thanks for the nice reviews to the last chapter
apologies this one has taken longer to get out, i've been away for a couple of weeks and haven't had much time to write.
the usual disclaimer applies
Chapter 12
2020 Lima, Ohio
Santana pushed Quinn's chair for her. She wasn't asked often, but the grass of the football field was a little bumpy and the castors tended to dig in so she offered and the blonde accepted. The chair didn't roll well on all four wheels, so Santana tipped the chair back and just pushed on the rear wheels alone. Quinn didn't speak, just placed her hands in her lap.
Quinn watched Rachel from a distance as they approached. She was stood in her little black dress, which seemed fitting for the occasion, staring at the thickening trunk of Finn's tree. They had planted it six years ago after he died and it was much larger than the last time she had seen it. It had only been a sapling back then, now it was bigger and stronger.
Neither spoke to announce their arrival, Santana just stopped a few feet away and waited; they didn't want to intrude.
"I miss you, Finn Hudson." Rachel put her hand on the carved word. "You were funny and kind most of the time, sometimes a little selfish, but always cared about me and your friends. They all miss you. You should have had longer."
She turned to look at her friends but didn't move.
"I wish more than anything that you were still here but I needed to come and say goodbye, finally. I love you, still after all this time, but I can't have you now, so I need to move on, but I had to come and tell you first. I made it, Finn and I know you would have been proud of me for that, but I wish you had been here to see it for yourself. You were always my biggest fan."
She looked up briefly, the tears stinging, her voice breaking. "I really hope its peaceful where you are, Finn. Part of you will always be with me and always in this place." She reached forwards again. "I loved you so much. Goodbye, sleep well."
Her hand retracted for a moment and she gathered herself, taking out a handkerchief to wipe her face, relieved she had made the wise decision to leave the mascara off today. She sniffed and stood looking at her tears as they turned the white cotton translucent. She then burst into tears, the hysterical kind and Quinn realised the meltdown was happening. She went to put her hands on the wheels, but Santana was already moving her forwards. She pulled Rachel into her lap and just held her for a long time, no attempt to get her to be quiet or calm down, just gentle reassurance and a hand rubbing her back.
Santana stood behind Quinn and watched the heartbreak all over again. She didn't interfere, just waited, her hands on her wife's shoulders to let her know she was there too.
None of them remembered how long they were there until a couple of students made their way over, concerned by what they were seeing.
"Everything alright ma'am?" Once of them asked Santana.
"Apart from you calling me ma'am, yes."
"Sorry, I meant miss," he apologised.
Santana raised an eyebrow. "You boys about to start practice?" she noted their football uniforms.
"Yeah," he nodded.
"Did you know Finn Hudson? That's his tree," the other one stated the obvious.
"Yeah, we knew him." She dropped her gaze and sniffed back a stinging tear. "We knew him really well."
"Cool, he was awesome. Coach Beiste always talks about him and what he would do in a difficult situation."
Santana nodded but she couldn't speak at that moment. Taking a deep breath she eventually managed to find a few platitudes. "Have a good session okay." She turned away then, unable to keep her facade up much longer. She wasn't going to let two skinny white teenagers see her cry.
She felt Quinn's hand on top of her own as she tried to stop her own little meltdown. The injustice of it always got to her. The senseless way in which he died. The waste of a life so full of promise.
—
At the Berry's later that day, Rachel had brightened. She had also contacted her agent to let him know that she was going to be back in New York in ten days and that she had a gallery opening to attend in a few weeks and that it should replace anything else that might have been earmarked for that date already. She also contacted her personal assistant, Davina, who was just as Jewish and even shorter, if that was even possible, than Rachel. The neurotic girl was such a stress-head but actually quite efficient. Davina had been told to look up grief counsellors in Manhattan who were considered both excellent and discreet.
Rachel was finally letting herself move on.
—
2011 Wexner Medical Center, Columbus, Ohio
"Okay, ease off the brake and the car will roll very slowly. You're going to let it roll without actually accelerating yet and then apply the brake again, just to get a feel for how sensitive it is."
Quinn checked in her mirror out of habit and then allowed her hand to move back towards her slowly, the brake eased off and the car inched forwards. She pushed it back in and then released it again. Another two or three more goes and the instructor told her to slam the brake so she did. Her upper body moved against the restraint of her seatbelt and she winced a little. It didn't actually hurt, it was just a reminder.
"That's great, so now let's add in some throttle. As the brake comes off, you just need to squeeze the pedal under your fingers to accelerate.
Quinn looked down at the control in her right hand. It was beside the steering wheel, between it and the gear shift, neatly tucked into the space for her right hand to work it effortlessly. She could feel the 'pedal' under her fingers, while her thumb was wrapped around the underside so that she could push forwards to brake at anytime. All the car controls were on the hand control and it really was like child's play. She squeezed gently.
"A little more, you're still crawling. Take it up to around twenty m.p.h."
She squeezed harder and watch the speedometer rise.
"It's really easy," she nodded.
"You feel okay? Like you're in control?"
"Yeah, its good."
"Then push the indicator and make a right turn around those cones you see up ahead."
Quinn nudged the indicator with her index finger while the rest kept the gas coming. They practised indicating and turning, right and left around a figure-8 for twenty minutes until she no longer needed to think about it.
"All good?"
