Title: Against the rules

Chapter 09: Have Mercy

/.\

"G-Give me a second!" Lena stammers before taking her fingers out of my hair and sitting up. I pull her sports bra down, getting a sneaky touch as I do, and pull her top down too. Making sure it looks natural.

I get up with Lena and she pulls me towards her bedroom. Her fingers causing me to want to push her against the wall and-

"Come on Lena! I haven't got all day!" I hear Mercy's voice again, her yell causing us both to flinch. Lena puts me in her room but before she shuts the door, I capture her lips one last time. It was a hurried kiss but it was good.

She shuts the door once we part and I hear her run for the door, she did leave Mercy there for a long time. I also hear all the locks I put on the door last night that Tracer probably doesn't use.

"H-Hey. Sorry I had to do something. Come in." Lena says to Mercy. God I wish I could see this. Where's my visor?

Fuck…

No, no, no, no, no, no, no…

It's on the coffee table.

And all of my other stuff is in there too…

Fucking hell.

What if she sees it? Lena would be in so much shit. All of the stuff in there says Widowmaker written all over it. If she sees it, we'll both be mortally screwed.

I open the door a crack making sure not to make a noise as I do. I see Lena and the blond woman in the kitchen. The blond is checking through the fridge and the Brit look terrified.

"Goddamn it Tracer, you need more food in your fridge. Wait, is that..? Is that cream? You don't like fresh cream." She stands up from looking in the fridge and looks straight at Lena.

Her eyes avert anywhere but Mercy's pointed gaze causing her to look directly at me. Her face turns from terrified to scared shitless. The change in expression made Mercy look behind her and in the living room. I duck out of the crack in the door so she doesn't see me.

"Lena Oxton. You better tell me what you're hiding. You never look this scared to see me and you're acting weird." I hear Mercy's voice, a lot more stern than what it was moments ago.

She's getting suspicious. We're fucked. So, so fucked.

The brunette stays quiet, for once, which shows her resilience against what Mercy is asking.

"Fine I'll find out for myself." I hear those words that make my heart jump up into my throat. What if she finds me? What if she disapproves?

"Who's that stuff behind the couch?" I hear her ask. Fuck she's one step closer. "And on the coffee table?" Fucking hell, all she needs to do is look under the hoodie to see what it is.

"I-I don't see why it matters who's it is." I hear Lena stutter, she's struggling out there. Her voice this vulnerable just makes me want to hurt Mercy.

"What have you done Lena!" Her voice growling and yelling. Has she found my gun? My visor? Oh fucking hell I need to see to know!

"A-Angela. Just stop please." I hear Lena whimper, causing me to act on pure instinct. Which I'm proud it wasn't killing someone but it might as well have been.

I pull open the door to see my gun and visor on the coffee table fully shown. Lena was looking at the ground like a told off puppy and Mercy was glaring daggers at her.

Lena looks up at me and pure shock comes over her face before panic. Mercy obviously notices this and spins around to face me.

"Even better! She's in your apartment! Why the fuck is she here?!" Mercy yells at the smaller girl causing me to get angry, no one speaks to my Lena that way.

"Don't shout at her." I say firmly, making sure she knows that there will be consequences for doing it.

"I'm a doctor, I tell people to stay away from things that can hurt them and you can definitely hurt Lena." She snaps at me, the venom in her voice just as thick as her German accent.

"You two… please-" Lena starts but I cut her off, this Swiss needs to be put right.

"I wouldn't hurt Lena." I growl, her even insinuating that brings a big ball of rage to my chest. Lena slowly moves between us both making sure we don't bite each other.

"You're just saying that now. You're an emotionless killer. You don't care about anyone." She throws verbal daggers at me. Well I can't say anything against that apart from the fact that I do feel things but I don't want her to know that.

"Mercy, enough." I hear Lena say to her, voice firm and daring. But the blond didn't get that message.

"It's true though, she's killed thousands, even her own husband." That last comment was below the belt but it's not like I can say I didn't do it because I did.

Lena must've seen my face change because she glares deathly at Mercy before moving towards me. Her face softening as she looks towards me.

"It's alright Amélie. Just ignore her." I hear Lena's reassuring voice, much more confident than earlier.

"Ignore me? I say the truth! She's a monster, a cold-blooded monster at that." She sneers at me. But speaking to Lena, completely ignoring me.

