Willow reached her hand up to knock on Tara's door. She been seeing a lot of her recently, squeezing in spell studying sessions in between classes and Scooby meetings. Studying spells is for sure a euphemism, Faith had said before Willow had thrown a pillow at her. But, she wasn't wrong. Sure, they did spells, and Willow was improving leaps and bounds with the extra practice (Jenny had been a little preoccupied as of late), but it was mostly an excuse to see each other, that much both of them secretly knew.
So how far have you got then? Buffy had whispered in the swirls of darkness, a rare night where it was just the two of them in the dorm room, the nail painting and hair braiding of their past sleepovers swapped for takeaway pizza and an early night (they were old and tired now). In the dark Buffy couldn't see Willow blush.
Umm nowhere actually. We're just seeing each other you know, getting to know one another.
Don't know how to make a move huh?
God no.
Buffy laughed, you'll get there one day kid.
I'm older than you. Willow grinned to a room that could see nothing.
Tara opened the door, her trademark soft smile spilling from her lips.
"Hi," she said, opening the door. Tara's room was darker than Willow had ever expected, every wall was painted black (she still didn't know how Tara had gotten away with that, the Uni had a strictly no blu-tac policy let alone paint). I'm not a Goth I promise, it just reminds me of the night sky. A small crack open, a look at the light inside. Scratching the surface of Tara, as if every tiny detail illuminated something new. Along the walls were draped cloths and tapestries depicting different star patterns (one day Willow hoped she would show her all the constellations), and there was a crystal ball perched on one of the shelves, a line of fairy lights hung down, twinkling like the night sky itself. It was cosy, like being at camp without any of the cold or social hierarchy. Across the bookshelves Willow could see titles like 'The Modern Witch; Debunking Stereotypes', and 'Understanding Potions and How to Use Them', stood nonchalantly next to 'Intro to Physics' and Southern American Geopolitics, the mixing of the realist and magical realm made Willow smile. The modern witch, the word still felt a little odd in her mouth.
"Hi," she smiled back at Tara. This nightly routine was starting to feel homely and warm like sweet tea and gingerbread as the winter nights grew longer. She walked into the room, placing her bag on the floor and sitting down on the edge of Tara's bed. "Did you get the salamander eyes, for the spell?" Willow said, smirking a little, imagining her fifteen year old self hearing herself say those words. She didn't even know what a salamander was.
"Yeah I did, the guy at the magic box ordered them in for me."
"Cool," Willow said, looking down, Tara had placed all the ingredients down on the rug, in a neat little row next to the cauldron (as much as Willow hated the stereotype – sometimes they were useful). The magic rug, they had nicknamed it, shame it doesn't fly; maybe one day (a smile.)
She moved to sit down, crossing her legs in her usual spot, back against the bed and Tara sat opposite, a book with aged yellow pages opened at her side. A lot of Tara's books had belonged to her mother, and her grandmother before her. Willow wondered what that felt like, to have a strong familial connection, to be able to feel your blood running back through generations, to share something. She hadn't talked to her mother since the start of Uni, and even over the summer all she got was a few hmm really's over the top of her newspaper. Tara's eyes filled with sadness every time she talked about her mother, Willow hadn't really gathered much about her passing, but it seemed as if Tara had been young. Willow didn't know whether it was worse to have had that connection and lost it, or never to have had it at all. Tara smiled at her, breaking her from her thoughts.
"So what first? The sage?"
Willow peered over at the spell book, "I guess so." she said, reaching over to pick up the sage, rubbing it between her fingers before tossing half a sprig into the pot.
"Now the oak root," Tara said, reaching for a small pot of grinded root, throwing it into the pot from which a small amount of blue smoke was already starting to curl.
"Okay," Willow said, smiling at Tara, "now the feathers?"
"Uh-huh," Tara said, and Willow leaned forward to pick up the feathers, accidentally knocking the cauldron over, which immediately started to bubble into the carpet, forming a small burn circle,
"Oh god, I'm so so sorry!" Willow said, "I can help clean it up, I can pay for the carpet, whatever!"
"It's fine," Tara said, staring at Willow and Willow became very aware of how close their faces were, how she still hadn't moved her hand from where it fell when she caught her balance, just to the right of Tara's hip. She could feel Tara's breath against her cheek. "The magic carpet can c-cover all sins, remember?" Tara said softly, as if she were trying to control her breathing, subconsciously shifting to move slightly closer.
"Hmm" Willow said, not breaking eye contact as she moved closer to Tara's face, before kissing her softly and gently, her second hand propping her up just behind Tara's back as Tara reached up to cup her face. It was nice and sweet and soft, they broke apart, grinning slightly, "I would have ruined your carpet sooner if I'd have known," Willow smiled, and Tara shook her head, reaching forward to kiss her again, the spell forgotten for right now.
Buffy swung her stake around absent-mindedly, cursing Faith for being busy. She had recently started singing with one of the local bands, twice a week at the bronze, and as much as Buffy loved to see her up there, shaking her hips and flashing those sultry eyes, she didn't enjoy being abandoned to slay alone because of band practice.
