"Pardon?"
"When do you plan on marrying Sakura?"
Itachi blinked away the surprise, but the befuddlement was still inhibiting his ability to form words. Had his brother really just asked him when he was going to marry Sakura?
It wasn't easy to catch Itachi off guard, but he had to hand it to his brother. He was pretty good at doing it.
"We haven't discussed anything like that, Sasuke," Itachi said, suddenly very nervous. Granted, he couldn't imagine anyone other than Sakura being his future wife, but it seemed highly inappropriate to talk about such a thing while he couldn't even kiss her without feeling like he was going to have a heart attack.
"Well, you should," Sasuke said. "How do you expect to rebuild the clan without a wife?"
"It's none of your concern, Sasuke."
Itachi stood up from the kitchen table and turned to leave. It was too early in the morning to be dealing with Sasuke's antics already. But he felt Sasuke's fingers curl around his elbow and yank him roughly back down to his chair.
"It is my concern," he said.
"Then why don't you get married and have children?" Itachi demanded, shrugging his arm free from his brother's grasp. "I'll even defer my status as clan head to you, if that's what you want."
Sasuke's skin flushed and Itachi watched him swallow a lump in his throat. Itachi was well aware that Sasuke's secret relationship with Naruto would never produce him any children. Itachi didn't care about that in the slightest. Whatever made his brother happy was what he wanted for him.
So he knew that Sasuke would refuse to accept the position as clan head.
"It's your rightful position, Itachi," Sasuke said, some of the gruff from his tone missing now.
"It is," Itachi agreed. "Which means that the matter of when I get married and when I have children is solely up to me. If you decide that I am taking too long, you are free to take matters into your own hands. I will gladly give you the position if that time comes."
"But Itachi—"
"Enough, Sasuke," he said firmly. "The only person I will ever be discussing that with is Sakura. Do not bring it up again."
Itachi began to clear their breakfast from the table, ignoring Sasuke's not-so-subtle pouting. It shouldn't have come to him as a surprise that Sasuke was so interested in the restoration of the clan. Itachi wanted that, too.
But it was certainly not a decision to be rushed. Itachi was still young. There was plenty of time to have children in the future.
Sasuke remained at the table while Itachi washed the dishes, watching but saying nothing. Itachi didn't want his brother to be upset with him, and certainly not over something like this. The sensation was vaguely familiar – that he was disappointing Sasuke by ignoring him.
Itachi was well within his rights to refuse to discuss something to personal with him, especially something that should definitely have been discussed with Sakura first. Probably only with Sakura. But Sasuke's concern wasn't exactly unwanted and Itachi didn't like to tell him no.
"Sasuke," Itachi said, drying his hands off with a towel. Sasuke looked up at him. "Do you remember Kabuto?"
Sasuke looked surprised by the mention to the bespectacled medic-nin. "Of course. Why?"
"You are more familiar with him than I am," Itachi said. "Do you think he poses a threat to Konoha?"
Sasuke drummed his fingers on the table. "He only ever seemed interested in serving Orochimaru. I'm not sure what he's been up to since I killed him."
Itachi joined Sasuke back at the table, pulling up the chair across from him. "I tracked him down after he approached Sakura in Toyeiki. I found him in a bunker south of here. It looked like he was continuing Orochimaru's work with human experimentation."
"That's not surprising."
"I think we should ask Tsunade-sama if we can check up on him," Itachi suggested. "The fact that he was trying to create a biological weapon to be used against shinobi is very concerning."
"A mission, you mean?"
"Yeah, a mission," Itachi said. "For the two of us."
Sasuke grinned and Itachi felt a little of his guilt dissipate.
.
"I approve," Tsunade said. "You may leave at your leisure."
Itachi and Sasuke both nodded. A mission with Sasuke was exactly what Itachi needed to get his mind off Sakura and get rid of some of the weirdness between him and Sasuke.
Sasuke had always wanted to tag along with him on missions when they had been younger. Now was a perfect opportunity to bond with him like he had always wanted to when they were children.
"Take Sakura, too," Tsunade added.
"Pardon, Tsunade-sama?" Itachi said.
"Sakura has a vested interest in this mission," she answered. "She'll be able to decipher whatever Kabuto has been up to better than the two of you could. She might even be able to help you with a bit of espionage if she pretends to be accepting his offer."
