Hi guys sorry for the wait. Exam are next week so it is all hands to the deck with revision. But it has been a while so hope you enjoy this extra long chapter ;) Please review.
Chapter 21
'What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.' Helen Keller
It was two days later that Livie was released and since she had woken up she hadn't been very well. Ever since she had learned she had lost the baby she had become increasingly depressed. She barely spoke to anyone ever. She would lie on her bed staring blankly into space fighting to restrain tears. She hid the pain and acted just numb but both Reid and Kate had heard her crying when she thought nobody could hear her. Nobody knew what to do; even Kate had trouble connecting to her. She didn't seem to want to have any comfort. She seemed to want to drown in her sorrows.
Reid watched her as she slowly moved around her hospital room with one hand resting over her stomach trying to hide the obvious pain she was feeling. He tried so hard to be there for her, but it was hard.
"Do you need any help" he asked and Livie slowly shook her head "I'm fine" she whispered lifting one hand slowly up to brush her hair out of her face. Reid opened his mouth to speak again before he sighed and closed his eyes before he turned and moved slowly out of the room into the hall where the others were waiting. They had all remained in New York to help find the final escaped convict but they were all distracted by their co-workers pain and misery. It was hard to focus when they knew how much both Livie and Reid were hurting.
As he exited the room they all stood and moved towards him "how is she" JJ asked and Reid swallowed "the same as she was yesterday and the day before" he said softly "I think she is depressed" "who can blame her" Rossi said softly "she lost her child." Reid nodded and quickly moved into thee toilets to try and hide the fact that he was fighting back more tears.
Once in the bathroom he quickly locked the door so as not to be disturbed before he leaned against the counter. Slowly he reached into his bag and felt his fingers close around something soft. Taking a shaky breath he pulled it out stroking at the soft material. Nobody else knew about this, not even Livie, he had been excited about the baby and when he had seen this in the FBI gift shop, he hadn't been able to resist buying a little BAU onesie. He stared at the tiny item of clothing feeling his hands shake. It felt stupid now; to have been so impulsive and he felt an urge to throw the little outfit away and he didn't know what stopped him. But something did and he quickly shoved the onesie back into the depths of his bag.
He splashed cold water onto his face to hide the fact that he had been crying before he unlocked the door to leave. He was surprised though when he opened the door and found Morgan standing outside. Once the door opened Morgan caught hold of him and pushed him back in shutting it behind them.
"What are you doing" he asked and Morgan looked at him "how you feeling" he asked "how do you think" Reid responded and Morgan sighed "you know it wasn't your fault right" he said "the only person to blame is the idiot driver who ran the red light, it wasn't your fault" "people keep telling me that but it doesn't change the fact that I blame myself" Reid whispered "I should have seen it coming… I should of…"
"Hey hey" Morgan interjected "you can blame yourself all you want but there is nothing you could have done which would have changed the outcome, you could relive that moment one hundred times and not be able to make it right, you have to stop blaming yourself because it isn't helping Livie"
Reid looked up confused "what" he asked and Morgan caught hold of his shoulders "Reid Livie feels terrible that she lost that baby" he said gently "and she blames herself and she sees you blaming yourself. Doesn't it hurt to see her blaming herself" he asked and slowly Reid nodded "well I imagine she is probably feeling the same way about you blaming yourself. Neither of you are to blame and the sooner you both realise that, the sooner you will be able to move on."
"I don't know if I can move on" Reid whispered "I wanted that baby so bad, I wanted to start a family with Livie and that got taken away from us. That baby was what was going to keep us together after Livie's internship ends; she was going to stay with me. That baby was like… a little miracle"
"She might still stay" Morgan said gently and Reid nodded "but now she has nothing here, she could stay here with me or take that job in DC, there is nothing except me in Quantico… me and a painful memory about what we could have had."
"What is stopping you from trying again for a baby" Morgan asked "we both agreed before hand that we weren't ready for a baby" Reid said "we both agreed we wanted to wait a few years so that we could support a child… I mean think about it, Livie wouldn't have a job and I would have to support three on my salary, it wouldn't be easy. That baby wasn't planned but we decided we wanted it even though we knew we weren't ready."
