4.3 Think Tank
The ready room is packed to bursting. I know exactly who to blame for this. Uber and Leet, or rather Jeff and Eugene. Those two assholes are the source of my current misery. I fully intend to make them pay for it. I'm not sure how, and I'm not sure when, but I will get even.
"OK everyone, let's get this thing started." Eugene called out, causing conversation throughout the room to die down.
"Right, well we all know why we are here. Taylor's power has been almost criminally under used so far." Jeff said. "While Eugene and I appreciate Dennis introducing her to Pokémon, we all know we can come up with more useful powers. Now I know the Wards have a list, and Dragon has a list, Eugene and I have a list, but there is no reason to limit this. There is no telling who might have a really good, or obscure series in mind others are less than familiar with. So let's get started!"
The bastards had gathered everyone they could into the Wards ready room, and those that could not attend in person were displayed on the big screen. The screen only had one occupant, Mouse Protector. How those two know her, and more importantly why she was sitting in on this conversation was a mystery to me, but apparently Dragon had politely declined before sending in another copy of her list leaving Mouse Protector as the only out of town cape with an interest. That still left the room packed with all the Wards, Amy, and half the Protectorate.
I told these two that the last thing I wanted was to be the center of attention with an entire group bombarding me with all their ideas about how my powers should be used. Unfortunately they had to go and use logic to overrule me. Pointing out that my only use of my power on a series of my choice lead to the dragonets, who while adorable are not a combat or support power. Now after losing the opportunity to gain new powers last weekend these two want to crowd source for the best ideas, on how I should use my time the upcoming weekend.
The noise of almost a dozen people talking at once immediately spiked my already growing headache.
"Oi! Settle down!" Mouse protector shouted over the loudspeakers drowning out the rest of the group by sheer volume, forcing many to slap hands over their ears. Jeff quickly adjusted the volume with a sheepish grin.
"Now then," Mouse Protector said at a more reasonable volume. "What kind of powers have you already got, that part wasn't covered in the little mini briefing I got from the newly reformed gamer duo." She said shooting a wide grin towards the pair, who chuckled amicably.
Groaning lightly from where I was sitting scrunched into the corner of a couch I responded.
"I've got what basically amounts to plot armor against super powers from the first book in the Xanth series. I have my three fire lizards which are empathically linked to me from the Pern series. I can grow, and have a minor brute rating from Mario, as well as throw small bouncing fireballs. From Avatar: The Last Airbender I got fair levels of control over fire, earth, and metal. Also control over water which comes with healing as well as an ability to remove the influence of master, and possibly stranger powers along with, we assume, hypnotism, and the affects of mind altering chemicals. Lastly I've got two sets of Pokémon I can create a randomized projection of."
For a few blissful moments the whole room fell silent as everyone's focus shifted from me to whatever fictional universes they were most familiar with.
"Right then!" Mouse Protector chirped. "I have a city to protect, villains to embarrass and cheesy one liners to write! So, I'll just make my recommendations, and leave you all to it! Taylor, I cannot stress enough how much fun it is to embarrass the crap out of villains by beating them while acting like a goof ball. Not to mention how bad it is for the villain's reputation! Therefore, I'd recommend any and all examples of cartoon physics. Just imagine how much fun it would be to drop an anvil on Kaiser's head, not to mention the benefits of surviving point blank explosions!"
The woman cackled giving a fair impersonation of a mad scientist.
"Oh yeah, Uber, Leet, I expect to see the two of you down here for a visit once your probation is up. You two are some of the only capes I've met who actually know how to have fun in the field. The city has been almost boring since your last visit."
Grinning like a loon Jeff gave an affirmative before switching off the monitor.
"Wait, you two know her?" Missy asked.
"Sure do!" Eugene answered, "Whenever our ratings would take a dip we would take a trip down to Boston to spice things up. First time Mouse Protector showed up and realized she was on camera she started to ham it up twice as hard as normal. Our fans absolutely loved her."
Jeff leaned back with a wistful smile. "One of our top rated episodes was when Eugene and I tried to rob a whiskey manufacturer on the edge of Boston. She showed up to stop us, and we all somehow got into a drinking contest, she won, but passed out before she could arrest us. We are actually considering getting her to help us out with our final video."
The reminder of their final video was a source of mixed feelings. As part of their cover story the duo needed to do one final video in which they were heroically captured so as to make their sudden disappearance from the cape scene appear less conspicuous. Their arrest coupled with several months of not working in the field would hopefully mask the fact that they had switched sides. My only real issue with this was that they wanted me to play the starring role in their defeat. The idea of part of my reputation boiling down to how I appeared in an Uber and Leet video made me particularly nervous.
