A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting.
I had a busy few weeks.
The usual disclaimer applies
Chapter 13
The car wasn't too badly damaged, which was a relief. Burt had done Quinn a solid by getting one of his buddies to fix the damaged wing, axle and paintwork. He'd fitted a new coolant pump and fan himself, as well as putting on a new wheel for the damaged one and replacing all the tires on the car. The insurance company paid the bill, but still, she appreciated that he'd checked everything over for her before she could drive again.
Now she was back at school and back behind the wheel, Quinn's mood improved significantly and she set about helping Santana. Her science grades were excellent, clearly she had inherited her father's intellect there, but her English grades weren't as good and that wiped out Ivy League.
"What about this one?" Quinn looked at lists of schools with architecture programs with Santana in the library.
"It has to be on a list, Miss Pilsbury said not all programs were acceptable for state practice. I think I underestimated how hard this was going to be."
Santana wasn't the most patient researcher in the world.
"What list?"
The Latina brought up the accreditation website.
"Okay, so we start with Connecticut and work out geographically from there." Quinn entered the state and hit search for the accepted programmes. "Did you meet the entry criteria for any of these?" She looked at the long list, some familiar, many they'd never even heard of."
"Where is Princeton anyway?" Santana huffed and looked for somewhere familiar.
"New Jersey," Quinn replied thoughtfully.
"God no," Santana replied. "No way in hell. That might actually be worse than the place in Kentucky Sue wants me to go to."
"It's near New York and it's only an hour away."
"I need closer than that," Santana folded her arms across her chest.
"Most of these seem to be in Boston or New York. There are only a few in Connecticut. One of them is Yale."
"I'm not going to get into Yale, Princeton, MIT or Cornell. The Ivy League types aren't my style anyway."
"What about Hartford? They have an undergrad course in Architecture and Engineering. That sounds more your style instead of these urban planning type courses. You can do a Master's after that. Should take about seven years to get qualified by these people who give out accreditation. Who knows, maybe if you do really well you can move somewhere else for your Master's."
Santana eyed the page in front of her. It did seem like a course for someone who actually wanted to build something.
"Okay, put that on the list."
"Rhode Island looks good too. Its further away but looks like a good program."
Again, Santana agreed.
Quinn gave her an elbow in the ribs. "We make a good team," she grinned.
"Yeah we do," Santana replied. She checked over her shoulder and glanced around then stole a quick kiss while no one was looking.
Fall 2020, Riverside, Connecticut
"Hurry up, San. You're going to be late for your own graduation or whatever it is you call it."
"It's still a graduation, Q." The Latina walked into the kitchen looking immaculate and had her robe in a clothing bag. "Why are you rushing?"
"Because we need an hour plus time to park and then you need to get ready. The line for the photographer is probably already out the door."
"Of for Pete's sake, calm down. This isn't going to be like your fancy graduation with all the other preppy Yale types, it's not a huge school and I don't care about the photographs and dumb speeches anyway. You can take my photograph, not some second rate school photographer."
Quinn blushed slightly. "I guess I can, I didn't think about that."
Santana ran a hand over her shoulders lovingly. "Come on, babe. Let's grab our kid and get going before you have a heart attack." She turned and yelled through the open door. "Beth, get your caboose down here now!"
Feet pounded down the staircase and Beth arrived in the doorway, freshly scrubbed and clean, her hair in a ponytail and a white dress with sunflowers embroidered over the shoulders.
"Cardigan or jacket, Beth. It will be chilly out," Santana reminded her.
"I don't understand why you have this now when you finished ages ago." Beth grumbled collected her jacket from the hallway. "Will there be a lot of boring speeches I don't understand."
"Probably, but it will just serve to prepare you for your future life anyway." Santana grabbed the keys to the car and they headed out. "The ceremonies only take place twice a year and I couldn't go to the one earlier because we went on vacation. The ceremonies are usually a few months after you finish college anyway."
"I don't get it." Beth took her usual seat in the back.
"San's getting a Master's degree, not a Bachelor's degree. Its a little different."
"Like more harder?"