He paused and looked at Morgan "I don't know if I can try again" he said "I mean suddenly I have all these doubts… I couldn't protect Livie or our baby, maybe I am not cut out to be a father…"
"Hey don't you dare start thinking like that" Morgan said firmly "you would make an amazing father Reid." But Reid just kept his head bowed "hey" Morgan said "you know what I thought when you blurted out that Livie was pregnant?" slowly Reid shook his head looking up at Morgan who smiled "well after I got over the original shock I thought 'about damm time' because I saw you and Livie being amazing parents and you being a very doting dad"
Reid gave a small smile before it slipped again "but I'm losing her Morgan" he said "with every day that passes I lose her more and more, I am watching her slip further away and I can't pull her back… I can't fix her"
"Reid you are not meant to fix her" Morgan said "No one can fix her, she isn't broken she's just cracked, don't try to fix her just catch her" Reid looked at him confused "she is going to hurt and she will stumble" Morgan said "catch her, hold her, show her how much you still love her. She needs time; losing a baby is one of the hardest things any woman can go through, it is going to take her a while to get over this, you just have to show her that it is ok and that she is not alone, don't hide your pain, let her know that you know how she feels, that you share her pain, but give her space if she wants it and don't push her, just encourage her"
Reid remained silent processing what he had been told before he nodded "thanks Morgan" he said and Morgan smiled "No problem kid" he said "now come on lets go back to the others." Reid nodded and followed Morgan back to the waiting room where the others were waiting.
XO
Livie didn't look up from where she was sitting on the edge of her bed staring into space as she heard someone slip into her room closing the door softly behind them. She didn't acknowledge their presence at all because she didn't want any company; she just wanted to be left alone.
"Livie" she heard JJ say and she shifted uncomfortably "look JJ I appreciate that you are just trying to help but I really just want to be left alone" she mumbled "I know" JJ said "I know exactly how you feel honey." Livie huffed "no you don't" she muttered.
"It feels like…" JJ paused to think before she sighed "it feels like you've just been punched hard… you can't breathe… you feel guilty… like it's your fault even when it isn't. You feel like you are screaming and no one can hear you… you're gasping for breath and it hurts but you can't seem to draw any air in without them there in your arms"
She saw Livie turn her head towards her slightly visibly shaking so she kept going trying to keep the tremble out of her voice "you feel like… you lost a part of yourself, like you lost a part of your future. You feel that you should have saved your child… that you should have protected them… like a mother should."
She looked over at Livie who slowly turned her head to look at her fully "it feels like a huge hole has been punched through me" she whispered and slowly JJ reached out to touch her shoulder "I know" she said "how do you know" Livie asked and JJ sighed "because I have been where you are now" she said gently "I lost a child too" Livie stared at her "what" she whispered and JJ nodded before she dropped her head "it was a couple of years ago" she said "I was reassigned away from the BAU temporarily… listen Livie I am never meant to talk about what I was doing but it is top secret ok but I was abroad in a war zone when I found out I was pregnant. I was so happy yet shocked when I found out and I couldn't wait to tell Will."
She paused "unfortunately I never got the chance" she said softly "we were moving to a new base camp for a secret mission when our cars hit a road side bomb followed by an attack. We were all badly injured and many died. When I woke up I was with a friend; the only one I had told. He looked at me and just said 'I'm sorry.' I remember waiting for someone to tell me it was just some sick joke, but nobody did. I felt such a sense of despair when I found out. I felt like I had lost part of me, I was so looking forward to giving Henry a brother or sister and then I lost it. I was inconsolable for a long time afterwards and was eventually transferred home. I never told Will that I had lost a baby. I never told anyone until today."
"Why are you telling me" Livie asked in a whisper "so you know that you are not alone" JJ said "you have to stop feeling guilty honey, it is crushing you. You have to accept it and move on; I know from experience that it is the best thing to do" "but I wanted that baby so bad" Livie whispered "I wanted to start a family with Reid"
"I know" JJ whispered "but you still can have a family kiddo, it isn't too late." She saw Livie's eyes shine with tears "but I'm scared, what if it happens again" she cried "it won't" JJ promised pulling her into a hug "don't think about it right now ok, you have to stop wallowing in your grief." "How did you manage" Livie asked "because I can't… how did you get over it."
JJ hesitated "I was lucky" she said "I already had Henry and seeing him helped so much, even if it was a little painful to see what could have been, but I had him and I had Will" "but I don't have that" Livie said softly.
"I know" JJ said "and it is going to be hard Livie but you can't give up, and there is one thing you have." She waited until Livie looked at her questioningly before she smiled "you have us" she said "You have your amazing and caring family and you have the team, and most importantly you have Spence, he loves you Livie, he loves you so much and he hates seeing you blame yourself. He blames himself too. Both of you need to quit the blame and lean on each other for comfort ok" she waited watching as Livie absorbed the news before smiling as she nodded and turned "thanks JJ" she whispered and leaned over to hug her. Smiling JJ hugged her back "no problem" she whispered "and if you need to talk… call me… no matter what time" Livie nodded and rubbed her eyes before she sighed "I guess I should finish getting released" she said and JJ nodded and helped her finish up packing before they both slowly moved out of the room.
XO
As they remerged from the bathroom the rest of the team all stood Reid could feel them trying to analyse if he was ok "where's JJ" Morgan asked and Hotch nodded towards Livie's room "said she wanted to talk to her alone" he said.
