's voice was lower now and I looked up to see her eyes filling with tears. "Do you really think that..." She hesitated. "That he's going to be alright?"

No. "Yes." I lied. "It'll probably take some time, but he's going to be fine. Better than fine, even."

Bella exhaled, her face losing some of its sadness. "You're right. He will be. Anyway, we really should get going."

Both of us relieved at the change of subject, we left the room and hurried down the stairs. After a quick goodbye to the others, we were in Bella's Mustang and headed down the long rural road leading towards the highway into town.

I admired the interior as we drove, twisting around in my seat to check everything out. "Bella, this is the coolest car ever." I announced after a moment.

She looked over at me and laughed, the wind blowing her hair into her eyes. "I know."

Her smile faded slightly as she looked at the upcoming highway signs and she dug the paper with the directions to Sullivan High School off the dashboard.

Belatedly I realized she was even less familiar with St. John's than I was. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" I asked her as she looked over the paper.

A sigh was her only response. I giggled. "We're going to get lost, aren't we?"

Bella wrinkled her nose. "Probably." She admitted, and then we both laughed.

Surprisingly though, Bella did pretty well for her first time driving around St. John's. We took a couple of wrong turns but with the assistance of some helpful locals we got back on track and arrived at the high school only about fifteen minutes after we were supposed to be there.

The principal, Mr. Wilkers, a short, nervous looking man with thin gray hair greeted us with what I thought was unusual enthusiasm. "Elisa Cullen!" He gushed, shaking my hand eagerly. "I've heard so much about you from your aunt and uncle. It's a delight to have you in my school this year. I'm sorry to hear that the flu kept them from coming with you today, but it's wonderful to meet your, uh - " He looked at Bella.

"Sister in law." Bella explained, smiling politely as he grabbed her hand with as much energy as he had mine.

"Excellent." Mr. Wilkers beamed and Bella and I exchanged bemused looks. "Unfortunately, I had to reschedule a last minute appointment and so I won't be able to take you on your tour personally." He looked almost devastated at this and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to avoid snickering. "However, my secretary, Marcie, will show you around the campus and then bring you back here and I'll answer any questions you have then. Your happiness, Elisa, is of paramount importance to all of us here at Sullivan High."

Huh? Why? I shot Bella another bewildered look as Mr. Wilkers showed us into the outer office to await the secretary, who had gone to get my class schedule.

When Mr. Wilkers, still stammering apologies, went back into his own office to await his appointment, I turned to her. "OK, either Canadians are like, super, no-boundaries-having friendly, or there's some serious butt kissing going on here."

Bella laughed. "From what I understand, Carlisle and Esme made a very generous donation to the school, one that kept their entire art department from being cut. I think you can expect special treatment for quite a while."

"Sweet." I grinned. "I hope word trickles down to my math teacher."

Bella chuckled as the secretary came bustling in, gushing just as much as the principal had.

The tour was nice, but nothing particularly interesting. The campus was fairly large and I knew I would never remember where all my classes were by the time school started the next week. I got to meet a couple of teachers as well, who seemed nice enough but not nearly as impressed by my new last name as either the principal or the secretary. Darn it. Maybe lenient grading wasn't in the cards after all.

Just as we were ushered back into the outer office, the principal's door opened and out came a flustered looked older woman with dull red hair. She was accompanied by a boy with shoulder length, dirty blond hair and a surly expression. Mr. Wilkers was right behind them and the look on his face was very different from the one he'd had when he spoke to me.

"Keep in mind, Mrs. Rafferty, that we are being very generous in allowing your son back this year after last year's debacle. Any more problems and expulsion will be our only option." He looked at the boy. "Is that clear?"

The boy didn't answer until his mother nudged his shoulder, her expression aggravated. Then he sighed heavily, shuffling his feet. "Yes, sir."

Mr. Wilkers caught sight of us then and his face went slightly red. He dismissed the mother and son with a glance and hurried forward to greet us once more. I moved aside to let the two of them pass. As the boy walked by me, he glanced at me for a brief moment, and I was caught short by the brilliant light blue of his eyes. My heart skipped a beat and I watched as they walked through the door and disappeared.

"Well, what did you think?" Bella asked twenty minutes later. We were back in her car, putting our seatbelts on, ready to go home. "Did you like the school?"

"Hmm?" My thoughts had drifted again and I had to drag myself out of another daydream in order to concentrate on what she was saying. "Oh, the school. Who cares? Did you see that boy?"

"What boy?" Bella turned the key in the ignition and drove out of the parking lot.

"The boy in the principal's office! The gorgeous one with the incredible blue eyes!" I exhaled impatiently.

"Oh, him. He was alright, I guess." Bella's voice was disinterested as we sped down the road.

" 'Alright'?" I sputtered indignantly. "He was entirely hot! Oh, forget it. I don't know why I bother. You are so picky. They can't all be sparkly, iridescent vampires or hunky, brooding werewolves, you know."

Bella laughed. "I suppose I do have pretty high standards." She admitted after a moment, blushing slightly.

"Definitely. I met Mike Newton at your wedding and he was totally adorable, yet you talked about him like he was some giant slug boy oozing on your shoes." I shook my head. "On the other hand, I guess it's a good thing you never encouraged your many admirers by showing any kind of interest. Imagine the battlefield your wedding day could have been if it had been full of spurned Bella suitors. It would have been like Helen of Troy all over again."

