Chapter 100: Party Time
[Scene: The back of the limo. Kunzite hasn't taken his eyes off Zoi. Zoi is becoming petulant again.]
Zoi: This was all your idea, wasn't it?
Kunzite: [not taking his eyes off Zoi] Uh, huh.
Zoi: Was my dad in on this?
Kunzite: Of course.
Jadeite: [sitting across from them] Apparently, Motoki wasn't though.
Kunzite: [Takes hold of Zoi] I've been plotting and scheming for a while to get you to go to the prom with me.
Zoi: [tart] Why? So you can pretend I'm a girl?
Kunzite: [smiles] But you're not a girl, are you? [crouching over Zoi] Anyone who mistakes you for a girl is in for a big surprise.
Zoi: That excites you, does it?
Kunzite: It excites me a lot.
Zoi: [smiling] You're a big freak, you know that?
Kunzite: [kisses him] Only for you.
[Kunzite lowers Zoi onto his back]
Beryl: Hey, don't mess up his hair. I spent two hours with pins and a flatiron to make it stay like that.
[Kunzite rains kisses on Zoi's lips as he tries to make the best use of the cramped area at the back of the limo. He wraps one arm around Zoi's waist and takes advantage of the slit in Zoi's dress to caress the back of his knee]
Kunzite: Hmmm…[staring at Zoi's leg] remind me to thank Beryl for that tonight.
Beryl: [sighs] I'm right here.
[Kunzite and Zoi ignore her and kiss passionately]
[Neffy looks back and then turns around in his seat]
Neffy: HEY! No gay sex in the back of the limo! If you two start doing it, I swear to god I will make Thetis pull up to a fire hydrant, conjure a fire hose, and blast you both right out of here!
[Zoi giggles and Kunzite and Zoi break it off and sit up again and Zoi rests his head on Kunzite's shoulder]
[They pull up in front of the Hen Tie High gym, which is the only structure in Hen Tie large enough to hold a prom.]
[Kunzite helps Zoi out then walks with his arm around his waist.]
[They step inside and approach the ticket table. Zoi giggles at the sight of all the colored light effects, balloon arches, and twisted garlands of crepe paper.]
Zoi: This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen.
Kunzite: It's lucky for us that we're the monsters.
[Kunzite buys their tickets]
Minako: Zoi! My main manbitch! Is that you?
[Minako staggers up looking like a million bucks in a yellow sequined dress, with Rei following close behind her in red chiffon, and gives Zoi a long rocking hug and a kiss on the cheek.]
Zoi: You look beautiful.
Minako: You too! [holds Zoi at arm's length and looks him over and smiles with admiration] My god, you're so flawless, it's not fair. I didn't think it was possible to hate someone half as much as I hate you right now.
[Breaks it off, teetering, and eyes Kunzite.]
Minako: [sighs profoundly and rolls her eyes] Hi, Kunzite. I suppose I should hug you, too.
[Kunzite backs away as she lunges for him like an amazon, wrapping her arms around him and trying to grab his ass.]
Kunzite: [gripping her wrists and pulling them back to her sides] Hello, Minako. Nice to see you too.
Minako: Oh my god, he knows my name. Rei, he said my name. [Starts crying]
Kunzite: [To Rei] I think your friend's had a little too much to drink.
Rei: [Leads her away] Come on, bitch. Quit throwing yourself at your friends' boyfriends. That's just trashy.
[The O'Sama family skirt the dance floor and find an empty table already set with cupcakes and glasses of icewater. Kunzite pulls out a chair for Zoi then takes a seat next to him. The other O'Samas take their seats as well.]
[A boy from their biology class walks up to Zoi]
Student: Hey, Zoi. Would you like to dance?
[Kunzite stands, drawing himself to his full height, and gives him a hostile look]
Student: Nevermind. [Hurries away]
[Neffy chuckles, then lets out a yell as Naru appears over his shoulder like the Angel of Death.]
Naru: Hi, Neffy.
Neffy: What do you want?
Naru: I was wondered if you'd like to dance.
Neffy: Yes, but not with you.
Naru: Huh? [Hurt] Why not?
Neffy: Because I have a reputation to maintain and it doesn't involve waltzing with shorties in training bras.
Naru: But…you promised you'd take me for a chocolate parfait…
Neffy: Yeah, so be sure to give me a call when you're in college.
Naru: [near tears] But…
Neffy: [takes hold of her and steers her off to one side] Move kid. There's a sexy chaperon over there I'd like to get to know better.
[Get up and leaves Naru standing there looking absolutely crushed]
Umino: [Walks up to Naru] Would you like to dance?
Naru: [takes his hand] I thought you'd never ask.
[Zoi smiles as he watches them go off together to dance, then looks at Kunzite]
Zoi: I suppose you'll expect me to dance with you?
[Kunite nods. Zoi swallows then avoids his gaze]
Kunzite: When someone wants to kill you, you're as brave as a lion – then when someone mentions dancing… [shakes his head]
Zoi: I honestly can't dance. Remember?
Kunzite: Don't worry, I can.
[Kunzite gives him a pointed stare]
[Zoi nibbles on the cupcake and sips his icewater]
[Kunzite continues to stare]
Kunzite: I've got all night.
[Eventually, an especially touching love ballad plays and Kunzite rises and offers Zoi his hand. Zoi rises and they join the dancers, whirling around. Zoi is surprised to realize he's actually enjoying himself. His coordination has improved a lot now that he's a Shitennou, to the point where he's actually graceful. ]
Zoi: Ok, this isn't half bad.
[They dance for a while, Zoi resting his head against Kunzite's chest and swaying on the slower songs. When Kunzite holds him close, he's grateful to Beryl his dress is backless, one of the advantages of not needing a bra. They dance every song together until Usagi comes over in her white and gold gown and taps Zoi in the shoulder]
Usagi: [smiling angelically] Mind if I cut in?
Zoi: [winking at her] With which one of us?
[Kunzite stares past Usagi and his posture becomes stiff and his face is angry. Zoi follows his gaze and sees Mamoru lurking with his hands in his pockets and slowly crossing the floor toward them, looking a bit uncomfortable and apologetic.]
Kunzite: [snarling] Oh. Of course.
[The closer Mamoru gets, the more Kunzite looks like he wants to kill him]
Zoi: [hissing under his breath into Kunzite's ear] Behave!
[For a moment Kunzite just clutches Zoi tighter. Then he sighs, reluctantly breaking away from Zoi and taking Usagi's hands.]
Kunzite: [In passing to Zoi] That little prick will never know how lucky he is to have punched Demande Blackmoon in the face.