Disclaimer: I do not own One-Piece nor any of it's characters. Those belong to Oda Eiichiro.

Nunya Bizniz

Chapter Twenty-five: Shopping

The four ships were underway quickly enough. The Kuja Pirates left in quick order, they still had to make sure the government didn't see them on good terms with the Straw Hat crew. It came as a surprise when Shanks and his crew stayed with them. Zoro was the one that asked them the reason, though they were on separate ships they could still talk if they spoke loud enough. Shanks merely shrugged and said, "Something interesting is going to happen around you guys soon. I can just feel it. Okay, that's not wholly true. I'm sure it'll be more the girls fault than anyone elses."

"What makes you say that?" Zoro asked.

"Interesting things always happen around them," Ben answered.

"That's right," Lucky Roo piped up. "Just wait until Rachel says something about crabs, I swear she has the power of divination when she does that."

"What do you mean?" Luffy asked. He was listening from his place on the Sunny.

"Every time Rachel says something in relation to a crab of some sort," Yasopp spoke, "it gets weird around the Nunya. Freak storms, Sea Kings attacking only to flee when the two smile at it or random pirates trying to raid them only to be chased away by 'Bob'. It's quite amusing."

"Who's 'Bob'?" Usopp asked. Chopper was nodding his head, showing that he wanted to know the answer to that as well.

"It's Rachel's secret weapon," Ben said. "A word of advice. You never want to meet 'Bob'."

Rachel and Missy were on the bridge of the Nunya. They couldn't hear the conversation going on below so they remained oblivious. Perhaps it was better that way. "I can't believe it took that long to get going," Missy groaned. "We could have reached Zou by now if we didn't have to cater to Shanks' randomness."

"About that," Rachel cut in. "It appears that his randomness isn't as random as we think it is." She pointed to a spot on the Nunya's deck. Standing by the rail was Rayleigh and Shakky. "They were waiting for someone to arrive."

"Shakky's here?" Missy blinked at the view for a few moments. Either she was trying to comprehend the situation or she was trying to make sure the image was real. It honestly could have been both. "What's she doing here?"

"I guess Rayleigh was under orders," Rachel explained. "He was sent to make sure that you and I were alright. If certain conditioners were or weren't met he had to call Shakky and tell her what was going on. Depending on the answer, she would close the bar for a time and come out here to us. As you can obviously see, she's here. I don't know how long she plans to stay though."

Missy listened carefully to what Rachel said. It was a well known fact that Rachel couldn't lie. Not because she was bad at it, she was just as good as Missy was when the occasion called for it. The reason she couldn't lie was because she had a strict personal honor code. Lying was against the rules, but she didn't say why. Obviously there were circumstances that it would happen, but they were few and far between.

Missy sifted through everything that Rachel had just said. Not a single bit of it had been a lie. There were also no loopholes for Rachel to monopolize. "So she's keeping the reason she's here a secret," Missy deduced. She stared at Rachel for a moment. She didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the two on deck. A serious look was on her face, like she was trying to figure it out herself.

Missy let out a sigh. "I suppose we'll find out in time," she said. "It's going to be a long couple of days. Or however long Shakky plans on staying." She never saw the victorious smirk playing on Rachel's lips. Her misdirection tactics have never been seen through, even by Missy. Which was surprising since Missy was the one that knew her best. She wasn't going to complain though.

It took them two days to reach Zou. Upon stepping onto land Law was immediately bombarded by his crew. Most wanted to know if what the papers had said were true about Dressrosa. Law had to take the time to explain what exactly had happened. During that time, the Straw Hat crew and those on board Nunya began setting up a sort of camp on the beach. It was fun to camp out every now and then. Shanks and his crew were setting up a keg stand. That wasn't too surprising.

Sanji busied himself with the grill while the others went about playing around. Rachel and Missy had set up a couple of lounge chairs and were soaking up the sun. Missy was reading, as usual, while Rachel was watching Luffy, Ace and Sabo wrestling. Usopp and Chopper were acting as referees. The two looked up as shadows loomed over them. Nami, Robin and Shakky were standing there.

"There's a village not too far away," Nami started. "We were going to take a walk over there to see what kind of shops they have. You two should come with us, spend some girl time away from the guys."

Rachel started to get up, having an idea of what was going on. "I'll just stay here," Missy said. "Thanks for the offer, but I prefer to read my book."

Rachel looked at the title she had open. "You prefer to stay and read a book you've read five times already?" she challenged.

"Six, but who's counting." Missy turned a page just then.

