Grind 3.5 A Cure For What Ails You
A string of popping noises announced the retreat of my fire lizards. Who could blame them for leaving such a terrible… no. No, that's not right. I, I'm not a terrible person! I'm a hero! But I… What the hell came over me? And why did I still feel afraid? My head clearing, I could now make sense of the voices around me. I did my best to listen as I wiped away tears and snot from my face.
"What the hell just happened?!" Glory Girl shouted.
"For the last time Vicky, shut. Down. Your. Aura!" Panacea shouted at her sister. "She was acting completely normal until you got here, and I know you have the damn thing cranked to the max! I don't care how much you want to make a good first impression that does not justify you playing with anyone's emotions like that!"
As the healer finished her tirade the last of the fear slipped away settling into a mild unease, the kind that leaves the hair on the back of your neck standing up.
Slipping my mask back over the lower half of my face I adjusted to a slightly more comfortable sitting position. I was not about to try standing up, not until I had my breath back and my chaotic emotions under control.
The hand that clamped onto my shoulder nearly made me jump out of my skin, but a quick glance revealed a concerned looking Panacea. "You alright? I've never seen anyone have such an extreme reaction to her aura before."
That was her aura?! It wasn't supposed to hit that hard, obviously, or we would not still have crime in the city but then why… As the dots connected in my head I groaned and leaned back sprawling out on the roof. "My little dragons and I, we have an empathic link, must have multiplied the effects."
"That does not explain you kissing me!" Glory Girl shouted from twenty feet away where she hovered. "And not that there's anything wrong with it, but I'm not gay, I have a boyfriend!" She sounded a bit panicked.
"Congratulations, neither am I." I deadpanned back at her. Normally I was against stereo types, but I could not fight the thought that perhaps Glory Girl fit the dumb blond mold. That stupid aura was part of her power, and I knew she had been a cape for a few years now, did she really not know she was flying around in a love me bubble?
Panacea's eyes went wide and her head jerked back and forth between her sister and I.
"Bullshit! You kissed me! Why else would you kiss me?!" Glory Girl seemed rather hysterical. I could sort of see why given that a complete stranger had just walked up and kissed her. On the other hand, FUCK THAT. She had just fucked with my head, I wasn't little Taylor Hebert who just sat back and accepted what was done to her. Not anymore. I had left that world of suffering and self hate behind and Glory Girl had just sent me back to it only worse.
I'm pissed.
"Yeah, I kissed you, because your stupid aura just FUCKED WITH MY HEAD! Oh, and by the way thanks for completely screwing up my first kiss!"
"What how is that my fault?!"
"Well if you didn't fly around with a 'fuck me' field I certainly wouldn't have thrown myself at you! How am I supposed to explain to people that my first kiss felt like something out of a cheap romance novel because I was being mind screwed at the time! And your fear me thing! What the actual fuck?! I haven't felt that horrible since my trigger! What the fuck is wrong with you, using such a screwed up power, you are supposed to be a freaking hero!"
I was blurting out whatever came to mind, and I did not care if I hurt her feelings. I had taken so much crap over the years from bullies, now I was free. I had spent the past few weeks in a blissful world where I did not have to be afraid, where I could make friends and be happy. Glory Girl, had just attacked my new reality with high grade explosives, but I was not about to let her get away with it. I would fight tooth and nail to hold onto my happiness. If that meant beating her off with a stick or destroying her world view with guilt, I would do it. Besides, if this is how she always acted I would be doing the world a favor.
Glory Girl could not seem to get her thoughts together, her mouth just opening and closing as she tried to pull together some sort of rebuttal.
"OK enough." Amy said. "Vicky, I think you should head home. I'm going to get Player back on her feet."
"Ames I…" Panacea cut her sister off. "Now, Vicky." Something in Panacea's tone had changed. In the hospital when dealing with Patients she had sounded bored, now she sounded angry, almost as angry as me.
Glory Girl, looking concerned, nodded and took off. Good riddance.
For a long time Panacea and I just sat quietly on the roof, my thoughts and emotions spinning out of control. In about a minute and a half Glory Girl had made me feel as good as I had after my public debut and then as bad as I had while trapped in the locker. Admittedly both were different sensations but the severity of the emotions was a decent approximation. Her power mixed with my dragons had been overwhelming. If it had not ended so quickly, well, the roof is seven stories up.
That thought sent a shiver down my spine.
Beauty, Rocky, and Diver chose that moment to come back. The three of them circled Panacea and I screeching in fear before they dived under my half cloak and clung to me like a lifeline.
"Are they alright?" Panacea asked. I had almost forgotten the healer in my rush to comfort my friends. It was a tricky task to gather all three into my arms at once even without holding a conversation. So I improvised. I scooped the three onto my stomach and wrapped them under my half cloak, whispering reassurances before I answered.
