Chapter 79: Nephrite the Thrice Cursed

[Scene: A parking lot for a strip mall in Downtown Hen Tie. Neffy is walking to the jewelry store with Mrs. Cope from the Hen Tie High Administrative office.]

Mrs. Cope: So there was Ms Haruna, sitting there in her powder pink suit, eating a calzone with a big bowl of marinara sauce perched at the end of the table. I told her it was going to fall over, but does she listen to me? Nooo. I've just been the top admin at Hen Tie High for fifteen year what do I know?

[Neffy is smiling fondly and giving her his undivided attention.]

Mrs. Cope: Anyway. It's almost the teachers' turn to line up at the podium and collect their awards, so she stands up, and guess that happens?

Neffy: The bowl falls over?

Mrs. Cope: The bowl of marinara sauce tipped over and landed right on her lap. It looked like…well I don't have to tell you what it looked like. She started wailing that she couldn't get up on stage looking like that. So what does my husband do?

Neffy: I don't know, what did your husband do?

Mrs Cope: [infuriated] He lent her his raincoat.

Neffy: [stunned disbelief] No. He didn't!

Mrs Cope: He did! He didn't even ask my permission! He just grabbed it from his chair and handed it to and told her everything would be ok. But it gets worse.

Neffy: I don't see how.

Mrs Cope: She rushes into the bathroom and when she came out, she was holding her suit. Can you believe it? My husband of twenty years hands her his coat and she immediately gets undressed so she can feel it up against her skin.

Neffy: Shameless. Shameless and unforgivable.

Mrs Cope: She claimed she just wanted to wash her suit so the stains wouldn't set but I know better…. Ms Haruna got up on stage to accept her award wearing my Craig's coat. In front of the entire faculty and staff. I was never so humiliated.

Neffy: [snarls] It almost sounds like she had the whole thing planned. Just to make you look like a fool.

Mrs Cope: I know! I know! Craig claimed he was just being polite, but you know how predatory these single women are?

Neffy: [shakes his head] How disgraceful. I think if a woman can't find a husband of her own, she has no business trying to steal another woman's.

Mrs. Cope: [grips his well muscled arm] That's what I say!

Neffy: What would she have done if your husband wasn't there?

Mrs. Cope: Exactly! That's what I wanted to know! But he said he was there, so he felt it was the only honorable thing for him to do.

[Glances at Mrs. Cope's hand which is still on his arm]

Neffy: Frankly, I don't even understand how he can look at her, when he's got a rare catch like you. You're so selfless and noble. You work so hard, like an unsung hero, shaping young lives, and rarely do you get the accolades you deserve for your role in molding future generations. You deserve to be pampered. And I know just the thing for you.

[They enter the Osa-P jewlelry store.]

Mrs. Osaka: Good morning. Mrs. Cope, Mr. O'Sama.

Neffy: Do you still have that stunning emerald pendant you had in your showcase last week. I want to show it to my friend.

Mrs Osaka: I sure do. [Reaches into a display and pulls on exquisite emerald set in a pendant, perfectly round and alligator green, with flashes of yellow and orange fire.]

Mrs. Cope: Oh, my, that is stunning.

Neffy: The woman who wears this will command respect from all who see her.

Mrs Cope: Oh…I couldn't…How much is it?

Mrs Osaka: I can give you the promotional price we ran last week, and sell it to you for only $45,000.

Mrs Cope: Oh, I'm afraid that's a little out of my price range.

Neffy: [holds the emerald out to her] How can you put a price on such majesty? Such a jewel is fit for a queen. No, an empress! Wear this, and people will know you are not a woman to be trifled with.

Mrs Cope: [wavering] Oh, but I couldn't. Even if I had that much, everything in is Craig's name as well as mine, and he wouldn't understand or approve.

Neffy: Not everything. You could cash out a 401K, and he'd never have know about it.

Mrs Cope: [weakening further] Oh, but I need that money for retirement.

Neffy: Retirement? That's like what, forty years away?

Mrs Cope: [giggles] A little less than forty.

Neffy: You could be hit by a truck next week, and what good would your 401K do you then? And even when you reach retirement age, how would that $45,000 compare to a lifetime of beautiful memories. This pendant will alter your destiny. I just know it.

Mrs Osaka: Would you like to try it on? Here is a thick gold chain that goes with it.

Mrs Cope: Oh…I mustn't …

Neffy: No. You must.

[Mrs Osaka puts the pendant on the chain and holds out the necklace to Mrs. Cope, but it falls from her hand as both women faint and slump to the floor.

Neffy: What the—

[No sooner does Neffy turn around then he sees Kunzite]

Neffy: Damn it, Kunzite. You picked a hell of a time and a place for a feeding. I've been grooming that witch for a week.

[A thick chain appears between them. One side of the chain ending in an iron collar around Neffy's neck and then other in an iron cuff around Kunzite's wrist.]

Neffy: What the hell?

[Neffy pulls at the collar, which is locked tight. He tries to direct dark energy at Kunzite, but instead it travels down the chain and is absorbed by Kunzite.]

Kunzite: Don't worry. So long as you wear that chain you will be unable to escape me, or focus any of your dark energy.

Neffy: What is the meaning of this? Release me at once!

Kunzite: That would be a terrible idea. [smiles] In a few seconds you are going to come to the shocking realization that this chain is the only thing that is keeping you alive.