Rachel's eyes narrowed and her hand whipped out. The book was yanked from Missy's grasp faster than she could blink. Getting out of Missy's reach, Rachel searched for a reliable accomplice. Finding one, Rachel threw the book towards them. "Rayleigh, don't let Missy get that book." She then turned and faced Missy who was scowling at her. "You are coming with us to town," she ordered. Her hands were on her hips. "We've earned some time away. Besides, how long has it been since we've gone shopping for something other than supplies? Get your butt out of that chair and let's get the leg out. If you don't I'm sure I can convince someone to carry you." She then started to stare at Sanji, who wasn't paying attention.

Missy followed the direction of the stare. Her head whipped back with a more furious glare than before. "You wouldn't dare," she seethed.

"Wouldn't I?" Rachel glared back. She started walking in Sanji's direction. "Hey Sanji," she called out.

Missy jumped to her feet at that. "Fine! I'll go with you guys. Just know that it's under extreme protest."

Sanji had turned at the call of his name. He saw most of the girls standing around, Rachel had been walking his way. When Missy jumped to her feet she stopped. Missy said something he couldn't hear. At the end of it Rachel raised her hand to him with a large smile. "Never mind Sanji," she called out. "It was a false alarm."

Rachel and Missy changed from their swimsuits to street clothes. Missy took her sweet time to the point that Rachel barged into her room, a sundress in her hand. She threw it over Missy's head then dragged her out. She didn't bother checking to see if the dress was on straight or not.

"Where did you get a dress?" Missy asked.

"I borrowed it from Nami," Rachel answered. "Now enough with your olympic grade procrastination. You're seriously starting to piss me off."

It took a half hour for the group of women to reach the village. On the outskirts, the three in charge of the little excursion stopped suddenly. They all turned to face Missy and Rachel. "The next stop is a surprise," Robin said.

Shakky held out a pair of blindfolds. "You'll have to wear these," she smiled.

Rachel took the blindfold and put it on. "Dibs on being led by Robin," she called.

"That's not fair," Missy whined. "I wanted to be led by Robin."

"What's so wrong with being led by myself or Shakky?" Nami asked offended.

"You'll get distracted and run us into a pole," Rachel stated.

"Shakky will run us into a pole for the fun of it," Missy finished.

"It's not that bad," Shakky said. "I only did that once."

"Only because we wouldn't let you blindfold us anymore," Rachel pointed out.

"I promise to make sure you both get there safe," Robin interrupted. Her calming tone stopped anymore arguing from Nami. Once the two were blindfolded they were led through the streets.

The two could hear the chiming of a bell as they entered a store. The smell of new clothes was strong. Rachel felt someone brush past her. She figured that it was either Nami or Shakky. Missy had felt her hand being let go. She stood still, not knowing what was around her. The blindfolds were slipped from both of their faces.

Rachel blinked a few times to get used to the light. She took in the sight that was before her. The five of them had entered a ritzy looking fashion boutique. "What the crab-cakes?" The shift in the air was her only warning. Rachel immediately ducked away from the incoming attack. She didn't see what happened next, but she did hear the sound of something being hit. Rachel stood up straight to see that Nami had been directly in front of her. She was rubbing the back of her head. Nami slowly turned around, a sinister smile on her face. Rachel pointed above her shoulder in the direction Missy should be in. "She did it," she accused. Once that was finished Rachel immediately got out of the line of fire and followed Robin and Shakky further into the store.

"Tell me Missy," Nami started. It caused Missy to take a step back. "What's your favorite color?"

"Um... Purple?"

"Are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling," Missy was glancing around nervously. She had no idea what Nami had planned at this point.

"Then I have the perfect idea," Nami's smile grew. She took hold of Miissy's hand before she could retreat further. The two then went deeper into the store, Nami dragging Missy along the way. She was grabbing random clothes as they headed for the back which also held dressing rooms.

Rachel stood next to Robin, one eyebrow raised quizically. Shakky was pulling clothing off of racks, holding it up to Rachel and then putting it back. "What exactly are we doing here?" she asked.

"Isn't obvious silly?" Shakky asked. "We're looking for the perfect outfit for you."

"I have the perfect outfit," Rachel pointed out. "It's both fashionable and functional in a fight."

"Not that kind of outfit," Robin grinned. "We're searching for an outfit that will cause heads to turn."

"Come again?" Rachel looked between the two women with an expression of horror. "I don't need an outfit like that."

"Of course you do," Shakky said. "It wouldn't hurt to get you a new bathing suit either. I saw that one piece you were wearing. What kind of attention is that thing going to bring you?"