"Not the best use of English, B, but yes, it's more difficult. She's better qualified than before so now she can build bigger projects."
"And earn more money?"
Quinn rolled her eyes. "It's not about money, it's about being good at something."
"But she made our house ages ago and it's really nice," Beth argued. "I don't get why she had to go do more school."
"That was one of her projects, but she wants to build bigger things. Imagine building a whole town or a huge skyscraper." Quinn waved her hands in the air dramatically.
"You could take nice pictures of it if she did."
Quinn chuckled.
"I guess you're right."
—
Quinn parked her chair in the allocated space and though Beth had the seat beside her, she actually slipped onto her mother's knees and played with her phone while they waited for the ceremony to start.
"Oof," Quinn complained as Beth shifted and pushed the camera she was holding into her ribs. "Careful, B."
"Sorry," Beth moved a little so she wasn't squashing her. She was busy taking pictures of the ceremony. Santana was sat on the opposite side and kept looking over towards them and while Beth was more concerned with all that was going on around her, Quinn and Santana still just had eyes for each other.
And so it was that as her name was called out a while later, after the boring speeches and the formalities, Quinn watched her wife ascend the steps to the stage and walk across to collect her master's degree.
It had been a long journey. Their first year in college had rough, both living in campus housing and nearly an hour apart from each other. Quinn in New Haven and Santana in Hartford meant almost a two hour round trip depending on traffic and who was driving. Beth had also been separated from Quinn; taking care of herself was still hard enough, but managing that, plus a toddler and school on her own just wasn't feasible. Beth stayed in Lima with Judy and Quinn felt about as lonely as it was possible to be even though she made friends at Yale.
The only advantage had been the work. Missing everyone so badly gave her an excuse to work hard as a distraction and she had. Santana too had thrown herself into something with all the passion she had stored up inside her. For the first time in her life, she found something she gave a shit about and it made her put everything she had into getting things right. Her mom's money didn't get used for student loans, it was a down payment in waiting. She was going to build them a house, no, not a house; she was going to build them a home. San didn't know where yet, but she had it in mind. Something pure and white on the outside and free of mess and clutter on the inside, but warm and bright. She wanted somewhere that didn't need compromises for Quinn. First though, she needed to learn how to build a house and that's what she kept her mind on.
Their second year had been easier. They had spent ages looking at different places and found a small single storey house for rent near the VA hospital in New Haven. They took it and though it wasn't perfect, Quinn could get around. It didn't have every accommodation needed, but with a few items purchased, it was good enough for the time being and Santana didn't mind the commute to Hartford if it meant they could be together. For the first semester, Beth stayed with Judy, but then Quinn insisted it was time for her daughter to be with her. It was hard and the couple didn't have the usual undergrad experience as a consequence, but they were a little family and together, they felt a sense of empowerment for the first time.
—
April 2012, Lima, Ohio
"Rachel blew the audition!" Santana just looked horrified. "How the hell'd that happen? She practically came out of the womb singing that damn song."
Quinn looked sad. "I don't know. She's never caved under pressure before but I guess it could happen to anyone."
"I blame doughboy and that damned wedding stuff getting to her." Santana crossed her arms and huffed.
"Maybe," Quinn scrunched up her nose. "I feel really bad for her though."
Santana nodded. "Did you accept the accommodation from Yale?"
"Yeah, but it's single only so I'm not sure I want to go without Beth. Mom said I should leave her here and she'd take care of her until I graduate, but four years without seeing her every day just feels wrong. Maybe I should just go to OSU instead."
"Hey, no way, Q. You got into Yale! Like only one of the best universities in the world. You'll be set for life after that. Beth will understand that leaving her here is part of ensuring she has a great future once you have your bachelor's degree. I know how much you'll miss the little munchkin, but this is too big a chance to blow and if anyone deserves a great life, it's you."
Quinn shook her head. "She won't understand. She's still so small and can't understand things like this. All she will know is that I abandoned her to go away to college. It's selfish."
Everything was going wrong and Santana didn't like it one bit. The only bit of good news they'd had was winning regionals a few weeks ago. Mr Schue was planning their trip to Chicago already.
