Thoughts: Italicized

P.O.V. Switch: Bold

Regular P.O.V. : Johnny Cade

Chapter 9: Heat

Dally took me back to the rundown motel after he and Darry talked. He didn't tell me what they were talking about, but I assume they were talking about my dad or somethin' like that. Even though Ponyboy told me that it was just going to be for a night, I have a feeling that it was going to be more than that. The way Dally looked when he was talking to Ponyboy's brother was as if he was frustrated. Unconsciously I began to look at Dally as he drove. He still looks upset. ... It's always when my pops do somethin' that Dally gets upset. It's not like I can do anything about it, and part of me don't want to because it only prove that he's concerned. I then paused from thinking once he quickly glanced to me before bringing his gaze back to the road again.

"Hey, uh, Johnnyboy" He started. I couldn't help but notice the strength in his voice. It always sounded stronger than usual when he was mad or upset. "I know you're pretty lost about the situation you're in. Darry tried talkin' to me about ways to keep you safe, but the things he suggested wouldn't work because he doesn't know you like I do, or what's best for you" What's best for me? I wouldn't have thought to ever hear Dally say something like that. I shyly nodded my head, unsure of what to say in response to that. So I remained quiet. "I'm afraid you'll have to stay at the Motel till things die down. If you go back to the gangs spot too soon, I'm pretty sure your old-man will find you and do God-knows-what to yah. ... You won't have to worry about food and what not. I'll make sure to buy you things, get your clothes, and buy you a pack of cigarettes when you need 'em. So just relax till, like I said, everything dies down, okay?" He said before he slowly drove into the Motel parking-lot; parking the car close to the building.

Taking the keys out of the ignition he relaxed back in his chair and turned his head so he was looking at me. I couldn't help but feel my stomach churn once our eyes met. I'm always gettin' butterflies when he looks at me. "O-Okay, Dally" I slightly began to stutter. "I-I mean, I don't want you spending all your money on me. I'll be fine as long as I eat "something" throughout the day; and the cigarettes can wait." I tried telling him till he cautiously brought a hand over and gently rested it against the right side of my cheek.

My body froze completely once his fingers grazed across my skin. His hands are always hot. ... Are they? ... Maybe it's just me. I held my breath as his thumb began rubbing my skin. "I don't care what you say; I'm making sure you get everything you need to stay comfortable. I'd stay with you through the nights if it's what you want, Johnnyboy?" He then asked.

He's willing to stay with me overnight? Dally... I lowered my eyes to my lap once a rush of heat came to my face. "Y-Yeah, but that's only if it's okay with you? I-I don't want you having to worry about sleeping overnight with me-" "Johnny, I'm the one who's okay with fucking you. So why in the hell would I worry about sleeping overnight with you?" He bluntly stated, causing me to turn my gaze away from my lap and stare at him wide-eyed.

It amazed a little as to how he could say something like that and still look as if it was something normal to say. But then I can feel my chest hurt a little because the way Dally would talk would sound like he cares for me. ... I mean he do! But it's just that when he talks about not having to worry about going back, letting me stay at his hideout, and even suggesting that he could stay with me during the nights, Dally would make it seem like he cares about me in the same way I about him. ... Love. But then he reminds me that he's interested in having sex with me, and I get scared that it's probably the only thing he's interested in.

Slowly I began lowering my eyes till my gaze was back onto my lap and gave a nervous laugh.

"Right. I be forgettin' that you're interested in having sex with me, Dally. ... Just sex" I unconsciously mumbled.

It didn't take too long for me to hear him say, "And what's that s'pposed to mean? Just sex?" His deep yet threatening voice caused my body to still; especially when he said, "Johnny, you have three seconds to look at me and talk." And just like that, I immediately faced him and saw the coldness in his gaze. It was super rare for Dally to threaten me so openly like that unless I did something that really bothered him.

But why did this bother him?

"Now talk." He sharply told me.

