Chapter 98: The Fourth

[Scene: The O'Sama house. Beryl, Neffy, and Jeddy are in the formal dining room having Belgian waffles and champagne. Neffy's holding an icepack to his forehead. Kunzite comes down the stairs, all smiles]

Beryl: You're in an awfully good mood this morning.

Kunzite: [wistful] I've finally got to do something with Zoisite I've been dreaming about doing with him since the moment I first laid eyes on him.

Jeddy: What's that?

Neffy: [mumbles through his hangover] Don't answer that question. We don't want to know.

Kunzite: [shoots Neffy a dirty look] I got to drift off to sleep while holding him in my arms.

Beryl: [tartly] Ah. That's so sweet.

Neffy: Thank god for that.

Jeddy: [a bit perplexed] Wait a minute….This isn't the first time you've slept in the same bed.

Kunzite: [grins] Yes, but it is the first time we got to fall asleep together immediately after—

Neffy: [Throws down his icepack] Whoa! Do not finish that sentence! I repeat, do not finish the sentence! The sentence ends right there!

[Kunzite makes up a tray and starts to carry it upstairs]

Kunzite: If you need me today, I'll be in the field out back training Zoisite…There will be a thunderstorm today, to cover up any noise, explosions or bright flashes of light…oh, and if any of you decides it might be a good idea to harm him in any way, with or without Mother's blessing, I WILL KILL YOU. With or without mother's blessing. Is that understood?

Neffy: [chuckles] Hey, you have nothing to worry about. Beryl never liked being the only girl in the house. And if Zoi can't take him out already, Jeddy's certainly not going to try to cull the only person more incompetent than he is. [shakes Jeddy by the shoulder] Isn't that right, Jeddy.

Jeddy: [snarls at Neffy] And since Neffy's already been declawed, defanged, and deneutered as far as Zoi is concerned, I'd say you have nothing to worry about.

Kunzite: [Smiles] Glad to hear it.

*** Fast forwarding past the training to several weeks later. Hope nobody feels cheated. ***

[Several weeks later…]

[Scene: Hen Tie High. The bell has rung and Kunzite and Zoi are kissing passionately in a corner by the door of the lab while the other students are going to their next class. Zoi looks up at a clock and then breaks it off.]

Zoi: Oh, no.

Kunzite: What's wrong?

Zoi: I'm going to be late for gym class.

Kunzite: Really? I must have lost track of time.

Zoi: I thought you said you were incapable of losing track of— [punches Kunzite's shoulder] Hey wait a minute!

Kunzite: [innocent smirk] what?

Zoi: I suddenly realized that the whole reason you've been keeping me out of gym class all this time is because you don't want the other boys to see me in my underpants.

Kunzite: [frowns, deeply offended by the accusation] No, not at all. I kept you out of gym class because I love you, and I wanted to spend time with you, and that seemed the best opportunity to steal some time alone with you…[smirks]…keeping the other boys from seeing you in your underpants is just why I'm making you late today.

[Zoi gives him a peck on the lips]

Zoi: You're silly.

[Zoi vanishes in a flurry of petals and reappears in his gym clothes at the back of the line of boys filing into the gym. He takes his seat in the bleachers between Umino and Mamoru. He uses the trick Kunzite taught him for soaking up ambient energy from the crowd of people sitting passively around him, but it's maddeningly slow.]

Mamoru: Welcome back to the gym, buddy.

Zoi: Thanks.

Umino: Just in time for prom. Are you and Kunzite going?

Zoi: Nah. That's not really our thing. What about you guys?

Mamoru: I'm taking Usagi. I've been saving up for weeks to buy our tickets.

Umino: And Naru and I are tagging along.

Zoi: [Smiles] That's great. You'll both have to call me to tell me all about it.

[The gym teacher enters with a volleyball in his hand and blows his whistle]

Gym Teacher: Listen up. In honor of prom we'll have another tournament. Volleyball this time. Two on two. Winning team gets two VIP tickets to the prom.

Mamoru: [wide eyed] Oh my god. I need to win those.

Gym teacher: Once again, we're start with the weakest link. Zoi Midori get up here.

[Mamoru and Umino's jaws drop]

Umino: Hey! That's not fair! He's been in a coma!

Mamoru: He just got out of physical therapy!

Gym Teacher: Good. Maybe he's finally developed some strength in those puny little arms of his.

[The other boys are muttering or laughing at the diss, but Zoi's just sitting there with a deranged grin on his face]

Gym teacher: [tosses the volleyball to Zoi] Consider this a makeup assignment, considering you've missed more classes than you've attended.

[Zoi rises from the bleacher and Mamoru rises along with him. Zoi shoots him a grateful smile as they walk to the volleyball net, but when Mamoru reach for the ball Zoi shakes his head.]

Zoi: I'll serve, if that's ok with you.

[The boys take their places and Zoi sets up to serve, but at the last second he makes a slight turn and when he hit the ball it goes rocketing right into the direction of their gym teacher.]

[The gym teacher barely has a second to react before the ball collides with his midsection like a cannonball, sending him flying about five feet through the air before he drops with a thud onto the gym floor.]

[The ball hit the far wall then rolls on the ground, but Zoi stops it with his foot just a few inches away from the gym teacher's face. Zoi looks down at him with an evil grin.]

Zoi: Oops. Sorry about that. I guess my puny little arm must have slipped.

Gym Teacher: W-who the hell are you?

[Zoi examines his fingernails]

Zoi: You know how some people wake up from a coma with an uncanny ability to speak a second language? I woke up from my coma with an inexplicable talent for kicking your ass.

[Zoi tosses the ball over his shoulder and it swishes through the basketball hoop on the far side of the gym.]

Zoi: So, are you going to give those tickets to Mamoru now? Or do we have to go through a full hour of this?

Gym teacher: [holds up the tickets] Take them!

[Zoi snatches the tickets from his hand, gives them to Mamoru, then saunters back to Umino and sits next to him, ignoring the murmurs of the boys around him.]

Umino: [tugs his sleeve] Um, Zoi…could I get the number of your physical therapist?