Reimu starred at the map; deep in thought. Diesel's tracker says that Awdry had left The Great Youkai Forest and headed south to the Sanzu River. There was one pin on the map however, that caught her attention. It wasn't from Diesel's tracker, but from a witness. The red pin was placed within the center of the Sanzu River.

"How Christopher be in the river? Wouldn't he have to be a shinigami to be able to have a ship float?" she thought, the lone pin puzzled her a lot.

Alec was eating a carrot, he was talking utter nonsense, "Plane? Train? Brain?" he said.

Alec took another bite of the carrot, "Mind? Bind? Find?".

He took yet another bite, "Mugs? Ughs? Tugs?"

Reimu looked back at the map, what would Christopher Awdry want with the Sanzu River?

Komachi enjoyed her new friends. Whilst they were souls from a different kind of series, she thought them great fun.

"Good heavens Ten Cents! Don't be such a heathen!" said a staid man with a top hat and monocle.

"But Top Hat! I really did see Yuuka and Stepney do it!" said a young man with a hat.

"Oh I bet you did, old chap." said another man with glasses.

"What does Ten Cents mean that Yuuka and Stepney did it, Hercules?" said one that didn't seem too bright.

"Well, Big Mac. That's a tough question to answer." said Hercules.

"Hey, OJ!" said Big Mac.

An old man in a straw hat woke up, "Oh dear." he said, "Did I miss something?"

"OJ."

"Yes, Big Mac." said OJ.

"What does it mean someone does someone else."

"I don't OJ knows what you mean." said Ten Cents.

So Ten Cents whispered into Big Mac's ear about Yuuka and Stepney as well as the 'Birds and the Bees'.

"I still don't get it." said Big Mac.

"Good lord!" exclaimed Top Hat.

A man with scuba gear came from under the surface of the Sanzu River.

"Hi guys!" he said.

"Hello Grampus." said everybody else.

Then, they saw Komachi and her ferry come to shore.

"Hello, all!" she greeted.

Ten Cents, Top Hat, Big Mac, Hercules, OJ, and Grampus used to be the Star Tugs, but due to Sodor's collapse, which lead to the destabilization of Britt Allcroft Productions and HiT Entertainment, the Star Tugs returned to their human form. If you think that's too convoluted, let's just say that the writer of this episode wanted to do an episode with Tugs characters, mostly to attract Sodor island Forum members to this series, that is, if they could just stop reading the ERS and all of its 5 Trillion books.

"Did you find Sunshine?" asked Ten Cents.

Komachi sighed, "No, I haven't found him."

Sunshine had went missing, no one knew where he went. But it had been several days and due to the dangerous conditions that Gensokyo brings. Everybody just presumed that he had died, but not Ten Cents.

"Just give up the ghost!" said Top Hat.

Before Ten Cents, could reply. An old battleship came into view, a voice boomed from a megaphone.

"You worthless, useless, scoundrels!" came a voice.

"Oh no." said the former Star Tugs.

It was Bluenose, ever since Yukari had gapped in the pre-dreadnought battleship Mikasa, to use as her own yacht. But thanks to a mess up with Ran, the ship got sold to Nitori Kawashiro, who restored the ship to working order, she even loaded the ship with new munitions, they were as modern as the ship's design could allow. Bluenose became the ship's captain, and took pleasure in yelling at everybody, he still thinks he's in the military.

"Hey you!" called out Bluenose, "Yeah you! The one with the brain several D-cups smaller than her chest! Get off my river and go play ship captain somewhere else!" Bluenose had a thing for bullying Komachi, he thought of her as dumb, slutty, and too insignificant to be on the same river as him.

Komachi began to cry, the former Star Tugs began consoling her and soothing hurt feelings.

"When Eiki talks to me like that." she said, sobbing. "It makes me feel bad, but vaild. When Bluenose says it...it...it..." Komachi was too sad to finish her sentence.

"That's nothing." said Grampus, "One time, back when I was a submarine, he tried to blow me up because I was old and obsolete."

"What's did you do?" sobbed Komachi.

"Ten Cents and some of his pals saved me and Captain Star bought me from the Navy." replied Grampus.

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a ship's horn. They saw another battleship move by them. It was too newer looking to be the Mikasa. OJ took one good look at the ship and adjusted his glasses, his face turned to shock.

"Everybody! Run!" said OJ.

The mystery ship opened fired on the riverside. Dirt and water splashed all around them.

Komachi was frozen on the ground. Ten Cents ran back to her.

"Come on, Komachi! We have to go!"

"But I can't!" cried Komachi.

Hercules saw that the ship was aiming his turrets. He ran and grabbed Komachi and lugged her over his back using his strength. You could say that he still had the strength of an ocean-going tugboat. The ship fired another salvo, everybody ran for cover. The mystery ship left, leaving behind a ruined riverside.