Bella blushed more. "Shut. Up." She muttered through gritted teeth.

"No, really. We're talking total Trojan War. Knife fights over the buffet, gun battles on the dance floor...the entire male population of Forks, maybe even some of the females, battling it out for the fair Bella's hand." I sighed dramatically.

"Smartass." Bella gave me a mock glower and I giggled the rest of the way back to the house.

xXx

The next few days went by almost too quickly. I was trying to hold on to each moment I got with Bella and Edward, making the most of these final days, but the time still flew by. At least I had the prospect of school and the new knowledge that at least one cute boy would be there to distract me.

I'd been restless the whole Sunday before school was to start, and as evening fell, I wasn't getting any more relaxed. Emmett offered to take me for another run, probably because Rosalie was going mad watching me pace all over the house, but Esme shot down that idea, saying it was too dark and cold. To placate me, Bella and Edward offered to stay in and have a movie night with the rest of us. I had serious doubts about whether I'd be able to sit still long enough to follow anything with a plot, but I agreed anyway.

As the two of them debated with Emmett and Rosalie over what movie to watch, I wandered into the kitchen looking for a snack and found a box of microwavable popcorn. I took one out and put it in the microwave, then leaned against the counter, tapping my fingers impatiently, waiting for it to be done.

Just as the first kernels began to pop, the phone on the wall next to me rang. I was the only one in the kitchen, so I picked it up.

"Cullen Residence." I said, using my best polite voice in case it was one of Carlisle's colleagues.

"Pet!" An unpleasantly familiar voice drilled into my ear. "Ah, how adorable; they've trained you to answer the telephone!"

I gnashed my teeth together with the effort it took to not respond to that, and dropped the phone on the counter as if it burned my fingers.

"It's Tanya." I grumbled to no one in particular.

Rosalie appeared almost instantly to pick up the receiver.

"Hello, Tanya!" I heard her exclaim.

I got my popcorn and retreated to the living room before I could give into the temptation to snatch the phone back and tell Tanya something that would definitely get me into trouble with Carlisle.

Emmett was already in the living room, sprawled on an easy chair in the corner and watching a loud action movie on the enormous flat screen TV. He looked bored.

I looked to see that Alice was perched in the window seat in the corner, generally Rosalie's favorite spot. I wondered if there was going to a territorial smack down over it later. She had a sketchbook on her lap, and her eyes were far away as her pencil moved rapidly across the paper.

On the loveseat in the opposite corner, Bella and Edward were curled together. If they were supposed to watching the movie, they weren't doing a good job of faking it. The two of them were staring into each other's eyes with equally dumbstruck, lovesick expressions. I didn't know why they even bothered with these little shows of 'family time'. It couldn't be more obvious that they were dying to get back to the carriage house where they could boink like bunnies in private.

Edward extracted himself from Bella long enough to shoot me a pained look, and I smirked as I settled myself on the long sofa in front of the television. After a moment, I realized I'd already seen the movie so I looked to the magazines on the coffee table for entertainment. Most of them were gossip rags, which clearly had been purchased with me in mind. I couldn't imagine there was anyone else in the house that cared about whether Britney was planning a comeback or Angelina and Brad were on the rocks. I picked one and settled back to read.

Several minutes later Rosalie strolled into the room.

"Tanya says hello." She announced to the room in general.

"That's nice." Alice still looked distracted, but she smiled as she responded. "How are they all?"

Rosalie smiled as she crossed the room to join me on the sofa. "Surprisingly well. Tanya sounded like she was in a wonderful mood. Apparently, Irina has made a turn around. She's been talking and even gotten out and about quite a bit. They're all so relieved."

I wondered idly what had been wrong with the vaguely familiar sounding Irina, and then returned to my magazine, only half listening to the rest of what Rosalie was saying.

"Tanya mentioned you, Edward. She said you were planning to bring Bella to them soon for a formal introduction to her family. Everyone is apparently very excited to meet your bride."

Across the room, Bella looked up, showing interest in the conversation for the first time. She gave Edward a quizzical look. "Am I missing something here?"

Edward looked as though he wished Rosalie hadn't said anything.

"Tanya wants to meet you." He finally admitted to Bella. "As well as the rest of her clan, apparently. She asked me to bring you by soon. I did not commit to it, however, no matter what impression she gave Rosalie. I wanted to talk to you about it first."

Bella looked contemplative for a long moment. "I think I'd like to meet her as well." She said finally. "Besides, if they are expecting us, it would be rude not to come. I don't want to cause a rift between all of you and your closest friends." She looked abruptly downcast. "At least not more than I already have."

Edward sighed. "Bella, what happened with Laurent was not in the least your fault and all of them know it. He got what he deserved. Tanya herself made a very clear point of telling me that none of them blame you."

I was definitely puzzled now. I had a feeling I should know what they were talking about, but many of the details I'd known about Bella and Edward in my old life were just as fuzzy as the rest of my past memories.

Edward was looking at me now. "Laurent was Irina's companion." He explained. "The werewolves killed him early this last spring when he tried to attack Bella."

"Oh!" Now I remembered. I turned to Bella then. "Whether they're over it or not, are you seriously going to go hang out with Tanya of your own free will?" I made gagging noises.

Rosalie laughed at the blatant ire in my tone. "Tanya's not so bad, Elisa. In fact, I think if you ever got to know her, you'd probably like her."

"That's unlikely." I mumbled under my breath.

