4.4 Ninja's!
Friday came around far too quickly for my liking. Yet here it was, and here I sat in the ready room with Jeff and Eugene standing off to one side, while the Wards piled around me on the couches. Slouched on my shoulder was a napping Beauty while Rocky and diver curled up on Missy's lap.
Standing nervously in front of everyone was Amy. Amy clearly knew more about Naruto than most of us, so we all agreed to let her figure out which part of the story would be best to use. Now a little over two days later we were going to find out what she had chosen.
"We're going right from the beginning up through the end of the wave arc." Amy declared to the room.
"Are you sure?" Dennis asked. "Why not do the training montage where Naruto uses the clones to learn things faster, or why not at least go through the chunin exams? Plenty of good stuff there."
"I'm sure. The reason I want to avoid that particular training montage is twofold. The first reason to avoid it is that wind manipulation really wouldn't be all that useful, at least not how Naruto shows it at that point in the story. The second reason is I don't want anything to do with the immortals. I don't even want to watch them, let alone be them. Anyone who knows who they are want to argue with that logic?"
Several faces around the room got contemplative before various noises of agreement drifted forth.
"Now there isn't anything wrong with the chunin exam, however to take advantage of that we are going to have to consider taking more people, and then what powers would we hope to focus on? How many people were cleared to go on Taylor's latest adventure? Depending on the number we might be able to extend the trip to include the exams."
"You and Taylor are cleared for it, Amy." Carlos answered. "So are Jeff and Eugene. In addition we have orders for one of us to keep an eye on our newest recruits."
Jeff and Eugene shrugged off the last statement with casual disinterest.
"Alright so that's five people which means five roles we can fill." Amy stated. "Just the Wave arc gives us six possible characters Taylor could get powers from; Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Zabuza, and Haku. Oh and the demon brothers almost forgot them, but I don't think Taylor wants the power to hide in puddles."
"Wait, hold up. What could Sakura possibly have that could be considered a power before the time skip?" Dennis demanded.
"Tree climbing."
How is climbing trees supposed to be a super power, and why did it matter when we lived in the middle of a city? I wanted to ask but decided to let it go, after all, Amy had to have a reason for mentioning it.
"Is that even worth getting?" Dennis asked, making me feel like my question may have been more justified than I had thought.
Amy shrugged "Maybe, it's not flight, but it could be useful. We could include the chunin exams, but we really only want the clone technique so I don't see much point in going through them."
"What about all the other options that would open up?" Jeff asked.
"Well there would be more options that way, but there are almost too many options at that point. Let's not forget that every one of those options is essentially a one hit wonder anyway, so in the end does it even matter? The only ones who actually bring more than one thing to the table each are Naruto, Kakashi, Sasuke, Haku, and Zabuza. Also I'd rather try for Naruto before he can summon toads that way there will be one less possible power competing with Taylor's chances of getting shadow clones. Keep in mind the so far Taylor has topped out at three powers from any one character. The more options Naruto develops the lower the odds of getting his clones if there is some kind of cap on how many abilities any one character can give."
"Any proof that there may be a cap, Taylor?" Jeff asked.
"I only got three of nine fire lizards, and there are a few other things that could loosely be called powers that I didn't get from Mario." I offered.
The group seemed to nod thoughtfully.
"Alright sounds good to me." Eugene offered with a big goofy grin. "Manga, or anima, or did you track down a novelization or something?"
"I was thinking manga, if for no other reason than just to see how that particular form of media looks with Taylor's power, unless anyone objects?"
Again I found myself wanting to object, simply because I don't actually know what manga are. But I trust Amy. She was one of my first female friends in years, more importantly she was the first friend I made on my own. Not to say that Missy, Dennis, and the others were not my friends. It is just that they had all made it a point to get to know me, and to make me feel welcome.
Amy was someone that I reached out to, and supported. She was someone that I had made the effort to bring into my life. I was proud of that accomplishment, proud of myself for opening up to trust someone, and even more so for actually being able to help her solve some of the problems in her life. Maybe I was a bad person, a bad friend, for thinking it, but in my mind that made her just a little bit more trustworthy than the others. I hoped that those insecurities would fade with time, but given how Emma had turned on me I knew that it would take some time before I learned to trust everyone equally.
Shaking my head to clear out those bleak thoughts I refocused on the task at hand. "So who's our fifth?"
Dennis and Chris both shot their hands into the air.
"Oi! Dennis, you had your turn already! Let somebody else give it a go." Chris exclaimed.
"But Chris, Ninja's man, how can I turn down such temptation?"
"Oh that's easy, you don't. You just sit there and stew in jealousy over making a stupid suggestion already." Chris teased, grinning madly.