Reid looked at Kate; she looked tired and stressed, much like the rest of them "you should rest" Hotch told her "we will go back to the precinct and continue working the case, you should take Livie home" Kate smiled weakly "you should all rest too" she said "you look just as tired as I feel and besides I called in more reinforcements to help" "more" Hotch asked looking uncertain at this piece of news but Kate smiled reassuringly "just one more person" she clarified "don't worry she'll be loads of help." "Who is she" Morgan asked.
"Me" came a voice from behind and they all turned to see a young girl of around Livie's age standing there. She had Middle Eastern skin with wild dark brown hair and eyes that seemed to glow greenie gold. She was wearing tight fitting jeans with a loose top over it, sturdy boots and a leather jacket. There was a rucksack on her back and a gun at her hip. Everything about her gave a sense of authority and calm, yet behind those golden eyes there was uncertainty, a wariness that had come from facing many dangerous situations.
Kate smiled and moved over to the girl who grinned "hey Kate" she said "hey Tali" Kate murmured "you look good" the girl grinned "good to see you" she said before her face saddened "though I wish it were under better circumstances" Kate nodded "me too" she said. The girl looked past Kate and her eyes flashed briefly over the assembled BAU team before they fixed on Livie's door "how is she" she asked and Kate sighed "not so good" she admitted before she turned. "Agents" she said "I would like you to meet Tali DiNozzo… a very good family friend and definitely someone you want to be on the same side as. Tali this is the team from the BAU in Quantico, who Livie has been working with for the past five and a half months"
Tali smiled as she looked over them all carefully evaluating them as they studied her. When her gaze fell on Reid her eyes locked on him and she studied him before she smiled gently at him and her who stance softened as she relaxed "good to meet you" she said "I have heard a lot about you from Livie in her emails, she speaks very highly of all of you." She looked at Reid again "I'm sorry" she said and Reid frowned wondering how she knew who he was when they hadn't been introduced. Then he remembered what Livie had told him, how intuitive Tali was and very observant.
"I called Tali in to assist with the case" Kate said and Tali smiled "I was nearby anyway" she said "I just finished a mission infiltrating a group selling bogus vests to marines in Afghanistan that weren't protecting them. I finished up in DC and it wasn't far to come." Morgan frowned "what how old are you" he asked and Tali grinned "22" she asked and Morgan raised his eyebrows.
"Don't let the age and looks fool you guys" came a tired voice from behind "she's been trained to kill you 18 different ways using a paperclip" they all turned to see Livie and JJ moving towards them and Livie had a small smile on her face. Tali grinned and moved round the others "hey Livs" she said and Livie smiled "hey Tal" she murmured as they hugged "it's good to see you." They hugged tightly and the team could see the almost sisterly relationship they shared. They had known each other a long time and judging from the way Tali had come straight down, there wasn't anything they wouldn't do for each other.
"Ma shlomekh" Tali asked in Hebrew and Livie smiled weakly "shlomi tov" she said softly and Tali pulled away to look at her "be'emet" she asked in a serious tone and Livie smiled again "be'emet" she repeated before she sighed and looked at everyone watching them "I'm ready to go" she said "can we get out of here?"
Her mother nodded "come back to the loft" she said and Livie hesitated before nodding "we should try and find Danville" Hotch said "Miss DiNozzo would you care to accompany us to the precinct?" Tali nodded and Kate smiled at her "Ryan and Esposito will be there" she said "and you can stay with us to say thanks for coming" Tali smiled "thanks" she said before she looked at Livie "catch up later" she coaxed and Livie nodded quietly.
Reid looked at her uncertainly wondering what he should do. He wanted to go with Livie but he knew that he should go with the team and help catch Danville. Livie seemed to sense his unease because she smiled "go with the team" she said "I'll be fine" slowly he moved over to her "you sure" he asked and she nodded as she stroked his cheek staring up into his eyes "come over when you're done" she said and he nodded before gently kissing her forehead hearing her give a small sigh as she leaned against him briefly before pulling away "see you later" she whispered before she stepped away and hating to leave her but knowing he had to Reid stepped towards the others who were waiting for them and slowly they all stepped into the elevator and headed off with Tali to catch the serial killer.
XO
When Livie arrived home her dad and Kaylee were waiting to greet her and she hugged them both forcing a small smile onto her face as she did so though she had to struggle to maintain it after a few minutes. "Do you want a drink or anything" her dad asked and she shook her head "no I... I think I'll go lie down for a little" she said softly "I'm really tired." She could see that neither of her parents looked convinced but they nodded and slowly she made her way towards the stairs. As she did so she felt her mom catch hold of her arm and slowly she looked over to see her staring at her.
"Remember that you are not alone" she said and Livie stared at her before she nodded and continued up the stairs and into her bedroom and she quietly shut the door behind her. She felt her strong walls crumble as she crawled into the bed and curled up under the covers, closing her eyes as she felt tears leak out against her will.