Rosalie watched my unmoving expression and shook her head. "Don't judge her so quickly. You're so young, Elisa. Everything is so black and white to you. Either someone is a villain or they're not; there's no in between, no shade of grey."

I frowned. "What's so grey about it? She showed up at Bella and Edward's wedding and tried to steal the groom. That puts her pretty firmly in the villain category as far as I'm concerned. I mean, really, what kind of person does that?"

Rosalie shrugged. "A lonely one, perhaps. One who really doesn't understand what's she's missing in her life. Tanya has spent lifetimes never knowing love, and I think, without even realizing it, she's trying to seek it out. I feel for her."

Oh yay, a dissection of Tanya's character and motivations. Let me count the ways in which I didn't care. With a subtle roll of my eyes, I went back to my magazine. At least Bella would be a raging newborn by the time she went to visit the Denali coven, and able to hold her own. Maybe Tanya would bat her eyes at Edward once too often and Bella would lose it and kill her. One could hope, anyway.

"Oh!" Rosalie said suddenly, as if she'd just remembered something, dragging my attention back to her. "Tanya mentioned something else."

Edward's head shot up and he sent Rosalie a fierce look. "You're just now deciding to tell us this?"

"Edward, she hasn't told us yet." Bella sighed and smiled at the same time. "Do you think she could finish a sentence before you start in on her?"

"Thank you, Bella." Rosalie said pointedly.

Edward looked irked - I'd bet good money that whatever Rosalie was about to say, he had not wanted Bella to hear. Too bad for him - she was going to be strong enough to kick his ass in a couple of weeks, so he might as well get over the whole hyper protective thing.

Rosalie was speaking again. "She said Sebastian had been there for a visit recently. He mentioned stopping by to see us next, but Tanya told him it wasn't a good time. She's pretty sure she talked him out of it."

Edward gritted his teeth. Bella looked as confused as I did. "Who's Sebastian?" She asked.

"A blight on the world." Edward mumbled, still giving Rosalie a murderous look.

"He's a family friend." Rosalie corrected.

Edward snorted loudly, obviously not in agreement.

Bella gave him an impatient look and then turned to Alice, who had been staring blankly out the window. "Alice, do you mind giving me a little back story here?"

"Oh." Alice smiled, still looking distracted. "Sebastian is a nomad, like many of us. He generally travels alone, but he's very well liked among our kind. He's stayed with us on several occasions, but he's never settled down anywhere for long. He's very charming, in his own way." The way she said that didn't make it sound like a compliment.

"Most sociopaths are." Edward grumbled, turning his 'stop talking' glower on Alice now. She looked suitably unimpressed. They stared each other down for a moment, and then he turned back to Bella, looking resigned. "I'm sorry if I seem like I'm holding back. It's just - Sebastian is not trust worthy. The idea of him anywhere near you…or Elisa…" He shuddered.

Vitally interested in the conversation now that my name had been brought up, I leaned forward, my magazine forgotten. "Why? He hunts humans?"

Edward frowned. "No, actually. Like us, Sebastian sticks to an animal diet - mostly. It's not out of any type of reverence for human life, however. He sees mortals as little more than toys to be played with, and since he has no respect for them, he can't stand the idea of being dependent on them for anything, including sustenance. Like Alice said, he's very charming, but it's a front. He's manipulative and power hungry. He also has certain talents, but he's so blatantly untrustworthy that even the Volturi declined him when he tried to join their ranks. Sebastian would be delighted with the new, vulnerable element of our clan. He'd think of both of you as a tool to be used in whatever way could benefit him. Such as selling Elisa out to the Volturi if it won their favor."

The room went instantly tense. I could see Rosalie had not thought of that, and her eyes were alarmed now.

Everyone looked at Alice expectantly, but her face had already gone blank. He waited patiently for a moment, and then as her eyes returned to life his own expression became relieved.

"He's definitely not coming." Alice informed the rest of us as Edward leaned back on the couch. "He's on a ship. I couldn't see exactly where he was headed, but it's far - not anywhere near here. I don't think he'll be back in our part of the world for quite a while."

"Well, that's that then." Rosalie looked relieved. She threw a glance at Edward and he smiled at her, his irritation with her apparently forgotten. In fact, the entire atmosphere in the room was rapidly becoming more relaxed. For a moment, I thought it was just the communal relief at Alice's pronouncement, but then a slight prickling on the back of my neck had me turning around.

Jasper was there, standing near the doorway. I stared at him curiously for a moment, realizing suddenly that he'd been around a lot more lately. Quiet, and on the fringes, but most definitely present, much more so than he had been in months.

With a jolt, I noticed that he was looking right back at me. I flinched nervously, and lowered my eyes, but not before I saw that his expression wasn't hostile as it had been so often in the past. He'd looked almost...contemplative, as if he were trying to figure out a hard to solve puzzle. Unease rippled through me at the thought and I wasn't quite sure why.

Determinedly, I stared back at the movie on the television, forcing myself to pay attention to it. I didn't take my eyes away from it until it was over, and when I finally allowed myself to glance up, both he and Alice were gone. I felt a sense of relief that was far stronger than the relaxing vibes that he'd pumped into the room earlier.

I yawned widely, stretching my arms above my head, seeing now that Bella and Edward were gone too. I wondered if they'd made a run for it as soon as the credits starting rolling on the screen or if they'd snuck out before.

