Grind 3.8
Vista
Friday is a good day for patrols. There is always crime in the bay but Friday is one of the better nights to find some action. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Sunday, you got all the typical crime, the stuff that goes on constantly, like prostitution, drug dealing, and hate crimes. Thursday is when the college students go out and kill their brain cells more than usual. Friday, and Saturday are the nights that the gangs have the most street presence. It's not a huge increase compared to the normal levels of gang members wandering the city, but it is an increase.
That's why today was not a Friday. No instead the director decided that as Player's first patrol Friday or Saturday would be a bit much. So instead I was out with Player on a Thursday as we wondered around the boardwalk, keeping an eye out for drunks stupid enough to go looking for fights.
As the most senior of the Wards I knew full well that the best patrol is a quiet patrol. That said this is Player's first night out defending the city. Subduing drunken morons is hardly an exciting introduction into the Wards program. But that was neither here nor there, my orders are clear, keep to the calm part of town, and answer any questions Player might have. That and give advice on what to do, and more importantly what not to do.
So here I am on a Thursday night with my favorite and only protégé, walking across rooftops.
One thing you can say about Player is that she has made things a lot more interesting. Since she joined the team had gained three baby dragons as our mascots, and Panacea had not quite defected from New Wave. It was nice to finally have a reasonable number of girls around to offset the boy to girl ratio. Though admittedly Amy was not as willing to talk and hang out as Taylor, but the later said it was because Amy had a lot on her mind.
I could see what she meant. Since she moved in Monday Amy had been busy setting up a partnership with a plastic surgeon. She was set to do her first paid cosmetic procedure on Monday which she seemed fairly nervous about as well. More than anything though she spent a lot of time just staring off into space doing what I assumed was thinking about the whole situation with her sister and family.
At least I assumed so because that's what I would be thinking about, and because of the way Dean would flinch whenever he looked at her. Some of that might be the fact that he knew she had been jealous, and assumed she liked him as opposed to Vicky, really not sure how Dean managed to miss that. I would think the difference between resenting someone and liking someone should be pretty clear, but then it's his power and it's not like I could explain space warping any better than he can explain emotion sensing so I'm not about to judge.
Warping space Player and I stepped over onto the next rooftop. Glancing down into the next street more out of habit than any real expectation of finding a crime of some sort, I was met by the most beautiful sight imaginable.
Standing below us arms crossed and faces turned upward was the cities most amusing duo. Uber and Leet, stood on what could only be described as an extremely pixilated space ship, and wore costumes even more ridiculous than normal over some basic body armor and simple masks.
Leet was wearing a huge pair of sharply angled red sunglasses, draped over his back was a dramatically flowing red cape and over one shoulder rested the longest katana I had ever seen.
Uber on the other hand wore an unbuttoned, long sleeve, high collar, blue coat, with red stripes running up the arms. He also wore a pair of yellow goggles on his forehead, and a necklace of what appeared to be a drill around his neck.
Both had white tape wrapped around their stomachs.
The contrast between costume and their new ride was baffling, but I could not care less. These two are perfect for a first cape fight, and even better for a first ever patrol. It was not a good idea for Taylor to think cape fights happened all the time, but neither was her thinking nothing ever happens on patrol. These two are a happy middle ground.
I was really going to enjoy this.
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Taylor
My very first patrol and I run into a pair of super villains. Uber and Leet, but still super villains. I had really hoped for a nice quite patrol. It was a chance to go for a night jog with a friend maybe chat a bit, talk about whatever. For a little while that is exactly what we had done, but now it looked like we had just walked into a potential fight.
Vista seemed to be bouncing on her feet next to me. "Why Uber and Leet, how are you?" Vista sing songed down to the duo. "Would you like to surrender now, or should we give your viewers one last show to watch before we lock you up?"
Leet arched backwards taking a deep breath before yelling as loudly as possibly. "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?!" Wait, what?
"When gamers and internet trolls talk about the mighty gaming duo of Brockton Bay, their talking about us, the unstoppable team of Uber and Leet! Viewers come from all corners of the internet to witness our spectacular feats, and learn about the wonders of gaming! But you saw fit to challenge our dominion over all things game related! You, Player, by choosing a name which should rightfully belong alongside our own have laid down an insult that cannot be ignored!"
