Disclaimer, I do not own these characters I am just using them.
Leonard and Penny stood in the doorway to 4A , with the Shamy in front of them " Well here's your key " Penny said " Thank you " came from Amy.
"Enjoy having the place to yourselves" Sheldon replies
"You enjoy your mission to boldly go where no man has gone before". replied Leonard.
Sheldon smiles looking at Amy before answering " It's Penny's bedroom , plenty of men have gone before".
Penny was shocked at what he said, Leonard was angry that Sheldon was implying Penny was a slut it wasn't the first time either but now she was his wife and he wasn't going to stand for it.
"Now now theres no need to make this emotional " Penny replies sarcastically .
Leonard however was angry at what Sheldon said so decided to let Sheldon know how he felt "How dare you say that about Penny!" Leonard said angrily she hasn't been with that many men for you to call her a slut".
Sheldon was stunned at Leonard's outburst " I was doing no such thing I was just pointing out how many men have been in her bed".
Leonard was getting even more annoyed" And saying that IS implying she was a slut, you have no idea how many men have been in her bed".
"Actually I do "
"WHAT!, how could you possibly no that?"
"Well six years ago on my first date with Amy I pointed out that I had seen Penny with atleast seventeen different guys using that and Penny's age when she first started dating I calculated she had dated 193 men and had sex with 31 of them.
Leonard just looked at him then turned to Penny" Is that true?" all Penny could do is nod.
"How did you reach those numbers?".
"I thought it would be quite obvious even to someone like you, In the three years that i'd known her she was single for two. During that time I saw 17 different suitors, working backwards correcting for observation bias and postulating an intial dating age of 15. which Penny corrected to 14 now assuming the left side of a bell curve peaking round at that time that would bring the total to 193 men, plus or minus eight men.
"Now the number of men Penny slept with I came to by calculating based on the number of awkward encounters i'd had with strange men leaving her apartment, plus the number of times she'd returned home wearing clothes she wore the night before. I multiplied 193 men men 21 men before the loss virginity, which was 172 times 0.8 gave us 30.98 sexual partners which I rounded up to 31".
Leonard was stunned at how Sheldon had come to his number, however he did feel uncomfortable with Sheldon reminding him of all the guys Penny had dated before him. He felt Penny grab his hand and squeeze as though she knew what he was thinking in that moment, choosing to focus on Sheldon's calculations instead now.
"Well did the great mind of Sheldon Cooper forget that when we first day we met Penny she told us that she had been living with Kurt for four years , so she must of been dating him before then so that would make your calculation inaccurate".
Sheldon looked at him surprised and slightly annoyed " No I didn't ".
"So your numbers are wrong then aren't they "
"Well I wouldn't say that"
"What would you call it?"
"I made a slight miscalculation"
"Slight miscalculation, you where way off and you owe Penny a apology for making such ridiculous claims about how many guys she's been with"
"I don't think I was that far off "
Penny finally spoke " You where way off with both"
"Fine then I apologize for making that assumption and for different partners she's had".
Leonard wanted to take just that but he remembered all the times Sheldon had made comments about Penny and her supposed promiscuity ".
"That's not enough I want you to apologize for every time you said something like that about Penny"
"What are you talking about ?"
"Well I want you to apologize for the claim you just made about how many guys have shared her bed, I want you to apologize for for when you made a similar comment in the comic book store. You remember don't you when I was talking to Howard about if Penny had kept some guys off her list and you said what was it? or right 'I'm sure she did otherwise she would still be wading through the list' . Then when I asked you to stay out of it, do you remember what you said? well I do you said' If only Penny had said that' . Or when we where in our apartment and wanted to talk to you about living arrangements and you said ' Of course She's spent many nights here, and you're worried about preserving the myth of her virginity before the wedding' .I said i'm not and you followed it up with ' Good, because not only has that ship sailed, if it hit an iceberg, countless men would perish'.
Hearing all this was making Penny angrier by the minute and as if on auto pilot she stepped up to Sheldon.
Sheldon was about to comment but before he could say anything he felt a extreme pain in his groin as Penny's knee connected , if that wasn't enough he then felt a sharp pain on his nose. He fell to the floor and curled up with his hands between his legs and blood running out of his nose , amongst the shock and pain he realized what Penny had done. Penny just looked at him for moment anger still clearly evident on her face , before eventually turning around and calling him a ass before heading into her apartment.
Leonard was surprised but smiled Sheldon deserved it after all the insults he'd thrown there way over the years and always getting away with it , well up until now.
Leonard leaned over to the fallen Sheldon holding his nose as blood trickled down " You deserved that and to quote Leslie Winkle, Dumb Ass".
With that followed his wife into their apartment with a huge smile on his face, leaving and hurt Sheldon and shocked Amy out in the hall.
THE END.