"B-But it's true" I couldn't control my voice from shaking. "Y-You know that I l-love you,Dally. But you get my hopes up sweet talkin' me and telling me things that make it seem like you care for me the same way I care for you. Sometimes I wonder what you look at me as when you're doin' that to me. ... Am I a friend to you? A br-brother?" The more I talked, the more I felt the corner of my eyes sting along with my face heating up. And for a second time, ... it felt like I couldn't breath. Facing Dally like this. Looking him straight in the eyes. Telling him that something that he does that bothers me. All of those things made it hard for me breath, and the longer I stared at him, the more I began to feel something warm slide down my cheeks.

"Johnny-" He tried speaking, but I completely cut him off and told him, "Th-That's right. I-I'm Johnny fucking Cade! Not one of those girls you sweet talk to, just to have sex with them! I-I'm not Lucy! I'm not Tina! I'm Johnny fucking Cade! Just like you said, I'm Johnny fucking Cade, but when are you going to treat me like Johnny Cade? I-I know you don't love me, but please. Pl-Please don't treat me like the girls you use and throw away." I couldn't believe myself. I was yelling at Dally and I couldn't stop.

"What the-? Boy, I don't treat you like those damn broads, and you must've lost your mind yelling at me like this!"

"H-How do you know? You're not in my shoes looking or hearing you! If you were in my shoes, you'd know what I'm talking about! How would you feel having the person you love know that you love them tell you sweet things, but have the fact that they're okay with having sex with you? I-It'll hurt because you don't know if they're saying sweet things to get to you faster." I fussed back.

"But you're not like those damn broads to me! I chose to take care of you because I wanted to! And the things I told you that one night, I meant all of it! Obviously it's not about the sex if I think more about your safety and making sure you're safe at all times!" He yelled.

"Then what am I to you?"

"Johnny Cade. You'll always be Johnny Cade to me."

"Wh-What meaning does Johnny Cade have to you?" I then questioned, causing the blonde to grunt and bang his fist against the steering wheel. I couldn't help but lean back into the chair and travel my hand towards the handle of the door, opening it and pushing it open wearily. A big part of me knew that he wouldn't have been able to answer it, and I felt bad now that I look back at everything I yelled at Dally.

He probably doesn't want to talk to me. Or worse; he's mad at me.

"I-I'm so sorry, Dally" I managed to quiver out before I stepped out the car and was met by the cold air outside. My legs moved rapidly, walking away from the car and towards the motel.

I didn't know what have gotten into me? I let my emotions get the best of me, and now I bet Dally doesn't even like me after yellin' at him like that. ... I got so caught up in my true fear that it came out.

Right when I came close to the opening and placed my hand on the door, another's hand slapped against the glass door, causing me to flinch and turn halfway around till another hand caught me by the chin, forcing me to look up.

His icey blue eyes looked down at me in something I couldn't tell. ... Something about Dally's expression was something I've never seen before. But it felt like I gone deaf once his lips opened, whispering, "Johnny Cade is my reason to live. Otherwise I wouldn't care about dying the next day, and if that doesn't make you get how I feel about you, then shame on you, Johnnyboy."

I didn't know what to say. He had me with that very sentence.

I didn't know what to say except for, "Dallas Winston loves me...?" I whispered beneath my breath in disbelief.

"It's not like I haven't thought about you along those lines, but a man just don't go sayin' shit like that out in the open. Especially me" He began to explain. "Look. I'm sorry if I made it seem like I didn't, but I do. Hell! If I wanted me a stupid, loose-foot, good for nothing broad, wouldn't you think I'd be able to get me one in less than an hour? But instead I spend most of my time with you and be having a good time doing so. More of a good time than getting chased by the fuzz, or even getting into a fight. And if I happen to get arrested, the first thing that come to mind is acting good so I could get out early to see you again."

"Really?" My chest began to pound and swell.

"Now listen carefully, Johnnyboy. I love you. You've always been mine, and I'll always protect you. I never gave those broads the same care I give you, and you should always know that, okay?"

"Dally" I could die happily. This moment hearing him say that he loved someone can make me happy forever. Especially knowing how that someone is me. "I-I love you too." And I would never have thought to hear that I'd hear myself say 'I love you too' to anyone.