Thanks to everyone who's reading this for taking the time to get this far :)
Special thanks to Jotunheim Storm for the awesome review - I think I'd go crazy if I were stuck on the Milano as well! Specially with the same two tapes playing over and over. Guest - thanks, that means a lot!
Cass pushed the lopsided door to her house open for what she hoped was the last time. Dust greased the hinges and sounded the usual high pitch squeal she'd listened for often. When she was younger it announced her father's return from work, giving her enough time to sneak off to one of her hiding places.
Now it echoed in the room and mixed with the heavy sounds of his drunken snores from the tattered couch. Cass stepped strategically around the room avoiding the loudest floorboards and slipped into her room. If she could pack up her things without a last confrontation with him then this would be the single best day of her life.
Nabbing a weathered bag from the top of her closet Cass suppressed a sneeze from the layer of dust that billowed up to meet her. She only needed a few things. Quickly she emptied the few clothes she'd hung in her closet, mostly old and useless but sentimental, she stuffed them into the bag. She paused when she didn't hear the snoring from the living room, frozen for a second. To her relief they garbled up into a snort and began again.
Breathing a sigh, Cass pulled up one of the many loose floorboards, revealing the few possessions she could claim as her own. A silver chain and locket that belonged to her mother, a torn family photo from when she was younger, a book of children's stories, and a small box that contained the few letters she'd received from her brother before he'd stopped replying. Cass looped the chain over her head and tucked it into her shirt, her hand grazing her chest. If she was going to be a man from now on, she had to do something about those.
Dumping her bag back out onto her thin blankets, Cass grabbed a vest she'd kept from when she was a child. It was too tight to wear comfortably anymore, constantly she told herself that she'd find another use for it, like turn it into a teddy bear. As of yet she hadn't been able to bring herself to spend time on such a useless luxury. A deprecating habit that she thanked her Sun she had. Until she found a better system it would work perfectly to press her breasts flatter to her chest. Yanking off her jacket and shirt Cass donned her new armor. There was still a slight curve to them, and her hips still dipped too much into her small waist, but baggy clothes would be enough to hide that little bit. If nothing else she would tell them that, this was just what men from her planet, Huran, looked like. That group might be her ticket off this planet but she didn't think they were all that smart, not with the way they squabbled.
Cass yanked her clothes back on and shoved the last of her things into her bag. Last thing she pulled out of her cubby hole was a small sum of money she'd been stashing away. If her father ever found these things he'd surely sell them off for drink. Ready to finally leave Cass took a step to the door and shouldered her bag, thinking twice she grabbed her blanket. Just in case.
"Where da ya think yer goin'?" Her father's drunken slur stopped her while she bundled her blanket in her arms.
Cass jolted back, and looked up to see him leaning heavily on the doorframe. "Work," she said quietly, "just going to work."
"Looks mer like yer plannin on leavin," he shambled into her room a step. His bloodshot eyes swept the empty space before landing on her again and Cass shrank back another step. He towered over her and blocked the door with his wide shoulders, one hand idly scratching his bulging gut. Drunk or not she knew he was aware that if she left he wouldn't have an income to support his drinking or weekly drug binges. She'd tried to leave before, but it was a small town and it turned out that if the drama was juicy enough people were willing to spread it around. He'd found her a week later, holed up in an abandoned a Boron factory.
"I'd never…I mean…of course not." Cass's eyes flicked to the door behind him desperately. "We're family after all."
"Damn right!" Her father boomed, "an family looks…af-ter one another," he slurred through what her mother used to tell them every day. When she said those words, Cass felt safe, knowing her father, mother, and brother would always be there for her. Now, it just sounded like a sentence in prison.
"I should go," Cass kept her head down and tried to skirt as far from him as possible, pressing against the door so she didn't have to touch him.
His large hand clamped down on her throat, shoving her back into the creaking wood. Cass dropped the blanket and clawed at his thick fingers. "I didn't say ya could leave," he growled, the thick scent of booze made her head spin.
"I got…work…please," Cass gasped, closing her eyes and trying to turn away.
"You ain't got shit," her father growled, shoving her roughly against the door and squeezing tighter.
Desperate, Cass lifted her leg and tried to knee him between the legs, but her aim was off and she only managed to jab him in the thigh. Letting go of his hand, she shoved her palms against his face and jabbed one into his eye.
"Bitch!" Her father cried and easily tossed her into the hall, she barely caught herself on the wall as she stumbled to the ground. Before she could fully turn down the hall and make her escape the back of his large hand struck her in the face. Cass was knocked off her feet and hit the hall floor with a dull thud and billow of dust, it choked her when she gasped in pain.