She nodded. "I was worried I might have flashbacks and stuff, but actually it was nice to be in control of a car again."
He nodded. "Let's try a little parking then we'll get out on the roads for a while. I think you're ready."
—
Quinn looked at her little red Beetle. It was covered in dust. It had been parked in the garage for months. She wondered how she was going to wash it now. It would have to be one of those automated ones, or maybe someone else could do the roof and she could try the rest herself. It was a coupe so the doors were a good size; getting her chair into the passenger seat wouldn't be a problem, but there was no way she would be able to get Beth in the back without any help. She scratched her head and shook it. The Beetle wasn't going to work. It would have to be replaced. Something with four doors but also big enough doors to get her chair in. They didn't design cars with paraplegic moms in mind.
"Do you want to try this, Q?" Santana had Beth in her arms. They had sat the child safety seat, which had been in her car originally and then moved to her granddad's since the accident, in without actually fixing it down yet; there didn't seem much point if it wasn't going to work.
"I don't think I can reach in safely from here to the back seat," she mumbled from the open door. "It's no good, San."
"Shall we try your mom's car maybe?"
"Yeah, I guess," she sounded deflated.
"Come on, Q. We'll figure it out. You can sell your car and get another one. It's just a car."
"I know, but I liked it. I hate giving things up because of this," she hammered her hands down on the wheels of the chair.
She spun around and went to grab her mom's car keys, still mad that things weren't working out easily.
Her mom's boring, white Honda Accord fitted the chair in the trunk easily, it had been in there plenty of times, but Quinn had never tried to load Beth into the car seat. She had Santana drop the toddler in her lap first. Beth mumbled some nonsense and then stuck her thumb in her mouth.
"Ew, Beth, take it out. You've been rolling around on the floor all day." With the door already open, Quinn tried to figure out the best way to get her daughter in. She was too heavy to lift over with one hand and yet leaning forwards with something heavy and precious in both hands could lead to Quinn toppling forwards. She kept her back deliberately pushed up against the rear of her chair and turned Beth round.
"Can you just grab the back of my T-shirt so I don't slump forwards. I might be okay, but just in case."
Santana grabbed a handful of Quinn's T-shirt just above the top edge of the backrest. Secured, Quinn got a good hold around Beth's ribs and lifted forwards, pushing the toddler's backside over the edge of the car seat.
Beth giggled and waved her arms around.
"Don't start dancing, Beth, you'll have me flat on my face," Quinn muttered. Her hands now balanced on the edge of the car seat and Beth was safely sat in there. "You can let me go," she grinned at Santana. "That was okay, wasn't it?"
"I didn't do anything to hold you back. That worked well."
Quinn nodded and then reached over for the buckle, fumbling around for the end that Beth was now sat on. It took a couple of minutes to get her fastened up but it worked okay. She then tried to get herself in the driver's seat, followed by breaking down her chair to pass across her lap into the passenger seat. It took a while, but eventually Beth, Quinn and the chair were all in the car.
They reversed it and tried it a second time, Santana ready to catch Quinn, but in the end it wasn't necessary.
Judy Fabray had become accustomed to letting Quinn try things out for herself. The family counsellor she had seen at Wexner had encouraged her to keep the over-protective streak to a minimum and it had been hard at times, especially now Quinn was independent for most things and wanted to spread her wings again. Judy was panicking at the thought of her daughter driving around without anyone to help in case something went wrong. Judy was worried all the time about things going wrong, wether that was a fall, a puncture, meds not working, someone bullying her; it was a long list.
"How's it going?" Judy wandered out to see how Quinn was getting on. Beth seemed cheerful enough, though she seemed to think they were going somewhere and looked confused when they simply got out of the car again. "Mommom," Beth joined in.
"I never heard her say that before," Santana noticed.
"She's been doing it for a couple of weeks," Quinn grinned at her daughter. "Mommom's making you confused isn't she?" She made a funny face at the toddler.
Beth clapped her hands and giggled. "Mommomm," she repeated.
Judy folded her arms and waited for Quinn to try again, but she didn't. She spun Beth around and then her chair. "My car is a bust, mom, but yours is okay. I can get her in and out without falling over or dropping her. I need to get a new one."
"Okay," Judy thought about it. "Do you want mine for now and I use yours?"
Quinn bit her lip for a moment. "Thanks mom, but my car's too small for you and yours in practically new."
"I don't mind. We can always trade the Beetle in for something else later. If mine works for you, let's go ahead and get it adapted."
Quinn sighed. Her mom had given up a lot for her and asked for very little in return. "I want to say yes, but you have to think about yourself for once, mom. I can get by with something older and less expensive. You shouldn't be even more out of pocket because of me."
Santana felt a bit awkward. She didn't like being party to this kind of conversation. "Shall I take Beth in and play with her for a bit while you talk this through some more?"
Quinn stopped worrying her lips and nodded, handing Beth over to her girlfriend. Judy thanked her and went to the driver door of the car, dropping inside and looking around.
"I guess we can take a look around and see what we can find in a similar size, now we know this works."
"I can practice with it before we buy as well." Quinn glanced at her feet and straightened them up. "Thank you though, mom. It was sweet of you to offer, but I don't want to keep taking from you all the time."