"That's kind of the point to it," Rachel argued. "I didn't want it to draw attention."

"You may want to rethink that now," Robin said thoughtfully. "You've captured the attention of a certain swordsman. A new suit for you will be good for him."

"You mean you want me to get a new suit just to be his eye candy?" A vein started to form above Rachel's left eye.

"That's not what I meant," Robin shook her head. Rachel's tense look immediately melted into confusion. "I meant that he would have to work harder to keep you. Other men will try to gain your attention if you wear a swimsuit that draws attention."

"Work harder to keep me or raise his bounty for murder?"

"Is there a difference?" Shakky asked.

"I can't believe you two."

"Found it," Shakky called triumphantly. She pulled out a blue cloth from the rack. She wouldn't let Rachel see what it looked like though. "Off to the changing rooms." The two women rushed Rachel to the back of the store.

Missy looked at herself in the mirror of the changing room. "There's no way in God's green earth I'll wear this anywhere," she hissed. Missy moved to take it off when the door burst open. "What the hell?" Nami came barging in and started picking up Missy's clothes she came with. "What do you think you're doing?" Nami only glanced at Missy out of the corner of her eye and walked out. She slammed the door shut behind her. "I think I just got hosed."

Rachel came out of the dressing room. She was wearing a form fitting dress. It had a low V-cut and thin straps. A silver sash was draped around the hips instead of the waist, it was intended as an accessory only and served no functional purpose at all. The length of the skirt went to mid-thigh, accentuating the shape there as well. Rachel's cheeks were bright read. Her right hand had a hold of her left elbow in an attempt to hide. "I'm not so sure about this," she said. "This isn't the sort of thing I wear. It serves no practical purpose on board the Nunya."

"Of course it has a purpose," Nami spoke up. She was sitting on a pile of Missy's clothes. Rachel rose an eyebrow at that. Just what had Nami done? "The purpose is to drive that man of yours crazy."

"This is Zoro we're talking about," Rachel pointed out. "I have yet to hear of an instance where he went crazy over anything."

"Which is the whole reason for this trip," Shakky pointed out. "I want to see how far he's fallen for you."

"How will my clothes prove that to you?"

"Never underestimate the power of the dress," Nami held up a finger. "You need to access your womanly charms a bit more."

"I seem to recall not needing them for Zoro to love me," Rachel pointed out. "I think it won't have the same effect as you seem to think it will."

Nami scoffed at that and looked away. "Fine, behave in any way that you want. But, you're getting that dress and you're wearing it back. I want to see what his reaction is when he looks at you. Depending on that will depend on if another trip is called for or not."

"Okay, I'll go along with that." Rachel then pointed to the clothes Nami was still sitting on. "What I want to know now is what are you doing with those?"

"This is Missy's punishment for hitting me," Nami said. She then stood and took hold of the clothes. "Now that Rachel has her dress, you girls can wait for Missy and I outside."

"Like hell I'm coming out wearing this," Missy shouted.

Nami let out a dark chuckle. "I could always send one of your brothers to come and drag you back to the ships."

"Nami, I look like an ugly cupcake."

"That's the point. Be grateful I chose to use your favorite color."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want an apology."

Rachel couldn't stop the laugh if she tried. The three women looked at her then. "Getting Missy to say the dreaded word 'sorry' is like asking the government not to pursecute pirates. Though, I would think you'd have better luck with the government."

"Then she's walking back to the ships like that," Nami stated. She crossed her arms to prove that she was firm in her resolve.

Rachel sighed and went to the door Missy was behind. "Would it be so bad to apologize to Nami for hitting her?" she asked.

"First of all, it wasn't my fault. If you hadn't mentioned crabs then I wouldn't have tried to hit you. If you hadn't ducked then I wouldn't have hit Nami in the first place. If anything, it's you that owes Nami the apology."

"Oh my god," Rachel rolled her eyes. "You just can never admit being in the wrong can you?" She shrugged her shoulders and stepped away. "Fine then, I'll let Nami go ahead with her plans. We'll be waiting for you outside the shop."

"Don't you dare leave me like this."

"Are you going to apologize?"

"Not a chance."

"See ya later."

"Chel!"

Rachel followed Shakky and Robin out of the store. Shakky was carrying two bags. One had Rachel's clothing in it and the other held Missy's. "I'll go on ahead," Shakky said. "We wouldn't want to give Missy a chance to steal her clothes back and completely ruin Nami's plans."

"You do that," Rachel nodded. "There's a store I want to go to before the two of them come out anyway." Shakky waved to the two and started to leave the village.