Cass staggered to her feet and squeezed her eyes shut against the tears of pain and dust that gritted behind her lids when she blinked. His heavy footfalls here directly behind her, but she was faster. Darting to the front door before he'd even made it fully out of the hall.
"Git yer ass back here!" Her father screamed after her when she swung the squealing door open and it slammed against the wall. "Ya selfish whore!" She heard him scream while she flew down the street. Several people glanced up, curious to see what new tiff was occurring this week.
Cass cut back to the alleys and continued to run until her lungs burned and her heavy breathing was suppressed into shallow gasps by the vest. Only then did she slow down, continuously glancing behind herself. There wasn't any way that he would have been able to run past the first two houses, but she was terrified. Her hands shook when she ran them through her hair and she swayed to a stop, her knees giving out just before the ship yard.
There was still plenty of time before the three hour dead line. Cass scooted to a wall and pressed her back into it for support, squeezing her eyes closed. That was the last time she'd have to deal with him, she reminded herself. A garbage can shifted down the alley and Cass jumped. A man threw a bag a second bag into the bin and didn't spare her a glance.
Pressing a hand to her heart she willed it to slow down. He'd never get this far, he'd never be able to find her here. Cass slowed her breathing and stared up at the sky between the shambled rooftops. She wouldn't miss this sky, or these buildings, and not these people who so easily turned a blind eye to her suffering. She'd never be that kind of person, Cass promised herself. She'd find a nice planet where people were civilized, where they cared about one another, only then would she call a place home. Until then at least she was free.
Free. The word bounced around in her head today like it had so many other times. Only today it wasn't in wanting, it was a reality. Free because of the crew that called themselves the Guardian's. What a silly name. They didn't look like the sort that she'd trust to guard anything. At least not together, all she'd heard was bickering, what sort of team bickered that much?
Then again who was she to judge? Only a little bit ago she'd played along and let them think she was a guy. Cass covered her face with her hands and winced when her fingers brushed her slowly swelling cheek. Why'd she do that? What was wrong with them knowing she was a woman? They'd stated that they were looking for a woman, so why not just be one?
Cass gingerly ran her fingers along her neck. It didn't sting nearly as much but there would be bruising. Idly she pushed the dirt away from herself with the heels of her work boots. Now that she was going to be leaving she had the opportunity to be whoever she wanted. Strong, weak, loud, quiet, optimistic, pessimistic, she could start from scratch.
Quiet sadness crept up on Cass, echoing through a familiar hollow place in her chest. All she wanted to be was herself. In the infinite possibilities that laid out before her, she just wanted to be the one person she'd always repressed, but even now she'd ruined that chance before she knew she had it. Standing up slowly and dusting her butt off Cass scanned the shipyard from her hidden space between the buildings. She'd never been good at hiding what she was feeling, her mother had told her that she had a tear in her chest that showed the world how she felt. Somehow she'd convince them she was a man, and then when she found the right planet she'd jump ship and leave this crew to flounder in their mess.
Glancing at a clock that he'd rigged up only moments after they'd returned to the Milano, Rocket growled quietly. Only a half hour left until they would take off. With or without Caden. Rocket turned back to his trigger switch and pulled one of the wires uneasily. Not that he cared if the guy made it or anything.
"But you do," Groot grabbed the side of his work table and pulled himself up to look at the surface. He hadn't quite gotten to the point where he could grow on a whim, and only stood at about Rocket's size, but he was getting there.
"No I don't," Rocket growled, moving a twisted knot of wire out of the little tree's reach. Ever since the episode on the Dark Aster he'd become like a child again.
"You sure?" Groot tottered around Rocket's chair, and waved his arm over the other side of the table.
"Not even a little, he's hiding something," Rocket disagreed, sliding a pair of pliers away from the edge. He'd admit he was shocked when Caden had offered him his hand to shake. Normally people didn't bother with him since they considered him a vermin. Rocket's lips drew away from his teeth with a low growl at the sound of the word.
"Aren't you?" Groot pouted at the lack of tools within his reach and a small white flower sprouted slowly from his arm. Rocket watched with idle amusement as the petals unfurled.
"Not the same thing," Rocket shoved his project away and glanced back at the clock. Where was the guy?
"Is it not?" Groot asked, becoming distracted by the little flower.