I rolled my eyes and decided to but in before this 'meeting' devolved into a pointless argument.
"Enough. Chris, you can come, and both of you my power is not a toy for you to argue over."
The entire room gave me weird looks.
"What, it's not."
"While I get that it's stupid of them to argue over it you have to admit that your power can be seen as the coolest toy ever. Most powers can be actually, yours more so than most." Eugene interjected.
"Fine, my power is a super cool toy which can make any fan of any fictional universe salivate. I however am a necessity for my power to be used, and I'm not going to be treated as some sort of theme park attendant." I shot back.
"I think Taylor makes a perfectly valid point you guys. This is her power, and you shouldn't be fighting over it." Carlos said.
Giving Carlos a nod in appreciation I turned back to face the grinning group minus the sulking Dennis who I decided to ignore for the time being.
"Amy, I'm assuming you have whatever we need for this right?"
Nodding she handed over the tablet and pointed to a file labeled; 'Naruto Ch 1-33'.
The group gathered round, each placing a hand on one of my shoulder. Taking a deep breath I shot the remaining Wards a grin before clicking on the file. Quickly I felt the familiar tug at my wrists and closed my eyes for a moment. Opening my eyes once again to the sight of the black room, before me a wall of lights, behind me my options, and my friends and teammates all around me.
Jeff and Eugene took a moment to soak in their new surrounding before making a mad dash to the annotated lights, and with almost simultaneous cackles the duo poked a set of lights which promptly faded out, taking them away.
Chris slapped his forehead. "Morons, alright let's see who they nabbed."
Amy glanced over the wall. "Looks like they left us with Team 7, and Haku. Which means at least one of us is going to be gender bending this trip Taylor, both of us if we want to get the most out of this. Chris would you mind taking Haku, I'd like to stick with Taylor for this."
Chris shrugged his shoulders, but stepped up and tapped Haku's light, leaving only Amy and I.
"Alright Taylor, if you want you can take the last girl and I'll take Naruto. I won't hold it against you if you want to take the girl, but she really doesn't have any powers worth mentioning."
Sighing I shook my head. "No that's alright; if I have to get used to this may as well start now. Besides, it wouldn't be right to leave you to suffer by yourself."
"Well alright then! Now do you want to be the emo ass hat, or the hyperactive emotional prankster?"
Both options sounded distinctly unappealing. Brooding and acting like a jerk wasn't even really me, but then neither is running around trying to have touching moments with as many people as possible. Decisions, decisions.
"Alright, I'll take the emo."
"Ok then, you want Sasuke, and before you ask as far as I can tell the U is silent. Oh and I'll be the blond in the orange jumpsuit!"
With that we tapped our respective lights and the story was under way.
{}{}{}{}
Blond in the orange jumpsuit she said. Like that was actually going to help me find her when everything is in freaking black and white! Damn it, Amy! I leaned my head into the desk I found myself at. Oddly enough the fact that I was frustrated and sad seemed to be causing two veritable rivers of tears to stream down my face...
Only twenty minutes in and I'm already finding things to hate here.
Just as I was starting to wonder how the seemingly endless river of tears running down my face was not creating a puddle or even getting my clothes damp an adult carrying a child bound in rope walked into the classroom, promptly dropping the kid in front of the class.
The new arrival pouted adorably as the person I could only assume was an instructor began to lecture him.
"Time for a 'henge no jutsu' test! Everyone line up! Transform perfectly into me!" The instructor shouted.
I, along with the rest of the class, shuffled up to the front of the room forming a line along the desks at the front of the class. One by one the students would be enveloped by a cloud of smoke before taking on the appearance of the instructor. It was an interesting skill, and I found myself trying to think through all of the possible applications of such a skill. Being able to look like a different person would allow me to infiltrate a gang, however I was skeptical of my acting skill being up to such a risky task. Maybe if I got enough practice at filling the rolls of different characters when I used my power I could pull it off. Aside from infiltration I wondered if it was an actual physical change, if that was the case maybe I could even use it day to day. I could subtly change my looks over a few weeks… Maybe something to think on later.
I was jerked out of my thoughts as the boy who had been tied up before stood before the instructor with a wicked smirk that promised nothing but trouble, and shouted at the top of his lungs. "Henge!"
With a surge of visible energy and a massive cloud of smoke the kid vanished, in his place appeared a completely nude bombshell of a young woman with twin pigtails who would have made glory girl feel inadequate. The girl's modesty was protected only by thin wisps of strategically placed smoke. The Instructor instantly rocketed backwards as an impossible amount of blood burst out of his nose.
A blush rose unbidden on my cheeks as I fought the urge to go curl up in a corner while drawing circles on the floor with my finger…
Wait…
What?!