"What store did you want to go to?" Robin asked.

Rachel pointed to a Den Den Mushi store. "I want to find a camera snail," she said. "It'll be great for getting blackmail material." Without another word, the two headed into the shop.

Rachel and Robin finished their shopping before Nami could get Missy to come out. She had taken all the precautions to make sure Missy wouldn't be able to change into a different outfit. That included putting Missy's purse with her clothes, which was propably back at the Nunya by now. Nami refused to buy Missy anything else. With Rachel and Robin out of the store she couldn't get money from them either. After hiding in the dressing room for an hour, Missy finally made her way out. Nami grabbed her hand and dragged her out before she could change her mind.

When the two exited the store a flash went off. Rachel was holding her new camera snail in their direction. After she took a picture she got a good look at Missy's outfit. She calmly set the snail in her purse that was strapped to her shoulder. She slowly looked back up at Missy. "Here it comes," Missy groaned. Rachel burst out laughing, bending over because her sides were hurting from how hard she was laughing. Robin was laughing politely behind her hand.

Missy was glaring down at Rachel. She stood in front of them wearing a purple blouse with pirate frills. Her skirt was a bright orange, also put together with frills. The only shoes that Nami allowed her to wear were lime green. Rachel calmed down enough to get out, "You look like the pumpkin witch of Halloween." She then took off running to keep Missy from hurting her.

Nami and Robin had to follow after the two of them. They managed to catch up halfway back to the beach. Nami walked beside Rachel with Robin on her other side. On the other side of Robin walked a glowering Missy. The women could swear they saw a storm cloud forming above her head. Before they rounded the last curve, Nami had them all stop. "Can I borrow your camera snail Rachel?" she asked. "I want to capture the looks on the guys faces."

"I don't see why not," Rachel mused. She dug through her purse and pulled the snail out, handing to Nami.

"When you're done with it I want to use it," Missy said.

"If you give her the snail we'll never be able to have a picture of her in those clothes," Rachel pointed out. "She find a way to destroy all of the images."

"Good to know," Nami smiled. She turned her attention to Missy. "I'm going to say 'no' on letting you anywhere near this snail." Nami then rounded the curve. "Hey everyone," she called out. Most of the others turned their attention to her. "We're back!" Nami then looked back to the others. "Okay, Rachel, you come out first."

"Why do I have to go first?" Rachel asked. "Missy's going to draw the most attention."

"That's why you have to be first."

"What a pain in the ass." Rachel rolled her eyes. Her right arm was once again in the position it had been in when she first stepped out of the dressing room. When everyone saw her, silence stretched. "See? I told you this was a bad idea," Rachel whispered.

Nami was too busy taking pictures to hear her. The sound of footsteps approaching had Rachel looking up. Zoro was steadily making his way over. He stopped just in front of her and stared. Rachel blushed so hard she swore that she could be mistaken for a tomato. Once they made eye contact, Zoro broke it on purpose to look Rachel up and down. Now Rachel was certain she could make tomatoes jealous.

Zoro got close enough to Rachel so she could feel his breath. Neither noticed Nami taking pictures the whole time. "I like it," he whispered. Zoro then kissed Rachel, causing her to relax. As he turned around towards the beach his face changed to a scowl. The men on the beach that weren't related to Rachel started to sweat in fear, except Law. He wasn't that interested in that sort of thing.

"Okay you two," Nami broke in. "It's time for the next big reveal. If you could step aside so I can get a good picture." The two stepped aside and waited...and waited...and waited. "Get out here Missy," Nami snapped.

"I don't want to, you can't make me. Rachel, bring BB around this way. I'll make an escape to Nunya and change."

"Forget it," Rachel scoffed. "First off, you didn't ask nicely. Since when I have done anything I've been ordered to? Second off, this is what you get for refusing to tell people that you're sorry. You need a lesson in humility."

"I've never apologized a day in my life, you know that." Missy's voice was raised in her anger. She was trying to switch it to make Nami and Rachel the bad guys.

"Robin," Nami called out. "Would you do the honors?"

"Wait a second!" Missy's call was ignored now. Robin had grown hands on Missy to hold her arms to her sides. She then proceeded to push Missy out into the open. Nami was immediately taking pictures.

The first to burst out laughing was Luffy. The next to follow were Usopp, Chopper and Brook. "SUPER flashy," Franky said as he put sunglasses on. The laughter that broke across the beach was deafening.

Missy glared at Nami, Robin and Rachel. "You're all dead to me," she monotoned.