Sorry for the delay. College is quickly draining the life out of me. I'm taking up Psychology and I'm on two school organizations, the Psychology department's newspaper and theater so I'm mostly busy. Also I've been writing more poetry than stories lately so that's why I haven't gotten around to doing these. But anyway, I'll try to write more when I have the time.

"Caroline or Kol is a celebrity. The other is a fan/stalker? I think with your flare for darkness, you could have fun with this one!" -CoffeeFanatic87

"Caroline by Alex Clare for kind of obvious reasons xD" -Sloane Clover

I want her. And I don't mean in just a sexual way. I want her in every way a man can want a woman. And even beyond that.

I want to touch her blonde hair, feel how soft the curls are in my rough fingertips. I want to smell the curve of her neck and inhale her perfume – cherry blossoms, I knew. I want to trace my lips on the fragile, paper-thin skin of her pale wrists. And I want to explore the valley between her breasts with my tongue as she trembled underneath me.

I want her.

I've wanted her ever since she was fourteen and she uploaded that video of her singing 'Eternal Flame' on Youtube. I've wanted her since she won that cheesy singing competition and got her record deal. I've wanted her since I bought her album from the store and listened to the melody of her voice crooning out sad notes and happy beats. I've wanted her for so long it's all I can remember now.

I want her.

What do I have to do to get her?

I remember the first time I saw her. She's signing autographs at the Grammy's and I've been standing there at the front of the crowd for six hours. She exits the limo and lets the paparazzi take a few photos before going straight to the fans. She smiles right at me and waves as girls and boys around me shout her name.

I stay still like a rock against the current.

She signs my photo of her first. It's a photo of her she uploaded on Twitter. It's my favorite one of her. She's just woken up and her curly hair is messy and twice the size of her head, her eyes are still red-rimmed from sleep and her lips are pouty as she smiles at the camera. She looks like any other girl in that photo, not a girl with a multi-dollar record deal, and I loved her more for it.

She giggles when she sees the photo and then asks my name.

"Kol." I tell her, trying to keep calm.

Deep inside I'm jumping up and down, my blood is thrumming with excitement. I wish all these people were gone and it was just the two of us. I want to take her away from the lights and screams and go for some pistachio ice cream – her favorite, I know.

"Okay. Thanks." She hands me back the photo and I stare up at her for a moment, her eyes locked with mine. Those blue-green eyes are hypnotic, more so in person. And she smiles one last time before moving away to other fans.

I watch her until she's just a speck of white satin before looking down at her autograph.

Cole,

Thanks for all the support!

Caroline XOXO

Well, at least I got to meet her.

I honestly don't even like concerts. It's crowded and loud and you could go blind from the constant flashing of cameras. The only consolation was, of course, Caroline. When she's on stage, she just shines, practically like the sun. She loves to perform for people and you can feel it. I love seeing her on stage and it made up for the hundreds of idiots I had to share it with.

Caroline is nearing the end of her concert. It's a ballad. One of my personal favorites cause I love it when she sees sad songs. I love the croon of her voice as she gets the melody out.

She's at the piano and staring down into the keys as she lets out the words. I just stare directly at her from the front of the stage and not the screen. I like to watch the expressions on her face as she says the last lines.

The last note rings out and there's a moment of silence as her hand reaches up to wipe at her tears. This song always makes her emotional. She wrote it about that asshole that broke her heart. I would kill him if she asked me to.

I didn't like it when she cried. I wanted my Caroline smiling and laughing all the time. Except for maybe when we're sharing words in bed or cuddling in front of the TV. I wanted her happy, that's all I wanted.

The audience starts clapping and cheering and Caroline smiles tearfully at the crowd, almost like she's looking right at me.

I finally got to really meet her in December, a week before Christmas. She's in New York for her last stop of her tour and I've been following from state to state since her start in her hometown in Virginia. It's freezing outside the venue where I decided to wait before the show started two hours from now. I could go back to my hotel room but I don't want to miss out on anything or have to beat the crowd getting in later.

Then it happens like fate. Caroline exits out of the building, followed by some of her band mates who are trying to stop her from going.

"Caroline!"

But she ignores him and keeps on brisk walking towards some other direction. Her band mates keep shouting at her to come back but she doesn't so one of them throws his hands into the air and stomps back inside. "Bitch."

I rein in my anger at the dick for calling Caroline such a foul name but decided to opt for the chance of finally getting to talk to my dream girl. The rest of her band mates don't even notice me as I shuffle past them and follow the direction Caroline went.

I run for a minute or two before spotting her, her blonde hair like a beacon in the dark, grey landscape. She's sitting at a bench, arms wrapped around herself, trying to stave off the cold. Her coat is too thin and she'll get sick if she doesn't get warm. Cold is bad for the vocal chords too but I'm sure she knows that.

