Chapter 69: This is Jeopardy

[Scene: the Umino household. Umino and Zoi are on the couch playing a console game while waiting for Umino's father to return with the pizzas. Zoi and Umino are laughing since Zoi's pretty terrible at the game so it's been mostly slapstick comedy.]

Umnio: To the left, send her after the guy who is shooting fireballs at me!

Zoi: She's trying to get there.

Umino: It doesn't look like she's trying to get there. It looks like she's had a bit too much to drink.

Zoi: I think there's something wrong with my controller.

Umino: There's nothing wrong with the controller, except you don't know how to use it…nice combo. You uncovered a secret attack. How did you do that?

Zoi: I have no idea. I'm just hitting buttons at random.

Umino: Hey, stop throw darts at me. We're allies.

Zoi: You should be smart enough to get out of my way.

Umino: You're even worse at video games than you are at real sports. I didn't think that was possible.

Zoi: Do you have any sniper games? I'm a really good shooter.

Umino: I don't believe you.

Zoi: It's true. My dad's a cop, remember? I've been shooting bottles off fenceposts even before I could walk.

Mr. Umino: Pizza's here.

[Umino's older brother and his fiance come in with a stack of plates and his mother and younger sister come in with cans of softdrinks. They turn off the game while the family assembles in the living room and Umino's mother starts the DVR.]

Umino: Zoi thinks he's good at Jeopardy, so I think we should play teams. Me vs. everyone else.

Zoi: [giggles] You're pretty cocky.

Umino: It's not cocky if I can back it up.

Sister: [peeks in a box] Ew! Who got pineapple, ham, and jalapeno?

Zoi: That's mine.

Sister: Yuck. Are you pregnant?

Zoi: No. It's Hawaiian style.

Sister: That's just gross.

Zoi: You have clearly never tried it.

Brother's Fiancé: I want to try it.

Brother: Me too.

Mrs. Umino: Shush, they're getting ready to read the categories.

TV: "First we have the Bible, next Rock Music, Literature, World Facts, Food & Drink, and finally a little bit of everything, the Potpourri category.

Umino: [groans] The Bible? Not again. I may actually miss a question or two.

Mrs. Umino: [To Zoi.] You don't have to answer in the form of a question.

TV: "This duo's 'Love Will Keep Us Together' won a 1975 Grammy for record of the year."

Umino, Mrs. Umino, Mr. Umino: The Captain & Tennille!

Zoi: [at the same time] Who are Captain & Tennille?

Sister: She said you don't have to answer in the form of a question!

Zoi: It's a hard habit to break.

TV: *time out buzzer*

Mrs. Umino: How did they not know that? Even I got that one.

TV: "In 'Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea' the name of the captain of the Nautilus means 'nobody'"

Umino: Nemo!

Zoi: [same time] Wh—Nemo.

Umino: And the language is Greek in case anyone is wondering. Nemo was also the name used by Ulysses when he tricked the cyclops—

Sister: Shut up, Gurio! We can't hear the questions!

Umino: You never get any of them anyway.

Sister: I might if you didn't keep talking over the TV!

TV: "The key on Cuba's coat of arms symbolizes that it is the key to this Gulf."

Brother: Persian?

Umino & Zoi: Mexico.

Mrs. Umino: [to Zoi] You are good at this game. I think you're tied with Gurio.

Umino: That's because we're still in the easy questions. Once they start picking ones higher than 400, I'll leave him in the dust.

Zoi: [giggles] We'll see about that.

TV: "The University of this Bulgarian capital was founded in 1888."

Umino: Sofia.

TV: "Simon Bolivar's birthplace is a major tourist attraction in this Venezuelan capital."

Umino: Caracas. You were saying, Zoi?

TV: "At the end of a Sinclair Lewis novel this physician retires to a Vermont Farm to make serum."

Umino: Martin Arrowsmith from the book Arrowsmith which was awarded a Pulitzer in 1926. Not to be confused with the band Aerosmith, which was not awarded a Pulitzer at all.

Zoi: How do you know all this?

Sister: Gurio's brain is a vast warehouse of useless information.

TV: "Flamingos sometimes outnumber people on this Caribbean Island. The B of these A,B,C islands."

Umino: Bonaire. [sighs sadly] My food's getting cold. Answering all the questions correctly doesn't leave me much time to eat.

TV; "The Bible for $400″

Brother: Ask and you shall receive.

[Umino brings a slice of pizza close to his mouth.]

TV: "It was Peter's original name."

Zoi: Simon.

TV: "This apostle was on route from Fair Haven to Phoenix when he and his captors were shipwrecked."

Zoi: Paul.

TV: "This fearless warrior not only led a successful counterattack against the forces of Canaan, she was also a judge."

Zoi: Deborah.

Umino: I didn't know you were religious.

Zoi: I'm not.

Sister: Then how do you know all these?

Zoi: I used to carpool to school with a family that tried to cure me through the power of AM radio.

Mrs. Umino: [alarmed] Cure you? Oh, no. Do you have cancer?

Umino: No, Mom. Zoi's gay.

Mrs. Umino: Really? How fabulous!

Sister: Awww! How come all the cute ones have to be gay?

Brother: Because only gay guys care if they're cute.

Fiance: So true.

[The game progresses with Umino defeating everyone quite easily, and Zoi has to admit to himself he's having at lot of fun. This is the normal G-Rated Norman Rockwell style social life he would have cultivated if he had never met Kunzite.]

[However he did meet Kunzite so he can not go back to the way things were supposed to be. Because of this his mood is still tinged with a bit of heartbreak and sorrow. But he is having a lot of fun in spite of it.]

TV: "Final Jeopardy: Four Republican, Two Democrat, and these two Whig presidents died while in Office."

Sister: Oh, oh! I know this one! We just talked about this in history class. It's-

Umino: William Henry Harrison and Zachary Taylor.

Sister: SHUT UP YOU JERK! [punches his arm] Harrison and Taylor!

TV: "You put down 'William Henry Harrison and Taylor.' That is correct."

Sister: YES! I WIN!

Umino: No you didn't. You got exactly one question right.

Sister: It doesn't matter! It was final jeopardy! If get that one right that makes me the winner!

Umino: No it doesn't. You're still a loser.

Sister: Fine! I don't want to play this stupid game anymore. Jeopardy sucks anyway! [shuffles up to her room and slams the door.

Mr Umino: Don't worry she'll be back in ten minutes.

[The rest of the evening progresses in the same manner, with Umino getting almost all the questions right while Zoi takes pride in answering a few that he misses. Umino's parents bring Zoi home at about 11pm. All the downstairs lights are on. Zoi would have expected just the glow of the TV in the living room.]

Mr Umino: Looks like your father's waiting up for you.

Zoi: Thank you for having me over. I had a great time.

Mr Umino: It was our pleasure.

Mrs Umino: You come over any time you want.

Zoi: Your son's a great guy, by the way. I hope you appreciate how smart he is.

Mrs Umino: Of course. And we're so glad you found a friend like you.

Zoi: [nervous] What do you mean by a friend like me?

Mrs. Umino: A friend who appreciates Gurio just the way he is. He knows he's a lot smarter than most of the people in this town, but it makes it hard for him to fit in with other kids his age, so he thinks it's a bad thing. I am so happy that he found someone who accepts him without judgement.

Zoi: Why would I judge him for being smart? Tell him I'll see him in class on Monday.

[They wait until Zoi opens the door before driving away. Zoi is in relatively high spirits, so he barely notices that the door is unlocked. His father never leaves the door unlocked after dark. But then again his father usually doesn't keep all the lights on either.]