She heard a small tap and lifted her head to see Kaylee poking her head round. "Livie" she whispered as she slipped in "Livie are you ok?" Livie smiled weakly "I'm fine Kale" she whispered "I'm just really really tired." Kaylee considered her before she moved forward and sat on the edge of the bed. Slowly she reached out and her little fingers brushed some tears from Livie's cheek. "Don't cry Livie" she pleaded "it isn't the end of the world, we're still here for you… always" Livie smiled before she held out her arm and quickly Kaylee burrowed under the covers with her and Livie wrapped her arms around her holding her close. She sighed as she pressed her lips against the top of her little sister's head "I know baby girl" she murmured "believe me I know…"
XO
Reid sat at the conference table listening to everyone work. He felt too restless to be here, he wanted to be with Livie but he knew that he had to help catch the last escaped prisoner, after all that was his job. He looked over at Tali who was sitting staring at the piece of paper in front of her. She seemed distracted too, and he suspected she was worried about Livie too but she wouldn't let her worry show. They had quickly learned on the drive over that she wasn't one to disclose much, and she didn't reveal her emotions easily.
He was just wondering if she was even listening when she suddenly looked up "what about that brother" she asked "Jeffery Danville had a brother right." Hotch looked at her "yes Stephan Danville but he died about five years ago, he was a marine, deployed in Iraq" Tali nodded "yeah and what about his widow" she asked pushing a file towards them Carrie Danville right?"
"Yes" Hotch said slowly obviously wondering where she was going with this. Tali grinned "well prison records suggest that Danville was called and visited regularly by someone named…" she stood up and moved over to the whiteboard and quickly wrote a name on it "Calli Dranvire." She turned to look at them as silence followed her announcement.
"And" Rossi asked eventually and Tali grinned "rearrange the letters of Calli Dranvire and you get…" "…Carrie Danville" Reid interjected seeing the letters almost rearrange themselves on the whiteboard "prize to the genius" Tali said nodding at him "now I don't know many people too friendly with their brother-in-laws who visit them in prison whilst using a pseudonym" she said.
Everyone looked at her "can we keep her" Morgan asked looking stumped "that was impressive" Tali smirked at him "sorry guys already employed" she said "but if I ever need a job I'll know where to look" Morgan nodded.
"Right lets all go pay Carrie Danville a visit" Hotch said and they all nodded and grabbed their things. As they were heading to the cars though Reid's phone rang and he fumbled briefly with it before seeing who was calling and he instantly answered.
"Hey" he said gently
"Hey" Livie said quietly, still sounding distant
"Are you ok" he asked as they arrived at the cars and he stopped moving.
"I don't know" she said softly "um… can you come over?... like now… I … I really need to see you"
"Um" Reid said looking at Hotch who was watching him. 'Is it Livie' he mouthed and Reid nodded. "Go" Hotch said quietly "go… if she needs you, you need to be there" Reid stared at him before nodding 'thanks' he mouthed.
"Livie I'll be there as soon as I can" he said. "Ok" Livie said softly "Thanks Spence" she added before she hung up.
"Thanks Hotch" Reid said gratefully "no problem" Hotch said "we'll let you know how it goes, let us know how she is" Reid nodded "good luck" he said "stay safe" and with that he quickly ran out onto the street where he hailed a cab and gave the cabbie the address for the loft.
XO
When he arrived he quickly knocked on the door and Kate opened it. When she saw it was him she smiled "hey" she said softly "how's the case going" "um good" he said as he stepped in "Tali found us a lead… they are going to check it out now" Kate nodded "I thought Tali might find something we had over looked… she is the daughter of two navy cops, she has grown up learning about that sort of thing. She went to their work after school and I guess that paid off"
Reid nodded "definitely" he agreed "um Livie called…. She said she wanted me to come over as soon as I could" Kate nodded "she's in her room" she said suddenly looking sad "she hasn't come out of there since we got home, she let Kaylee in for a while but then she just wanted to be left alone"
Reid nodded and shifted uncertainly worried about how he was going to find her. "Go on up" Kate said gently "maybe you'll be able to help her" Reid nodded and slowly headed up the stairs. He saw Kaylee poking her head out of her bedroom looking anxious and he smiled reassuringly at her before he gently knocked on the door to Livie's room. "Livie" he called as he slowly opened it and stuck his head round "it's me… Livie?"
The room was mostly dark with the curtains mostly drawn. The bed was a mess with the covers thrown around. He squinted through the dark until he spotted Livie curled up in the chair beside the window under a blanket. Her head was resting on the back of the chair and her eyes were closed. Slowly Reid slipped in and closed the door behind him. He quickly grabbed the stool from her dressing table and dragged it over to where she was curled up. Slowly he sat down and studied her for a moment.