I approach her slowly, quietly and stop a foot away from her, blinking and trying to look cool as the weather. "Hey."

She nearly jumps as she looks up at me. A scared look passing over her before it's replaced by a sour look. "What do you want?"

I shrug. "You look cold and I thought-."

"Fuck off, perv!" She gets up to walk away instead and I follow her.

"Hey, wait!"

"What do you want?" She doesn't stop to look at me, just keeps on walking. "Don't talk to me, okay? I'm not in the mood for creeps like you so could you just leave-"

I grab her arm and twirl her around, her hair whips my face and I blink before she slaps me. My hand stays on her arm though as I wince and gasp at my sore cheek. "Fuck!"

"Just let me go, okay?" She practically whines. "I've had a bad day, okay? I just wanted a moment of peace before I had to perform for a bunch of screaming brats and instead I have to deal with you!"

"I'm not a creep." I mumble out and let go of her.

She pats imaginary lint of her coat and turns to walk away again.

"What's your name?"

She stops and turns around slowly, eyes confused. "You don't know me?"

I shrug. "Am I supposed to?"

"'Caroline Forbes', doesn't that ring a bell?" She looks even more confused when I shake my head no. "I won The American Dream two years ago and my album went platinum last month. You have to know me!"

I shake my head. "Nope. No bells."

She lets out a sound of disbelief. "You have got to be kidding me. You seriously don't know me?"

I shrug. "Maybe I have heard of you. Do you sing like really cheery pop songs?"

She looked appalled. "I'm more than just a pop singer, okay? No matter what freaking Rolling Stone said! I'm an artist!"

I nod in mock understanding. "Of course."

"Everyone says I'm just a passing fad and that they'll get sick of me in a year or two but I do have talent! I don't sing with auto tune and I write my own songs and-" She stops her rant and glares at me. "You're just laughing at me, aren't you?"

I couldn't hide my grin. "You're adorable when you're angry."

She huffs. "Whatever. I'm gonna go stop talking to some random creep on the streets. I have a concert to get to."

"Right, performing 'for a bunch of screaming brats' as you said."

She blushes in embarrassment. "I didn't mean that. I love my fans, I do. It's just sometimes they can be a bit much."

I shrug again and she rolls her eyes. "Is that your reaction to everything?" She mimics my shrug. "God, you're like Mr. No-Care."

"Whatever you say, Ms. I-Do-Have-Talent."

She almost smiles but replaces it with a glare. "I'm done talking to you."

She walks away and I don't stop her this time.

It's her last day in New York and she's out having a late lunch. The concert must have really tired her out as always and she trudges into the restaurant, her entourage behind her and the paparazzi trying to get in but they can't get in through the door because of the security.

Caroline beelines for the table in the middle of the restaurant and orders what I guessed she'd order - lamb, vegetable soup and chocolate cake for dessert.

From my table, I have a good view of her as her entourage all talk with each other. They don't talk to Caroline whose texting on her mobile with someone. It's probably her best friend, Bonnie Bennett who's attending university in Kentucky. Caroline misses her whenever she goes on tour (she always tweets how so).

They have their dinner and when dessert comes Caroline blinks at the black orchid on her plate with the chocolate cake. And she reads the napkin the waiter left.

Dear Ms. I-Do-Have-Talent

Lighten up.

From Mr. No-Care

She looks up and tries to look around the restaurant for me but I'm already out the door before she can get a glimpse.

Are you stalking me?

I stare at the DM I found when I opened my Twitter. There, clear as day from Caroline's personal twitter.

Why would I?

A response is quick.

Because you were at the restaurant a week ago and sent me the orchid. And it was you, wasn't it, Kol?

I smile.

It seems you know my name now. How did you track me down?

I have my ways.

Wait, who's stalking who now?

Don't flatter yourself.

I laugh.

I'm not if it's true. Do you have a crush on me, Caroline?

Ugh.

Is that a yes?

You're impossible.

You like it. You do have a crush on me.

I do not!

Then why are you stalking me?

Because….

Because? That's not an answer, Caroline.

Because you're weird. And I like it.

See? You admit it now. Caroline Forbes has a crush on me. I'm calling TMZ!

Ugh!

I'm watching the Ellen Degeneres Show. I don't particularly watch it at all but Caroline is going to be on so as a supportive boyfriend I have to come to the studio and watch from the audience.

The usual dancing and laughter go about as Ellen enjoys it so until she asks Caroline a question, "So this new song of yours, is it about anyone?"

"Yeah." Caroline giggles. "It's about someone in my life."

"Like a boyfriend?"

She nods. "I brought him here."