"It's a big day tomorrow - you should go to bed." Rosalie told me. She and Emmett were on their feet as well.

I would have argued but I was too sleepy now to keep up the pretense. With a resigned smile, I said goodnight and headed towards my room.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as I passed the shadows underneath the staircase, realizing belatedly that I wasn't alone. Jasper and Alice stood there, barely visible, wrapped in each other's arms. Alice was reaching up to smooth the hair away from his eyes and he was whispering something to her as his hands caressed her face, too low for me to hear.

Seeing them together, in what was clearly supposed to be a private moment, was far more embarrassing then it would have been if I'd caught any of the others the same way. Alice and Jasper didn't often show their affection towards each other in front of any of us and when they did, it always felt so much more intense.

Before I could turn away and rush up the stairs, they had spotted me and were apart in an instant.

"I didn't -" I began, but Jasper took a step back and disappeared. Alice turned towards me. My face was burning.

"I'm so sorry." I stammered. "I didn't mean to - well..."

Alice smiled reassuringly as she stepped towards me. "It's fine, Elisa." Her eyes scrutinized my face. "I hope you're on your way to bed. You look tired."

So did she, I recognized abruptly. There was a type of weariness clinging to her features that didn't belong on a vampire's face. The smudges under her eyes, indicating that she needed to hunt, only added to the impression that she needed a good night's sleep.

"Are you alright?" I couldn't help it; the words slipped out before I could stop them.

Alice looked startled for a moment, and then she laughed lightly. "Of course, silly. Why wouldn't I be?"

I didn't have the answer for that but I heard the false note in her voice. These past few weeks I'd thought the increasing darkness on her face, and the looks Edward had been giving her ever since he returned, were because of her concern over Jasper. Now I was wondering if it was something else completely.

Alice's smile faded as she returned my gaze. "You know, you are far more perceptive than someone your age should be." Her smile returned, rueful now, but genuine. "It's just..." She hesitated for a moment, and touched her head. "It never stops. Sometimes I wish it would just be quiet for a while."

"Is there anything I can do?" I asked.

"You can stop worrying about everyone else, and get a good night's sleep." Alice took my shoulders and turned me towards the staircase. "Goodnight, Elisa."

Her words were pointed, but her smile was impish now as I headed up the stairs.

"Goodnight, Alice!" I called back, but the hallway was already empty.

I continued up the stairs and was about to push open my bedroom door when I stopped.

I turned around and eyed the door to the library across the hall. I hadn't been in there since the 'incident'.

I thought about it, chewing a nail nervously and then, before I could lose my nerve, I walked over to the door and pushed it open.

Esme had left the lamps on in here, knowing my tendency for late night reading. I stepped inside hesitantly and immediately made my way to the window. I looked out across the grounds towards the carriage house, noting with relief that there was soft light filtering from the windows and a thin spiral of smoke coming from the chimney. Edward was far enough away that my thoughts were my own once again. Not that I was exactly sure that I wanted to think them.

I turned towards the fireplace and looked at the empty wall above it where Carlisle's cross had once hung. For a moment, I imagined that I could still see its faint outline on the wall. Or maybe it was my own guilty conscience projecting images for me.

I wasn't exactly sure what I was feeling guilty about and I sat down in the stuffed chair before the fireplace to think it over for a minute. After a few minutes of contemplation, I decided I felt guilty because...I should have told the others what had happened, with the cross breaking and then everything going wonky on me. Carlisle had asked me to trust and rely on them. Keeping this to myself felt like a betrayal after all they'd done for me. What was I afraid of, really? I knew they wouldn't really lock me up, even if every single one of them thought that I'd lost my mind.

It was just that...all I wanted now was to be normal. I was tired of the weirdness that constantly tried to hijack my life. I just wanted to go to school and hate it the way teenagers were supposed to, get picked on by some mean girls, crush on a few unattainable boys, date a couple of jerks, and get my heart crushed. Oh, and fail math. Again.

Those were all things that I understood, that I could deal with. This, whatever it was, I could not.

And if I told anyone about it, I couldn't pretend to be normal anymore. I'd have to face it. I was so not ready for that. Maybe I would never have to be. Maybe it would never happen again. A girl could dream, right?

Speaking of dreaming...I hopped up to head back to my room. It was time to leave all this behind and focus on what awaited me tomorrow...my first day of school. Possibly the scariest thing I'd faced in the whole time I'd been here.

I opened the library door to step out into the hallway and nearly had a heart attack. Jasper was standing there, just outside the doorway, as if he'd been there all along. Maybe he had been.

Jasper was infuriatingly silent as I hyperventilated and tried to keep from passing out from shock. "Don't..." I gasped out after a minute. "...ever...do...that...again."

For a moment, he almost looked amused. I glared up at him. "Was there something you wanted?"

He didn't say anything. After a moment, I sighed in exasperation and whirled around to go to my room.

"Elisa."

His voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned back. He surveyed me for a long moment and then his eyes went dark. "Never mind." With that, he turned and loped gracefully down the hall.

"I'm so glad we had this talk!" I snapped after him. He didn't turn around or make any sign that he'd heard. I huffed my way inside my room and closed the door with an angry click. Almost immediately, I was disappointed with myself for rising to the bait. I definitely needed to practice that self-discipline that Carlisle had mentioned. It was just...hard. Especially when Jasper acted like someone had given him a handbook titled 101 Ways to Seriously Piss Off Your Adopted Human.