She looked so tired and pained, like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. He hated that it seemed that way. They had both already been through enough. What on earth had made them deserve to lose their child?
Slowly he reached out to stroke her cheek, gently brushing her hair aside as she stirred at his touch mumbling before she allowed her eyelids to flutter open. She blinked before registering that he was there and she let out a small sigh. "Spence" she mumbled carefully lifting her hand to catch hold of his hand at her cheek, slowly she rested her head against that hand closing her eyes briefly as she did so.
"Are you ok" Reid asked and she sighed "physically yeah" she said "I'm fine, the pain doesn't hurt much, mentally I don't know… I wanted that baby so bad Spence"
"Me too" Reid whispered shifting closer to her on his seat "I know how you feel Livie" she sighed and looked out the window "I dream about them" she said "every time I close my eyes I dream about our baby, our beautiful little baby… she's so beautiful and amazing… she looks like you Spence… she has your beautiful eyes and this big smile that melts my heart… then as I watch I hear the car hitting our car and our baby crying and there is nothing I can do to get to her… there's nothing I can do to save her…"
She broke off choking back a sob before she leapt to her feet moving away from the window, slowly Reid rose after her watching as she paced back and forth briefly before she sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. She put her head in her hands where she remained before mumbling "what are we going to do now Spence"
Slowly he moved forward to sit beside her "I don't know" he said reaching out to catch her hand in one of his and coax her to look up at him with the other before he continued "I wanted that baby too Livs and I know how you feel, I just don't… want to lose you too and at the moment it feels like I am"
She stared up at him uncertainly before she made to look away but Reid kept hold of her "Livie" he pleaded feeling his eyes begin to shine with tears "I hurt too" he said and she paused before she turned slightly to look at him "I hurt too" he repeated solemnly "I lost that baby too Livs and I don't want to lose you too, I know it must hurt you because you were carrying that baby but please… don't shut me out, I hurt too and you don't need to go through this alone… I'm feeling the same pain as you; please don't shut me out… I can't lose you too"
He stared at her wondering what else he could do as her eyes flicked over his face as she absorbed what he had said. Then she dropped her gaze "I'm sorry" she whispered "I didn't mean to shut you out, I just didn't want everyone to see my pain, I'm sorry"
"It's ok" Reid whispered as she slowly leaned against him "it's ok" he wrapped his arms around her holding her tight before leaning back against her pillows as she curled into his chest. "Together" she murmured "we promised each other we would get through this together, from now on we will" "yes" Reid murmured "together."
Livie looked up at him before she slowly kissed him. "I'm sorry" she murmured again "don't be" he said "it wasn't your fault" she sighed as she rested her head over his heart "do you think the dreams will ever go away" she asked "I don't know" he whispered knowing full well that they most likely wouldn't ever fully go away but not wanting to hurt her further "but your other dreams faded didn't they? Maybe these ones will too" "Mmm" Livie mumbled "I hope it doesn't take as long though" Reid didn't say anything, hoping exactly the same thing.
XO
When the team arrived at the sister-in-law's house they instantly split into groups. "JJ, Rossi, Emily cover the back" Hotch instructed and they nodded as they prepared themselves to go round "Tali, Morgan you're with me" Hotch added and they both nodded and pulled out their guns.
As they moved forward Hotch found himself watching Tali; she was intriguing and he wasn't sure how he felt about her yet. Sure she had found them this place, but she was so guarded, he wanted to know more about her before he decided to trust her. Right now it was only Livie and Kate's word that had him temporarily trusting her. She moved forward on light feet barely making a sound, lithe as a cat, her eyes flicking over the building in front of them searching for any sign of movement.
They made it to the front door positioning themselves on either side of it. Once they had received conformation from the others that they were in position Hotch banged on the door. "Federal Agents" he shouted "come out with your hands up"
They heard shouting from round the back before JJ informed them that they had the sister in law. As she was doing so there was a loud crash and the window behind them shattered as Jeffery Danville flung a lamp at it before he leapt out.
"Hey" Tali shouted instantly taking off after him as he bolted hauling himself up over the nearby fence and she followed with a nimble bound vaulting over the fence as Hotch and Morgan followed.
Danville veered out onto the road sprinting away looking over his shoulder for his pursuers. However as he looked back round Tali flung herself at him appearing from the side, slamming into him and knocking him to the ground.
Swearing he struck out at her catching her across the cheek and she growled grabbing for his had as his other one swung at her. This time she caught it and there was a snap and he let out a shriek of pain as Morgan and Hotch arrived. Tali wrestled him onto his front before she allowed them to cuff him and haul him to his feet.
"You bitch" he shrieked struggling towards her but Morgan held him back "you broke my finger you bitch." Tali raised her eyebrows calmly "well that's what you get for hitting a girl" she said "you chose the wrong one there huh" he swore at her again and she rolled her eyes "shut up before I get the overwhelming desire to break your jaw too" she said dryly.
