Chapter 4
Kurt was watching the road but talking to Quinn as he slowed for a set of traffic lights on red.
"It was pretty brave of you to tell everyone what happened," he admitted.
"Thanks Kurt, but I should have said something sooner. I don't like deceiving people."
"You didn't, you simply kept the truth to yourself until you felt comfortable enough to let other people know."
"I think you're braver than me, probably than the rest of us added together." She texted her mom to let her know she was on her way home and then another to Rachel to thank her for the party.
He shrugged. It was perhaps a little true and he could admit that to himself.
"Maybe, but it doesn't mean it was any easier for you."
She also nodded at the truth of the situation.
"We're both superheroes then?" she quipped and he laughed.
They pulled away as the lights changed.
"Why did you kiss Santana? I wouldn't have guessed the ice queen persona could slip so easily."
A wry smile spread across Quinn's lips. "I like messing with her because she enjoys messing with everyone else, but doesn't appreciate the taste of her own medicine."
Kurt laughed again, but then the laugh died. "Don't be too hard on her. I know she seems tough but she's not really. I think its just self-preservation."
"I know it is," Quinn confirmed. "It takes one to know one, right?"
—
Quinn woke in a bit of a disoriented state. She was groggy and her head was thick. She tried to open her eyes but they just refused. It took a while to make any sense of her thoughts.
The party.
I only had a couple of beers over the course of about four hours. I shouldn't feel this bad, she ruminated.
Something bleeped and for a moment, she thought it was her alarm going off.
Please don't let it be time to get up yet.
Cracking open an eye, it was still dark but she panicked. This was not her room. She finally worked out she was lying on her side and tried to throw off the sheets but her arms hurt as for the first time, she attempted moving.
"Shit!" she yelped. What had happened to me? Where am I? A thousand horrid thoughts ran through her brain, mostly involving being kidnapped by Puck; he was always leering at her.
I swear I'm never drinking again, she promised herself silently.
There was movement in the room. She couldn't see, but she could hear it.
"Quinn? Baby are you awake?" Her mom. Thank god. She hadn't been kidnapped. So where was she?
"Mom?" Her voice didn't even sound right. Hoarse and croaky instead of soft and velvety. And it hurt to speak.
"Oh my gosh, baby you're awake."
Suddenly her mom was sort of in her view. She got sight of her rib cage the other side of the railing. Quinn's eyes went wide as a night light came on and she could finally see some of the room.
"Hosp…" her voice sounded strangled. She tried again. "Hospital? What happened?"
"Everything's alright honey," a hand stroked her head and cupped her cheek. "I'm here and you're okay."
"Hurts," she choked out.
"I know, but the nurse will give you something. Just stay calm." Judy's hands moved to Quinn's own and she responded to her mom's gentle squeeze.
"Oh, thank God," her mom probably didn't mean to say that out loud.
Quinn raised her arm which felt heavy and saw the IV lines running into her. Reaching with the other hand she tried to pull them free in panic but found her hands being held down by her mom.
"Calm down, Quinn. Please don't try to move, you'll hurt yourself." She slowly released Quinn's hands again and brushed hair back from her face. "Ssh, baby. You're okay. I'm calling the nurse now." Her mother's voice again, though her face was hidden behind a surgical mask.
How long had she been out of it? Why was she here? What happened?
The questions played over and over in her mind. The last things she remembered was…. Santana slapping her! Then she got in the car with Kurt to go home and they were driving. She didn't remember anything else really.
"Kurt?"
"He's fine, a few scratches really, sprained wrist. Nothing serious. The airbags went off so he was cushioned."
Airbags?
Car crash.
Oh.
The nurse came in and referred to her as Sleeping Beauty so she must have been out for a while. Everything hurt from what she could make out. She didn't try to move again.
And then nothing.
The next time she woke, she was on her opposite side and could see some light through the blinds so it must have been early morning at a guess. She could sort of see a shape under the window which moved.
"Mom?"
"You're awake," the shape moved and became clearer as she stepped up to the bed and stroked her face once more. The warmth ran into her skin and she thought she was smiling but couldn't really tell. Everything felt a bit odd, fuzzy.
"Are you in pain?"
Quinn thought about the question and tested it out. She tried to move her body and found that pain ripped through it, even her arms moving caused pain in her chest, neck and back.
"What the hell?"
"Don't try to move, honey. Do you remember what happened?"
"No. Car crash?"
"It's okay, baby. Just rest."
The nurse came in again and called her Sunshine this time. It was better than Sleeping Beauty at least.
And then nothing.
The next time she wakes, she's lying on her back and there are voices talking quietly. Quinn opens her eyes and sees her mom stood at the end of the bed with someone in a white coat. Her mom looks tired and upset around the eyes, but is nodding her head. She can't quite make out what they are saying. Things are still fuzzy.
"Mom?"
"Hey there," the doctor, she assumes the guy is a doctor, turns and smiles. Her mom gives her a watery smile as well.
He moves around the railings and rubs a hand reassuringly along her upper arm.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Hurts," she says and closes her eyes.
"It's going to for a while. You were pretty banged up."
She moves a hand slowly to her face and collides with something hard around her neck. A momentary flash of confusion follows as she traces it with her fingers.