Judy thought about it briefly. Quinn was right, she shouldn't feel guilty over this. "We'll get your car cleaned up and then take it to get valued. I'll ask dad to take us."
"I might ask Santana to come with us too, she's persuasive and we might get a good deal if she threatens to kick the salesman's ass."
Judy's face broke into a grin. "Well done for not always taking the easiest option put in front of you," she gave her daughter a kiss and a squeeze. "Most teenagers would have just taken the car and not given a second thought about it."
"I don't think there's much about me that's typically teenage anymore, do you?"
—
"I like the Chevy," Quinn's granddad ran his hand over the dark red metallic paint on a three year-old Chevrolet 200. "It's big enough and it's the newest of the ones you can afford, Quinn."
She nodded. "What about the Ford though?" She nodded at the silver Focus. "It's cheaper than the 200."
"Cheaper doesn't mean better. It's a good car, but this has ten thousand fewer miles on the clock."
The blonde teenager screwed her nose up in thought. They weren't the most exciting cars, but she needed practical and they fit the bill.
"The Chevy is a nicer colour too," Santana noted. Quinn rolled her eyes. "What, you drove a red Beetle, that was clearly a statement. You cannot make any kind of statement in a silver Focus, they are like every single hire car in America."
Quinn nodded. "Okay, let's try and get a deal then. The Chevy it is."
Santana bent down and whispered in the blonde's ear when her granddad stalked off to find the salesman. "Do you think we can park up in that and fool around on the backseat?"
Quinn smacked her arm and rolled her eyes. "You have a one track mind, Santana Lopez."
—
Quinn's grandparents had Beth for the night and her mom was out on a date, which was nice. She was relieved that her mom was starting to have a normal life again. It had been a rough year and half for the small family.
Santana was sat on the sofa with her feet perched on the coffee table. They had been watching a movie but the credits were rolling. Quinn rolled her body forwards and pulled her chair closer. "I'm just going to swap out the DVD." She ejected the disk with the remote and then heaved herself into the seat. She didn't even bother to straighten her legs and feet up, just rolled over to the TV and put the DVD back in the case. "I thought Mamma Mia was supposed to be good."
"That depends on who you ask. Berry thinks it's good, but that is not exactly a marker for good taste. I prefer something with a little more script and a little less old people singing old songs."
"Maybe we should have watched it with the Spanish dubbing instead. That might have made it funnier."
Santana laughed and threw a cushion at her girlfriend.
"Lopez, I cannot believe that you would throw missiles at a handicapped person," she let her jaw drop in mock offence.
She received a second one to the knees for that.
"This is war, Lopez." Quinn picked up the both of them, leaving Santana without any more to throw.
It was also then that she realised Quinn's slightly ambidextrous tendencies and got both in the face at the same time as the blonde hurled them.
They both burst into a fit of giggles and the Latina stood to her full height looking feral. "Forget movies, let's go to your room."
Quinn slipped from the chair to her bed and got herself comfortable so the Latina could join her. "You need a pillow behind your back or something?"
"No, I'm fine. Just maybe roll my legs over towards you a little." She watched as Santana pulled Quinn's hip towards her; the legs followed and bumped into her knees.
"That okay?"
"Yeah fine. Is it okay for you?"
"Stop fretting, you always get antsy when we get intimate."
Quinn chewed her lip. "I just fret because I have no idea what half of me is doing to you."
"It's only doing good things to me."
"But how can that be? I still don't get how you can think that they are okay," she waved at her legs.
"They aren't okay, they are fabulous, just like the rest of you."
Quinn made a noise that said she disagreed.
"Shut up and kiss me," Santana ordered slipping an arm under Quinn's head and pulling her closer still.
The blonde wrapped her own arms around Santana and kissed her. It was a long, slow kiss that built gradually into a fervent urge to probe her tongue deeper and deeper. They stayed wrapped in each other, tasting and nipping, intertwining their tongues for what seemed like ages, though in reality was just a couple of minutes.
"You are an amazing kisser, Quinn Fabray." Santana eventually stopped for some air and let the blonde roll back a bit to breathe.
"You're not bad," Quinn quipped, a tinkle of laughter following.
"I love your laugh. It's so deliciously cute and yet dirty at the same time. It makes me go all jelly inside when I hear it. I love you being happy again."
Quinn had a little heart melting moment at hearing Santana's words. She was better known for her long rants than she was endearing speeches with sincere overtones.
"Thank you, that's such a nice thing to say."
She just gave a nod of acknowledgement.
"Do you know what I love about you?"
Santana rolled closer again. "Personally I think it must be my overall awesomeness," she suggested.
"As well as your self-effacing modesty," Quinn added with a total lack of sincerity and a cheeky smile. "Actually, it's your loyalty and your tenacity. When I am with you, I feel like I can try anything and be completely safe. You give me confidence. After the year I just had, that is probably the most difficult thing for me to get back, but you have given it to me over and over again. I owe you a debt of gratitude."
Santana actually blushed. Red cheeks and everything.
"You make me ache with desire," the darker girl responded. "When I see you give me that little cheeky smile or flash of your eyes I just want to rip your clothes off."
"You make me feel like hot chocolate on a frosty day," Quinn countered. "All warm and snuggly and cosy, but then sometimes you're like spicy and hypnotic and I can't take my eyes off you."
"Okay, Sue has me on the masterclense, you can't talk dirty to me with food involved."