"Your sisters Aura, just like how I feel their emotions they can feel mine. We probably created a bit of a feedback loop. Poor things must be as rattled as I was, am." I corrected myself. I might not feel the crushing fear anymore, but I was still rattled.
Panacea seamed to mull that over for a long time. I whispered comforts to my dragonets doing my best to focus on warm and happy feelings, trying to shower my little friends with warmth and love. They had done so countless times already for me, I owed it to them to try and repay the favor.
Finally Panacea seemed to steal herself, "How bad?" it was a simple question but how could someone explain going from ecstasy to crippling fear and self loathing in a matter of seconds?
It had been very bad, like a concentrated dose of self loathing, a distillation of months, or maybe even years of bullying. The fact that it wasn't real, that it was imposed on me let me be angry, but after my outburst the emotions had all drained away. I simply felt exhausted now. I gave up on finding an answer and simply shook my head.
Clutching at my friends I could feel some small measure of my pre Glory Girl mood returning. I focused all of my attention on the good things I had done today. Closing my eyes I just tried to focus on the happy smiles of the people I had healed. It helped a bit, I tried again focusing on other bright moments. Vista trying to keep up her façade of veteran ward when I explained the meteor strike attack to her, then failing and running from the room to find something to practice with. Dennis telling me jokes as we drove from the PRT to my house the night I realized I had powers. The day of my public debut. The happy memories washed through my mind like a cooling balm, easing the fear and bringing a light smile back to my lips.
Being so lost in my thoughts Panacea caught me off guard when she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. "I'm sorry that Vicky put you through that, and I think we have a lot we need to talk about." I nodded numbly into her shoulder.
Pulling me back onto my feet and letting me lean into her Panacea brought me back inside the hospital where she quickly commandeered an empty room. When one of the nurses tried object Panacea told her in no uncertain terms that the room was only open because we had healed the previous occupant and that we would give the room back in short order.
Leaving me slumped in a chair she left for a few minutes before reappearing with two steaming cups in hand. Passing one off to me she hopped up onto the edge of the hospital bed. A careful sniff revealed that my drink was hot chocolate. "Thanks, I'm more of a tea person, but right now chocolate sounds pretty good too."
Panacea nodded. "Chocolate is the strongest natural antidepressant, the chemicals actually produce the same sort of sensation as love. Right now I think you could use some mild chemical happiness, you know?"
Nodding slowly I took a small sip, I did not particularly enjoy the idea of anything fucking with my emotions right now, but she made a very good point. I needed to level out my emotions. So long as she hadn't dosed it with anything stronger then chocolate it was probably a good plan.
"So, I don't know what to do now." Panacea said talking a long sip of her drink. "My sister just fucked with your head, and you chased her off with a tongue lashing. Can't say that I have ever seen her speechless before." Panacea chuckled dryly. Apparently the idea of her sister speechless was amusing.
"Not only that, but thanks to you I know it was fake." The healers voice sounded empty.
"How so?" I asked my voice not sounding much better.
The girl hesitated. Shaking her head she focused on her drink. Something was eating at her, and it had to do with Glory Girls power. That really only left only two options. She was either in love with her sister, or she was convinced that she was worthless. Then again it could easily be both. My experience certainly proved that the aura could switch between effects. Not only that but if she really was in love with her sister, the mental strain that must be putting on her. Yeah that settled it, both, definitely both.
"I'm not stupid Amy." I needed to address this, she needed to address this. Hopefully using her civilian name would help the walls come down.
Amy's shoulders slumped, she seemed to collapse in on herself, and her only vocal response to my statement was a grunt.
"You love her, and unless I miss my guess you hate yourself for it. It isn't your fault."
Panacea's next words were only a whisper. "Don't tell anyone." It was as much a plea as anything else.
I shook my head. This was beyond fucked up, this girl who had saved thousands of people in her career as a cape, in just a few years really, had been suffering as much as any of her patients. She just kept all that pain bottled up inside herself, and none of it was her fault.
I set the drink aside, and hopped out of the chair depositing my dragonets on the bed next to her, I wrapped my arms around the girl. My friends seemed to pick up on the mood and went to her. Rocky and Diver nuzzled at her sides and Beauty settled onto Amy's shoulder to rub against her cheek.
"I won't unless you tell me it's alright. But this can't go on, and we cannot let your sister do this to anyone else." Amy seemed to tense up. "I'm not saying she should be locked up or anything, but she needs to learn to keep that aura locked down as much as possible. The only way she is going to learn to do that is if she knows how it effects people long term." Amy started to cry, I felt like shit doing this to her, but if her sister stayed oblivious she would eventually do the same thing to someone else. This had to stop and I needed to help anyway I…
"Fuck!" I swore explosively. "I'm such an idiot! Amy, I think I might be able to help undue this."