Eugene started to laugh. "The company got so much publicity from that episode that they dropped any charges, and even paid us to do an advertisement for them!"
I wanted to call bullshit. I desperately needed to believe they were lying because the story was beyond idiotic, but given recent experience with the duo it was probably the truth. Judging by the looks most of the room agreed with me, however Dennis and Ethan just seemed impressed, figures.
My self-pitying groan was cut off as Carlos started to mumble as he scribbled away on a pad of paper. Leaning over I realized that he was taking down who suggested what and why. Giving up completely I settled down to wait for the whole thing to wrap up.
It was going to be awhile.
The first to recover from the latest insight into the lives of Uber and Leet was Ethan. Striding up in front of the large screen and tapping away at a tablet. "Ladies and Gentlemen, in my mind there is only one clear answer as to what Taylor's next power should be." Tapping at his tablet the screen behind him turned on to display a power point presentation.
Frankly I was stunned from what I'd heard, and seen, Ethan never took anything seriously. Yet here he was giving a power point presentation when all he really needed to do was give the name of the media in question, and a brief synopsis. Interested I leaned forward reading the title of his first slide.
In big bold letters centered above the picture of a large man with a massive but well kept beard it read…
"Chuck Norris! Beard of Steal!" Ethan shouted, while wearing a manic grin.
Resisting the urge to bang my head on the coffee table I settled for leaning back into the coach and covering me head with my hands.
"Ethan, you realize that's not what Chuck Norris looks like right?" Chris asked. "Also, the guy is good at martial arts but there are at least a few people who are better."
Ethan whipped around to face the screen before whipping back around to stare confusedly at Chris. "The hell are you talking about Kid? That's Paul Turner, he was the first ever independent cape. But for his privacy the director of the movie agreed to use a different name for the main character, his real name was only released after he died a few years back. He had the power to manipulate his hair. The man literally had a beard stronger than steal that he could manipulate, and extend to beat people up!"
Nope. No way in hell. I was not going to spend two hours as a lumber jack to get the power of super hair. Wait… was it just his beard, or could he control all his hair? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to ask, just out of idle curiosity, and since Ethan seemed so eager I'm sure he would want to take the staring role…
Before I could properly ask Chris jumped back into the conversation. "Wait, so you've never heard of Chuck Norris, the actor from earth Alph? The guy has had major roles in a bunch of movies as a bad ass martial artist."
And just like that the pair promptly ignored the rest of us and fell into a debate over which Chuck Norris was superior and which would have the most beneficial power for me. Realizing that there was nothing more I could do in this situation I tuned them out to think of all the different hair styles I'd be able to try if I could control the length, and style of my hair at will. My attention was eventually dragged back in as Ethan exclaimed that with his suggestion I would be able to capture villains with my nose hair caused me to shudder at the disgusting mental image.
Obviously deciding that enough was enough Samantha, A.K.A. Battery leaned over and whispered something to Missy who giggled before bobbing her head.
Moments later Missy's hands wrapped around Chris's mouth silencing him while Sam appeared in front of Ethan. Grabbing his head in her hands she planted a deep and thorough kiss on his lips before leaning in to whisper something in his ear. Ethan now grinning like a loon quickly bobbed his head as Sam pushed him towards an empty spot on the coach.
As Sam turned to face the rest of us she noticed the range of looks she was getting. Coughing nervously into her hand she sheepishly said. "That's the best way to get him to stop talking."
Shaking her head Sam focused on me. Mercifully it seemed she had not tried to make a power point presentation like her husband. Which now that I thought about it I was glad he had not gotten around to presenting.
Power point is one of the ultimate embodiments of evil.
"While I don't have a specific example in mind I think time travel could prove to be the most useful power. In this line of work we don't often get second chances, and sometimes that costs us lives. The ability to go back and redo things could prove invaluable."
That got my attention along with the rest of the room. A way to redo the worst days, and save lives that would otherwise be lost, the chance to be on scene for crimes before they even happen. The possibilities of that kind of power would be amazing. However something was nagging at the back of my mind, a flaw in the logic something that just sounded off about the idea.
The flaw was swiftly filled in for me.
"You do realize it's not that simple." Eugene offered. "There are several theories about how time travel would work in practice, but we don't actually have a concrete answer. You could wind up in a parallel universe, and become the second version of yourself leaving behind your home, and everyone you know to maybe unable to return."