Quinn just chuckled. "You need to rebel against that; it's not healthy."
"Yeah but if I gain a pound she threatens to put me at the bottom of the pyramid."
Quinn stroked Santana's face and they met for another slow kiss.
"Tell me what feels good for you," Santana demanded. "I need to know how to make you feel the way I see you."
"How do you see me?"
"You're amazingly beautiful. You're strong, independent, sexy, determined. How do I make you feel like that?"
Quinn shrugged. "This is all new San. I don't have the answers yet."
"I guess I should experiment then?"
"They told me in rehab - they have the best sex ed I ever got there, go figure - that for someone like me, I need to see what's happening and I need you to talk to me about what you're doing because that helps my mind understand and make connections. Apparently I might still orgasm but I won't necessarily feel it, or I might feel it somewhere else, maybe even just in my head. There's no instruction book."
Santana stroked Quinn's hair back from her face. "You'll tell me if I make you feel uncomfortable. Tell me to stop and I will." She lifted the hem of Quinn's T-shirt to reveal the skinny hips and smooth abdomen below. Sliding her hand up, the T-shirt rose until Quinn could wriggle out of it. Santana watched Quinn trying to arch her back, but it was tough to do. There was a line now, clearly evident; the area below the little crease was smooth and didn't do a lot, just sort of wobbled a little, not with fat, but just because it couldn't move. The area above had the creases that outlined muscles that still worked. Quinn had a four-pack and she was lucky to have that. Her injuries had been dangerously close to leaving her paralysed from the chest down. A little help lifted the T-shirt away from Quinn's arms and it was hastily discarded, followed a few moments later by Quinn having reciprocated and pulling away Santana's shirt.
The blonde dug her elbows into the mattress to get herself more comfortable and then let Santana's hands roam over her upper body.
"Tell me what you are doing," Quinn bit her lip.
"I'm just touching your amazing skin, babe. It's so soft and smooth." She let her fingers stray around the side of Quinn's ribs. "It's perfect."
Quinn inhaled as the long fingernails brushed against her ribs in smooth, gentle circles.
"That's so good," she mumbled into the Latina's ear, strategically placed close to her lips. Quinn pulled Santana's head around to kiss her and stroked the hair back out of her face. "Thank you for indulging me."
"I'm not, I'm indulging me," a husky laugh bubbled through Santana's utterly kissable lips.
The Latina trailed kisses down the pale skin of Quinn's long neck, over her chest and in between her breasts. They weren't very big, but they were perky and standing to attention, which brought a smile to her face.
She squeezed Quinn's left nipple in her fingers and watched the other girl's face change into a slightly feral appearance. Quinn ran her hand around Santana's ribs and pulled her on top of her. Santana dropped a knee in between Quinn's thighs and began to lift it rhythmically.
"Can you feel the movement?"
Quinn nodded. "In my chest. It feels better with you lying on top of me, I feel like there's something there then."
Quinn grabbed Santana's right breast and started kneading it in time with the Latina's grinding. It made the darker girl sigh and arch her back slightly.
"That's so good." Santana looped her leg over Quinn's hips so she was straddling her and rocked back and forth, taking both Quinn's breasts in her hands and gently squeezing them with the same motion.
Quinn looked down and could see and feel the movement, allowing her brain to get fooled into thinking she could feel Santana's hips on hers. It was really strange to see and not feel her body most of the time. Especially when she was lying down; it just felt like her lower body wasn't there and that made her sad from time to time. But when there was pressure on her lower body, somehow, she had a sense of it still being attached to the rest of her. It helped to ground her and take away the floating feeling.
"How do you feel?" Santana asked with a low, guttural sound in her throat.
"Like I'm lying under you. I can feel the weight of your body pushing into mine. I feel wanted."
"You really are, but are you ready for more?"
The blonde caught her lip between her teeth and nodded. "I trust you."
It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to Santana.
She placed her lips around Quinn's right nipple and sucked gently, nipping with her lips and teasing with her tongue. At the same time, her other hand found Quinn's sex and started to massage, pushing her fingers in and out to the same rhythm. Santana was conscious of what she was doing, but she soon realised that Quinn wasn't. Not only did she not feel her fingers inside, but she was dry and showed no signs of getting wet.
A small pain found its way between her eyes, but she closed them quickly so that Quinn wouldn't see the little bit of sadness, she was enjoying the work going into her boobs. Quinn's breathing was changing so Santana moved her other hand and teased the pale ribs instead, swirling her fingers around and then over her shoulder and the nape of her neck, even into her scalp, all the time, her mouth continued to work the blonde's breast until Quinn panted quickly and seemed to just buzz for a few moments before sighing. It lasted the briefest time, but the pale form just seemed to melt into the mattress.
"Did you just…"
"I don't know. What's it supposed to feel like?"
"Seriously? You mean you never… before…even, never?"
Quinn shook her head. "It felt nice and sort of shivery right up into my hair, but I don't know if that's what it was."
Santana looked at Quinn and then her gaze lowered to see the pale skin was mottled with pink over her chest, neck and cheeks. "I think that was it," Santana grinned really cheekily. "Did you like it? You've flushed red so I'm guessing that was it."
"I had an orgasm?" Quinn asked and then repeated herself. "I had an orgasm!"