"She broke my finger" he yelled "nope it was just self defence" Morgan said as he wrestled him towards the car.
Hotch looked at Tali who was dusting herself down "you ok" he asked and she looked up at him as she slid her gun into its holster "yeah sure" she said "he hit you quite hard" Hotch commented and Tali smiled "I've had worse" she said softly and her eyes gained a haunted look briefly "a lot worse" she mumbled before she covered it up and looked at him "shall we get them to the precinct" she asked before she headed to the two cars where the teams were loading their prisoners into the cars.
Hotch followed making a mental note to find out more about this strange young girl, he would have to ask Livie when she was better, or even Garcia to dig into her past. Because there was something about her, indeed she had been through a lot. And it was most likely something that no one else her age would ever have gone through.
XO
When they got back to the precinct they found some guys from Rikers waiting to take Danville back. Once they had spoken to them they were allowed to interview him so Ryan and Esposito took him into one interrogation room whilst Carrie Danville was taken into another.
Hotch looked at the team "who's going in with who" he asked "we can take the sister in law" Ryan and Esposito offered and Hotch nodded "Morgan why don't you take Danville" he suggested "and take miss DiNozzo in with you" he added and a huge grin slid over Tali's face as she nodded.
She and Morgan removed their guns from the holsters before they headed into the interrogation room where Danville was sitting glaring daggers at them. "I'm not going to say anything" he snapped. "Quite frankly you don't have to say anything" Morgan said as he sat down across the table from him "you escaped from a federal prison assaulting two guards as you did so assisting two others to escape, we know what you did, and we know you killed all those girls years ago, the only thing we want to know is why… why did you escape? You had a spotless record, they were even considering moving you down to a less secure area. Now? Well I think you will most likely end up in maximum security prison. That doesn't sound nice does it?"
Danville glared at him "you think you are all so smart don't you" he growled "you think you saw inside my mind and used it against me to catch me don't you." "Actually we just followed the evidence" Morgan said bluntly "now I'd button up that attitude and get some respect before I let Miss DiNozzo over here break a few more bones, maybe slightly bigger than a finger bone though this time"
Danville looked over at Tali who smiled sweetly at him from where she was leaning against the wall beside the mirror. "Bitch" he hissed glaring at her but Morgan could see he was wary of her. Morgan smirked "she's not one of those terrified young women who you torture and kill is she? She won't submit to you like they did, and you aren't so cocky around her now are you"
Danville didn't respond; he just glared between them. "Now, why did you feel the need to break out of prison" Morgan asked and Danville's eyes settled on him "because I wasn't finished" he hissed "I like it too much; I can't stop, I wanted to hurt more people, I wasn't finished when that detective caught me, no where near finished, I wanted to see more pain, to feel the life leave more bodies, I wanted more and I couldn't live without it."
Out of the corner of his eye Morgan saw Tali's jaw clench and he hoped she would control herself as he quickly pressed on "well Mr Danville I am afraid you are going to have to; assaulting officers and escaping prison is going to add a good few years onto your sentence, and I think it will be very unlikely that you will ever feel freedom again."
He closed the file in front of him and rose to his feet "come on" he said to Tali "let's hand this guy back over to the feds" he saw Tali eye Danville almost longingly as though wishing she could do a little more damage before she nodded and slipped out the door and he headed out after her.
They met the others in the hall and they signed the two prisoners over to the appropriate officers before they watched as they were led away. "What did the sister in law say" Emily asked Ryan and Esposito as they headed over "ahh just that she and he had always been close and he had told her to use the pseudonym when visiting and she didn't think it was a big deal and when he turned up at her door she didn't know what else to do, she felt like she owed him but she really wanted to call…" Ryan said "all the usual stuff to try and save her ass" Esposito added and they all nodded. "Well job done" Morgan said looking at Hotch "what now?"
They saw Hotch hesitate; they no longer had permission to be here but they didn't want to leave without Livie and they knew Reid wasn't leaving without her. "We'll have to see what we can do" he said "you never know they might need extra psychological profiles of the convicts now that they are caught again" everyone nodded "you heard from Reid" Rossi asked and Hotch shook his head "I'll let him know that we caught Danville though" he said before turning to Tali.
"Thanks for the help" he said and Tali grinned "the pleasure was mine" she said "I have to admit I have heard a lot about you lot from the BAU, most of my colleagues… they don't believe in profiling; they think it is all guess work but I saw the value in it; it has helped my parents a couple of times, it was nice to see how you work"
Hotch nodded "well anytime you need our help don't hesitate to give us a call" he said before a small smile slipped onto his face "I have to admit I was… doubtful when I first met you but… you proved your worth, you are definitely someone I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of"
Tali laughed "ah you men always underestimate a girl" she said "you have to realise that some of us are more dangerous than a loaded gun, because we don't need bullets to be dangerous" she looked around at them all "I guess it is useful to be underestimated though" she said "means I can prove myself, even if it is annoying having to do so… but that is the society we live in" she sighed before another sly grin slipped onto her face "it is fun seeing everyone's shocked faces when they try to feel you up though and you break their fingers" everyone laughed.
