Double trouble 7
A/N: There were some great questions about last chapter and some reviewers will have already received answers by PM but I can't reply to guests that way and others might want to know as well...
1) "If Mary Margaret knew what was going to happen to Ri in ch 3 why was she surprised by the knowledge of what her father did to Regina in ch 6?"
In ch 3 MM didn't want Ri to go to marriage without knowing anything about sex but she didn't realise the extent of what happened between her father and her stepmother, as she was only a child at the time. She didn't know Daniel was killed when Regina seemingly changed her mind about marrying the King. Now as an adult she knows what it was probably like but it's still extremely hard to believe such a thing about her father.
2) "Why is Em so knowledgeable about sex/ Was Emma lying?"
It's left open to interpretation but for me, Emma wasn't lying - she wasn't sexually abused. I think in canon OUAT Neal was her first... but in this story she's been with someone else (not Neal, she hasn't met him yet), it's just that her first time wasn't very good.
3) "Why was Emma so cruel to Regina at the end?"
She wasn't quite expecting to see Ri come out of Regina in that way, and she did push her too far. Emma was only trying to get all of the crap in both their pasts to the surface so they can try to move past it. They're all currently stuck because of the feud between Snow and Regina, and one of the problems is that Emma's parents are overlooking just how much Regina's life sucked and made her who she was.
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon."
― Napoleon Bonaparte
Chapter 7 'Gossip Queen'
Inside the apartment the others were getting ready to sit down to lunch. Mary Margaret and David were setting out plates and food items, every now and again they glanced worriedly at the door where they knew Emma and Regina were continuing their intense discussion/fight just outside.
Em pulled out the chair and gestured with a flourish for Ri to sit down. "Milady."
Ri giggled. "Thanks, Em."
David sent Mary Margaret a wry look at their young daughter's smooth moves. "Looks like chivalry isn't dead after all."
"Who's dead?" asked Henry, taking some bread for his sandwich.
"Never mind," Mary Margaret told him. "Here, do you want some salad?"
The apartment door opened and Emma came in followed by Regina, both of them with stiff postures and avoiding each other's eyes, trying to lend credence to covering their newly formed conspiracy. They noticed the lunch setting and silently went to join the table.
Unconsciously Emma pulled the chair out for Regina before taking her own. The others were stunned to see her repeat Em's move - although with far less ceremony.
"Whoomp, there it is!" Em laughed to herself, detecting the change in the older couple immediately.
"You say the funniest things sometimes, Em," said Ri, with lovestruck eyes.
"I know, I'm hilarious. I don't even try, it just happens."
"I think you're weird," said Henry.
"Hey Ri, try this," said Em, producing a brightly coloured foil packet in her hand. "It's chocolate. You'll love it."
"Where did you get that?" David frowned.
"You didn't take all my candy, cop," Em said smugly.
"It's sweet!" said Ri, biting off a corner of the candy bar.
"Not as sweet as you, princess." Em leaned over to kiss her cheekbone quickly.
"Can't we just have dinner without the show?" said Emma, rolling her eyes and kicking Em's leg under the table.
Em poked her tongue out at her. "Hey, pay attention, Crankypants, you might learn something. I got the moves. You might get somewhere with yours if you try."
The air seemed to crackle with tension around Emma and Regina as they continued to avoid each other under the curious gazes of Mary Margaret, David, and Henry. Em and Ri's romance raised obvious questions about their own relationship. Why had the younger girls hit it off so easily when their older versions had spent their early days hitting each other with everything they had? Was it just that they were both defensive and territorial over their own claim on Henry or was it something else? Whatever was between them was hard enough to define without an inquisitive audience.
Ri spoke up hesitantly. "Regina? When you go riding can I go with you?"
"I won't be going riding," said Regina.
"Oh. But don't you miss Rocinante? I miss him already and it's only been a day. He's my best friend."
Apparently it hadn't occurred to Ri that her childhood steed would be dead by now nor that her older self no longer went riding at all. Not to mention how sad it was that the sheltered girl had a horse for a best friend. Her interest in the topic seemed to bring the words spilling out of the normally quiet girl though.
"You like horses, Ri?" asked Em, keen to know everything about her.
"I love riding! It's my favourite thing. I ride an hour every day and longer if Mother is away. Last time I got in trouble though because I went near the vault. I know Mother is keeping something from me in there. I think it's my trousseau! I hope it is."
Ri turned to Regina. "I'm dying to know. Is it?"
"It is your wedding gift, yes," said Regina in a dark tone missed by only half the table.
"If I have to get married I suppose I'll at least have a beautiful gown. I've made it myself, I can work magic with a needle and thread. I managed to get some fairyshot for the embroidery. I'm going to have my hair braided into a crown and my dress will be white, of course, to honour the baby princess."
"T-the baby princess?" stammered Mary Margaret.
"Oh yes. Princess Snow White. I suppose she's not a baby anymore, she's seen eleven winters now I think. Ever since her birth all brides have worn white."