"We have to call somebody!" said Top Hat.

"I'll get Reimu, she'll know what to do!" said Komachi, wiping tears off her face.

The next day, Reimu and Marisa arrived. Everybody was by the Mikasa.

"What's the matter?" asked Reimu.

"Well, there was this big ship." said Komachi, "And it fired at us."

"That must be that mystery pin, eh Reimu." said Marisa.

"So that must be it." replied Reimu.

Bluenose leaned from the Mikasa's guard rail. "I got this!" he said proudly.

"Why?" asked Marisa.

"I don't need no black and red people telling us what to do! I have a battleship, I can take 'em out!" shouted Bluenose.

Reimu and Marisa were livid! "We know Gensokyo better than you do!"

Marisa looked at her skin, "I'm not black." she stated.

The former Star Tugs laughed nervously. "Marisa! That's rude of you to say!"

"What?" said Marisa, "I know that in Gensokyo, there are no nig-"

Christopher Awdry sailed up and down the Sanzu River. He had written down that he 'magically' found the HMS Hood. He kept his hands on the wheel. He had been living in the ship and was using it as a mobile base for him. He was making plans on who to kill.

He knew that Mavis was out. He knew that Reimu was definitely in his sights. The only thing left for him to figure out was which one of Yakumo's killed his father. Was it the old hag? Was it one with the fox tails? Or was it the little kitty that they called 'Chen'.

Christopher prepared his ship for a boarding by Reimu and her friend Marisa. So he put all sorts of traps on the ship. Trip lasers, gun sentries, and a twenty digit long passwords on the electric locks on any the doors that lead to any of the more sensitive parts of the ship, like the engine room and the magazine. He rotated the wheel sharply, the ship listed slightly as it turned around. He was going to make another round on those people he fired on earlier.

"That'll teach them I mean business. Give me Reimu or give me death!" he then regretted saying that so he added, "Just as long as no one was hurt."

Everybody got on board the Mikasa, they figured as long as they were moving the mystery ship wouldn't get them. But Bluenose kept browbeating the others into working for him. Reimu never knew she would hate someone so much.

"Keep swabbing the poop deck! I need this ship in good condition!" said Bluenose.

He turned around and saw Komachi was on the bridge, merely just touching the controls.

"Don't touch that!" shouted Bluenose.

"But the ship was-"

"You know nothing about running a ship like this, I know everything, you don't!"

"But!"

"No buts, why not go to kitchen or clean the quarters. Then you'd be useful!"

Komachi ran out of the bridge and hid in one of the rooms. Reimu saw Komachi running and she entered the bridge.

"I now some youkai were are dicks. But from a westerner like you, your terrible!" said Reimu indignantly.

"Look you red and white whore! Your bimbo friend literally knows jack shit about running a battleship like this. She can just row her dinky dinghy!"

Reimu was madder than mad. She slapped her across the face, then Bluenose responded by grabbing her by the mouth.

"No one, ever slaps me. You insubordinate bitch!"

Bluenose grabbed Reimu and bent her over some controls. He took his hand and spanked Reimu as hard as he could. Reimu yelled and she got free and stormed out of the bridge.

"I hope you and that bitch learn your lesson!" he said.

Reimu told the others what Bluenose had done to her.

"That's him alright." grumbled Ten Cents.

"What a cretin!" exclaimed Top Hat.

Suddenly, everybody felt the ship move faster and move away from the side of river and towards the center.

Bluenose announced that he spotted another ship and said that it was his marvelous to get 'some distance' from it. Marisa stormed into the bridge and said that she and Reimu were going to board the other ship.

"No!" yelled Bluenose, "Everybody's staying on this ship! I'm the captain and I give the orders!"

"Fine! We do nothing! We die! You can go fuck yourself!" then Marisa left the bridge.

Marisa went over to Reimu, who was still nursing her sore bum.

"Come on Reimu, let's go get him!"

"Right."

Reimu and Marisa took flight and then after the mystery ship.

"Hey! You two! Get back!" screamed Bluenose.

He then ordered some of his 'crew' to be in the bridge. Bluenose was making preparations to 'fight'. But he was really just planning to run away some more.

Komachi was alone in the ship, she was crying. But she came to a conclusion.

"Yes." she sobbed angrily, "I'll do it! I'll fucking do it!"

She grabbed her scythe and made her way back to the bridge. She clenched the handle. Tears streamed down her face, but she had a look of extreme anger on her face. Komachi pasted by Big Mac.

"Feeling alright, Miss?" asked Big Mac innocently.

Komachi didn't answer, she just kept walking away.

"Oh. I hope you feel better!" said Big Mac, but still didn't get a response.

Komachi slammed the door open. Ten Cents and Top Hat looked at her, so did Bluenose, who was not happy.