Santana crouched beside Quinn and placed her hands on the blonde's slender thighs. "Beth will be fine. You need to go to Yale. If it's possible to find a way to get a place together in sophomore year, we'll do it and I'll help you take care of her. We'll find a way, I promise." She just had to hope that one of her applications worked out.
—
"I got in!" Rachel stared at the NYADA stamp on the letter and her mouth fell open. "I can't believe I got in."
It didn't take long for word to get around that after their amazing win in Chicago, Rachel had been accepted to NYADA. Quinn was thrilled for her. They had been through a rocky patch earlier in the year, but now, even if she deferred a year as she suggested, Rachel was going to New York where she belonged and things were working out okay for the rest of them too. Santana had been offered a place in Hartford, so Quinn agreed that they could make things work okay even if her mom kept Beth for the time being.
Rachel sat in the choir room just looking around one last time before they went to their graduation ceremony.
"Hey," Quinn rolled in. "I've been looking for you everywhere."
Rachel stood and smiled at her. "You found me," she shrugged. The warmth and affection radiated from the short woman.
"I just wanted to congratulate you; I heard about NYADA."
Rachel's smile widened even more.
"I know I will still be here next year, but I can taste New York again for the first time in a month and it feels amazing." A dreamy look washed over Rachel's tan features.
"About that," Quinn's face changed.
"What?"
"Come and sit down with me for a moment," the blonde nodded at the piano stool and Rachel walked over to sit beside her. Taking a deep breath and risking another void between them, Quinn launched into the speech she had prepared in her head.
"You can't stay here next year, Rach. I think Finn is cute and all, and I know how good a friend Kurt has been but you cannot put your life on hold for them. As much as you think New York will wait, you're wrong about that. It won't wait and I know you will still sing next year if you stay but I watched you on that stage and you owned it. You are amazing and I'm worried that some of that might wear off without Glee next year. You'll get distracted by other things and it might just take that edge off you. Please don't defer. Take your shot now while you can."
"Quinn, I can't go without Finn. You know how much I love him."
"I know, but we never know what the future holds and things change, especially our feelings as teenagers. We don't know what we want for sure and I just think you should take the chances you get now."
"But…" Rachel lifted her head and glanced at the ceiling preparing an argument to defend her decision.
"Rachel, look at me." Quinn's voice softened. "I thought the same thing a few weeks ago. Santana didn't have a confirmed place and I just didn't think I could leave her and Beth for a year at least to go to Yale but she convinced me that I would miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. I nearly died, Rach. I came close to losing everything and if that didn't teach us all a lesson about grabbing the opportunities when they find us, we haven't learned a damned thing and this was all for nothing." She waved at her legs. "I thought this was just some weird kind of punishment from God for a while, but it wasn't. It was just life happening and we never know what the future has in store so we have to take a risk every now and then. Finn will find his way to you if that's what you both want but you shouldn't risk everything you ever wanted banking on that."
Rachel had tears welling. She nodded solemnly and stood. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself and then reached out and gave Quinn the longest hug, mumbling in the blonde's ear as she held on "Do you think I'm being selfish? I don't want to stay. I want to go to New York."
Quinn chuckled softly. "You're not being selfish, just fulfilling your destiny."
Rachel nodded. "Thank you for this."
The blonde nodded. "I think it's time to get ready, don't you?"
Rachel took her hand and pulled her towards the door, running straight into a worried looking Latina.
"What the hell, hurry up you two. We need to get moving or miss the ceremony." San handed Quinn her gown and plonked the cap on her head, lopsided, before taking the back of the chair and pushing her towards the auditorium while the blonde held onto everything.
"Slow down, San or you'll throw me out of the chair."
"You shouldn't have spent so much time counselling Berry. Do you have your speech ready?"
"I guess," she shoved her hand into her pocket and pulled out the folded paper.
San came to a halt outside the entrance and helped Quinn into her gown. Their classmates were already in line and chatted excitedly.
Quinn took a deep breath and fastened her robe.