I looked at the clock on my nightstand and flinched. It was getting late and I needed my rest if I didn't want to be a baggy-eyed, sleep deprived fiend on my first day.

I wouldn't think about any of it, I vowed to myself as I got ready for bed. No freaky self-repairing cross memories, no swirly vortexes, no seriously aggravating Jasper. I would only concentrate on the mundane details of my ordinary existence. I was going to be just another regular girl at school tomorrow, no different than anyone else. Except, of course, for the very unordinary fact that I lived with a family of vampires.

I gritted my teeth at that and forced myself back to the happy land of denial.

One normal life, coming right up.

xXx

I was terrified.

It was far more frightening then I had thought I would be, standing there in the middle of the crowded hallway of Sullivan High, trying to make my way through the jungle.

I had never really had the experience of being the new girl before - at least not since the fifth grade, when my parents bought the house we'd lived in ever since. Even then though, I met Michelle and Rae and bonded with them almost immediately, so I never really had to worry about being totally stuck on my own.

This was different. I was not only in a different school but also in a different country and I felt as alien as I would if I had neon green skin and antennas. It was the feeling of being completely alone that I hated most of all.

Carlisle had decreed that none of the others would be enrolling in school with me. Not that any of them had been jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of pretending to be high school students again after having so recently graduated anyway. I think Emmett would have done it though, if I'd begged. Carlisle said, however, that the contrast between me and the rest of them, with my tendency to grow and change like a normal human, and their tendency to, well, not, would have been too obvious.

I suspected what he really meant by that was that, on my own, I was reasonably pretty and somewhat intelligent. In comparison to them, I was a plain Jane of epic proportions and a drooling cretin on top of it. The faculty and my fellow students would never be able to believe we'd come from the same family.

I shook off the depressing thoughts of my own inadequacy and looked down at my schedule again with a frown. The tour I'd taken was doing me no good at all. Everything looked completely different now, crammed full of students and teachers. I'd managed, through sheer luck, to locate and make it to my first two classes on time but now my good fortune seemed to have run out. I'd misunderstand the directions a harried teacher had barked at me, and if I was reading the poorly printed map of the school right, I was in the wrong wing entirely.

By the time I'd corrected my mistake and made it to the room where my Life Science class was held, the bell had rung three minutes ago. I just hoped the teacher would go easy on the new girl.

When I opened the door, every head turned around to look at me, and I could feel myself turning crimson. I tried to ignore my classmates' stares, turning to seek out the instructor, a tall, sour-faced man with a stringy comb over.

"Who are you?" He snapped, looking down at the notebook he held in his hand.

"Elisa Cullen." I was thankful I didn't stammer.

"Cullen..." His face wrinkled as he seemed to try to place the name, and then his lip curled. "Oh yes. The doctor's daughter."

"Niece." I corrected, still standing with my back pressed against the classroom door.

The look he gave me clearly stated he didn't care if I was Carlisle's dog. "Just take your seat, Ms. Cullen."

Impatiently, he gestured towards the middle of the room. Belatedly, I realized that my classmates were all seated at shiny, two-person black topped tables, and there was only one available seat left for me to take.

My heart skipped a beat as I saw who occupied the other side of the table. It was the blond boy I'd seen at the principal's office after my tour the other day, the one I'd pointed out to Bella. Sweet. This class may not be so bad after all.

I took my seat, my spirits rising despite the annoyed frown on the teacher's face. He turned his attention back to the book he held.

I turned, smiling brightly, to greet the boy. "Hi." I whispered.

My smile faded instantly at the look on his face. He was glaring at me, even more heatedly then the teacher had, as if I'd insulted him and ruined his day by daring to sit next to him. I blinked in surprise, taken aback by the open hostility. My first instinct was to flush and turn away, but as he continued to glower, irritation began to burn inside of me. I stared back at him until he rolled his startling blue eyes and turned back towards the front of the room.

I took out my notebook and pen and slapped them on the table a bit harder than necessary. To think just a second ago I'd been happy to be seated near him. What a jerk. Like I really needed this on my first day. What was his problem, anyway?

I fumed over it while the teacher continued calling roll and then an odd feeling of deja vu swept over me. This was...familiar. Really familiar. I pondered it for a moment and then an unwitting, nearly silent chuckle burst from me. Of course! This was just like something I hadn't thought about in months and months...the day Bella and Edward first met.

I chewed idly on the tip of my pen as I tried to recall the details. As far as I could recall, it had been a scenario much like this one, only Edward had been glaring at Bella because he was so unnerved by the fact that he wanted to eat her. I snuck another surreptitious glance at the boy next to me, wondering if there was any possibility of him suppressing cannibalistic desires of his own. The thought made me smirk and apparently, he noticed, for his head turned towards me slightly again.

I looked away quickly but out of the corner of my eye I could see the near furious look he was giving me. I had to bite down on my lip to keep from giggling. Maybe it was because of the deja vu or maybe it was just because I was teetering on the edge of an emotional apocalypse, but the whole thing was starting to seem rather funny.

I snuck another sideways peek at him. For a moment I ignored his scowl, admiring his unusually blue eyes, wondering what they'd look like crinkled in laughter. His skin was oddly tanned too; strange in these parts, where the sun didn't shine often enough to make someone look as surfer boy as he did. He would have fit in perfectly back in my old high school. Here, he was somewhat of an anomaly.

"Rafferty, James?" The teacher was barking now, catching my attention.