Itachi drew in a deep breath. Of course he couldn't argue with the Hokage. Her points were valid. But the last thing he wanted was to take Sakura on this mission with him. He couldn't even imagine how uncomfortable it would be for the three of them to spend a length of time in close quarters together.
"Forgive me, Tsunade-sama, but Sakura will slow us down," Itachi said. "She doesn't have the speed that Sasuke and I do."
"Your mission isn't that urgent."
Itachi glanced over at Sasuke, who was grinning. He narrowed his eyes at him, suspecting the worst.
"You're both dismissed."
.
"Why are you so happy about it?" Itachi asked Sasuke. After leaving the Hokage tower they had both headed for the training grounds for another spar. This time, Itachi had chosen not to use his Mangekyou. They had opted to only use taijutsu, in fact, and with Itachi's strength mostly back, he was able to beat Sasuke.
It was a narrowly eked victory, though, Itachi admitted to himself. Sasuke's speed made it very difficult to land direct hits on him and he had to resort to trickery in order to defeat him.
On their way to Ichiraku's afterwards, Sasuke had brought up the fact that Sakura would be going on their mission with him. He seemed far too delighted by it.
"No particular reason," Sasuke answered, munching his food with an open mouth. It reminded Itachi of the way Yamato and Sachi ate. "I just want you to be happy and I know being around Sakura makes you happy."
Itachi rolled his eyes. "I know you aren't that altruistic."
"I'll be sure to give the two of you lots of privacy," Sasuke said with a teasing tone, though Itachi knew he was probably serious.
"You're incorrigible."
Sasuke grinned, but Itachi felt dread brewing in his stomach. He had already begun to feel strange about the blossoming romance between him and Sakura. He couldn't quite place why it made him feel so nervous when she seemed perfectly at ease with him. It was disheartening because he did like her, and he also wanted to push her away.
He realized that it was his lack of control in the situation that made him feel so uneasy. It shouldn't have been a problem. Itachi had lacked control in a lot of things. He did what he could to steer things in his favor. But when it came to Sakura, she did the steering.
The idea of being in her control wasn't really the worst thing he could think of. He almost savored it. Sure, being in someone else's control was dangerous. What if he fell in love with her? She could easily destroy him. But he had a good feeling about her.
He would have to learn to trust her, though.
"Don't look so upset, Itachi," Sasuke said. "It won't be that bad. What are you so worried about?"
Itachi glanced at his brother and saw that he did actually looked concerned now. He wondered what Sasuke's relationship with Naruto was like. Did he ever feel like this? Hopeless and out of control?
Maybe Sasuke had some insight into romance that Itachi could use.
"Have you ever been in love, Sasuke?"
Sasuke blinked as he swallowed a bite of his food. The tense silence that followed was thick, but not unbearable. Itachi genuinely wanted to know and he knew that Sasuke knew that.
"Are you in love with Sakura?" Sasuke asked.
"I don't think so," Itachi said, but he knew it was only a matter of time. He didn't really stand a chance against her. "Not yet, anyway."
"Is that what you're worried about?"
"She intimidates me."
"She intimidates you?" Sasuke laughed.
"Naruto doesn't intimidate you?" Itachi asked. "Not even a little?"
Sasuke closed his mouth immediately and Itachi was amused to see a faint blush on his cheeks. "No, he doesn't."
Itachi didn't pry anymore, even though he was deeply curious. Sasuke might not mind invading Itachi's privacy, but Itachi didn't want to upset Sasuke. If he ever wanted to share details about his relationship with Naruto, he would.
"Why does she intimidate you?" Sasuke asked.
Itachi didn't know how to answer that. Well, he did, but he didn't feel comfortable talking about it with his brother. There were a lot of things about Sakura that were impressive, but none of those were what intimidated him so much. He was intimidated by the physical nature of their relationship and his lack of experience in that area. He wasn't used to lacking experience.
And though he knew that she was also lacking in that experience, she seemed to be much more confident at trying her hand at it. She could flutter her lashes and have him in the palm of her hand.
"I don't know."
Sasuke gave him a disapproving look. "Maybe you should be having this conversation with Sakura," he suggested.