I… what? No, really what the hell is going on?! As I turn to ask Vista what was going on and more importantly what we should do, I'm surprised to find her bent over at the waste, and failing to fight off a fit of giggles.
"Well we saw your challenge player, and real men never run from a challenge! If you truly think you deserve your chosen moniker you are going to have to prove it! We have brought with us an army of enemies from the classics! Player one, and Player two your objective is to survive the horde!
And with that proclamation things only got stranger.
Some kind of attack started to rain down on us from above being launched by some sort of odd…things, similar attacks where launched from in front of us by what looked like a fleet of bug, ship, things. And out of a back alley crawled a pair of massive segmented centipedes which stood about four feet hi.
Vista immediately snapped out of her fit of laughter and grabbed onto my wrist hauling me away and over a few buildings with just a few steps. "Control this is Vista, we've been engaged by Uber and Leet who have an army of arcade rejects after us. We are executing a fighting retreat towards the bay, will try to keep damage to a minimum, out."
Just like that my first cape fight started.
"OK what have you got right now? Powers, weapons, tricks, lay it on me." Vista asked, she sounded calm, it almost sounded like she was trying to quiz me.
"I've got Mario, dad insisted because it's my only brute power, I've got water bending in case someone got hurt, and Piggot told me not to use metal or earth bending unless we ran across a heavy hitter, so I've got two random Pokemon projections."
Vista nodded to herself as she jumped across another roof, we made good time but the army behind us was slowly gaining.
"OK, here's the plan, step one is eat a mushroom, I assume you have some with you right?"
Nodding I took out the little baggy of stir fry mushrooms pulling my cowl away from my face slightly, and dropped a few slices into my mouth. It was a trick I had practiced so I would not end up with sauce on the inside of my cowl.
After I gained about two feet Vista nodded and continued. "Step two is use those projection powers to stall for time.
Spinning around I noticed that all of the shots from the approaching horde seem to be curving up into the air, Vista's power. Really had to hand it to the girl keeping something like that up and a set distance away while running had to be at least a little tricky. Not wasting the opportunity I curled both hands around imaginary pokeballs which quickly took shape. Praying for something useful I chucked the two orbs. In a blinding flash of light they resolved into Dennis's Charizard, and my Arcanine. Slowly I let a big smile split my face.
"Hey Vista, how do you feel about riding on the fluffiest fire breathing dog ever instead of running."
"Is that even a question?!"
"Charizard take out the ones in the sky with your flamethrower, and try not to get hit!" I shouted as Vista and I clambered on top of my Arcanine. Charizard roared a battle cry before taking off to incinerate our airborne enemies. "Arcanine, head for the beach!"
Glancing back I saw fire all but leap from drone to drone before the things would crash to earth, some taking out the drones below them on the way down. Charizard was flying in lazy loops and bombing runs as it spat out a constant stream of fire. I winced as one of the flaming wrecks hit a parked car, but I reasoned there was only so much I could do about limiting damage, and that I currently had more important things to worry about. Not that this fight was much a fight Vista and my projections made this really rather dull. It was a little disappointing honestly.
A little under a minute latter Vista and I stood behind and to the left of my Arcanine on the beach. The trip had been much smoother than expected. We waited a full minute before the two four foot high centapedes made it to the beach a little ways off I could see Uber and Leets personal ship engaged in a dog fight with Charizard. Despite my projections theoretical edge in agility, it seemed to fly in set patterns and made only clunky disinterested turns, Uber and Leet seemed to be enjoying themesleves as they bobbed and weaved between flamethrower attacks until lining up an opening. They fired, bright beams of light ripped through my projection, and it vanished without a sound.
Grimicing I returned my attention to the bots already on the beach. Vista had stretched space, and because the centipedes insisted on only traveling one body segment length forward before moving to the side they gave me time to line them up. As the two bots heads were about to line up I gave my order.
"Arcanine, use flamethrower."
