Thanks for the reviews and the questions - if I answer them, I would just be giving the story away, so I am going to refrain from replying for now. Things will become clearer in time.

The usual disclaimer applies

Chapter 7

December 2010, Columbus

"Rach, what were you thinking?"

"I like the picture, I thought you would."

"I do, honestly, but did you read the size of the thing?"

"Erm….I confess that the size might have escaped me."

"Five thousand pieces, Rach! Five thousand! The thing's half the size of my room."

Rachel sighed. "I'm really sorry. It's just, you said you were a little bored and missing everyone during the week. I thought you would be happy with something absorbing to keep you busy and your mind off the other stuff."

Quinn smiled. Rachel was just so sincere.

"I really like it, I just can't find anywhere big enough to put it together."

There was a chuckle on the end of the line.

"When you come visit me this weekend, I'm making you find somewhere to put the thing."

"You haven't started it yet?"

There was a small noise on the end of the line.

"Quinn?"

"Quinn?" Rachel had to wait a moment for her friend to reply.

"I haven't been feeling too great the last couple of weeks."

"Why didn't you say? What's wrong?"

Again a brief silence.

"I've been working on some stuff; it kind of had me distracted."

"That sounds exciting."

"It's not, really. I'd rather not talk about it actually."

Rachel was taken aback. Quinn was always a little closed off but not usually dismissive.

"Is something wrong? You're not sick or anything."

"I'm not sick. It's just complicated. My injury is just … complicated."

Rachel realised Quinn didn't want to talk about whatever it was because she was embarrassed by it.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for asking." She paused briefly. "Are you talking to someone about this? I mean a professional. You really should. I understand that you wouldn't want to tell me everything. I'm not very discreet, I know, but it's good to get things off your chest."

The line stayed quiet for a while.

"I go to counselling, but it's not like talking to friends."

"We're here if you need us."

"I know. I didn't mean to be so …abrupt. Sorry, Rach. It's just difficult to know what to say. I don't want to upset everyone."

Rachel's heart was literally breaking at the words she heard. Quinn was struggling and she just didn't know what to say to help. She glanced at her watch. It was almost five o'clock.

"I'm going to come and see you this evening. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"You don't need to do that, Rach. It's a school night and it's too far."

"I don't have any homework due in tomorrow that I haven't already finished. I'm going to call my dad and ask him to drive me."

"No, please don't. I don't want to ruin your dad's evening either. I'm fine."

Rachel didn't argue.

"Okay, but promise you'll call if you need anything."

"I will."

Rachel put the phone down after saying goodbye but then immediately called her dad.

Two hours later, Rachel walked into Wexner.

—

"So where are we putting it?" She snuck her head around Quinn's door.

"Rach, what are you doing here?" Quinn was sat in bed watching TV. Her room mate was asleep so she signalled to be quiet.

Rachel watched as Quinn took a deep breath and took a wooden board from beside the bed, using it to bridge the gap between the mattress and the wheelchair parked alongside the bed.

Artie's words were still fresh in her mind. "Let her talk about it if she wants but don't push her to open up if she doesn't want it."

She watched as the blonde psyched herself up to move from one to the other, shuffling her hand a few times to find just the right spot to push down on. Eventually she hefted her slender frame across the gap and lifted her legs into place.

Rachel was used to watching Artie move around but this felt different because it didn't bother Artie much, but Quinn was clearly bothered. Rachel plastered a smile on her face but held back from praising her friend for something so simple as moving from bed to chair. She also ignored that Quinn was out of breath for a few moments afterwards. The blonde rolled around the bed and motioned the diva out of the door so they could share a hug and talk openly.

"I told you not to come tonight," Quinn complained, but in a way that showed she was also grateful and Rachel's arms squeezed around her shoulders.

"I know what you told me, but I didn't promise to agree."

A gentle chuckled vibrated in Quinn's chest.

"Thank you. I'm glad you came, even though I'm sorry to have ruined your evening."

"What makes you think that?"

"You travelled all this way."

Rachel shrugged and held Quinn's hand. "I just felt like you could use someone to talk to and I'm happy to be here if you do."

Quinn stared down at her lap briefly. "Let's go sit in the common room. It's too cold to go outside."

They moved quickly down the hall. It had been two weeks since Rachel had last seen the other girl and she was impressed by how much smoother Quinn seemed to be at pushing the chair.

"You're looking much more like your old self," Rachel commented. "You know, stronger."

Quinn grinned. "Thanks. They keep you going all day here so you get better quicker. It's hard work but the good kind where you actually feel like you're getting somewhere."

Rachel nodded and held a door for her so they could sit in the larger room. There were a few people watching a football match on the large TV so they headed out of the way in the corner so conversation was easier.

