4.6 Team Time
I could only wince as I watched Amy arc through the air after Jeff shoved a few fingers up her ass. Idly in the back of my mind I wondered if kissing me was really worth putting up with this, or if she had just focused so much on that aspect that she ignored the downsides. Either way it was, flattering. I could feel a bit of heat in my cheeks. No one had ever thought of me like that before…
Shaking my head to clear my thoughts I refocused on the fight in front of me and raised an eyebrow as a pair of ninja stars… what had they called them shuri something? Shrugging it off as unimportant I had to wonder how they could possibly be thrown from underwater. The water resistance on the limb and the projectile should have meant the little weapons would only sink to the bottom of the river.
I was also slightly bothered by how easily Jeff was able to catch the projectiles. That kind of time and fine control was insane it would take months of practice for any normal person to catch two ninja stars by putting their fingers through the holes in the middle with our slicing up there other finger. It was a stupid trick. Moving out of the way would be so much simpler!
Obviously these manga liked to ignore common sense to some degree or another. Maybe Amy was right and the, what did she call them, fanficks, are better than the original.
Not that I would ever get the chance to do a comparison of them given that I couldn't really take a few days to live out every one, or even a few of those stories to get a feel for them. Besides which I was… less than excited about finding myself in an… unexpected situation, and being unable to stop reading. I had little to no illusions about some of what might go on in stories written by random people. Sex was a given, torture a distinct possibility, depending on the series, for one reason or another. No I had no intention of being trapped in anyone that might wind up in those sorts of situations. If I had to be characters that killed, well I suppose I'd have to get used to that. But I sure as hell wasn't about to jump at every unpleasant situation that mankind had ever thought to put to paper.
Oh my God…. I have to make sure to clear everything I will ever read or watch ahead of time to be sure there are no rape scenes.
I think I would have fallen out of the tree if not for the fact that my whole body seemed to seize up at just the concept.
Shivering, I did my best to throw off the concept and direct my focus anywhere else just in time to see a half dozen Amy/Naruto's burst from the river like they'd been shot out of a cannon. Another thing I was fairly certain most if not all humans are physically incapable of. This must be the much talked about shadow clone ability.
Suddenly out of nowhere one of the many Amy's latched onto Jeff's back , despite being impressed I couldn't shake a couple of questions; how did that one get there because I sure as hell hadn't seen it, and if he actually got the drop on the older ninja why not grab the bells which are the entire point of the test and could have been easily snagged? Wait… hold on! Jeff had been facing the direction that clone came from not even a second ago! How the heck did that clone get behind him? Do manga just disregard things when they are not in their favor?
Once more I was dragged out of my thoughts as Amy hit one of her clones which quickly devolved into a brawl between the Amy's. Suddenly I was very glad Clockblocker wasn't here to make a catfight joke, or a twin joke, both maybe…
From the way the clones had been described to me they vanished after one hit…. So why was it that none of the clones popped…. I really need to talk with these guys later this story wasn't even being consistent with its own rules! This is just sloppy story telling.
As I watched I saw Amy trigger a rope snare and wind up hanging from a tree. Shaking my head and following the script I half-hazardly launched a small barrage of throwing knives and ninja stars. Somehow, because I know it had nothing to do with my abilities, the blades flew true imbedding themselves into Jeff.
I was never so happy that I could see what was coming next than in that moment, because thinking I had somehow managed to kill Jeff, even if he would be fine once all is said and done would have been…. I'm just not going to go there. I only just started to feel good about myself again, I'm not about to throw that away on a "what if" in a manga.
Watching as Jeff's form was replaced by a puff of smoke and a log I took off into the trees.
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I could hear the light sound of footsteps and the quite rustle of fabric brushing against fabric from behind me all but buried under the noise of wind whipping through the trees.
Showtime
"I'm not the same as them." I spoke without even turning around
"Say that after you get a bell." Jeff responded, a little bit of amusement in his voice. "The village's most powerful clan, the Uchiha clan… This could be interesting."
Crouching low I reach into my pouches and grab a trio of throwing stars, how I manage that without nicking myself on the blades I may never know, and launch them at Jeff who leaps aside.
Even with every move being pre-established there is a rush of adrenaline that races through me as the fight begins. That first fight, if it can even be called that, against Uber and Leet is mostly a vague blur in my memory, the overwhelming sensation being shocked that I was actually in a cape fight. This on the other hand, this is a rush.
I take one last glance at the instructions in my head as the throwing stars slice through the rope of my trap, launching a barrage of knives at Jeff. As he leaps away once more I let out the breath I'd been holding taking off like a rocket.
As Jeff's foot sets down on the ground I'm already behind him in mid air and my foot is flying towards his face. Jeff casually blocks the swing with one arm and grabs my ankle with the other. Using his grip as leverage I swing a wild powerful strike at his head with my right fist. Once more Jeff catches the offending limb with ease. Finally in a display of core strength I know my real body could never accomplish my remaining leg follows up in a third attempt to pound Jeff's head into the ground.
Now inverted my only free limb, my left hand shoots out and taps one of the two bells tied to Jeff's waist.
Jeff launches us apart. Deciding I really couldn't care less about dialogue right this second I start to make hand signs in a blur of motion. Taking a deep breath I let a manic grin spread across my face as I let loose a massive ball of fire.
The fireball was impressive, though it would have been more impressive had it come with a nonlethal setting, or if I didn't already have two other powers that allowed me to launch fireballs. Also the hand signs annoyed me, no way could I pull those off without muscle memory I did not want to spend time developing.