Itachi returned his brother's disapproving look, not amused by the suggestion. So far his brother didn't seem to have any valuable advice.
"Have you had sex with her yet?"
Itachi tried not to flinch. He wasn't a prude (or maybe he was, and that was what the issue with Sakura was), but he certainly didn't want to talk about sex with his little brother.
"Don't you think it's a little soon for that?" he asked.
"God, you and Sakura are cut from the same cloth, aren't you?" Sasuke asked. "It's not too soon for something if you both want it."
"Why were you talking to Sakura about sex?" Itachi demanded, more than a little annoyed with his brother.
"Not sex. Marriage. And children."
"Why were you talking to her about something like that?" Itachi asked angrily.
"For the same reason I was talking to you about it, obviously."
Itachi pressed his lips together in an effort to keep from snapping at him. It was none of Sasuke's business and he shouldn't have been talking about such things with Sakura without Itachi's knowledge.
But he was still curious.
"What did she say?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "She said—"
"Sasuke!"
Itachi and Sasuke both turned at the sound of Naruto's voice and saw him running toward the ramen stand with Sakura in tow behind him. Sakura sat down next to Itachi and smiled warmly at him, sending a surge of warmth through his chest.
"Hey, Itachi," Naruto said. "Sakura and I just spent some time training with Yamato-chan and he asked about you."
"Yeah," Sakura said, chuckling. "He said he didn't want to waste time training with Naruto when he could be training with the best shinobi in the world."
"Me?" Itachi asked.
"Yeah, well," Naruto said. "I chose not to explain to him that I was the one who made our last mission a success. I didn't want to tear down his hero, you know?"
Sakura shot him a look.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Sasuke said dismissively. "We have a mission."
"A mission?" Naruto asked, and Itachi felt a little pang of guilt in his gut seeing how excited the poor blonde looked.
"Not for you," Sasuke said, but his tone wasn't quite as harsh as Itachi had come to expect from his brother. "It's for us and Sakura."
"Me?" Sakura asked.
"Yeah, we're tracking down Kabuto to see what he's up to," Sasuke answered. "Tsunade said we could use your help."
Sakura frowned. "I have to deal with that asshole again?"
"If you don't want to go I'm sure Tsunade-sama would not mind," Itachi said. "Sasuke and I can handle it on our own."
Sasuke kicked him under the counter.
"No, it's alright," Sakura said. "If I go I can pretend to be accepting his offer. It will make your jobs a lot easier."
"That's exactly what Tsunade said," Sasuke said.
"When do we leave?" she asked.
"Whenever you're ready."
She hummed thoughtfully, tapping her finger on her lips. For a moment, Itachi's eyes were glued to her and he found himself entirely incapable of looking away. There it was again – that lack of control.
"Well, I have some things to do today," she said. "And if I'll be leaving for some time I'll need to get some groceries for Ino. But I suppose we could leave first thing in the morning."
"Sounds like a plan," Sasuke said, leaning back on his stool. He turned to face Naruto and saw him hunched over with his arms crossed. "Don't pout, Naruto. We won't be gone long."
Naruto merely huffed in response.
"I guess I should get going, then," Sakura said, getting to her feet. Itachi let his eyes linger on the expanse of her thighs. He knew he had looked for just a second too long and that she was bound to have noticed. It was the same thing she had slapped him for in this very ramen stand just over a month ago.
"Why don't you go with her, Itachi," said Sasuke. Itachi didn't need to look at him to know he was smirking.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "Yes, the company would be nice."
She was smiling at him expectantly and even though he wanted to, he wouldn't have considered saying no to her.
"Okay."
Her smile widened and she took a hold of his hand and pulled him off his stool.
.
Grocery shopping with Sakura was a lot more appealing than it sounded. Sakura was from the civilian district, so almost everyone seemed to know her. They waved and smiled at her as they passed, sometimes even stopping her for chitchat. Itachi usually avoided the civilian district because it was where he received the coldest stares for his forgiven, but not forgotten crimes.
But with Sakura beside him, it felt much warmer. They hardly paid any attention to him at all.
Which gave him plenty of opportunities to watch her. She seemed to be very in her element here, flitting between the market stalls, chatting with the shopkeepers. It was even harder to keep his eyes off her than normal.