Amy grabbed onto my shoulders and pushed me away to stare me straight in the eye. The look in her eyes was almost manic in its intensity. Speaking slowly, and clearly with more veiled emotion then I would have thought possible she asked me a single question. "How?"
"My healing, it…" I trailed off the look in her eyes changed. The bit of hope mixed with the intensity seemed to drain out of her as her shoulders slumped.
"The brain is a lot more complicated than a cut or broken bone it's…"
"No, please listen it's not…" I waved my hand vaguely before sighing and tapping at the comm in my ear. "Base this is Player."
"Player, this is Kid Win, what's the situation?"
"I finished up my healing session with Panacea then I met Glory Girl. Her power did not play well with mine. We didn't fight, but we also aren't about to be friends any time soon. I cannot go into details right now. The short version is Glory Girl flew off, now Panacea and I are in a really awkward spot. I think I can help but to do that I need approval to explain my power to her, in detail. Can you see about getting me clearance for that, quickly would be best."
Kid Win whistled long and low. "You are going to owe me an explanation for this later you know that right? I'll see if I can get Piggot on the line. Hold on just a sec alright?"
"No promise on getting you the whole story. It's not all mine to tell. I'll hold for Piggot, thanks Kid."
"Don't thank me just yet. You still need to get this by Piggot."
"Right."
Panacea fallowed the conversation with guarded interest. Tapping my mike off I asked. "I promise not to go into details but I need to give the director a reason to give me the OK to let you in on my full powers. Can I tell her that your sister's power has a newly revealed long term effect, which you are suffering from."
Panacea nodded cautiously. "Alright, but nothing more than that."
"I promise, that's all I'll say."
Just then the radio crackled back to life and I reactivated my mike.
"Player, you were supposed to be getting your healing ability evaluated. Would you care to explain to me how that somehow turned into a vague showdown with Glory Girl and a request to disclose the full details of your power to Panacea." The director's icy voice filled my ear.
"I'm afraid some of those details are not mine to share because they affect Panacea, and the situation I am trying to address. What I can tell you is that I had a very negative reaction to Glory Girls aura, which has prompted the theory that her aura has long term effects. We are fairly certain Panacea is suffering from those effects. I think I can help to alleviate them."
"Ahh the supposed ability to, what was it, eliminate mental contamination?"
"Correct, I have not been able to test it yet but I think it would help. The problem is Panacea has no reason to believe me, not unless I explain how I got the ability, and how it works at least."
For a few moments the line was silent. "Did the incident damage our relations with New Wave?"
"I'm not sure Director, Glory Girl and I certainly didn't see eye to eye when she left."
"If you are able to help Panacea with these 'long term effects' would that improve our relations with New Wave?" Really? The woman needed a reason to help out one of the world's most prominent healers?
"I would assume so director."
"Very well explain it to her, but swear her to secrecy, and I expect a full report of the incident on my desk before you go home tonight."
"Thank you director." With that I ended the call.
Now I just needed to explain my full power to a girl who was one more emotional revelation away from having a breakdown.
"OK, this may not work, but I need you to give me your hand, and trust me. If this works how I hope it will then I can show you what is going on, if not then nothing will happen and I just have to explain it without the visual aids."
Hesitantly Panacea took my outstretched hand and the Dragonets all perched on us. Closing my eyes I focused on the tugging sensation and on the black room. Moments later the effect took hold and I found myself in front of my wall of options.
"What, what is this?"
"Panacea welcome to the black room." I swept my arms expansively to include the entire room. "These are the options I have available right now. My power locks me in works of fiction, where I, and anyone I bring with me, have to play it out. At the end the powers of those people end up here where I can access them, I can have up to four at a time. The one you want to look at is Katara under Avatar: The Last Airbender."
Panacea timidly walked up to the wall reading as she went. "Remove mental contamination." The words came out as a whisper but the emotion behind them was staggering. In a whirl she spun around and looked at me. "Do it, I don't care if I'm the test run for this, fix me, please."
Nodding I grabbed her hand and focused on taking us back. Once Amy was seated in front of me I drew the water out of the flask on my back and focused. As the water started to glow I lifted it up to hold on both sides of her head. I could feel it, something distinctly wrong, like brightly colored lines drawn across clean white paper, they stood out. I set my focus on breaking them down into nothing.
For ten minutes I stood there focusing while Amy sat with her back straight and a blank expression. When the last of the lines where erased and I moved the water back to its container. She leaned into me and cried.