—
"Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for McKinley High School's class of two thousand-twelve." Figgins waved his hand with a flourish. "And now, please settle down for the valedictorian, Quinn Fabray." Figgins exaggerated the vowels in her name as always.
She gulped audibly and rolled across the stage to the microphone, cleared her throat and wondered if her voice might come out like a squeak instead of clear and confident. She had always been good at faking it, even under pressure.
"I wondered how I would feel about this day when it finally came," she began a little hesitantly. "Which is funny really because I feel really full and yet only half of me feels anything," she shrugged and a ripple of laughter went through the audience and her classmates stood behind.
"If you asked me four years ago what my life would look like today, I would have run away screaming - like literally!" More laughter followed. "But actually its pretty great. I somehow lost my childhood in a whole heap of mistakes and yet I feel great right now. Life isn't a smooth path, it's a road with plenty of obstacles and sometimes they seem insurmountable, but they aren't. Sure we might get a little bruised or scarred along the way from all the trips and falls but they just help to guide us and teach us a few lessons. I learned a lot here at McKinley. I learned who to trust and who to listen to. I learned that I can handle much more than I thought and I have more to offer than I imagined. I learned to trust people again after being a little burned. I found myself in a different world to the one I used to inhabit and it was scary but I feel stronger for having survived the experience. I lost part of myself that I loved and yet I found some other things that more than filled the gap. I realised that true friends are those that stay; when you can't run away from your problems, they don't either."
A round of applause followed and she felt a hand on her shoulder. It didn't matter whose it was just that one of her friends reached out and let her know she was talking about them.
"Years from now, we will all look back on this time and remember some of the events and some of the people. We can't take everything with us, but we can always take the time to thank those who made the experience special. I would like to thank Mr Schuester in particular for making my experience here memorable. Glee gave me a home when I didn't know where I belonged and not just me." There were whoops and cheers as the modest man waved thanks towards his students.
"I am thrilled to be going to the next chapter of my life and like so many others, I know that getting through high school intact, or mostly intact in my case," more laughter followed her wry smile, "has given me the courage to face the new challenges that lie ahead. Thanks to our families and friends for their support and encouragement and congratulations to everyone graduating today."
She was relieved when it was over. Santana hugged her from behind and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Great speech but I don't know why you were so worried about it."
The blonde rolled her eyes and held her girlfriend's hands over her heart. "Thanks for the support," she shouted amongst the noise on stage.
—
August 2012, Lima, Ohio
"Do you need this comforter?" Judy held it in her arms after fishing around in the bottom of the closet.
"Hmmm, I'm going to say no." Quinn was somewhat less than decisive.
"Winter on the east coast isn't going to be any less cold than here, sweetheart."
Quinn shrugged. "I'll be fine mom. I'm not going to freeze to death, besides, I'll be back for a weekend or two before the worst of winter. I can take it then."
Judy frowned. She wasn't overly pleased that Quinn and Santana were driving to Connecticut, but Quinn had insisted she needed the car.
"I feel like I had my legs cut off without it," she had cracked a wry smile as she let her mouth run away with her.
"Don't you sass me young lady," Judy replied.
"Young lady? Mom, really?"
They had both fallen about laughing for a while. And then Judy cried because her baby was leaving home for college and she was absolutely worried to death about her.
"I'm going to be fine mom, really. I'll be super cautious and make sure I take care of myself. There won't be any frat parties or sorority parties either on my card. I'll see the nurse regularly to get checked out. As if San's going to let me get away with being careless anyway."
That was true at least. Santana had been to see Judy. The teenager had promised the older woman that she would check on Quinn each day and they would see each other most weekends. If she wasn't looking after her health, the Latina promised she'd go all Lima Heights on her.
"What does that actually mean?" Judy had asked. "You're not going to be violent."
Santana had rolled her eyes. "It's just what I say I'm going to do when I want to intimidate someone. Let's just say it works sufficiently to get them to rethink their actions," an evil little grin appeared on her face.
Judy just laughed and gave her a hug.