"Aargh!" Santana was so excited. "I am truly a genius, I made a paraplegic orgasm."
Quinn just laughed and then she cried a bit with the relief and something else that wasn't really definable. It was sort of like finding the centre of your universe in the most unexpected way.
—
2020 Manhattan, NY
"Did I tell you the artist is my best friend?" Rachel held onto the arm of her escort for the opening of Quinn's work at the gallery.
"You did, about three times Rachel and I'm excited to meet her. Why don't I know her again?"
"You left before she joined and then you were persona non grata for a while."
"That's right, totally your fault I might add."
"You threw eggs at me!"
"Actually I didn't so much throw them as I smashed one on your head," Jesse gave her his sweetest smile. "I am forgiven, I take it?"
"Yes, but only because you are so handsome and make me look good." Rachel pretended to be precocious and then started giggling. "I really was very high maintenance, wasn't I?"
"You were, but then so was I," he smiled at her. "We've come a long way since then."
"We have. Thank you for coming with me. I wasn't looking forward to being here unaccompanied."
"I would have been in touch sooner if I'd known you and that glorified cook had split up."
"He's one of the most famous chefs in America, Jesse," Rachel defended her previous relationship even though, she could admit that the guy really had been somewhat less than a gentleman.
"He's a douche," Jesse stopped to admire the first picture on display.
"Funny, that's what we used to call you!"
"Ah, the unmistakable dulcet tones of Santana Lopez."
"Jesse the Douche, how are you?" Like a smiling assassin, Santana kissed him on both cheeks.
"Not as much of a douche as the last guy Rachel dated."
"That's true," the Latina broke into a giggle. "It's been a long time. You look good though. I better just have security run a search however, just in case you've brought eggs along."
Jesse grinned. "Touché, Ms Lopez."
She handed him and Rachel a glass of Champagne.
Rachel accepted. "Just the one," and received a nod and a knowing smile from her friend.
"So where is our artist?" Jesse asked. "Rachel tells me you are married to her."
Santana nodded and smoothed her sparkly black dress. "She's making nice with the sponsors first. Priorities right? I'll rescue her in a little while if they don't let her go."
"Jesse and I are performing together starting in a month. We have a new show." Rachel couldn't contain her excitement.
"Oh my god, why don't we know this already?" Santana gave her a hug.
"It was only confirmed yesterday."
"Congrats to you both. We've been so busy the last couple of days."
"Aunt Rach!" Beth bounced over so she could greet the shorter woman.
"God, Beth, you grew again?"
The girl just laughed. She looked really grown up in a beautiful dress and a pair of small heels. "No, mom let me have some shoes with a heel for the first time. Why are they so hard to walk in though?"
Rachel looked at Santana who just rolled her eyes. "She would have come in tennis shoes if we let her."
Rachel rummaged in her bag. "I have something for you, lovely Beth. Your birthday card and a little something else as well."
Beth took the packet and placed it in her handbag, which was also a first. "Thank you so much. I'll open it next week on my birthday."
They shared another hug and introduced Jesse. He asked how old she would be and she replied.
"I'll be ten on Wednesday."
He thought about that briefly and smiled. "I thought you would have been at least twelve," he charmed her.
She hid behind her hand and snorted, shaking her head. She looked so much like Quinn when she did that, it was crazy.
"Sometimes she thinks she's older than that," Quinn rolled to a stop. "How'd you like it?" she nodded at her picture.
Rachel immediately heaped on the praise.
"Hey Q, remember me telling you about Jesse the Douche from Vocal Adrenalin?"
"Tana!" Beth put her hand over her mouth. "That's a naughty word."
"It was his nickname," she defended herself to Quinn. "Meet one and the same," she clapped him on the shoulder.
"I'm sorry about San," Quinn replied politely. "It's lovely to meet you."
"You too," Jesse bent a little and kissed her hand rather than shake it.
A raised eyebrow from the blonde towards Rachel was met with a blush. "I take it," Quinn asked suggestively, "that Jesse is someone who understands your world?"
With a knowing little smile, Rachel nodded and hooked her arm through Jesse's. "Yes, he does," she replied.
—
February 2012, Lima, Ohio
"So let me get this straight," Santana didn't care who heard it. "All I have to do is give you this ten dollars and I get a vocal valentine for my girlfriend, Quinn Fabray?"
"Absolutely, ten bucks. That's the deal."
"And just to be clear by that I don't just mean my friend who's a girl, but my girlfriend, girlfriend?"
Joe looked a little confused and turned to Mercedes who rolled her eyes. "Oh boy," she sighed. "This is going to take some explaining."
Santana had beef with everyone at that moment. Figgins was reprimanding her about PDAs, when every heterosexual couple in school was freely exchanging saliva without getting so much as a second look, then stupid Tarantula Head Joe looked like he was smacked upside the head when she asked him for a vocal valentine. Double standards everywhere.
"It's okay, San. It's just a song and I appreciate the gesture." Quinn ran a hand up and down her girlfriend's forearm as they were at the lockers.
"That's not the point," she huffed. "It's unfair, the way you get treated differently because your life doesn't fit into the neat little package that everyone else's does. It's not like we're committing a crime or are dealing drugs, for god's sake. We just wanna be together."
Quinn made a noise.