Chris jumped into the counter argument next. "Then you have to consider the butterfly effect. If Taylor could go back in time let's use Taylor going back, and warning Hero about the Siberian as an example. Say she goes back and saves Hero, for all we know this causes a chain reaction where Hero becomes a puppet for Ziz leading to thousands of deaths."
Surprisingly Colin also felt the need to weigh in on the subject. "I don't think we should rule it out. Time related powers might finally provide a solution for Gray Boy's victims. On the other hand there are some days where no amount of redoes will ever be enough. If Taylor had such a power the temptation to use it to try and achieve the best results in an Endbringer fight would be great, the problem with that temptation is no amount of repeats would ever be enough to completely avoid fatalities. The temptation to go back and try one more time would either lead to a never ending chain of attempts, Taylor losing her life, or crippling levels of survivor's guilt." Shaking his head he continued. "That sort of power is going to require careful consideration before we do anything."
Nodding along because everything they said made sense I stopped to think further on something Colin had said. "Has anyone tried seeing what happens when you mix Dennis's power with Grey Boys?"
Dennis looking unusually depressed nodded. "We tried that once. Woman froze in place for around three minutes before the effect wore off, and she went right back to looping."
With nothing more to say on the topic I just nodded my head knowing it was a sore spot that I couldn't relate to, though that might change eventually. I sincerely hoped that if the PRT did send me out to try and reverse the effects of Grey Boy's power I would succeed. Failing seemed, unacceptable.
"What we really need is mobile artillery, preferably armored mobile artillery." Carlos stated. "One of the biggest advantages that the Empire has on us is their mobile heavy hitters. Rune, and Purity can go above the battlefield and reign down hell on us. New Wave can counter those tactics but aside from Chris with his hover board and I we are lacking in flyers. I don't carry any weapons, and since Chris can't carry any heavy fire power there is only so much we can do against Purity. On the other hand if we can outfit Taylor with a high enough brute rating, some kind of mid to high blaster power, and flight we might finally be able hold out against the Empire if things come down to a straight fight."
Getting my hands on a real defensive ability sounded like a solid plan no matter what. Flight was a power I'd been drooling over since I first understood what all my power was capable of. Being talked about like some kind of armored fighter jet on the other hand was a bit disconcerting. The Idea of being the decisive factor in a theoretical battle between the Protectorate and the E88 was scary as all hell. I'm not sure where Carlos got that level of confidence in me, but I was not convinced that I was ready for that kind of fight. Voicing my concerns caused Carlos to give me a sheepish look.
"I'm not suggesting that we do this and go declare war on the Empire or anything Taylor, just that if a situation comes up where we have to it'd be nice to level the playing field."
"Alright, just so long as we're clear I'm not really ready for that kind of fight."
"Yet," Carlos responded confidently. "You're not ready yet. Don't worry, we'll get you the best powers we can, and then with some practice you'll be able to give even the big names a run for their money."
There was that confidence again. I know my power was strong, ridiculously so, broken even. But I had almost no training, and with all the different powers people were suggesting all the possibilities to explore, not to mention my regular duties this was starting to seem impossible.
"I don't really see how this is all going to work." I started slowly. "There are so many potential sources I can tap for new powers, and each new source has at least one, but usually more potentially useful abilities. Every potential ability I get represents a person we have tied up not doing their job, and for every new ability I gain I have to train to see how it works on its own as well as in conjunction with my other powers. All of that takes time, and that's on top of my regular duties here, and school. If, or rather when I pick up a tinker ability that will also be a drain on my time. I'm just not sure how I can go about doing everything."
Colin nodded his head. "That's essentially a more complicated version of every tinker's dilemma; the only real solution is to prioritize."
"Not necessarily." Amy said, causing all heads to turn her way.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"What if you could be in more than one place at once?" She asked with a cunning little smile that I'd never seen on her before.
"How?"
"Clones, duplicates, doubles, and mental projections, there have to be dozens of abilities out there that can help with this. I've even got something particular in mind if you're interested."
"OK I like this idea so far, more time, more powers, more training, more fun. Shoot."
"Naruto."
My blank stare seemed to disappoint Amy slightly, but the rush of interest from Dennis, Chris, Jeff, and Eugene seemed to buoy her spirits.
"Right! Shadow clones!" Dennis shouted excitedly. "You could be in hundreds of places at once if it works like it does for Naruto."