But now reality was setting in; they were actually packing up most of Quinn's things to take with her and it made the room feel very empty all of a sudden.
Beth toddled into the room with her favourite teddy bear and plopped down in the middle of the piles of things Quinn needed to take with her. Her room was like an obstacle course.
"Grandma," Quinn called out. "Beth escaped again."
"There you are my angel," the older woman appeared and scooped her up. "Every time I turn my back you go running off."
Quinn smiled at her daughter. "Here, grandma, let me have her for a bit. I've hardly spent any time with her the last few days."
Beth was dropped down into Quinn's lap. She had a big grin on her face and waved her bear at Quinn.
"Momma, teddy," followed by some baby nonsense emerged.
"Is teddy hungry?"
Beth shook her head.
"Is Beth hungry? Do you want some raisins?" Quinn reached behind her for a small box of raisins sat on the bedside table. Tipping the box out into her palm, she let Beth pick at them for a few minutes. "Maybe I will take the comforter, mom." It would remind her of home when she missed everyone in Lima.
—
2020 Manhattan, New York
"This is soooooooo nice, mom."
Quinn grinned at her daughter. "Thank Aunt Rach, she found it for us." Placing her bag on the small table in the entry to their hotel suite, the blonde glanced around. It was really nice, in fact it might have been the fanciest hotel room she had ever been in. It was bigger than the first house she and Santana had shared in college.
"Will we see her today?" Beth ran back to speak to Quinn. "Tana said she was probably busy, but I really want to see her. I missed her so much after she stayed all summer."
"I think she has to do something today, but if she can make dinner with us, I'm sure she will. She has odd work hours remember."
Beth slid onto Quinn's knees and wrapped her arm around the seated woman's neck. "I'm glad you don't work weird times, mom. I would miss you too much."
The girl was growing up fast, quite literally, but she was still Quinn's baby at times.
"Me too, baby. Where's Santana got to?"
"She was just putting bags in the bedroom, but they're like miles away," Beth exaggerated wildly.
A dry chuckle followed from her mother. "Go see where she is. I'm going to make a drink, if the kitchen is wheelie friendly."
"I bet it is, Aunt Rach would never send us somewhere bad for you."
Quinn acknowledged the truth in that. Rachel would have sent her neurotic assistant round to check the place out no doubt.
She had no sooner made her way into the kitchen, listening to Santana and Beth having a lively conversation about the weight of their daughter's suitcase and whether or not she had in fact packed the kitchen sink, than the telephone rang.
"Hello?" Quinn picked it up.
"Ms Fabray?"
"Speaking," the blonde replied, tucking the receiver into her shoulder as she filled the coffee machine with water.
"This is Jason at the front desk. I had instructions from Ms Berry to check that everything was acceptable in your room. I believe she has a matinee performance this afternoon and she personally requested I take care of anything you need."
"We're fine thank you, Jason."
"She was particularly concerned with everything being accessible from your wheelchair; I trust that it is."
"I didn't check everything out just yet, but so far everything seems fine."
"You'll let me know straight away if it isn't and I will personally see to it that the situation is remedied immediately."
Quinn grinned at the VIP treatment they were getting.
"I will indeed. Thank you for checking in with us." She bid him goodbye and turned her attention back to the coffee when the phone went again.
"Hello," she expected Jason to be phoning again, but it was a female voice.
"Quinn, Rachel begged me to call and make sure everything was fine with the room. I checked it out last week and the manager assured me that it was fully accessible, but you know how Rachel is and so I wanted to check."
Quinn recognised the voice of Rachel's assistant. "Everything is great, tell her we'll see her later and not to worry."
"I will, but after the first act, she's halfway through right now and I can't actually tell her until the intermission."
"That's fine. See you later." Quinn ended the call as soon as she could. The woman drove her nuts with the rapid fire conversation. She went back to making coffee and poured two cups. Santana came through rolling her eyes.
"I swear, she had more in that case than the both of us together."
A smile broke across the fair features of her wife. "She's growing up, San. Let her be."
A shrug followed. "Don't complain when she starts bringing home boyfriends with tattoos."