Camera zooms on me.

Ellen grins. "Oh, hey, boyfriend! What's your name?"

I smile. "Kol."

"I hate touring." Caroline murmurs into my shirt as we cuddle on the couch, her on top of me and using me as a giant plush toy. "Can't I just quit?"

"You love it too much." I reach up and thread my fingers through her hair. I can smell her perfume. Cherry blossoms like how I imagined.

"I think I might quit," Caroline says. "It just doesn't feel worth it anymore."

I stiffen for a moment before I continue stroking her hair. "Why not?"

"Cause I wasn't really that happy. I mean performing is fun but everything else that came with it was shitty." She giggles before raising her head to look down at me. "I'm finally happy and it's because of you. I don't need anything else."

I stare at her, not understanding what she means. "Am I really?"

"Yeah. I really just want to go back to being like everyone else." She sighs. "I'm so tired and I'm not even twenty yet."

I couldn't grasp what she was talking about. Why would she want to be like everyone else? That's why I loved her, beautiful, bright Caroline like the sun. How she was on stage, not…not…just like everyone else, someone average.

"You shouldn't quit." I tell her.

She blinks. "Why not?"

"Because it's not you. You're not you if you stop performing and touring. You won't be Caroline."

She stares at me before smiling. "I get what you mean. But singing isn't just what makes me Caroline, you know."

"Why? What else is there?"

She completely stiffens before getting up and staring down at me in complete disbelief. I sit up and stare up at her as she sputters. "What else is there? I don't know! I guess there's more to Caroline Forbes than being a star! Maybe if people stop focusing on the idea people have of me in their heads!"

She stops as if realizing something and stares at me wide-eyed. "Like you do." Her voice is small, surprised. "You don't love me."

I'm quick to object and I get up. "Don't be crazy. I love you! I love you so much!"

"You love Caroline Forbes the star. You don't love Caroline Forbes the ordinary girl." She shakes her head, fighting tears. "My mom was right. This was going to happen. No one's going to love me for me."

I try to protest but she shakes me off and runs out of my apartment.

CAROLINE FORBES CALLS IT QUITS WITH BOYFRIEND?

I glare at the tabloids as I see them on the newspaper stand. There my relationship with Caroline is poked and prodded at mercilessly for everyone to see, everyone making assumptions of what went wrong, everyone putting the blame on me 'for not being able to handle having a girlfriend with fame'. Fucking idiots, that isn't the problem. That is never the problem.

Caroline said I'm in love with Caroline the star, not Caroline the ordinary girl but that isn't true because Caroline Forbes just isn't ordinary, that's not who she is. She was born to be a performer and she's fantastic at it. I saw that and cherished her for it so why is she angry at me? What is she angry for?

I need to find out.

Her first day of touring is its back in Mystic Falls, Virginia. This is her hometown which she told many stories to me about. She loves this place, small town and all. And she hates having to leave it to live in LA most of the year so coming back there is something special to her.

The bouncer lets me in the venue. They all know me. I befriended them when Caroline and I first started dating. I know for a fact, they have a taste for whisky which I always mind to bring with me when I visit during touring.

Caroline is at her dressing room, getting ready. And everyone goes quiet when they see me. Caroline's expression looks regretful and sad and it makes my stomach flip. She gestures for everyone to leave us and I stand where I am until we're alone.

She continues the job of her make-up artist, adding more blush on. "What do you want, Kol?"

"You look cold." I repeat my first words to her.

She smiles for a moment before it's replaced by a grimace. "No, seriously." She stops everything and looks at me. "What do you want?"

I don't miss a beat. "I want you. I want us back together. I want you to call me your boyfriend and I want to be able to call you mine."

"You never had me." She bites out. "I mean, you never loved me."

"Yes, I did!"

"No, you didn't!" She half-shouts. "You love me when I'm like this. Glammed up and ready to perform for millions but you don't love me when I just want to attend college or go have lunch with Bonnie. You loved the idea of me."

I keep shaking my head no but she dismisses me already. The bouncers come and take me away. I try to fight but they're too strong and they throw me out into the street s with an apologetic look and nothing more. They slam the doors close and I don't know what to do.

I want her. And I don't mean in just a sexual way. I want her in every way a man can want a woman. And even beyond that.

Kol, don't contact me again…

I want to touch her blonde hair, feel how soft the curls are in my rough fingertips.

I sent you that restraining order for a reason…

I want to smell the curve of her neck and inhale her perfume – cherry blossoms, I knew.

You seriously hurt me…

I want to trace my lips on the fragile, paper-thin skin of her pale wrists.

Please leave me alone….

And I want to explore the valley between her breasts with my tongue as she trembled underneath me.

I don't love you anymore….

I want her.