The heads burst into flame quickly, and that soon set off a chain reaction. In seconds both were completely engulfed in flame from head to tail. Seconds later they stopped moving all together.
Vista patted me on the back. "Nicely done Player, now that just leaves the 'final bosses' and we can head back to base and celebrate your first win!"
She's right, this had really gone well. We had never been even close to taking a hit, and we had beaten all of the robot things. Smiling I nodded. "Yeah, sounds like a plan."
The spaceship hanging in the air over head seemed to hover for a few minutes, rocking a little before it slowly descended to the beach. As it came level with the sand it was evident that the two villains had undergone a costume change.
Leet now wore a red-ish long haired wig and was dressed in long black boots, a short skirt and a skimpy tee-shirt with a large red R on the front.
Uber wore a dark purple wig and what seemed like a more masculine version of Leets costume. On the hood of the spaceship they had taped a…. is that a Meowth plushy? "I think Dennis mentioned this was part of the pokemon cartoon, but I can't quite…"
Uber decided to interrupt me at that point. "So we packed these backup costumes in case you turned out to be tougher than expected, didn't realize they would be so fitting you know?"
"I, umm, what? Who are you supposed to be?"
Leet's jaw dropped. "Really? You have pokemon projections as your super power in and you don't know who Team Rocket is?"
"I, look shut up, my power is weird."
Uber started to laugh before chiming in. "Yeah, no kidding. First you have baby dragons for your press release, then you go out and heal people with Panacea, and now you grow a couple feet and fight with Pokemon projections. What even is your power?"
"Right, like we would tell you two what her power is. If we did that every villain in the city would know by morning! No, no way only an idiot gives away their secrets." Vista said coming to my defense.
"Look whatever." Leet said. "Bottom line is we essentially had to come out here and challenge you, considering your name. Well you beat our challenge and what's more you did it with video game characters! Hell we even got some great shots of us beating your Charizard! So thanks for playing Player, but for now at least this is Uber and Leet."
"Blasting off again!" Shouted Uber.
Whirling almost on a dime the space ship turned around and shot off into the night.
"I, what just happened?"
Vista was once again doubled over laughing. "I, I have no idea, but I can't wait to see the cleaned up version they're going to post with commentary in a couple of hours. Still chuckling Vista called in our after action report and we headed off to start filling out paperwork.
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Youtube Comments
namecareno:
dis has been how to costume by da Uber and da L33t
Finagle007:
Bwahahaha go forth oh mighty kamina! and return with a sex change!
Karmafalcon:
You see! You see! I told you all Uber wore the pants in that relationship!
Mizu:
Nope no way the fact that Leet is Kamina cancels out him being Jessie for nothing is more manly than the mighty KAMINA!
Bearsine:
Can, can I has fluffy fire breathing puppy?
TheRedDot:
Nooooooooooo, is mine! I calls dibs!
GuyReactionOver:
They cannot be serious can they?! I mean there is just no way that could fly it's just not going to happen no way no how not possible!
Nutwing2922:
Of course it's possible… maybe… or not… who knows
HansonArtuher:
Wait which part? Them attacking a word their rampant speculation or the ending?
GuyReactionOver:
Ummm all of it…
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loveofgift:
guys stop focusing on the parts of the video that don't matter! She has a mother! #$ing CHARIZARD! Player needs to have it fight Lung! I must know who would win!
MatBailey:
Dude, fuck no, I live in that town. Nothing should ever fight Lung, because no one here wants to clean up rubble or splattered Wards first thing in the morning.
Pochacco:
So I saw galaga, centipede, and space invaders, this time. what I don't get is the costume choices.
timingbad:
Did you pay attention to the end of the video? They said they couldn't come up with an overall theme and decided to just have fun with it.
Pochacco:
ooooh danka, was eating must have missed that.
Yuffiek:
What I don't get is how they managed to pick a fight with the Wards and, well they didn't win, or even really tie but they didn't get their asses completely kicked for once how did they manage that?!
R-away-F:
Lol they had a good night it happens…. sometimes….
Selias:
Like the time they managed to pie armsmaster?
Vindictus:
that was the best episode they ever had! What game was it supposed to be?
Cubshadow:
does it matter?
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