"What you doing now" Morgan asked and she shrugged "well I'm staying at the loft for a couple of days so I guess I'll head back there" "sure you don't want to join us for a drink" he asked and she smiled "thanks for the offer, maybe tomorrow if you are still here, but tonight I think I need to see Livie, it has been too long" they all nodded watching as she moved over to where she had dumped her stuff "later guys" she said and they all called their goodbyes as she headed to the elevators.
Morgan looked at the others "well she said no but I really feel like I need a few drinks after this week" he said and they all nodded before grabbing their belongings and heading out of the precinct bickering over where to go for a drink.
XO
A few hours later found Livie wondering around the apartment. She had fallen asleep after taking some of her painkillers and had recently awoken to hear that by the sounds of it Spencer had been roped into a game of one on one laser tag with Kaylee, and from the sounds of the noise downstairs he was enjoying it.
She drifted down the hallway looking at the many pictures on the wall before she peered down the stairs feeling a small smile slip onto her face when she saw Reid dash past with Kaylee hot on his heels squealing excitedly.
She watched them dash around for a few more minutes before she moved back towards her room not feeling like going down to join them. She still ached all over and was supposed to be resting as much as possible. As she drifted past one of the spare bedrooms though she heard the sound of Tali having a conversation with someone.
She paused curiously to listen as she heard her name being mentioned and she smiled as she realised who she was talking to…
"Yeah we got the guy" Tali was saying "Livie's team were really good, I can see why she likes working with them… their psychological perspective is interesting to say the least. And just because they are psychologists it doesn't mean that they don't kick ass"
"But I bet you did most of the ass kicking for them" April said. She was one of the other girls in their little friendship and as usual it didn't take long for the fourth member to butt in. "Well if she didn't then we really should have her taken to the hospital because if Tali isn't kimbo slicing her way through suspects then something is seriously wrong."
"Aww Blair you think so lowly of me" Tali complained. "How many fingers did you break" Blair challenged and Tali huffed "Only the one" she defended and April laughed.
"So how's Livie doing" she asked and Tali hesitated "I don't really know" she admitted "I haven't seen much of her, she keeps to herself a lot at the moment, but she doesn't look so good, she looks almost… lost"
"So who's making that god awful racket downstairs" Blair asked and Tali laughed "That would be Kaylee and Spencer; Livie's boyfriend"
"Oh you met him" Blair said sounding interested "What's he like?" "He's great" Tali said "Livie has found herself a keeper there, he is so kind and I can see that he cares for Livie a lot, it is like she is his life and he is hers. I think she found her soul mate."
"Good for her" April said "she deserves someone like him." "Mmm" Tali agreed "But neither of them deserved to lose their baby"
They all fell silent at that and Livie leaned against the wall feeling an ache in her chest. "So she isn't doing so well then" April deduced and Livie sighed realising that she was going to have to set this right.
Slowly she pushed the door open. "I'm fine guys" she said softly. Tali looked up from where she was sat on the edge of the bed and gave her a small smile "hey" she said and Livie smiled back "hey" she said as she moved forward and sat beside her friend on the edge of the bed as Tali turned the laptop slightly to show her the screen which was split into two to show two different locations each holding one of their friends; April and Blair.
They both smiled at the sight of her and she felt a warmth in her chest at the sight of her other two best friends "hey guys" she said softly "long time no talk hey"
"Too long" Blair agreed as she and April smiled looking slightly awkward, like they didn't know what to say to her. A feeling a lot of people seemed to be having round Livie at the moment. Even Ryan and Esposito whom she had known for years had seemed uncertain about how to talk to her when they had popped in to inform them that they had caught Jeffery Danville.
Both of them struggled to find the words before April eventually just said "I'm sorry" and Blair nodded. Livie smiled weakly before she nodded "it's ok" she said "I'm ok… I swear." But she could tell that they believed her about as much as she believed herself.
"So have you heard back about the job with the FBI in DC" April asked changing the subject "My dad says that they called your boss yup a few weeks ago and apparently from what he heard from Sweets they liked what they heard." Livie smiled and shook her head "not heard anything yet" she said quietly.
"It would be awesome if you did get it because we would be able to start there at around the same time" Blair said eagerly "I start in about two months working under April's dad." April grinned "and I think my dad is regretting his decision after reading your files" she teased and Blair scowled.