"Whiplash?"
The doctor looks relieved that her brains aren't scrambled. He's wearing a mask too but it's easy to see what people's eyes are saying.
"I know everything feels a little confused but they will become clearer as we keep reducing the sedatives. We kept you out for a few days to get over the worst and now you're on the mend we can wean you off them."
"What happened?"
"You don't remember?"
She tried to shake her head and then regretted it. "No," she croaked.
"Try not to worry, things might come back to you over the next day or so."
They weren't telling her but she didn't understand why.
"Why?" she couldn't seem to form the sentence she wanted to.
Her mom was on the other side and seemed to understand better what she was asking. "They want to see if your memory comes back on it's own, honey. It's alright if you don't remember."
"What is the last thing you do remember?" The doctor wanted to know.
"Leaving Rachel's, getting in the car with Kurt. Talking to him. He's okay?"
"Kurt is fine. Do you remember me telling you last night?" Her mom reached across again and tucked her hair behind her ear as best she could with the neck brace on.
"Yeah, I think." Quinn reached up and touched her lips, they felt dry and chapped. Her brows knitted together wondering how when she was indoors.
Noticing her mom did something and then suddenly her lips felt cooler and moist.
"Drink of water?" She croaked.
The doctor moved back in her field of vision. "We have you on IV fluids right now so no water but you can have some ice chips."
Quinn frowned in disgust at not getting what she wanted. "Why masks?" She finally got her brain to start firing.
"You had surgery, baby, three days ago."
"Surgery?" Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "What for?"
Her mom's gaze went to the doctor and he nodded confirming they could tell her.
"You suffered injuries to your spine, sweetheart. They had to shave off some bone from your hip and use it to repair the bones in your lower back and neck.
Quinn's eyes moved to her arm. Her mom had taken her right hand and lifted it slightly. She could see a white band around her wrist. A bruise ran along her forearm up to her elbow. It was purple. It had been a few days then. Probably three or four.
"What day is it?" The party was on Saturday.
"Thursday," her mom confirmed.
Five days. She had been out of it for five days.
Quinn closed her eyes briefly and heard voices mumbling again. Forcing them back open, she found her mom still holding her hand.
"You were out for few minutes, baby."
It had felt like seconds not minutes but everything was still so blurry.
"They need to take you for some tests," her mom smiled, though it appeared she was upset.
"Beth?"
"She's with grandma and grandpa. I'll call and get them to bring her over now you can have some visitors."
Quinn closed her eyes again and drifted back off for another few moments.
Wait a minute!
"What happened to my back?" She suddenly got her eyes brain and mouth to work together.
She looked at her mom but Judy's eyes closed for a moment, so the doctor spoke instead.
"Are you ready to hear the details, Quinn or would you like some more time to recover first?"
"Time? I don't understand." She tried to turn her head but frustratingly he was too far away for her to look. "Can you move so I can see you, please?"
A moment later, he appeared. He gave her a soft smile and seemed genuinely nice. It was a shame that his next words ruined her entire life.
"Just tell me what happened, please."
"Quinn you were sideswiped by the other vehicle and you fell sideways across the centre console of the car. Your head hit your friend Kurt's arm and the force of the impact and twisting motion to the side caused fractures in your spine. You have an injury in your neck at C6 and another in your back at T8."
She let the words sink in.
"The side air bags protected Kurt from the impact, but you fell away from them. The fracture in your neck has been stabilised and apart from having to wear the neck brace for a few weeks until the graft hardens, there is no residual damage to your spinal cord but the lower injury is in your thoracic spine and there's considerable damage to your spinal cord, Quinn. I'm very sorry, but you are paralysed from the bottom of your rib cage down, most likely permanently."
Quinn choked.
She hadn't been expecting total blunt honesty without sugar coating.
"You will need to keep the brace on your chest for a few weeks and then we can gradually reduce the amount of time it needs to stay on."
"Mom?"
"I'm here, baby. Don't worry. Everything will be okay."
"But I'm paralysed?" She still wasn't sure this was for real.
Her mom pulled off her mask for a moment and leaned over to kiss her daughter's forehead. "They took very good care of you, Quinn, but this type of injury apparently…." Judy ran out of words to explain. "I'm so sorry, but you'll get through this, baby. I promise. Your friends have all been calling to check how you are and the doctor says you can have visitors now. Just a few at a time."
"I want Beth," she croaked.
"You'll see her soon, baby. I promise."
Quinn cried for a while and her mom held her until she stopped. The doctor went and a nurse arrived with ice chips and instructions to take her for another MRI. Apparently she'd had one before the surgery and now they needed another, as well as X-rays to see that the surgery had been okay.
The blonde kept breaking down in tears and the staff consoled her repeatedly. The nurse who kept giving her nicknames was especially nice and helped her feel better for a while.
Her grandparents arrived with Beth an hour later and were waiting for Quinn when she arrived back from the barrage of tests and scans.
Beth was too young to even be scared about what she saw around her. The one thing the baby knew was that she missed her mommy, and on seeing her brought back into the room, her face broke into a huge smile and giggle. For Quinn, it was the only thing that felt good about life at that moment.
—