Rachel took a seat and Quinn rolled up close by and shoved her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.

Glancing around, Rachel looked at the large group of tables in the middle of the room.

"You could put it there," she nodded at the tables. "Surely there's enough room for it."

Quinn turned her shoulders. "I guess. I can see the pieces getting lost though."

Rachel smiled again. "Maybe I'll put a sign up saying only Quinn Fabray is allowed to touch the pieces."

Quinn chuckled again. "That might do it, especially if they've met you."

Rachel joined in laughing. "I'm glad you're smiling again."

The blonde nodded. "I haven't felt much like it the last couple of weeks to be honest."

"I'm sorry we couldn't get here last weekend."

"You had sectionals; that's more important."

Rachel frowned. "We had this thing at the synagogue too so daddy put his foot down and said I had to go."

Quinn nodded. "It's okay. I understand. At least you won, I'm just sorry I wasn't there with you."

"It wasn't as much fun without you. But you'll be back for regionals so that's good, right?"

Quinn shrugged. "I don't know if I'll be back in school by then. I don't really know what I'm going to be doing."

Rachel reached out and took her hand. "Everything's going to be okay. We'll work it out."

Quinn didn't let go but she scrunched up her face, unconvinced. "Everything's not going to be okay. It's never going to be okay."

"What's wrong. You've never sounded this defeatist before."

Quinn shrugged. "I've been trying….just it's hard to explain, but… with my injury. You remember me saying how gross this is sometimes?"

Rachel nodded.

A heavy sigh came from the pink lips. "They've been showing me how to manage…. you know … the toilet. So I don't have to wear the bag. I feel like an infant again, honestly. I'm sixteen and they're teaching me how to pee!"

"That's what has you down?"

She nodded. "I've had a few accidents. It's pretty depressing. I thought it would be easy once they showed me the mechanics."

Rachel tugged at the hand to get Quinn to make eye contact; she was staring at the top of the wall behind her.

"It's okay. Once you have more practice, everything will be fine."

"Yeah but what about once I get back to school. What if I have an accident there or worse, when I'm out in public?" A sound of frustration came out of Quinn's mouth. "I just want to feel normal again and have some sort of normal life. I don't know what I ever did to deserve this."

"Nothing you've done made you deserve this, it was just a dumb accident."

Quinn nodded then just had a complete meltdown. She burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. The others in the room turned and saw what was going on and recognised it for what it was. They both left quietly without a fuss.

Rachel stood and wrapped Quinn up in her arms so she had something to hang onto. It wasn't easy but at least she wasn't as tall as Finn, which made life easier when hugging someone in a wheelchair.

They didn't talk. Rachel just let Quinn cry her heart out for a while. It was the first time she had shown much emotion about it and somehow the brunette was relieved that her friend was finally letting her real feelings out about it. They had been bottled up for weeks.

—

2020, Riverside, Connecticut

"Oh, Quinn. These are amazing. I can't wait to see them blown up the size of this room."

A modest smile spread across Quinn's face.

"You think so?"

"I love them. I always loved your photos. Even when you weren't so accomplished back in school, you always took the best pictures." Turning to Beth, Rachel explained herself. "Your mom was always dragging her camera around school and took hundreds of pictures."

"You were always happy to have your mugshot taken, that I remember!" Santana interrupted.

Rachel's cheeky smile broke out. "Never pass up an opportunity to practice your paparazzi pose."

Beth giggled. "I've seen some of them on mom's laptop." Turning to Quinn, the girl jumped up and down. "Can I go get it and show Aunt Rach our holiday pictures?"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Sure go ahead."

Once more Beth ran out of the room in excitement.

"She's like a little bundle of energy. She kind of reminds me of me at that age."

Quinn watched her daughter go and just nodded. "Pretty much."

—

"So, what happened with Chris?" Quinn finally got a chance to talk to Rachel alone. They were sat on the sofa together, glass of pinot grigio in hand, catching up on each others busy life.

"His phone rang while he was in the shower and the ID came up with the name of this mutual friend. I didn't understand why he had her number when she was actually more my friend than his, but she was always laughing too loudly at his jokes. Anyway, I just guessed that something was going on. I can tell when someone is being unfaithful, but I didn't care enough to listen to his explanation. Can you believe it, he said it was my fault because I introduced them at a party and I went off on tour leaving him alone in New York. How is it my fault that he couldn't keep his thing in his trousers for eight weeks?"

Quinn shrugged. "That's not your fault, but I thought you said you both cheated?"

"Yes, but I'm more clever that him and didn't get caught, so…." she shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't even care much. What does that say about our relationship?"

Quinn didn't want to bring it up, but Rachel just wasn't the same since Finn passed away. Not where men were concerned. It was as though the centre of her universe was missing so she just rotated around the galaxy without any focus in her personal life, whilst her professional life was on a steady upward trajectory.