"I told you to go make yourself useful." he shouted.

"Yes. I will." she grumbled.

Komachi swung her scythe right across Bluenose's neck. A torrent of blood sprayed throughout the bridge. Bluenose's head landed on the floor, it had a look of anger on it. Komachi was covered in a large layer of blood. It felt like hours before the blood stopped coming out and Bluenose's body fell down onto the floor. Ten Cents and Top Hat were horrified, but they then found themselves clapping and cheering. Komachi could not feel any happier, she had killed her only tormentor, she then thought of doing the same to Eiki Shiki, but she made the good decision not to.

"You did it!" cheered Top Hat, holding in the contents of his stomach.

"I know I wouldn't have the guts to do that."

"Hehe...Thanks guys, it was nothing." said Komachi.

She then kicked aside Bluenose's head and body and positioned herself in front of the big wheel. She took the PA system and announced, "I'm the captain now! And my first order to turn to starboard and we sink that sucker!"

The former tugs cheered and they begin to man their battle stations.

Reimu and Marisa were flying high over the river, but they soon found the ship. Marisa read the ship's name that was painted on the side.

"HMS Hood." read Marisa, "Sounds like something Christopher would do."

"Damn, Brit." said Reimu.

However, the HMS Hood's anti-air defenses kicked in and bullets and shells were flying through the air. Reimu and Marisa tried to dodge as much as possible. But they soon were forced to fly lower and lower towards the surface of the river. The shooting stopped and they proceeded to get closer to the ship. The two flew inconspicuously by the side of the hull, they stopped half way and carefully flew up and over the railing. They were now on board the ship.

There were two doors, they decided to split. Reimu opened one door and it lead towards the lower levels of the ship. Marisa however, was on her way to the magazine.

Reimu ran down the halls of the ship. But she turned a corner fast and slid and fell on her still sore butt. Luckily, this made her dodge a gun sentry.

KRACKAKRACKAKRACKAKRACKAKRACKAKRACKA! The sentry was reloading, so Reimu launched all sorts of ofuda at the sentry. It penetrated its ammo storage and exploded. She continued going down the halls, much more careful this time. She didn't want to get shot up.

Marisa was walking down a hall, when she came across a large area of security lasers. Red beams zig-zagged across the hall.

"I got this, da ze." she said.

She manipulated her body around the lasers, careful not to touch. But she felt the ship rock, just enough for her to lose her balance and fall onto the lasers. Alarms blared, Marisa broke out into a sprint. Bullets streamed across from gun poking out from the walls. Marisa ducked as the shooting as caught up to her. It didn't stop for several minutes. She then accidentally tripped more lasers and this time, the hallway was filled with tear gas. Marisa took her hat and placed it over her face and ran as fast she could. Her eyes were watering badly, she didn't think we was going to make it. That is, until the cloud of gas was behind her and she ended up in front of a big door with a electronic padlock. She fired a master spark and blasted the keypad and the door opened.

"That was easy." she said to herself.

Marisa entered the room and saw racks and rows upon rows and rack of shells and high explosives. She knew it was time to get creative.

Reimu meanwhile, kept going down stairs until finally reached the bottom of the ship. A locked door awaited her, she took her gohei and smashed the keypad as hard she could without breaking the gohei itself. The keypad fell apart after a rough beating and the door opened.

"So this is the engine room?" thought Reimu as she looked at the very machinery that powered the battleship.

But she suddenly felt the ship rock violently.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed as she fell face down on the metal floor.

"Fire!" ordered Komachi.

The Mikasa's cannons fired a salvo.

"Komachi!" said Ten Cents, "That other ship is turning portside!"

"So it is." she observed.

The other ship fired a salvo of its own and the Mikasa rocked.

"Most of it missed, but we're hit nonetheless." said Ten Cents.

"Return fire! We can't let that ship rampage any further on this river. This is my river, and its my job that the dead souls cross this!"

The cannons fired again, and again, and again.

"Good heavens!" said Top Hat, "I thought that ship was sunk years ago!"

"What do you mean?" asked Komachi.

"That's the HMS Hood!"

"Whatever. Just sink it already."

The Mikasa shook violently.

"Direct hit!" exclaimed Ten Cents.

"Keep firing! We are to stand our ground!"

The cannons boomed again, but even the new shells and explosives did little damage to the HMS Hood. All they could do was fired and hope that something would happen.

Marisa Kirisame pulled out a spell card: Love Sign "Non-Directional Laser".

Laser danmaku bounced around the magazine. Marisa knew better than to not hang around and she dashed off to escape.