I've had enough. I grab my grapple and slide it up my arm. Next I grab my visor and pull it on before shoving my hoodie on and gripping my gun. Just as I lift it off the table I feel Lena's warm hands embrace my arm.

"Amélie. Please..?" I hear her almost broken voice as she looks up at me, scared and worried. She must know what I'm about to do and disapproves. Of course she does, it's Lena Oxton.

"How dare you call yourself Amélie. You killed that woman- no person- the day you slit your husband's throat!" Mercy yells, flaring my anger. She just had to remind me how I killed my husband.

/.\

I held the knife tight. It didn't stop the trembling limbs as I naturally held it like I knew it for years, like I was trained like a dog. Kill him. It whispered, my mind clouding from all of the anti-emotion pills they forced down my throat.No. I'm not a monster. I'm his wife. I can't do this. I'm still Amélie.Do it. Kill him. He deserves it.Memories flash of strikes from my husband directed at me when his anger gets the best of him or I don't make him happy. But does he really deserve death? Have I ever loved this man? Why am I doing this!?You're better without him. I'll be your new friend. You can do this. He deserves this. Kill him.His throat bobs as he swallows naturally, it makes me want to push the hard steel against his artery and watch his blood pour out onto the white sheets and-No! Stop! He's your husband! You can't! Or can I? Fuck!The urges are getting greater, my digits tighten around the handle of the sharp utensil. My eyes rake his neck in the best place to slit to make the most blood pour."Amélie!" I hear him shout. Who's shouting? Who's he shouting at? I look up to see a hand about to strike me and grab it with my free one before skewering his neck with the sharp blade.His gags and coughs was music to my ears, the life slowly deflated out of his struggling chest as it took blood instead of oxygen. The sheets became red very fast, the speed of the spread exiting me.I looked up into his dying eyes and see only hate as he tries to kill with the last of his energy. He slowly becomes limp on the bed, a crazed smile appearing on my face, showing my pearly white teeth.It wasn't long until Amélie was back. I looked at his face, his last moments obviously contorting his face in pain. My heart wrenched in my chest, but in other ways I could be somewhat relieved, no more bruises to hide from colleagues, no more unnecessary pain from an arranged marriage.But I killed my husband!He deserved it. You know that.Shut up! Shut up!I'm a killer. I'm a monster. Amélie is gone. Happiness is no longer an option.Get back to Talon.And this time…I didn't resist.

/.\

I didn't know I did it until Lena pushes my gun out of the way and a bullet only just misses the blonds torso. Fucking hell. I shake my head, the spider can't come back. I won't let it.

I see Lena's face and see absolute distraught. She's heartbroken. The seriousness of the situation suddenly coming back. I shot her friend. Her face looks like London, just a million times worse.

I don't deserve this woman. I have no right coming into her life like this. I need to leave. I don't have the right to call her 'Lena'.

"You see? She's just tried to kill me! And you still want this, this thing here?!" Mercy growled. She's right. She'll always be right. I'm a monster, I'm a killer. I'm not Amélie.

Tracer must have seen my distressed face as she places her hand on my upper arm softly. "Amélie…" she whispers.

I can't do this to her. I flinch away and scowl at her. My heart racing in my chest and my spider crawling at my mind wanting to tell me things, it's getting too close.

"No. You heard her. She's right. I killed Amélie the night Gerard fell to my hand. I'm the bad guy. I almost killed Mercy. I'm a monster. And you need to stay away." I didn't didn't trust any more words to leave my mouth but the ones that did was firm and emotionless.

Her face dropped. She didn't believe me. She was about to protest. Her hand is getting closer to me. Gerard's hand coming down on me in a strike came to mind as she does this causing me to flinch back again. I felt my eyes prick in the universal sign of crying and shut my visor instantly. She can't see my weakness.

Her eyes was full of pain. I did that. It's my fault.

Kill her. Do it.

"No… stop it…" I growl lowly at the spider. How did it get out? I grip my head. I'm not hurting Tracer.

Tracer… it feels cold to call hear that now…

I need to leave.

I see Tracer try to get close to me again and I dodge past her hand and launch myself at the open balcony. I sprint at full speed before kicking off the metal railing and landing on the rooftop across.

I ran.

And ran.

And ran.

Little did I know, Tracer heard everything that I said to the spider and saw the tears running down my face.