I was quite literally dragged out of my thoughts as Jeff's hand popped out of the ground and pulled me down into it.
"Shinobi fighting lesson number three, ninjutsu. Well you're already way further with this than the others. But hey, they say an exposed nail should be hammered in." Jeff said as he walked away chuckling.
"Damn it…"
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"So Amy… What did you call these box lunches again?" I asked, teasing.
"Bento." Amy grumbled.
"Right, right. You know some of this stuff is pretty good, though I'm not all that sure about some of it." I comment idly while waving with the chopsticks I barely knew how to use.
Amy simply grumbles from where she is tied up. Deciding the joke has worn itself out I offer her a piece of what I assume to be sushi.
"Alright Amy, I'm sorry for teasing you. Say ahh." I gave her my best impish grin to take the sting out of the teasing.
Grinning widely in return Amy leans forward as much as the ropes allow, and takes the piece of rice wrapped fish. She smiles widely as she chews.
Just as she swallows Jeff races across the clearing in a storm of dust and leaves.
"YOU GUYS!"
"Pass."
I shrug. "That's nice. Amy, do you want another piece of this?" I ask proffering another sushi roll.
"Yes please."
Jeff falls flat on his face causing Amy and I to laugh.
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Walking through the forest was rather peaceful; the quite gave me a good chance to organize my thoughts a bit. Of course that was broken when the annoying girl started talking, but I quickly tuned out that conversation.
Amy certainly went to great lengths just for a simple kiss. There are probably dozens of shows or movie's she could have scammed me into that would have had better kiss scenes than this manga. She could have easily picked just about anything but instead she chose Naruto. Why? To be subtle? Or was she just jumping at the opportunity.
More importantly should I be worried about how quickly she had decided she wanted to date me? She had only just gotten out from under Glory Girls aura. Maybe she was just rebounding…. Was it a bad thing to be someone's rebound? Did that mean once she had some of the built up tension out of her system she would just move one? Or was she interested in me because I saved her from her sisters aura? Should I be worried that I was somehow taking advantage of her?
Wait…. Was I really considering going out with her? I mean I've always liked boys, but… Amy did have those beautiful light brown eyes with flecks of darker brown around the center. And she liked me, had gone out of her way, and chosen to accept a super powered ass poke along with whatever other injuries await us… all for one, small, awkward kiss.
That was a lot more interest than anyone else had ever shown… Not to mention what an amazing healer she was, she needed someone to force her to step back and slow down before she burned herself out but still it was easy to tell she was a true hero through and through. She really did have a lot of great qualities… maybe… it certainly couldn't hurt to give it a try… but, maybe I should get to know her first? Maybe give her a few weeks to let her emotions settle first then maybe a date?
Oh I don't know!
"Taylor, Konoha to Taylor." Jeff all but yelled.
"I'm sorry, did you say something Jeff?" I asked.
For a moment there was silence. Then Amy burst out into a fit of giggles and actually had to stop walking or risk toppling over as her giggles quickly grew out of control.
Jeff's face, or what I could see of it anyway, seemed to crumble. "I, I just gave the whole background info dump on the world of ninja… and you weren't even paying attention?"
I shook my head in the negative.
Jeff's shoulders slumped for a moment before shaking off his funk as he shook a fist in the air. "Curse you Taylor, and your hip attitude!" He shouted.
Amy who was just starting to recover from her laughing fit now fell fully onto the ground as she laughed with tears of mirth rolling down her eyes.
While I know I'm missing some sort of inside joke, and I'm curious how much of Amy's reaction is caused by how funny or not whatever is going on might be verses all of the strange physical responses that keep cropping up, however most of me is too preoccupied with being happy that I made Amy laugh like this.
Suddenly the air filled with the noise of chains. And in a heartbeat Jeff is diced into pieces. I can feel my mind starting to shut down as the rush of adrenaline pounds through my veins. I don't have the muscle memory for any kind of combat, let alone fighting against two opponents with such outlandish weapons. Luckily I have a script to fall back on. I let the adrenaline and the instructions which in that moment feel all but hardwired into my mind take over.
I leap into the air and launch a ninja star followed shortly after by a throwing knife I pin the attacker's chain to a tree. Rather than land on the ground I plant one foot on each attacker's gauntlet, quickly grabbing a gauntlet with each hand I kick back with my feet to nail both assailants in the face, forcing them to abandon the chain and launch a pincer attack one goes for Amy the other heads towards the bridge builder and annoying girl.
Still allowing myself to be swept along in the script I all but materialize in front of Sakura as she attempts to guard the client.
Then as quickly as it all started it's over. Jeff appears out of nowhere to clothesline the charging assailant; whose partner is already slumped unconscious under Jeff's other arm.
Taking a moment to shake off the rush I glanced down at the injured Amy and sighed.
"Well, looks like it's finally your turn to need a healer, huh Amy?"
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As the boat slipped through the mist I couldn't help but glance around. I'm sure ninja didn't really take up this sort of work but on the other hand this is sort of fun playing make believe and running around trying to protect someone from assassins. Amy's shouts drag my attention off of the misty water and onto the sight of a massive bridge made up of round pillars and a flat surface laid over the top.
"You know… I'm fairly certain that bridge should be falling into the water the way it's designed." I said.
"Really?" Amy asked, sending me a questioning look.
"Yeah, all large scale bridges have either triangles or arches, sometimes both, but never right angles. If the Pillars weren't rounded and if there weren't so many I'd say it was destined to collapse. And even with those facts I'm still not sure that design can actually work. Super bridge builder, yeah right." I finish sarcastically.