Whatever happened to; to slay is your true calling, your life's work? Giles had never let her go to anything in high school, the engagement really was making him soft. Still at least she had something, Buffy loved Faith but sometimes having her with her 24/7 could be overwhelming. Not that she would ever tell Faith that, underneath all those layers of eyeliner she really could be quite sensitive. And it wasn't as if Buffy was growing apart from Faith, not even in the slightest, sometimes she just missed the days where she could come and lie on her bed alone. Sometimes the pressure of being surrounded 100% of time, played on her chest like a drum, the guilt at thinking it producing a counter-tune. She could never win.
She crossed the grave yard for the third time that week, maybe it was just Buffy, maybe she'd just improved her skills, upped her game, but the vampires just didn't seem to come out that much anymore. Not that she was complaining, she could do with a nice early night, a couple of candles, and some chamomile tea maybe. She missed baths, there wasn't one in halls. Maybe she'd call by Giles', she thought idly. Bang. She spun around, a large cracking sound coming from the woods behind her. I got you now, Vamp. She gripped her stake with a familiar ease, turning on the balls of her feet, keeping a fighting stance like Giles had always taught her.
The girl came swaggering out of the woods, her head high and posture controlled. She was tall, very tall, her hair long and straight and pale blonde like wisps of gold, she smirked and Buffy could see the blood dripping from her teeth. Buffy's face hardened.
"The famous Buffy huh?" The vampire leered, moving towards Buffy at lightning speed, Buffy jutted out her stake but missed her, she was already behind her, her cold, bony hands pressing into her shoulders. Buffy span around, but lost her balance, falling onto the floor, her elbows crunching against the mud. The vampire stood over her, her pale face looming, the moon behind her like a halo, her sharp fangs highlighted in the moon's glow as she moved closer to Buffy, pinning down her arms.
There was a crack behind her and the vampire span, "I guess it's just too easy, slayer" she said, dragging out the last word like a slur, "some other time maybe," she winked, running off into the woods at lightning speed, leaving Buffy bruised and bewildered (and her favourite coat covered in mud.) Her mouth hung open with shock, what just happened to her?
"And this vampire, what did she look like?"
"She was tall, long blonde hair, and quick as heck," Buffy said, as Jenny handed her an ice pack, wincing as she put it against her split lip. She still couldn't focus, her ears ringing, her hands shaking as she tried hard not to fall off the kitchen stool. She pressed her hand against the counter but it didn't seem to ground her any more in reality, like she was a balloon, her string tied, floating higher and higher into the sky, watching the world shrink below her, powerless to stop it.
"No one you've seen before?" Giles continued with the questioning,
"I think I'd remember," Buffy said, Jenny noticing her shaking hands and taking them in her own rubbing to warm them a little, and Buffy smiled at her through the ice pack.
"Hmm the others should be here soon, we'll see what they think," Giles said,
"Do they have to?" Buffy said, her voice smaller than usual, throwing Giles off and making him get that sympathetic, loving look in his eyes.
"It's Tuesday, Buffy," Giles said softly, "team meeting day, I'm afraid they're already on their way," he reached out to touch her shoulder, "I'm sure it'll be okay,"
Buffy swallowed, it wasn't that she didn't want to see her friends, she just felt spacey and shaky and they could be so overbearing at times, even if it was just because they cared. And Faith. She supposed Faith was coming. The thought made her feel a little sick. Not because she didn't love her. But because she would be concerned and affectionate and the last thing Buffy wanted to do right now was play their little routine. Buffy's hands shook more as she switched over the ice pack to her left hand. Jenny looked at Buffy, her shaking hands, the gaunt look on her face,
"Maybe we should call it off Rupert?" she said just as a loud knock echoed through the room,
"I guess that's the cavalry," he said, looking apologetic, before walking to the door, Buffy could hear the murmur of greetings and exchanges, turning around to see the familiar red hair of Willow, the grin falling from her face when she saw the wounds on Buffy's face.
"Buffy you okay?" she said, rushing towards her, Buffy nodded solemnly, "What happened?" she said, taking her hand.
"I think she just needs some space," Jenny said and Willow nodded.
Buffy did the I'm fine routine twice more before Faith arrived, the concern clouding over her face, clocking the shaking hands before simply squeezing her hand and landing a small kiss on her temple. Buffy leaned into her neck, feeling more settled. Maybe she'd underestimated Faith, and the guilt started to gnaw at her stomach again, of course she loved Faith, of course she wanted to see her. Sure she could be brash and bold, but she was also sensitive, Buffy knew that better than anyone else, and she knew Buffy, knew what she needed. Still Buffy felt too guilty to look her in the eye.
This chapter was originally longer, which is why it may feel a bit disjointed idk, it just got very long so I decided to split it in two. Hope that's okay, and hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review if you can, and have a nice day!