"Present." My seatmate spoke, his tone bored.

James? His name was James? Seriously? I couldn't help it - I started to giggle again. It wasn't even that funny - it's not as if James was a particularly unusual name but the more I tried not to laugh at the coincidence the more I wanted to. I ended up opening my notebook and using it to shield my face, sure that my new crankmeister of a teacher would not take kindly to my sudden fit of hysteria. Luckily, I managed to keep the volume to a minimum so no one noticed.

Well, almost no one. James was giving me yet another frigid glance and I had to put my hand over my mouth to suppress my snickers. His eyes narrowed and if possible, became even colder.

I took several deep breaths and forced myself to keep looking towards the front of the room, trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying. As I watched, the man took a piece of chalk from the frame below the chalkboard and wrote 'Mr. B' in giant script across its dark green surface. Before I could wonder what the B stood for he turned and faced us with a look of long suffering resignation.

"Welcome to Life Science. I am your teacher, Mr. B. My actual surname is Baucienega, but as I have no wish to listen to my proud family moniker be mangled by the tongues of you intellectual lightweights, you will refer to me with the initial. Understood?"

I rolled my eyes. Why did there always have to be one mean, job hating, student loathing teacher in the bunch? At least I had him early in the day and could get the scheduled misery over with. Between Mr. B and James, I could predict that third period was going to be like a daily trip to the dentist, but without the fun of laughing gas.

Thinking about James had me looking back over at him before I could stop myself. Yep, he was still giving me the thousand-yard glare. I choked back a laugh and snatched my notebook back up as camouflage once more. The expression on his face at that was priceless. I hoped he'd give more dirty looks - watching him get madder and madder as I refused to cower before him was probably going to be the most fun I'd have all day.

James apparently had had enough. He leaned towards me, under the cover of my notebook.

"What is your deal?" His whisper was scornful.

I gave him a frigid stare of my own. "What's my deal? What's yours?" I whispered back. "You're the one who's glaring at me like I ran over your grandma - clearly, I am not the only person at this table with issues."

He looked startled, and just for a second I was certain I saw his lips twitch, like he wanted to laugh.

"I was trying to be intimidating." He informed me loftily, face cold again, and I decided I'd imagined it.

I rolled my eyes. "Really? Well, I'm trying to be annoying. Take a wild guess at which one of us is going to be more successful."

His lips started to form what I was sure would have been a fascinating retort but just then Mr. B, who had come over unnoticed by either of us, slammed his roll book down on our table, making us jump.

"What do we have here, Elisa? James? Are we making a love connection?" He traced a sardonic heart in the air with his fingers.

Laughter rolled quietly around the room at his words and I turned scarlet. James merely looked extremely angry.

Mr. B, on the other hand, was clearly enjoying what was possibly his first public humiliation of a student this school year. "As happy as we all are for the two of you and your budding relationship, you are disrupting my class. Keep it up and I'll make sure you both get to spend plenty of time together…in detention!"

With that, he turned and strode back to the front of the room, looking very satisfied with himself.

I didn't dare look at James for the rest of the lesson. Mr. B droned on, boring us all stupid, and then proved his total Snapeness by assigning us a stack of first day homework. The bell rang amidst the disgruntled murmurs, and all of us rose and rushed gratefully to the door. I tried to catch James' eye as we both squeezed out the doorway but he didn't look at me. So much for hoping that our shared embarrassment would be a bonding experience.

I was too rushed, trying to find the rest of my classes, to think about James again until lunchtime. Out of all the mini ordeals I'd suffered throughout the day, that had to be the worst, walking into the cafeteria knowing absolutely no one and having no idea where to sit. Once again, I missed my old friends fiercely as I stood awkwardly, holding my lunch bag and trying to be subtle about sizing up the different groups. Where did I fit now?

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a table full of girls eyeing me speculatively. I recognized several faces from various classes. More than that, I recognized the type. They were all dressed in the latest fashion, looking deceptively casual as they leaned into each other, talking in whispers and sizing other students up as they walked by. This was the group where cheerleaders were spawned and prom queens were crowned in public opinion long before the actual event.

They were the type of girls that I'd be sitting with if I were back in San Diego, the select few that would end up ruling the school that year and their obedient court. I'd never been the most popular girl in school but being part of the crowd that hung on her periphery, whoever she may be, was very familiar to me. I'd been a wanna be, I realized now with a pang. It was only those last few months in San Diego that I'd stopped caring about fitting in, and ironically enough, that was when Vanessa, the undisputed queen of my school, had taken me under her wing.

None of these girls looked like a Vanessa, who had defied every single stereotype of the typical high school mean girl, but the way they were staring at me was clearly an invitation. They recognized their own in me, it seemed, and I could walk over and join them at any point.

I almost did it. It would have been so comforting to fall back into old routines, but my life was different now and the old me was long gone. This crowd was the crowd that would get all the attention. I couldn't afford that. I didn't need Carlisle to show up and point out the hazards of being in the spotlight, a spotlight that might turn to my new family next. No, I needed to be anonymous, average, just another face in the crowd.

I sighed as I looked down at my outfit, one of the many eye-catching pieces that Alice had picked out for me. If I wanted to be anonymous, I might have to dress down a little. How sad.