"Okay, Ms superior, you get extra bonus points for the wheels too. Actually that could be a way around Figgins; tell him that banning us from PDAs goes against the ADA or some shit like that."
"Er…I'm pretty sure it's more important than securing the right to playing tonsil hockey." Quinn rolled her eyes. "Come on, we have Glee."
Santana shrugged and followed the other girl to the choir room.
Rachel and Finn started them all off with a speech about getting married which kind of sent Kurt into a tailspin of a rant. Quinn wasn't really listening and just gawked at Rachel.
"You guys are no way mature enough for a responsibility that big. There's a reason not many people get married at our age."
"Well I for one defend your right to be together with whoever you want," Santana insisted, still bristling over Figgins earlier in the day.
Quinn turned and stared at Santana while Rachel mumbled something about not being invited and it being a shame that her best friend wouldn't be wearing a bridesmaid's dress.
It was a complete slap in the face and Quinn could barely focus on anything Mr Schue said about prepping for regionals after that.
Kurt turned and gave her a smile of thanks for taking his side. They were, it seemed the only two people in the room who knew this was a major mistake to be making for two people who were barely eighteen.
"Thanks for speaking up, Quinn."
She shrugged. "I don't know what's going on in her head Kurt. I know she thinks she loves Finn and he thinks he loves her, but what the hell?"
"Our parents and the Berrys are playing this little game of approval in the hope they won't run off and elope or something. They're both kind of headstrong and I honestly wouldn't put it past either of them right now."
"But why? I thought Rachel wasn't sure. She told me a couple of weeks ago about him proposing but why now? What's the rush?"
"He's scared. Finn doesn't want to leave school and grow up. He knows Rachel has her heart set on NYADA and he's still not sure that he doesn't want to stay here and work at the tyre shop."
"They're both better than this Kurt, we need to do something."
He shrugged. "I've been trying for days, but as you can see, I'm not getting through."
Rachel didn't speak to Quinn for a while and even when she did, things were strained between them. They were both sad about it, but also believed in what they had said. It was a moral stand-off.
The Sugar Shack went down a storm with everyone and Santana finally got her vocal valentine for Quinn out of Joe, who in the end came to the conclusion it was okay to sing love songs to gay people. She didn't care that it took him a day or so to decide, she was just happy in the moment. She even got Quinn out of her chair and into the booth at Breadstix, which was a first.
—
"I need her to see reason, San. How can you think this is a good idea?"
"I don't, but if the dwarfette and Pillsbury Doughboy want to get hitched, they should be allowed to. Besides, it will give Rachel's dad, the lawyer one, a boost to his 401K, because she'll be needing a good divorce attorney by the time she's nineteen."
Quinn knew Santana didn't mean what she said, but it was frustrating. Between her and Tina giving the couple their blessing, it wasn't helping to cement the idea it was stupid to marry so naively.
Quinn ground her teeth in frustration. "That's spectacularly unhelpful of you."
"It will be a disaster, we all know that, but it's their decision."
Quinn folded her arms and sighed heavily. "She's still not speaking to me, well, not properly."
"That could be considered a blessing," a wry smile broke across Santana's face.
"Still not helping," the blonde's tart response fell on deaf ears.
—
Rachel sang better than Quinn had ever heard her sing before at regionals. She wasn't sure if it was the occasion or what was to follow, but it brought out the best in her friend. She sang to Finn, of that there was no doubt and the look on his face when she did was priceless. It made Quinn's heart melt but she still knew in spite of that, getting married was a mistake of huge proportions.
That aside, Quinn had to accept there was no persuading Rachel when she was determined to do something, so she would go along with it, even if that meant holding her hand and offering Kleenex a few years down the road when things went pear-shaped.
As they left the stage and went to the dressing room, trophy in hand after wiping the floor with their opposition, Quinn deviated from the others and went to her locker. She removed the large white clothing bag and peeked inside at the bridesmaid dress. With a sigh she took the bag and headed for the locker room. It took her an age to figure out how to put it on then actually drag it up over her hips and shoulders. Eventually she had it on, though not fastened, she couldn't reach the zip unaided.
"Looking good Fabray!" Blaine and Kurt strolled past, arm in arm, as she rolled down the hallway.
"Thanks boys," she replied. Spotting Rachel ahead, she called out to her best friend.
"Hey, how do I look?"
Rachel turned and met Quinn's optimistic smile with somewhat less enthusiasm.
"You look happy. Everyone deserves to be happy," the brunette replied. "Especially you."
Quinn melted. "You were singing that song to Finn and only to Finn right?"
Rachel gave her a shy smile and nodded.
"He really does make you so happy," the blonde saw her friend's face light up at the mere mention of his name. "I want to support you, Rachel, you and Finn, and come to the wedding if it's not too late?"
Rachel almost jumped on her, shaking her head as they hugged tightly.
Quinn grinned at the response and gave a huge sigh of relief that they were still friends.
—
"Face it Rachel, Quinn's not coming."
Rachel scowled at the Latina. "No, she said she'd be here and I believe her."
Kurt rolled his eyes. If he hadn't seen Quinn wearing the dress, he'd never have believed it either.
"She forgot her shoes, that's all. She sent me a text saying that she was just driving home to get them."
"Quinn always forgets her shoes," Tina added in agreement. "I think she'll be here if she said so."