When she had a full sack of produce in one hand, they began walking back toward the center of the market (for milk, she had said). Their arms were nearly touching and Itachi considered reaching out to grab her hand and entwine their fingers together. That was something he could handle. Handholding in a public place was far more manageable than making out in her bedroom.
But just when he'd gathered the courage to touch her slender fingers with his, she turned toward him, shoving the produce into his arms.
"Will you hold this for a second?" she asked. "I'll be right back."
Again, it did not cross his mind to say no to her, so he watched her disappear behind a stall around the corner. He felt quite awkward standing in the middle of the market stalls by himself. He shifted the bag of produce in his arms and waited, pretending that he didn't notice the stares and whispers of the civilians who had more courage to single him out now that Sakura was no longer with him.
Luckily, she did not keep him waiting for long. When she came back around the corner, she was smiling brightly with two sticks of dango in her hands.
"Here you go," she said cheerily, extending one of the sticks toward him.
He accepted it with caution, because a pretty girl handing him one of his favorite snacks almost seemed like a trap.
"Sasuke told me it's your favorite," she said, taking back the bag of produce from him. "And this place makes the best dango in Konoha."
"Thank you," he said quietly.
They fell into step again and it was too late to hold her hand now that she had the bag of produce in one and the stick of dango in the other. The normalcy of their current situation struck an odd chord in Itachi's heart. It was such a mundane thing – grocery shopping. Was it normal to feel so high, so infinite while doing something so essentially boring?
They finished their dango as they walked and then Sakura purchased her carton of milk. They were finished with their shopping, according to Sakura, but she stopped at several more stalls on their way out, admiring trinkets and sundries but purchasing nothing else.
A group of loud children ran through the street and Itachi pulled Sakura gently out of the way before they could crash into her. She was a kunoichi, and he knew that she didn't need his help to avoid a couple of civilian children, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to touch her.
She didn't seem to mind and smiled up at him in a disarmingly charming way. "Thank you," she said, and before he could stop himself, he leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.
"You're welcome," he said with a smile of his own.
She seemed surprised by the kiss, but his heart soared when her smile widened into something genuinely happy and amused.
He walked her home, listening to her chatter away about her shifts at the hospital and her mini training session with Yamato and Naruto earlier that day. When crowds of people longer surrounded them and the sun had just begun to dip below the horizon, Itachi found the courage to reach out and take her hand.
She seemed surprised again, but she immediately interlaced their fingers and moved closer to him as they walked. Itachi had never held hands with a girl before, and he wasn't exactly sure if this was how it always went, but Sakura pressed very close to him, nearly curling her body around the length of his arm. He had no idea that something as inherently innocent as handholding could feel so intimate.
It struck him again that there was something that she wanted from him that he wasn't able to give her. These issues he had with intimacy were not her problems and he felt a surge of guilt for having to deny her something that she wanted.
"Sakura," he began as they approached her front door.
She fumbled with her keys for a minute before finding the right one and sliding it into the lock. He took the parcels from her arms so that she could open the door and helped her carry them inside.
There were many things he wanted to tell her, and he was aware that it was more out of a desire to assuage his own guilt than for her. She didn't seem even slightly upset by anything right now. He watched her unpack her purchases and hum lightly to herself.
She caught his eye for a moment and grinned before looking away. "Would you like some tea?" she asked.
He knew what Sakura wanted. She was always pressing their physical limits. She wanted sex. But what if that was all she wanted? What if she didn't want a relationship or even a friendship? Would he be able to give her that? The one thing he could admit he was afraid of?
"You're awfully quiet today, Itachi," she mused, still humming, still flitting around her kitchen like a hummingbird.
He grabbed her hand just as she was reaching for the pantry door and jerked her roughly toward him. He didn't know why he was so rough and the look of confusion and annoyance that flashed across Sakura's face slammed him back down to reality.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked, and her tone wasn't as harsh as Itachi thought it should have been. Her eyes were bright and a little angry as they glared up into his and for a reason unknown to him he felt to urge to activate his Sharingan.
"Tell me what you want, Sakura," he said, surprised by the demanding quality to his voice.
"Pardon?"
"From me," he clarified. "What do you want from me?"