Reimu was launching all sorts of attacks against the machinery. Her greatest breakthrough was damaging the steam turbine enough to slow the ship down. She stopped to take a breather, then a loud explosion was heard, followed by metal bits and pieces flying about, some of them hit Reimu. But Reimu wasn't prepared for the sudden flooding of the engine room, Reimu was flung around the room. Her head hit a piece of broken machinery and she blacked out.

One minute, Christopher Awdry was in the bridge, trying to fight the Mikasa and deal with his intruders at the same time. The next, he was sent flying out the glass windows and into the river below. He tried to reorient himself and swam up to get his head above surface.

He saw that one of them managed to get in and blew up the magazine. The ship was practically blasted inside-out. The ship quickly sank beneath the waves, the HMS Hood was sunk again.

"Blast!" she shouted.

But he saw Marisa fly over him, he waited to see if Reimu would come out. But she didn't.

"HAH-HA! I did it! I finally killed Reimu!" he exclaimed with the utmost joy.

Komachi and the former Star Tugs turned humans, clapped and cheered as they watched the HMS Hood sink beneath the Sanzu River. Marisa landed on the Mikasa's deck.

"That was amazing! How did you do it?" asked Ten Cents.

"Well," said Marisa putting her arm behind her back, "It wasn't easy, but I blew up where all the explosives where."

"So, the magazine?" said Komachi.

"Yes." confirmed Marisa.

"Say? Where the red and white girl?" asked Top Hat.

Everybody looked around, but there was no Reimu.

"Oh no." said Marisa, all previous emotions being discarded, "She must have been still in the ship!"

"Oh shit." said Komachi, almost in a whisper.

Everybody got off the ship and they reminisced about Reimu's existence.

"She was my best friend." said Marisa, sadly.

"Even though she could sometimes be a prick, I think most people liked her." said Komachi.

"Who's Reimu?" asked OJ.

"She's the one that just died." explained Hercules.

But then, Big Mac exclaimed, "Look! Its Billy Shoepack!"

"And he's carrying something!"

A western countryman walked towards the humans, magician, and shinigami, this was indeed Billy Shoepack. He was carrying a woman in red and white clothes, obviously water logged and badly battered.

"Do you know who this is?" asked Billy Shoepack.

"That's Reimu!" cried Marisa.

She ran over to him, Reimu was still unconscious. Marisa tried to feel a pulse. She motioned for Billy to lay Reimu on the ground and Marisa pushed her hands on the miko's heart.

"Come on! Come on!" he said.

"I think I can help." said Hercules.

Using his strength, he rapidly pressed down on Reimu's chest, stopping occasionally to blow air into her mouth.

"Come on! Live damn you!" said Hercules.

Finally, Reimu coughed and spluttered and finally opened her eyes.

"What happened." croaked Reimu.

"I found you on the side of the river. You look like you need a doctor." said Billy.

Reimu tried to get herself upright, but everything hurt. She kept saying "Ow." over and over again.

The former Star Tugs and Marisa all held up Reimu and brought her to the nearest bus stop. Percy was driving the bus this time and asked where they were going.

"Eientei. And step on it!" said Marisa.

"What for?" asked Percy.

"Reimu's been badly hurt." answered Marisa.

"Oh. I guess I'll have to change the sign then." Percy pressed a button and the sign changed from "Moriya – Youkai Mt. - Sanzu" to "Express".

Percy stepped on the gas, the sound of the bus revving up as it gradually gained speed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but, express coming through!" Percy said.

Reimu was soon brought to Eientei. Henry and Eirin covered most of Reimu up in casts. She was lucky enough to not get a full body cast, and just several over her legs, arms, and neck.

"You were lucky to survive whatever happened to you." said Eirin.

"Yeah." said Henry, "You survived the HMS Hood exploding. I remembered the last time that happened, I think nobody survived that one."

"Who's going to look after my shrine?" asked Reimu.

"I'll see if any of my friends would help." said Henry.

"But on one condition: Keep James out of my clothes!" ordered Reimu.

"I'll see what I can do." replied Henry.

Duke and his two vassals, Peter Sam and Sir Handel were having dinner at the Yakumo household again. The idea of Duke and Yukari fucking were the least of the vassals' problems. Their current dilemma: What kind of meat are they eating?

"I think's pork." said Peter Sam.

"I don't know." replied Sir Handel, "Doesn't taste like any meat I ever had."

"You were an engine months ago!" said Duke sternly, "How would you know about what meat we're eating?!"

"Grandpuff..." grumbled Sir Handel.

"Say, Yukari dearest, what are we eating?" asked Duke.

"We're eating pork." said Yukari, but her facial expression told a different story.

Yukari winked at Ran, but Ran just groaned and continued eating the pork.

"Oh, Duke."

"Yes, Yukari?"

"I wanted to give you a gift." Yukari then brought out a small red hat.

"Yukari? Where did you get this?" asked Duke.

"Let's just say, it came from a little ray of...Sunshine."