"You know Snow White already?" asked Henry, confused.
"No," sighed Ri. "I begged mother to take me to court to see the Royal family but she wouldn't. She doesn't approve their politics but I think they're so interesting. I'd love to have seen the Princess - they say she is the sweetest child - but I think I'd be too scared to meet royalty. It is a shame about the Queen. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mother..."
Regina kept her eyes on her plate but she could feel everyone watching her - well, Emma and her parents anyway - it was disturbing and mortifying listening to her younger self. She could feel Emma's entire focus on her and when she reached under the table for her hand, Regina folded her own away first. Ri kept on babbling her thoughts though, oblivious to the tension.
"I heard that the King is scouring the countryside looking for a new bride. He must be grieving terribly, they say he and the Queen were a True Love match. He really ought to marry the Daughter of Tinburgh, that would make the most sense politically but apparently she dislikes children so I suppose that would be an unsuitable choice. It will be good for the Princess to have a mother again. I wonder who it will be?"
"This is actually painful to listen to," muttered Emma.
"Oh! I'm sorry." Ri started to blush. "I shouldn't gossip so about the Royals. It's nothing to do with me. Mother always says that."
After that they could barely get another word out of Ri (even though Emma assured her she hadn't meant it like that) and the rest of them lapsed into awkwardness as they ate. Sweet little Ri's words were heart-breaking in conjunction with the knowledge of what spectres lay ahead in her life at the hands of the very Royals she admired and the mother she trusted implicitly. Not to mention her expression of pity for the grieving King who would one day defile her innocence. It made Emma's blood run cold.
Mary Margaret was especially unsettled by what Ri had said, especially in light of what she'd just realised about Regina. As a small child she'd thought that everyone married for True Love and when her father told her he had found a new bride, she'd naturally thought that had meant he'd fallen in love again. Snow had found out that Regina was in love with someone else but when she'd married her father anyway she'd thought that maybe they had something after all. It had gone over her head as a child, but now as an adult she could look back and see that things about that marriage were far from right. It grieved her to realise the extent of what her father had done to her former stepmother - she didn't want to believe him capable of hurting anyone. She'd idolised her father and it hurt to find out he wasn't as good to others as he was to her. Maybe that was what Emma wanted her to see.
The pixie-haired brunette was jolted out of her thoughts when Em leaned over and placed a small round object on her plate with a metallic chink sound. Her face dropped in shock and she checked her left hand quickly before picking up the object. She hadn't even noticed it was gone.
"Sorry. It looks important," said Em contritely.
"My wedding ring!" gasped Mary Margaret.
"I don't take things to hurt people," said Em firmly.
"Someone always gets hurt when you steal," said David.
"No. People have too much to start with. They fool themselves into believing they need a bunch of possessions and that they can measure the value of their life by what they've bought. But they don't know it's worth nothing. I don't need anything or anyone except myself."
Henry piped up in a curious voice. "But if you're so good at stealing why do you live at the train station? Why can't you buy whatever you want?"
"You can't buy what I want," said Em quietly. "And I live there because I want to."
"But it's a train station..." said Mary Margaret, cringing.
"Why do you like living there, Em?" asked Regina.
Em shrugged. "It's freedom. For the first time in my life I've got no grownups bossing me around or tossing me around or telling me what an idiot I am. I can do whatever I want and I can come and go anytime."
"But isn't it dangerous?" said David.
"Not really. I can take care of myself. Sure there's the drunk dudes and the occasional rapist around but they don't come near me, it's like I'm not even there. No-one can hurt me anymore. I do better on my own."
Mary Margaret was horrified at the idea, imagining her child living on the streets in all kinds of weather, cold and hungry and alone. Her imagination was running rampant over the kinds of people about who could prey on her daughter. And hearing that Em chose that life was extremely upsetting (it rivaled the thought of her being abused at the foster home). But Em's words rang with truth when she thought of her own grown-up Emma who had come to Storybrooke with the barest minimum of possessions, insisting that she preferred to be alone.
"But Em-" started Mary Margaret.
"She knows, don't you?" Em sent a nod over to her elder counterpart.
"Yes," agreed Emma cryptically. "But you will think differently one day."
"Adults always say that. Can you just tell me one thing?" asked Em seriously.
Emma nodded. "Don't worry, I got it back."
"Phew," sighed Em happily. "I can't wait to see it again."
"Emma?" asked Ri curiously, glancing from Em's face to her elder version's. "Why don't you smile much anymore?"
Emma opened her mouth as if to answer but no words came out so Regina answered her younger self's question instead.
"Sometimes things happen that take a person's happiness away," said Regina.
"Oh," said Ri sadly.
Em leaned over and pressed her forehead to Ri's temple causing her to giggle. "But there are ways of getting it back."
"Maybe you should try it?" Ri said shyly, looking across the table at their older selves.
Regina was sitting on the bed in Emma's bedroom abruptly jerked out of a deep thought when Emma came in. The blonde stuffed her hands in her jeans pockets and swayed a bit. They were alone since Regina had escaped into the bedroom to get away from the others in the small apartment for a while.
