Chapter 48: Caught In the Act
[Scene: Kunzite stares at Chief Midori. Who is standing gape mouthed in the doorway of Zoi's bedroom.]
[Chief Midori stares at Kunzite lying, presumable naked, in Zoi's bed with a presumably equally naked Zoi trying to hide under the covers, and then backs away and flees.
[Kunzite smiles]
Kunzite: He handled that a lot better than I thought he would.
[Zoi peeks out from under the covers and Kunzite pulls Zoi close]
Kunzite : Now where were we?
Zoi: [struggles out of his grasp] Kunzite!
Kunzite: What?
Zoi: My father walked in on us! We can't just pick up where we left off!
Kunzite: Why not?
[Zoi gives him a stern look]
Kunzite: Oh right. You want me to close the door first.
[Kunzite raises his hand to close the door using telekinesis, but Chief Midori reappears holding a shotgun.
Zoi: *shrieks and ducks back under the covers*
Kunzite: [moves to shield Zoi] Hey! Be careful where you are pointing that thing!
Chief Midori: [berserker rage] Get the hell away from my son, you pervert!
Zoi: [peeking from behind Kunzite's shoulder] Dad it's ok. This wasn't Kunzite's idea! It was mine. He didn't want to do it at all!
Kunzite: [under his breath] I wouldn't go that far.
Chief Midori: No! It's not ok! You don't get to decide that! You're only fifteen! The age of consent in Washington is sixteen! That makes this guy a class three child rapist!
Kunzite: Not according to my driver's license, which states I'm only eighteen, and therefore sanctioned under the state's "Romeo & Juliet" laws.
Chief Midori: I see you've brushed up on the legalities of screwing my son!
Zoi: Dad! It's ok! I really love him and he really loves me.
Kunzite: Besides. It's perfectly acceptable for us to do this. We're married.
Chief Midori: WHAT!
Zoi: Uh, Kunzite, that's not helping.
Chief Midori: Zoisite! Is this true! Have you actually married this clown!
Kunzite: [to Zoi] Did he just call me a clown?
Zoi: [to Chief Midori] Well… I suppose it's more like we're half-married.
Chief Midori: Then I guess I'll only have to take him outside and beat him half to death!
[While this has been going on, Kunzite been getting increasingly upset, and now he can't contain his rage any more]
Kunzite: Enough of your insolence! [Vanishes in a magenta flash, only to appear fully dressed, complete with his long black coat about a foot from Chief Midori. He yanks the gun from his hand, expels the cartridges and tosses the gun on the floor.] I am Kunzite! First among kings! It is a tremendous honor for you that I have taken your son as my chosen consort!
[Kunzite's eyes go white as he grabs Chief Midori by the throat and forces his gaze upon him]
Kunzite: You're lucky that you contain half the ingredients that make up my beloved, because otherwise you'd be very dead by now. I should drain you of your lifeforce for daring to point that weapon anywhere near him. But instead I will merely enslave you like the insignificant peon that you are! Now get in the kitchen and get me a beer and a sandwich! Then wait outside this door with it until I finish pleasuring your son!
Chief Midori: [bows and speaks robotically] Yes, master.
[Kunzite smiles and turns to get back to bed, only to see Zoi is glaring at Kunzite with his teeth bared.]
Kunzite: What?
Zoi: How dare you!
Kunzite: [sighs] What's wrong?
Zoi: You promised me you wouldn't mess with my dad again!
Kunzite: You actually want him to forbid you from ever seeing me again?
Zoi: No! But I don't want him to be the mindless zombie who makes your sandwiches either!
Kunzite: [sighs again] Very well…So what do you suggest we do instead?
Zoi: [thinks it over for a while] Can't you just use your mind control to make him forget that he ever walked in on us?
Kunzite: [nods] What about yesterday. I could make him forget about the fight you had and his conversation with Mamoru.
Zoi: No. I had that coming. Besides, I don't want him thinking he's losing his mind if Mamoru decides to bring it up again.
Kunzite: Fine. I'll do it. But only under one condition.
Zoi: What's that?
Kunzite: You have to introduce me to your father.
Zoi: He already knows you.
Kunzite: As your boyfriend, I mean.
[Zoi is silent for a while]
Zoi: Is that what you are?
Kunzite: [grins] It's a loose interpretation of the word "boy" I'll admit.
Zoi: I was under the impression we now had something more, actually. [blushes and looks down]
Kunzite: Well, I don't know if we need to give him all the gory details. But he will want some explanation for why I'm around so much. I don't want Chief Midori getting a restraining order put on me.
Zoi: [blushes happily] Will you be around here a lot?
Kunzite: As much as you want me.
Zoi: I'll always want you. Forever.
[Kunzite walks to the bed takes Zoi into his arms and kisses him tenderly.]
[Then backs away and his clothing morphs into dress slacks, a white button down shirt and leather shoes]
Kunzite: Get dressed. I've got to go downstairs to present myself to my new father-in-law.