She tugged her arm away from him, but he held onto it.
"Why are you asking me that?"
He let go of her arm because there was a sudden look of fear and anxiety on her face that made him feel uncomfortable. But as soon as he let her go she was grabbing onto his arm and guiding him toward the kitchen table.
"Itachi, what's wrong?"
He felt a surge of warmth in his chest, amazed that she would be concerned for him while he was acting so churlish.
But he also wanted her to answer the question.
"I have a duty to my clan, Sakura," he began and his nerves made his skin feel prickly. "I will have to produce an heir. I'll have to marry the next Uchiha matriarch."
She looked down at her feet with a pained expression. But then something in her face hardened and she looked back up at him with blazing eyes.
"Sasuke brought that up as well," she said and it made Itachi a little angry that she didn't appear to be nervous about talking about such a thing. How could she be so calm and collected while he was a quivering mess?
"I told him not to speak to you about it anymore," he said as calmly as he could manage.
She shrugged, but he noticed that whatever resolve she had just found couldn't mask the sadness that flickered in her eyes. "Well, I understand," she said. "I'm civilian born I don't know anything about what it means to be part of a clan."
"What?" he asked, dumfounded. There seemed to be an odd buzzing in his head.
"I can't expect you to put aside your clan duties for me," she said and the more she spoke the more confused he became.
Itachi felt himself reeling, completely unable to form thoughts, let alone words.
She was blushing furiously and twisting her hands together in her lap. "I really do like you, though," she said, and damn, she looked so sad it broke his heart. "I guess I was just hoping that you'd, I don't know, want to be with me until you found someone else suitable for being your wife."
It was like all of the breath had been sucked from his body. Never in a million years had he thought she would feel that way. A horrifying lack of communication was to blame for this, he realized, and he felt a strange wistfulness wondering what might have happened if he'd been more up front with her from the beginning.
"Sakura, I don't need anyone's approval to marry someone," he said, a little more sure of himself than he was a few moments ago. "And not that it matters, but you have Sasuke's approval."
She looked up at him through her lashes and he couldn't help but smile because it was nice to have their roles reversed and for her to be the nervous one. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he held up a hand to stop her.
"I like you, too," he continued. "And I do want to be with you - not just until someone better comes along."
She looked genuinely surprised and he wondered what was going on in her head. Was she imagining what it would be like to be his wife? But he remembered what Sasuke had said – that Sakura felt it was too soon to be talking about marriage or children. And of course he agreed with her.
"Sakura, why didn't you say anything about that before?" he asked.
She still looked nervous, and even though he knew how uncomfortable that felt, he couldn't help but feel a little vindicated by it. "You said you wanted to take things slow," she said. "And I didn't know what you wanted from me. I didn't want to press the issue because I would have been happy with whatever you wanted."
He laughed at her absurdity, provoking a heated glare from her. "Really?" he asked. "You would have been happy if I just had a careless fling with you and then married some random clan girl?"
"Well, if that was my only option…"
He laughed again. "You were saving your first kiss for Sasuke so that it would be special and you'd be willing to sleep with me even if you knew I was just using you."
She crossed her arms and glared at him, but he was far too amused with her to be chided by it. "You started it, you know," she said. "With all the looks and the touching. You gave me urges."
He was taken aback by her frankness and gave her a not-so-subtle once over.
"You're such a tease, Itachi," she said, sidling up next to him until he could feel her breath on his face. Her closeness was intoxicating – he could feel the heat from her body. "You wanted to take things slow, but I believe we just had a discussion about whether or not I'd be a suitable matriarch for your clan."
"You brought that up," he pointed out.
She promptly ignored him. "I want to know why you seem so opposed to being physical with me."
He reached out and latched his fingers around her neck, gently brushing across her pulse point with the pad of his thumb. She was took a step forward, forcing Itachi to sit down in the chair behind him. She hovered over his chair and it would be easy to pull her down and have her wrap her beautifully long legs around his waist.
"I'm not opposed to that," he said, trying his best to mean it.
She bent down and pressed a kiss to his mouth. She tasted sweet like dango. He reached up and cupped her cheek, marveling in the smoothness of her skin and the sinful way she moved her lips against his.
She would be the death of him.