The smile faded from Quinn's lips. "Did she mention a boyfriend?"
Santana leaned over and kissed Quinn. "I was joking!"
The blonde balled up a fist and threw it at her wife's bicep.
"Ow, what was that for?"
"Scaring the crap out of me."
A dry chuckle sounded. "But you still love me right?"
Quinn's face turned from scowl to cute grin. "Maybe," she was coy for a moment. "How long do you figure we wait before the boyfriend 'talk'?"
"I'd say until she's a teenager. Wait for the hormones to kick in first," she replied before dropping into Quinn's lap. They shared a relaxed hug. "This is a nice place. Berry did good."
"She seems excited each time I talk to her. Not sure if it's the new show or the grief counsellor, but I'm relieved."
Chewing the inside of her mouth a little, Santana confessed. "I talked to her about that actually."
"You did? I'm surprised; I wouldn't have thought you were comfortable talking about that with anyone."
"I've grown," the Latina gave Quinn a sad smile. "I told her about my therapy and she understood I think."
"That couldn't have been easy for you."
"No, but I wanted her to see what she couldn't. You saw how she was drinking, that was only going to go in one direction if she didn't sort herself out. It needed to be said."
"What did you tell her?"
"I told her about not being able to let go of my anger at what happened to you. Even told her that I missed who you used to be back when we first met."
A raised eyebrow indicated Quinn really was surprised how much Santana had been willing to share.
"I still do, but I'm not angry about it anymore. We're okay you and me, right?"
A soft smile spread across the blonde's face. "Yeah, we're okay. Everyone I know is jealous of our relationship because even though our lives aren't perfect, we've always known what we wanted."
"Not everything," San blushed a little. "I was kind of thinking, Beth growing up so quickly kind of caught me out some. I don't think she should be a teenager before she has a little brother or sister do you?"
Quinn tilted her head to the side, questioning with her eyes. "Another baby?"
A shrug followed. "Maybe even more than one, who's counting? And you know, we're a little more financially stable now so I could … I mean if you want or you could…" another shrug followed.
Quinn beamed. "Another baby? I wouldn't mind which of us, I just didn't think you were interested right now."
"I love you and Beth; I'm happy but I'd love another baby too."
They both heard a sound and turned to see Beth staring at them. A sudden icy shiver passed across Quinn's shoulders. They should have had a talk with Beth first.
"What does that mean?" the younger blonde seemed unsure. "What you were talking about just now?"
"Beth, come here," Quinn nudged at San to get up.
"What's going on?" the girl repeated.
"Nothing is going on. We were just thinking aloud and it was careless. I didn't realise you were there." Quinn motioned for Beth to sit in her lap.
"Well I was and I want to know."
"San and I were just talking about the possibility of having another baby. We wouldn't have done anything about it without talking to you first. You just caught us by surprise before we had a chance to think about it some more."
"You want to have another baby?" Beth seemed a little taken aback. They had never mentioned it before.
Santana crouched down and sat on her haunches. "Babe, we aren't going to do anything without including you, but I would like for you to have a baby brother or sister. Now I have my masters and we are both established at work," she pointed at Quinn, "makes it a good time to be thinking about this."
Beth went quiet for a moment. "Who is going to have the baby, you or mom?"
"We only just started talking about it now. We haven't come to any decisions." Santana had always been honest with Beth and that wasn't going to change.
"It would be nice for you, because mom had me." Beth shrugged. "Just thinking that's all."
Quinn was briefly perplexed and then a half smile appeared. She tugged at Beth's shoulder so the girl faced her. "You think it's a good idea, B?"
Beth just nodded. "I think it would be really nice to have another kid in the house." She sounded so grown up, Quinn was really proud of her.
"I guess it's settled then," San stood up. "Come on, we better get moving if we are going to be on time to meet Aunt Rachel."
Beth scooted up instantly and ran to get her things.
Santana watched her leave and took Quinn's outstretched hand. "I really, really love you a lot," the blonde said softly.
The darker woman simply leaned over and kissed her firmly on the lips, stealing her breath and her heart in one move.
—