"No, my problems are private," Rocket snapped, but his harsh words didn't seem to faze Groot in the slightest. "You're just a kid, what do you know?" Rocket grabbed his project again and refused to look at the clock. He regretted the jab he'd made at Groot but knew the big guy didn't care. Groot never cared when Rocket made a jab at him, which was probably the reason he'd been able to stand hanging around him so long.
"Don't believe you," Groot said, tottering away from the table with the wad of wires clutched happily in his wooden fingers.
"Where did you get-?" Rocket's tail fluffed up in agitation and he jumped from his seat and snatched the wires from his friend's hands. Sadness swept across Groot's face and his shoulders slumped. Rocket would never get used to seeing Groot at his own height and wished he'd hurry and finish growing so things could be the way they were before. "Fine, here," reluctantly Rocket threw the wires back. He hated to see him sad. "Maybe you're right, but I don't like him, just a small amount of intrigue." Rocket admitted to Groot, but he'd only admit it to Groot. It wasn't like he could tell anyone else.
Rocket hopped back into his chair and snatched his trigger again. It wasn't like he would be disappointed if the guy didn't make it though.
"But you will," Groot said, sitting against the leg of his chair and turning the wire in his palms.
"Will not," Rocket grumbled quietly when he heard footsteps in the room behind him.
"I'll never hear anything other than 'I am Groot' will I?" Quill asked, pulling a bottle of water out of the cooler. "Have you always understood him?"
"No, it just came to me in a dream one night like magic," Rocket grumbled, "Cameron's almost out of time." He waved to the clock with the back of his pliers.
"Caden," Gamora corrected, glancing at the empty doorway with the smallest hint of agitation.
"Yea, yea, whatever," Rocket waved off her correction. He knew what the guys name was, he just didn't care.
"Do you think Quill's sexual advancement made the small Huran male uncomfortable?" Drax asked. Rocket rolled his eyes and groaned, exaggeratedly running his paws down his face. Why did they have to bring the brainless muscle with them?
"What?" Quill asked, choking on his water. "There were no sexual advancements. Zero advancements. None what-so-ever." Quill continued to deny, leaning awkwardly back against the wall with a laugh.
"But I saw you grasp his shoulder as such," Drax mimicked Quill's earlier movement on Gamora.
"Oh Drax, don't flirt with me like that," Gamora said in a flat tone.
Unaware as usual Drax removed his hand and shook his head. "Do not worry green whore, it was just an example, I see you as nothing more than a friend."
A muscle tightened in Gamora's jaw but to her credit she didn't try to stab Drax. Rocket had to admit that there were distinct down falls to his friendship. Unable to watch their argument any longer he turned back to his project.
"He will come," Groot assured him.
"Yes, you are Groot," Quill leaned down and patted Groot on the head like he was some sort of pet.
"Am I late?" A breathless voice joined the conversation.
"Did I sexually advance on you?" Quill asked immediately, drawing an awkward 'umm' from the new guy. Great, now they were coming off as creepy and stupid. Rocket yanked a wire out of the trigger.
"I don't think we've met," Caden extended his hand to Groot. Even from where he was sitting he could see the slight tremor that was running through the new guy. What was his deal? Groot looked at the hand and back up to the guy, and grabbed it loosely. He was just as shocked as Rocket had been at being noticed as one of the guys.
"I am Groot," Groot held on longer than necessary.
"He's not real good at this sort of civilized thing," Rocket said with a shrug. "Numb-skull you're supposed to release that hand after the shake."
"We leave in fifteen minutes on the dot," Gamora announced. "If you have any regrets get off the ship now." As usual Gamora was right to the point, Rocket watched out of the corner of his eye to see if the new guy turned to leave.
"No, I'm good," he smiled and ran his hand through his hair. Red splotched the side of his face and neck.
Groot nudged him with his elbow and pointed to the red spots. "He's been hurt."
The group looked to Groot and then Rocket, expecting an explanation. Those red marks hadn't been there in the bar before. Rocket dropped his eyes from them. Everyone had the right to keep their pain silent. The weight of his own scars pulled on his back.
"He said, 'what's your name?" Rocket lied.
"Oh I'm sorry, my names…Caden." The new guy hesitated on his name once again. Rocket didn't like how he kept doing that. It made him feel un-easy and his tail twitched. No matter what, he was going to figure out what was up with this guy.
"I like him," Groot put the straightened out wires back on Rocket's table and followed right behind the new guy as Gamora showed him where he would be staying.
"You just met him, how do you know?" Rocket mumbled. Something about the guy didn't settle right with him, like he wasn't what he said he was.