"So now what? Back to more dating and trying people on for size?"

Rachel shook her head. "I'm just not in the right place emotionally for any of that. The novelty of dating has worn off. I'm staying single for the foreseeable."

Quinn raised an eyebrow.

"What?" the brunette asked.

"You've said that before. I give it about a fortnight before you have met the man of your dreams… or the man of your dreams for the next six months at least."

Rachel pouted. "It's okay for you. You have met and married the love of your life."

Again the thought popped into Quinn's head that Rachel had too, only for it to end in the worst way. She remembered only too well the devastation of Finn's death on her best friend. She had sat with her for days afterwards, hoping that something would put some life back into Rachel's eyes. It had taken a few months before she was herself again, but steadily things had improved. There were still times when she could see that little haunted face, but mostly Rachel was okay. She just couldn't seem to find someone who meant as much to her as Finn had. The blonde really hoped that one day she would find true love again.

"I have something for you, but I'm not sure it's a good idea. If I say it has to do with Finn, does that make a difference?"

Rachel looked into her wine glass and smiled.

She shook her head. "I don't know what it is, but I think I'm in a good place right now to deal with it."

Quinn presented Rachel with a gift box.

The brunette looked surprised. "What's this for?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's for you. I found it a while back and forgot that I hadn't passed it over."

Rachel opened the box and took out an envelope with her name on the front. She recognised the scrawly handwriting on the front.

"This is from Finn?"

Quinn nodded. "It was just in a box that we sorted through after moving here. I've been meaning to give it to you, but I couldn't risk sending it in the mail and it getting lost. I'm so sorry that I never gave it to you originally. I found it at a bad time and that's my only excuse."

Rachel nodded slowly. "After the accident?"

"Yeah just after I came home from the hospital."

"I'm not sure I want to open it," she turned it over and lifted the flap.

"You should, Rach. He meant it for you and I think you would kick yourself if you didn't read it."

The brunette shrugged. "I just don't want to get upset."

Quinn ran a hand over her arm. "It's only me, Rach and I've cried buckets on you before now."

Rachel chewed the inside of her lip and then pulled out the card inside. "It's a valentine's day card?"

Quinn nodded.

"Remember how we switched lockers because yours was low and mine was too high after I came back from rehab? He must have forgotten and slipped it through the side. It got stuck down the side of my locker and I didn't find it until I cleared the locker out after graduation. I meant to give it to you, but I just forgot because you left for New York pretty much straight away. I kept remembering it at the wrong time and was going to post it to you but then….."

"He died."

The blonde nodded and swiped away a tear from the corner of her eye at the thought.

"I just couldn't ever find the right time and then I forgot and we moved a few times, each time I meant to empty the box of old stuff and …I just didn't get round to it until a little while back."

Rachel smiled at the goofy cartoon on the front. It was so teenage and typical of Finn.

"I miss him," Rachel had a few tears and smudged them across her cheek.

"We all do," Quinn nodded.

Opening the card, she read the poem inside and her heart melted a little. Placing her hand on her heart, Rachel teared up again. She had a little cry to herself and then placed the card back inside the envelope.

"You okay?" The blonde ran her hand up and down Rachel's upper arm.

She sniffed and nodded.

"You still loved him didn't you? I mean after you broke up?"

Rachel nodded again.

"I just thought that after I made it big, I'd eventually go back home and just find him waiting for me. I wanted to settle down and have a family with him and then he was just…. gone."

Rachel knew that after her brush with death, Quinn would understand that more than any of them.

The two women shared and hug and Quinn whispered into her ear. "I wish he was still here for you, but he can't be so you have to let him go and find who you really want to be with instead of these throwaway relationships you indulge yourself in."

She felt Rachel's head nod.

"That's why I'm so jealous of you."

Quinn pushed herself back a little and frowned. "Why would you be jealous of me?" Quinn squeaked in surprise.

"You have everything I wish I had." A heavy sigh left her. "You have the person who just gets you and you have Beth. I just want what you have."

Quinn's face crumpled and she looked around to see if Santana was back yet from getting Beth settled for the night.

"But you have an amazing life that you dreamed of, as well as a body that still works."

"But it's lonely sometimes and I miss just having people around me. I might have the career and the fame, but my bed is still cold when I get home."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you deserve everything good in life and my lack of a love life is not your problem."

"Thank you, but you know if you're feeling a bit lonely, you can come and stay whenever you like. You're part of our family, even if it's just by association instead of birth."

The pair hugged again.

"Thanks. You might regret that if I decide to move in permanently."

Quinn just laughed. "I'm trying to picture Santana's face when I tell her you're moving in!"

—