"I don't get why she even bothers wearing them. It's not like she would know if her feet got cold," Brit added with a confused look on her face.
Normally it would have been funny, but Rachel was too stressed out to find any humour in the situation. She picked up her phone and typed out the message 'WHERE R U?' before pressing send.
Quinn glanced at her phone again. It was sat on the passenger seat beside her bridesmaid shoes, buzzing repeatedly. She sighed in frustration at yet another slow moving vehicle. When it went off a third time, Quinn responded with a reply.
'ON MY WAY'
It was at precisely that moment, the huge farm truck in front dropped a bale of hay in the road and she had to swerve to miss it, thus veering across the road and into the ditch.
—
"Please you have to tell me," Rachel begged. "I need to know she's going to be okay."
"I'm sorry miss, I can only give out information to next of kin."
"But you don't understand, she's my best friend!"
"I'm sorry, but it's hospital policy," the woman on reception looked firm and not exactly open to persuasion, but before Rachel could try charming the info out of her Judy ran in looking frazzled.
"Why does this keep happening?" She ran to the desk. "Quinn Fabray, I'm her mother."
"Just give me a moment and I'll get someone here for you."
Rachel looked distressed, but not as much as Mrs Fabray and promptly shut up after Santana gave her death glares.
A nurse came out and called Judy through to the ER.
"Santana, come on." Judy called her to go through.
"I'll come and let you know as soon as I can okay," she grabbed Rachel's hand and found it squeezing back.
Rachel followed them to the door but it closed behind and she knew she would have to wait to find out how bad it was.
"Broken leg?"
Quinn was bemused. "I guess that's okay then, I can't feel anything."
The doctor didn't look so happy.
"Has anyone spoken to you about how dangerous that can be for a paraplegic?"
Quinn scrunched up her nose and shook her head. "Don't think so, maybe in rehab but I'm not sure. I might not have been listening."
"Quinne," her mom sighed and held her hand. "You have to be more careful now."
"I know, mom. It wasn't my fault, I couldn't do anything else and that bale of hay was huge. I would have been totalled if I hit it."
Santana punched her right shoulder. "I swear, if you scare the crap out of me again, I will go all Lima Heights."
"I'm okay. It's just a busted leg."
"It's a little more serious than that, Quinn. You have a fractured femur and though we won't need to do surgery, you are a big risk for complications so you will be here a few days at best and maybe longer if there are knock on effects."
"What?" The blonde just waved down at her leg. "Why can't you just stick a cast on me and let me go home?"
The doctor shook her head. "It doesn't work like that for you I'm afraid. We can't cast you, its a huge risk for pressure sores, so we will have to splint you instead. It will need daily checks to make sure decubitus ulcers haven't formed and you might need a drain if your blood pressure meds cause too much bleeding. The femur is a big bone and in your case, it's not as dense as it should be, hence the fracture."
The three women just looked confused.
"It's common for paraplegics, especially women, to develop brittle bones because you aren't standing on your legs as you should be for long enough."
"But I use the stander every day," Quinn argued.
"I understand that, but its not enough to maintain normal bone density."
"So I have brittle bones now as well?"
"The test shows the bones in your legs have lost some density. We can put together a plan to try and improve or at least stabilise it, but it will be an ongoing issue for you. I'm sorry Quinn, but you will have to stay in and let us keep an eye on you until we're sure there are no clots or significant bleeds going on in that thigh."
Quinn nodded. "Guess you better get me some PJs and stuff from home. I'm sorry mom, honestly. You must have been freaking out when they called."
Judy gave her a sad smile of confirmation. "It's fine now I know you're okay."
Quinn shrugged. "I didn't even know anything was wrong with me. It's a little crazy to break a leg and not even feel it." She glanced down at her thigh which was swollen and reddened. "How's the car looking?"
"Not too bad. Burt's gone to look at it for you, he sent me a photo." Santana held out her phone and Quinn saw her new car in the ditch.
"I guess, just a few dings. Can't believe this happened to my new car."
"I can't believe the lengths you will go to get Berry to postpone the wedding!" Santana chuckled, then her face fell. "Oh crap! I better go tell her how you are, she's probably attacked the woman behind the counter again for info."
—
"I'm really sorry about the wedding Rach," Quinn apologised as soon as Rachel entered her room. "I swear it wasn't my fault."
Rachel simply moved quickly to the bed and grabbed her into a hug. "You scared me half to death," she mumbled into Quinn's shoulder, crying instantly.
"It's okay, Rach. Not like I was walking anywhere anytime soon was it?" Quinn replied, her arms wrapped around the narrow frame of her best friend.
"Why do these things keep happening to you? It's not fair."
Quinn chuckled. "I guess not, but whoever said life was fair in the first place?"
Rachel sniffed. "Your mom is going home to get some things for you and bring Beth. Do you need me to get you anything?"
Quinn smiled softly and shook her head. "You should go be with Finn, he's got to be really pissed at me for this."
Rachel shook her head. "He understands, everyone does. We all care about you. Are you sure I can't fetch anything?"
Quinn nodded and sat back. "I'm okay. I'll be bored, but not so bored you need to get me another giant jigsaw this time. It's just going to be a few days, not months."
Rachel grinned then and her shoulders shook with a laugh. "I'm so happy you aren't badly hurt."