Ignoring the piercing stares of the girls across the cafeteria, I sought out an empty corner of a long table and resigned myself to being a social pariah. Lunch dragged on, lonely and depressing. I was almost eager to get back to class, a disgusting turn of events. I couldn't go on like this every day. It just was not going to work. Maybe I wouldn't be aspiring to be head cheerleader anymore, but I was still going to need friends. Sitting alone and brooding every day might attract its own brand of unwanted attention anyway.

I let my eyes tour the cafeteria, looking for potential friend possibilities and my eyes lit on James, sitting two tables away. He was with a girl who was dressed all in black, complete with blood red lipstick and multiple piercings. Way to live the Goth stereotype, I thought to myself bitterly as I saw them put their heads together and start laughing over some private joke. I wondered what he saw in her. After all, he was pretty much dressed like any other boy in the school in his jeans and hooded blue sweatshirt. I never would have guessed him for one with a black leather fetish.

Despite my jealous internal sniping, I had to admit the girl he was with was extremely pretty underneath the heavy eyeliner. I wondered if she was his girlfriend and found myself extremely depressed by the thought. Not that I should have cared - he'd been nothing but a total jerk to me. Still, I did, and I might as well be honest with myself about the reason why. The boy was hot and he had that whole angsty, rebel boy thing working for him. I was so shallow.

The bell rang, signaling the end of the torturous lunch period and gratefully, I pulled out my schedule once more.

The rest of the afternoon, in stark comparison to the morning rush, crawled by. It seemed like I was getting one of my wishes from last night already - school sucked. I couldn't believe I had nine months of this to endure. Just one more reason to never, ever want to be a vampire. Going through four years of high school hell was enough - I couldn't imagine having to repeat the experience every few years.

I was immensely relieved to be able to attend my final class of the day, English 10A. I was even more relieved when I walked in to find that the teacher was a friendly bear of a man who had given my lost self directions several times earlier that day. He recognized me too and beamed as he waved me inside.

"I wondered if you'd show up in one of my classes today." He grinned and waved an enormous hand at the still mostly empty classroom. "I'm Mr. Thornhill. Take a seat anywhere."

He raised his voice at the other students weaving their way through the desks. "All of you settle in - I'm going to check for stragglers and lost souls." With that, he lumbered out the door.

I went to find my seat and froze as I saw James sitting towards the back. He saw me at the same time I saw him, and irritation crossed his face. Pointedly, he looked at an empty desk at the other side of the room. I followed his gaze and took a step in that direction, then deliberately turned around, stepped forward, and dropped my book bag on the desk next to his.

"What are you doing?" He snapped.

"Oh, James." I adopted a syrupy tone. "I couldn't possibly stay away. Your icy disdain is like a drug to me." With a dramatic sigh I slid into my seat and turned to bat my eyes at him.

His mouth definitely twitched that time before his face smoothed into cold lines once more. "You weren't kidding about that whole being annoying bit, were you?"

"It's a gift." I shrugged as I dug my binder out of my bag. "Besides, I saw that almost smile. You can't fool me - there's a sense of humor hidden somewhere underneath that surly demeanor."

He couldn't seem to help smiling that time, but I could tell it bothered him, giving me that small victory. I smiled widely back at him, my mind made up. James intrigued me. Whether it was his general hotness, his dreamy Newfoundlander accent, or something else entirely I wasn't sure yet, but I wanted to know him better. Therefore, I was throwing down the gauntlet and letting my interest in him be known. Let him make of it whatever he wanted. Either we'd be friends by the end of this class or we'd be enemies. I could deal with it either way - it was better than spending months mooning over him in silence.

Mr. Thornhill returned with several more students in tow, and any progression towards our inevitable bestest friends/mortal enemies future had to be halted as class began.

English 10A wasn't nearly as hard to sit through as most of my classes. Mr. Thornhill, it turned out, possessed his own abundant sense of humor, making class much more interesting. Plus, James's close presence and the confused looks he kept sending me were enough to lighten my mood considerably.

There was less than twenty minutes to go when there was a knock on the door and a skinny, gray haired woman stuck her head in. I recognized her vaguely - she was another teacher for some subject I didn't have.

"Dan..." She said to Mr. Thornhill, her voice aggravated. "There's a fight going on right outside my classroom. Would you mind - "

"Oh, of course." Mr. Thornhill turned to us. "I'll be right back. I expect you all to remain in this classroom and quiet while I'm gone."

As if. The second he was gone, the class broke into excited chatter and half the students jumped up and made their way toward the windows, hoping to see the fight for themselves. I immediately vowed to myself to never ever tell Carlisle and Esme that there had been a fight bad enough that teachers had to break it up on my first day of school. I had a feeling if they heard about this, I'd find myself appropriately uniformed and imprisoned behind the wrought iron gates of St. Agatha's before I knew what hit me.

James did not join the crowd at the window. I turned to him, determined to make the most of this golden opportunity.

"Where did you get that tan?" I asked him the first thing that popped into my mind.

He looked at me for a long moment, as if deciding whether to answer or not, before he spoke. "I spent the summer with my aunt in Venice Beach."

"Venice Beach?" My voice was surprised.

"Yeah. As in California. Ever been?" His voice was mildly derisive but that wasn't what caused the unexpected pain to shoot through me.

"Yes, I've been there." My voice was flat now as I remembered. Venice Beach. California. San Diego. His words were a harsh reminder that they all still existed in this world but everything that I had known and loved there was gone. For all I cared, the whole of southern California could just fall right off the map.