Livie smiled having been missing her friends and their banter; it felt nice to be talking to them again. "Anything new with you guys" she asked and they all shrugged "how's your internship going April" she asked knowing that her friend was studying forensic anthropology at the moment in the Jeffersonion Institute in DC. April grinned "I'm loving it" she said "I am learning so much" Livie smiled and they chatted for a little bit longer before it was time to go and they all said their goodbyes before signing off.
Tali shut her laptop and looked at Livie "so" she said "case closed… what you going to do now" Livie sighed "go back to Quantico" she said softly and Tali frowned "but your internship ends like in two weeks doesn't it" she asked and Livie nodded "well I am sure they wouldn't mind if you just wanted to end it early"
Livie sighed "it isn't about the job anymore Tali" she whispered as she looked over at her best friend "I'm in love Tal and … I don't know if I can say goodbye just yet." Tali nodded gaining a knowing look on her face "that's why you didn't sound so eager about the job with the FBI that you have been after ever since you started studying at university" she deduced
Livie nodded "I love Spencer" she said "I was ready to give up that job just to stay with him when I learned I was pregnant, I was willing to give up my chance at that huge future in the FBI just for him, so that we could raise that baby together. Now that future has shattered and the other one is calling to me but I don't know if I can let go of my current life yet, because I feel like I'll be letting go of a part of me"
"Then don't" Tali said "as much as we would love you to move to DC where we would get to see you all the time, we all want what is best for you. I saw you with Reid Livs, you looked so at home with him beside you, even now you look a little… incomplete without him."
Livie smiled "but he doesn't want me to throw away my future because of him" she said "I know that should I get that job offer he'll encourage me to take it… and I don't know if I can"
Tali studied her before she reached out and caught hold of her hand squeezing it gently "cross that bridge when you come to it" she said "don't worry about it yet; enjoy the time you have with him." Livie nodded "thanks Tal" she said and her friend nodded.
"Now" she said "I have heard a lot about these famous laser tag wars held in this loft and I have been wanting to try my hand at them for a while now" Livie laughed "come on then" she said and slowly they headed down the stairs where they saw Kate sitting at the dining room table trying to concentrate at her work whilst Reid sprinted away from Kaylee who charged after him roaring excitedly.
"Hi Livie hi Tali" she squealed when she spotted them ducking behind a pillar as Reid took the opportunity to spin round and fire at her before ducking behind the stairs "hey" Tali said "any room for another player" she asked.
Kaylee's eyes widened "shotgun Tali on my team" she hollered and Livie let out a gentle laugh as she looked over at Reid as he came over whilst Kaylee ran to fetch the other vests "you are going to get your ass handed to you if Kaylee has Tali on her team" she said reaching out to catch hold of his hand and he instantly looked worried "why is she good" he asked. Livie shrugged "she's never played it before" she said "but let's just say she is a fantastic shot in real life and she is good at keeping a cool head in adrenaline pumping situations"
Kate looked up from her work and she looked like she was struggling not to laugh "yeah good luck Spencer" she offered and Reid gulped. "Daaaad" Kaylee yelled "come be on Spencer's team" "Kaylee there is no need to shout" Kate chided "he's only in the next room" "oops sorry mom" Kaylee said with a cute grin and Rick came bounding out of the office "thought you'd never ask" he said joyfully.
"You are against Tali and Kaylee" Livie told him and he instantly looked uneasy "uh oh" he said "this is really boosting my confidence" Reid said and Livie smiled before she reached up to kiss him "watch your back" she said softly squeezing his arm before she moved to sit on the sofa where she could watch the match.
"This I have to see" Kate said abandoning her work and slipping over to join Livie on the sofa as the two teams squared each other up from opposite sides of the room. "Go" Kaylee yelled and instantly they all ducked behind the nearest pillar, bookcase or sofa for defence and began to fire at each other laughing madly as they did so.
Reid probably quickly realised what Livie had meant by watch your back when Tali suddenly without anyone noticing appeared behind him and with a yelp he had to leap behind another pillar for defence but not before she succeeded in adding two shots to her score.
The game was hilarious and action packed but it soon became apparent that no matter how hard they fought, the boys were having their asses whipped. Tali was a skilled shooter making small shots that even experienced players like Rick and Kaylee wouldn't make.
And all the while Livie and her mom sat laughing at the scene before them watching the boys get beaten by two girls.
As she watched and laughed Livie realised that what JJ had said to her was true; she wasn't alone, she had her family, her friends and her team at the BAU. No matter how dark and frightening it seemed, she wasn't going to be alone to fight it.
'Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity and pain… to feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity my to embrace it' Kevin Aucoin
Hi guys sorry again for the huge wait. I have exams next week gulp.
Hope you enjoyed that and liked the introduction of the three other characters who will be brought in during the sequal. Tali's past will most likely be explained even more during that or a bit more in the next chapter as to why she is so kick ass.
Pretty Please review. I love hearing what you think and would love to hear what more of you think.
Thanks
Back to the revising I go.
Mysticgirl