—
"I'm kind of glad we postponed the wedding. Now it doesn't have to be some Justice of the Peace quickie. I was thinking that with nationals in Chicago this year, maybe we could get married some place really special like the pitcher's mound at Wrigley field or some other place really great…" Finn's voice faded as he saw disappointment etched on Rachel's face.
"It's not that, it's just that Quinn…she's…"
"Right behind you," Finn nodded, turning his girlfriend around to face her best friend.
Rolling towards the couple, Quinn was back in her own wheelchair and wearing a huge smile on her face. She shared a big hug with them both as Rachel gushed and the blonde waved off the pleasantries.
"Don't, Rach please. I'm just really glad to be back and Finn, again, really sorry about the wedding."
"Hey, it's cool. We were actually just talking about that and we're happy to have time to plan it properly now instead of rushing actually, so please don't apologise any more. It wasn't your fault. How's the leg?"
Quinn glanced down at the large, black, padded brace on her left leg that prevented the broken bones from moving around. "Mending, slowly. It's annoying and inconvenient, but I guess I'm okay. Better than being in the hospital," she shrugged.
"Well, we're all relieved that you are back."
"So am I. I'm pretty relieved to have my best friend back too," Quinn gave Rachel a cheeky smile. "All forgiven now?"
Rachel nodded. "Ancient history."
—
"You need anything?"
"I don't think so," Quinn glanced around the room. Her leg was elevated as instructed on the special foam pillow and the brace was back on after Santana checked her skin to make sure there were no red marks. "Just check my circulation so we know it's not on too tight."
Santana peeled off her socks. Carefully she pressed down on both Quinn's big toes and watched as the white pressure mark faded back to pink on both.
"The left isn't as good as the right."
"It hasn't been since it got broke, so long as the blood returns in a few seconds, its okay."
Santana nodded, seemingly satisfied and replaced the sock, taking care to smooth out the creases. "I hate that you have to go through this crap again, Q. I thought… I thought we were through worrying about this shit."
Quinn's shoulders sagged briefly. Santana was clearly tiring of dealing with her physical limitations; it was always a fear lurking the back of her mind.
"No, don't get like that, I'm not bailing. I just feel like it's not fair on you," Santana explained.
Quinn inhaled. "I thought you were just going to say this is all too much and you can't cope with it. I would understand you know. If that's how you feel."
"Q, I'm going to bust your other leg if you keep on like that, I swear."
"I'm just saying that I would…umph!"
"I said shut up, Q!" Santana had her hand clamped over Quinn's mouth. "I love you."
"Mmm?" Quinn tried to reply.
The Latina removed her hand.
"You do?"
"Shit, Q. Of course I do, otherwise why would I put up with all your crap?"
"Well there is that," the blonde replied with a sly grin. "Then there's the sex… umph!"
Santana clamped her hand firmly over Quinn's mouth again. "Beth's sleeping in the next room. You can't shout about that," she hissed.
"Oh. You care about Beth too?" Quinn melted.
The Latina shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant. "I care about everyone you care about." She dropped to the bed, carefully, and lifted her legs up so she was lying beside her girlfriend. "Your mom and me, we both had a good cry together after we found out you were okay. She's cool, you know how she doesn't mind about us."
"You wish your family was the same?"
Santana nodded thoughtfully. "Mammi and papi are okay but my grandmother, she's definitely not okay with it. I didn't even get a chance to tell her about you, she just kicked me out of the house. Papi tried to explain but she won't listen."
"I think mom knew but didn't want to admit it. She was really shocked when I told her I was pregnant, like she couldn't believe I would ever have sex with a boy,"
"Why did you?"
"We've talked about this," Quinn's voice dropped. "I was drunk, it was a mistake trying to fit in with everyone else."
"But why go through with it when it wasn't what you wanted?"
"I suppose I was ashamed of thinking that way. About girls I mean. Daddy always said being gay was a sin against God and I believed him, so I tried to prove that I wasn't but it backfired in the worst way."
"I hate being judged because of who I chose to love. It sucks. Why can't people just let everyone decide for themselves without all these rules?" Santana crossed her arms in a mood.
Quinn slid a hand through the arms and tugged Santana closer.
"The people who matter don't care."
"Try telling that to my grandmother."
"I will if you let me."
Santana gazed into Quinn's eyes and felt herself drowning in them. She snuggled into an embrace. They talked some more and kissed a little. Quinn's leg prevented anything much more physical.
"I can't wait for college and a chance to get away from this hick town and all the judgemental assholes who think we're committing some sort of crime."
Quinn smiled. "I forgot to tell you actually, I got into Yale."
"What the f…fudge? Why didn't you tell me before now?"
"I kind of felt bad because you weren't sure what you wanted to do. I also don't like the idea of going away without you."
Santana thought about that and decided to take a risk. "I will go wherever you do. I doubt I'd make Yale but I've been thinking a lot lately."
"What about?"
She shrugged. "I kind of want to make a difference now. I realise I was selfish in the past and wanted what I want, not thinking about the world around me and what I could do to make it better. I don't know if its because I love you or because I see what a difference a few small changes can make in your life, but I want to change the way the world is for someone like you."
Quinn's jaw dropped. "What do you mean?"
"I want to design a world that is accessible for everyone, I want to be an architect and someday, I want to build us a house from scratch where there aren't any limits for you."