"So. That was only slightly horrifying," said Emma sarcastically.
"I'm sorry it was so distressing for you to hear," said Regina in a flat voice devoid of emotion.
Emma went to sit on the bed next to her causing Regina to narrow her eyes suspiciously at her.
"Regina," said Emma softly. "I'm sorry for what you had to go through. Listening to Ri was just - I can't even - I mean, hearing her talk about her wedding that way, like all she had to look forward to was wearing the dress... and it's worse because I know what's going to happen to her - what happened to you- "
"I don't want your pity," snapped Regina. "You do realise the same would likely would have been your fate too if not for me?"
"What?"
"You think because of your parents that True Love is easy and everyone has it? No. You are lucky you didn't grow up there. The real world is not a fairytale but our home was certainly not a fairytale for everyone either. In marriage you'd have been a bargaining piece passed from father to husband in a political alliance - or worse - just like the rest of us."
Emma shrugged. "We can't know what it would've been like if things were different. If I'd grown up there with them I wouldn't even be the same person I am now."
"You're not even the same person you were ten years ago."
"And neither are you, Regina."
Emma paused, wondering how to go about asking something she'd noticed about Regina's interactions with her younger self.
"Why don't you talk properly to Ri?" said Emma. "She is you - sort of - but you practically ignore her sometimes."
"She's easy to overlook and it's not just me. Or are you trying to make some clever point about me 'ignoring my better self' or something? Because then I'd be inclined to say that you are fighting with yours since you're always verbally sparring with Em."
"That's cos Em's an idiot," muttered Emma.
"You don't even realise what you're saying do you? Em thinks that already and apparently you still think that way. She is you. Why is it that you think nobody would want to bother to get to know you?"
"Even my parents don't want to know me," admitted Emma quietly. "They don't really want to see it."
"It's because they're thinking of themselves and how painful it would be for them to know the truth. Just like when they gave you away. They did that to save themselves and everyone else. They cursed you to a lonely fate instead."
Emma glared at her coldly. "It's not going to work, Regina. Don't try to turn me against them. Whatever issues I have with my parents we'll work them out. We're family."
"Yes, because children always forgive their parents for their mistakes," said Regina sarcastically.
Suddenly, Emma snapped her eyes at the door realising Henry was standing there.
"Hey, kid. What's up?" said Emma lightly.
Henry twisted his mouth sideways and went over to sit in the gap between his two mothers. They were sitting close so there was barely enough room but he squished his little self between them anyway so the three of them were hip-to-hip-to-hip. Some of the conversation at lunch had gone over his head but he had noticed vast differences between the mothers he knew and the teens they used to be.
"You guys are really different now," said Henry.
"Yeah that's -" Emma shrugged. "Kid, that happens. People grow up - and yeah, we're not really them anymore. Em and Ri are just kids themselves, they're closer to your age than they are to ours."
"But-" Henry stopped himself.
"What is it, Henry?" said Regina gently.
"Em doesn't like me," he said. "Does that mean you don't like me, Emma? Are you just pretending?"
"No! Henry, of course not - I love you."
"But only cos you know I'm your son now?"
Emma opened her mouth and paused. A thousand intangible reasons for loving him crashed to forefront of her mind like a hundred-car pileup but there wasn't a single one she could put immediately into words.
"I don't get it, Mom," said Henry, turning to Regina now. "I thought you were only pretending. But you loved me all this time and I wasn't even really yours?"
Regina felt a pang at his words. "Henry, I love you. That's the truth. Maybe no-one else sees it the way I do, but you've always been mine. You've been my son since the day I got you."
"Kid, I know it's hard to understand but you're both of ours," said Emma. "You know why? Cos we both made you who you are. I gave birth to you and your Mom raised you... It's like this - Em would've been a different person if she'd been raised by Mary Margaret and David, and Ri changed after she went through some really bad stuff. There's lots of things that make us who we are. Does that make sense, kid?"
"Kinda," said Henry nodding. "But you guys aren't that different now you know."
"What do you mean?" said Regina.
"Ri looks at me the same way you do, even though she doesn't even know... And Emma? You're kinda weird sometimes, just like Em."
Emma pressed her lips into a smile. "Yeah, kid. I know."
She was still smiling when she looked up and caught Regina looking at her too.
"Excuse me?" Ri's voice came in to interrupt their nonverbal tete-a-tete.
"Hey Ri, what's up?" said Emma.
"Can I have a glass of water please?"
Emma answered, trying not to be impatient with the shy girl. "Ri, it's ok. You don't have to ask permission. Just take it."
"Sorry. I would've asked Em but she's not here."
Emma snapped a look of alarm to Regina. "What do you mean she's not here?!"
"Oh, she just went out. She left a little while ago... she said she was going to try to find some kind of shop but I didn't understand the wording. Henry, do you remember?"
"Yup," Henry nodded. "She's gone to the pawn shop."