Where the hell did that impulse come from?! What the hell is wrong with this universe?!
"Hehehehehe. Take that! Sexy no jutsu!" The boy giggled. Wait… Why was a twelve year old boy giggling like a teenage girl? God, what the hell is even going on around here!?
"YOU MORON! DON'T INVENT STUPID SKILLS!" The instructor shouted his nostrils now firmly plugged with bloody tissues.
The still giggling kid made his way over to where I stood in line giving me a massive grin. "So Taylor, what did you think of that? God, I wish I could take that figure with me once we're finished you know?"
No way. No freaking way.
"Amy?"
"Of course! Who else?" Amy said, grin widening to impossible dimensions. "Do you want to tag along with me after the scene skip? Not much is going to happen with this first one for you, and it should only last ten or twenty minutes assuming your power doesn't actually make me clean off all the graffiti by hand."
"Graffiti? " I asked, more as a way to stall for time than out of genuine curiosity. Honestly I was completely lost, everything about this story seemed a tad bit insane.
"Yep. Naruto, here tagged what amounts to the village equivalent of Mount Rushmore."
I took a moment to let that sink in. This kid had defaced a national landmark depicting famous leaders and used a transformation ability to turn into a naked woman as some kind of prank or distraction and for some reason Amy seemed to genuinely enjoy being this person.
"I think I'll stay put for now. Maybe tag along for the next one." I deflected as gently as I could.
Shrugging and giving another one of those massive grins Amy vanished from in front of me along with the rest of the class as the lighting shifted. Sitting back down at one of the seats I tried to shift through everything that just happened.
{}{}{}{}
After about ten minutes the class was once again filled with students. Amy sat in front of me and the teacher explained how to pass the exam. Oddly the only requirement was to do one technique... I might not know anything about this series but that seemed… stupid.
Amy was quickly called into a separate room. After another moment the scene once again shifted. I walked outside, now standing in the middle of a crowd of children and adults wearing a band of metal and fabric over my forehead. I watched as Amy took off from the swing set heading in what as far as I could tell was a random direction. Given that I had nothing else to do I decided to try and follow, before I could though the time seemed to shift, and once again I was left alone at the school.
Groaning too myself I found a place to sit, and tried to focus on the script running through my head so I would at least know what was going on.
{}{}{}{}
Finally almost an hour later the classroom filled once again. Amy was sitting next to me.
"Finally! Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be reading about what's going on while it happens? It's even more annoying because you took your time with the whole thing." I huffed out in exasperation.
"Sorry, Sorry. I was just having so much fun!" Amy said with a little giggle. "Do you have any idea how much fun it is to play with the sexy jutsu? It's like taking a shot of liquid confidence! And beating up Mizuki! I always had to be the healer in New Wave, getting the chance to go out and kick ass, was just so… cathartic!"
Amy practically vibrated with her newfound energy. Really the whole thing was pretty adorable all things considered. I started to tune things out as she started talking with some other random kid. Honestly I was glad she was enjoying herself, and considering what I knew of her life with New Wave I could not really begrudge her anything that gave her confidence or made her this happy.
My attention was drawn back into the story as I noticed I had a line coming up. Turning to face Amy I complied with my incredibly crappy dialogue. "What?"
"What do you mean what!?" Amy mock shouted at me, still clearly too giddy to get completely into her role.
Suddenly an extremely loud girl all but vaulted over Amy shouting; "Sasuke-kun can I sit next to you?"
Nearly jumping out of my seat from surprise I shake my head no. Despite this the girl plants herself between Amy and I, smiling creepily. Hopping that if I just ignore the girl the plot will move along and leave her behind I face straight ahead like the little emo I'm supposed to be playing. Before long Amy plants herself in front of me. Her attempt at looking angry is ruined entirely by the knowing smirk that constantly tugs at the edge of her lips. Unsure what to expect I decide to just fallow my role and say my lines.
"Move it!" Amy and I say in tandem.
Then out of nowhere Amy jerks forward… and kisses me on the lips.
My brain shuts down for a few moments as I try to work it out. Amy is kissing me. Amy, is… I don't… What!?
Just as I realize it is part of the scene and doesn't mean anything a new sensation joins the first sensation of the kiss. Amy's lips part slightly, and something smooth slides along the outside of my lips before she pulls back, grins sheepishly, and goes into a show of faked theatric spasms, complete with gagging noises.
My name is Taylor Hebert. The first rose I ever got was given to me so that I could eat it. My first kiss happened under the influence of a hero's 'date rape aura'. Now my second kiss just came from that hero's sister as part of a story we are acting out while both in the bodies of twelve year old boys, and she used his/her tongue.
My romantic life is a burning slag heap of confusion and frustration.