Title: Against the rules

Chapter 02: Chérie

/.\

Widowmaker's POV

Emotion.

It's an odd feeling.

Yet… so… anchoring.

As the door of the cargo ship fully closes, I thought that all these strange emotions would go away. Now that I'm not so close to the infectious Brit.

But that would be too easy, wouldn't it?

My heart still beats at an abnormal pace, odd sensations roll through my body and my mind cannot focus on anything but that brunette.

A feeling that I haven't felt for a long time comes harder than any other, well, I can't remember feeling it before, but the pain is so similar.

Guilt.

My mind seems to name it without any challenge, making me wonder why I would feel guilty now and not for any other of my missions. Why now?

Tracer.

My heart flutters at the thought of her name. My tongue begs to be able to roll it off my lips but I wouldn't let myself. I would look pretty crazy looking at a cargo door while saying her name.

Mind you, I look crazy just staring at a cargo door. I look to the ground and shut my eyes tight. We need to banish these emotions before he finds out.

I sigh, pushing them all out along with my breath before lifting my chin and turning around. I stride towards the sitting area of the ship. Knowing he'll be there so I can tell him how the mission went.

I don't know why he could just look at the footage but he seems to like it from my point of view.

I step into a small room that is lined with chairs and overhead box holders. This room leads directly to the cockpit and I look at the two pilots that are currently discussing the best way back to base.

At least they're not talking about Tracer following us.

Stop.

One of the chairs is already occupied, a bulky man that covers his being with black clothes and a strange mask that is supposed to match with the grim reaper. It looks more like a Halloween costume.

I take a seat one seat away from him. Making sure there is distance. I've never liked being close to people. Physically and emotionally.

Tracer would be an exception to that.

Stop.

"How'd it go?" I heard his gruff voice from under the mask. His head tilting to me slightly to let me be aware that he's talking to me.

"You should know you've watched it." I grumble back to him. Not wanting to repeat the events knowing that those strange emotions will come back.

"I did. That Tracer girl was a little unexpected." He replied, not giving way to my snappy comment earlier. He, however, puts a tone in his voice when he says her name. It's almost like he's joking her.

Anger flares up in my chest at his unnecessary tone but quickly hide it. He can't know that I feel like this because he'll find out about all the other emotions too.

After not getting a reply from me, he continues his afterkill talk. "Second time she's come into your mission since your last wipe. Do you remember her?" He asks, trying to make up more of a conversation.

I don't give him the satisfaction of having a full conversation and just nod while playing with the gun in my hands. Clicking safety on and off, pulling the clip in and out.

"Is she starting to get on your nerves, little spider?" Reaper says in reply to my quietness, obviously reading into it wrong and thinking that I don't like the girl when it's completely opposite.

However, this could benefit me. If he thinks I hate her, he would never suspect the feelings that roll through me every time I think of her. He may even let me remember her.

I growl softly, giving him a hateful glare.

"Oh ho oh, she is. If she's got you this riled up I don't know what will happen the next time you see her." He chuckles to himself, almost poking fun at me and my faked anger.

"I won't remember her the next time I see her. My wipe is scheduled when we get back to base." I reply to him, almost letting the sadness show. I don't want to forget about her.

"Oh fuck no. You're not forgetting about her. I want to see the next time you two meet. I'll call it off." He says, causing me to snap my head to him with a questioning but hopeful look.

"I'll talk to the big boss about it but right now, I want you to remember this bitch for your next meeting. Oh I can't wait." I almost giggles to himself sitting back in his chair as he thinks about how it could turn out.

I sit back to think about how I'd keep her safe from Talon. Because I don't want her to get hurt. Nor do I want her to be punished for being too close.

This whole situation is bad.

It's against my rules.

/.\

Once we touch down, I step off the ship to meet with a group of scientists that work on me to make sure I'm the perfect weapon.

Reaper is close behind. Needing to speak with the scientists with what needs doing.

I stop a couple of steps away from the group as Reaper steps in front and starts telling them what to do.

But a couple of things catch my attention.

"-make it so she doesn't need to take medication and don't do a memory wipe-"

Why would he not want me to take medication? I've always took medication. How will they do it? Pain is inevitable. I catch one of the younger scientists staring at my body like it's off a meat rack.

I bite my tongue. I hate this part. They all do it. I'm just a sex object to them. But I try not to let it bother me. Try.

An image of me snapping a scientists neck because they commented on my beauty came to mind. No one ever spoke about it since.

My body, it's not beautiful. It's the skin of a monster with the heart of a wild creature. Nothing about my appearance is beautiful. Nothing about me is beautiful.

Soon enough Reaper stops talking and bids me fairwell before leaving me in the hands of the scientists.

Great. Just what I want.

/.\

I clench my teeth tight. After a while, the pain becomes bearable. Straps hold my naked body down to the cold surface of the worktable. A blade cuts deep into the inside of my upper arm, no care for how gentle it is but how it gets the job done.

A scientist roughly jams something into my arm, I feel it tap my bone as they push it in as deep as it'll go before they carelessly stitch up the gorge they created.

Another scar. At least this one is concealed by the suit I'm forced to wear.

They spray a quick heal onto my arm and the muscle tissue instantly regrows over the new implant.

They pull the stitches out without any care before healing the torn skin.

It's almost like they're trying to make me hurt. Trying to make me feel pain.

But I'm numb to it all now.

/.\

I lay in the hard bed of my quarters. Being the best assassin of Talon has its perks. I used to stay in the general quarters where everyone else stayed.

But since they saw my worth, I guess they tried to make it nicer for me. My room is a simple 3x3 meter box. With a single bed, a sideways pole to hang clothes and a desk with a simple metal chair.

I guess this is home. I don't really have anywhere else and no one who cares about me.

I guess Reaper cares about me at a stretch but it's not the same.

I've almost forgotten my true name it's been so long since it's been used. But I guess it's not a bad thing. It shows no one is close to me. And I like it that way.

Well, that's what I tell myself.

My mind wonders back to the orange clad British before too long. Our last interactions becoming fairly interesting to analyze.

Her thighs straddling my waist. They clench slightly but not enough for watchers to notice. Her unforgiving eyes looking down at me with such confusion, like she thought I'd be different than what I am. Did she want me to be good? To not be a killer? Her lips so plump and soft that I want to connect my own to hers.

I smile, thinking about her. A warmth flows through my chest at how close we were. I've never had a desire for anyone like I do for her. Is it because she's supposed to be on the opposite team to me? Or is it something more?