"Oh man, the Tinkering I could do with hundreds of me! I could take turns getting distracted, and actually finish my projects!" Chris said sounded jealous.
"Dibs on Kakashi! Jeff and Eugene shouted in tandem, before starting to bicker and haggle as the rest of the room promptly tuned them out.
"OK, so what's this show about, and why pick this one?" I asked.
"The show is about ninja's. The main characters are a group of newly minted ninjas who are twelve, or thirteen. It starts off about a fifty fifty mix of dark and sentimental with odd moments of humor. The farther along you get the stupider things get." Amy explained.
"Hey, now wait just a second that's not…. OK, so maybe you have a point." Dennis said.
"No kidding." Amy said rolling her eyes. "The main character is a trained assassin slash warrior, and despite all the ridiculous fights that happen, and all the people who get killed he has yet to kill anyone. Not one person. There are, what's the count at, four immortals all of whom have stupid reasons for being and or wanting immortality? He spent three years training with one of the best ninjas around, and all he learns is how to fight smart. Then once things start to go bad he miraculously starts learning incredibly fast so the author can show us his development step by step. He goes through all his fights with the same two or three jutsu just used in different ways, and the longer the series goes the more it boils down to spam attack the enemy. Plus if you go through the series with a critical eye there are so many things that make little to no sense that it's just laughable. I mean take the end of the chunin exam invasion. I can understand letting sand off the hook, but they don't even retaliate against sound despite an invasion being a clear declaration… of…. war…."
Amy's ill tempered rant started to trail off as she realized that everyone in the room was staring at her.
"I umm, I read a lot of fanfics, it's kind of hard to ignore all the stupid things that happen in the original when someone goes and writes a story where they point out the inconsistencies one way or another." She mumbled.
"OK!" I exclaimed trying to redirect attention away from my new friend. "So Naruto, is some kind of teenage ninja who makes clones, ends up in a bunch of fights, doesn't kill anyone, and the story has lots of inconsistencies after you get far enough into it. That about sum it up?"
"Yeah, that about covers it." Jeff said, shaking off his stupor.
"So the plan is go through a good chunk of the series, and walk out with clone powers so I can be in lots of places doing lots of things at once. Sounds good. Amy, since you seem to know the most about this could you pick out a reasonable, and not stupid portion of the story that I could use? Your welcome to come along too if you want."
Amy bit at her lip. "There are a few fanfics that are a lot higher quality than the original, but the best ones are usually darker… I'm willing to bet you'd rather stay away from anything where you have to kill people… so yeah probably best to just stick with canon… maybe early on or during that training montage after he comes back from the training trip…"
"Yeah, I'd rather not do any killing or bleeding, or be stuck in a male body."
Jeff shot me a sharp look as the words left my mouth. "You're kidding, right?"
"No. Why? What's wrong with not wanting to kill, or be stuck as the opposite sex?"
"Nothing normally, but in your case you might as well be hamstringing yourself." Eugene responded.
"They are correct." Stated Colin, in his usual monotone. "Most forms of fiction that involve powers of any kind also involve conflict. Many stories involving conflict also prominently feature death in one way or another. Furthermore as a general trend in such series the protagonists, and antagonists are more often male than female. This is because such series tend to be geared toward a male audience, and having the reader and protagonist the same gender makes it easier to relate."
"What the boss is trying to say," Dennis chipped in. "Is that in general most powers worth getting come from stories and characters that are all three things you just said you want to avoid."
Squirming in my seat I tried to form a rebuttal.
"I could just pick and choose, take people with me, things like that."
"You could." Colin said, "But then you would be forcing someone else to do the things you are trying to avoid, or limiting yourself. While it might not be a problem now, you need to think long term too. If you are unwilling to go after potentially useful powers it could cost lives at some point down the road. Given time combining your powers in new ways may provide us with new strategies or weapons against the Endbringers, and other dangerous threats. Not to mention they might save your life in an encounter with a villain."
"But that's just…"
I trailed off. What was there to say? Colin was right. Limiting myself to only works that met those criteria would cut me off from a lot of potential abilities. I might hate it, or feel uncomfortable, but if I could save someone down the line, wouldn't it be worth it in the end? But to kill, even if it wasn't real, God I was going to need to work my way up to that. There was no way I could handle it with the realism that came with books. No, I'd have to start with cartoons or video games before I could kill people in books without feeling like a monster. I would just have to develop a new mindset where my power was involved. I could do that, just so long as no one rushed me.
"Alright." I took a deep breath. "Alright, when do we do this, and who's coming with me?"