I didn't feel like talking to him anymore. In fact, I was instantly sick of his whole crappy attitude. My friends or enemies plan now seemed like a stupid idea. I just wanted to go home, pull the covers over my head, and indulge in some more strenuous forgetting.

"Are you OK?" I was startled by the tone of actual concern in his voice. I turned to see him looking at me, his brow furrowed.

"Fine." I still couldn't inject any life into my voice. I turned away from him and stared out the window at the cloudy sky outside.

James didn't try to talk to me again, and I let my thoughts drift into pleasant, undemanding daydreams. In the background, the noise of the classroom became steadily louder, evolving into occasional shouts and roars of laughter, but I barely noticed anything until suddenly, something slammed onto my desk, making me jump.

I looked down to see a leather bound book - no, a journal, perhaps, that someone had apparently thrown my way for reasons I couldn't imagine. Confused, I reached out and picked it up.

"Hey, throw it over here!"

I looked up to see a tall, jock type calling out to me. He was standing near the front of the room, surrounded by a ring of friends. His hands were outstretched. I gave him a bewildered look and he grinned at me. "Come on, cupcake. Toss it my way."

Before I could tell Jock Boy what I thought of him calling me cupcake, someone hurtled into him, slamming him against the wall. I gasped as I saw it was James. His eyes were flashing furiously and the jock's friends, who'd been laughing, went instantly silent.

It took a couple more seconds for me to understand but then it clicked. The journal belonged to James. The others, in typical bully fashion, had taken it from him and were amusing themselves by tossing it back and forth across the room out of his reach. The difference in this little scenario is that James apparently wasn't good at playing the role of victim. He was still holding the other guy against the wall, despite the fact that he had to be twice James' size.

The rest of the class was acting oddly as well. Instead of cheering on the conflict like they had the earlier fight, they'd all gone very quiet. Almost to a one, they were frozen in place as if a potentially deadly animal had been uncaged in the room. I thought back to the first day I'd seen James, and the principal's warning to him, and this suddenly made sense too. James clearly had a reputation - a scary one.

The jock's face was nearly purple, whether from embarrassment or anger I didn't know, but he lashed back now, knocking James away from him and into the first row of desks. James was back on his feet in an instant, his eyes flashing dangerously and the two of them circled each other.

"You are so dead, you psycho f- " Before the other boy could finish his sentence James shoved him backwards. I'd had enough. I jumped to my feet, still holding the journal, and dashed forward, grabbing James's arm and pulling him back as the other boy made another lunge for him.

James gave me a blazing look as the jock's friends, seeing an opening, leapt forward and grabbed their friend, pulling him back as well. He resisted just as much as James did, giving me a murderous look.

"You don't want to get into the middle of this, blondie. I've owed Poetry Boy here a solid ass kicking for a long time." Again, he tried to push his friends off of him.

"Shut up." I snapped and turned to James, who had shaken off my restraining hand and looked like he was about to start the fight all over again. "James, I have your book. Come sit down."

James ignored me, his eyes still locked on his enemy. I sighed in exasperation and leaned forward, lowering my voice. "I heard what the principal said to you the other day. If you get into another fight, you're going to get expelled, aren't you? Come on, he's not worth it!" I gave his arm another tug and this time, he went with me, betraying reluctance in every step.

"Thornhill's coming back." Another boy, who was standing near the door, said abruptly. There was an immediate rush to get back into the seats.

"Elisa." James hissed to me as we sat down. "Can I have my book back, please?" His voice was impatient.

I looked down at it. "Did he call you poetry boy?" I asked as I handed it to him.

James looked upset that I had picked up on that. "Yeah. I write. So what?" He took the journal from me.

He wrote? Poetry? Could it be...a boy that was both pretty and deep? OK, I was definitely riding the train into Crushville now and despite my misgivings, it was with no small amount of relief. Goodbye, Edward. So long, Jacob Black. It was about damn time I got to crush on someone who hadn't been branded by Bella first.

Before I had time to contemplate the ramifications of my brand spanking new crush, Mr. Thornhill walked back into the room. He surveyed all of us for several long seconds as we stared back at him, and his mouth quirked. "Dead giveaway, guys. You're all far too quiet. Whatever you all got up to while I was gone, I never want to know about. Unless it involved superglueing my seat." He took a cautious peek at the chair behind his desk and we all laughed.

The bell rang then, and I got up, shoving my books in my backpack and savoring the first few seconds of freedom.

"Hey."

I looked up in surprise to see James standing in front of me. "Did you want something, James?" I asked as I fastened the bag's clasp.

"Everyone calls me Jimmy." He corrected. "And...I wanted to say thank you."

"Oh." I smiled. "You're welcome. Jimmy."

He smiled back just slightly, and headed towards the door. Just as he reached the doorway, he looked back. "Elisa?"

"Yeah?" I asked, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"If I'm late to third period tomorrow, save me a seat, OK?" He flashed me a far wider grin this time, and then walked off.

Score! My own answering grin was smug as I headed out the door. So...friends it was.

I had a feeling it was going to be a very interesting year.

--

Again, thank you all so much for reading. The next chapter, Nineteen, returns to the Elisa/Bella/Edward POV formula, and it's one I've been building up to for a long time. If you've been reading Evening Falls for a while, it's one you definitely shouldn't miss. I'd sneak peek it here, but I'm afraid I'll give too much away. I may change my mind later though, so you might want to check back in a couple of days and see if I've added it.