Every Thought Captive
Disclaimer: I do not own The A Team movie or television series or any of the delightful characters found on The A Team.
Chapter 59 Spirit Guide
He wasn't sure when he recognized that someone knelt beside him. All he felt was pain, a searing hot pain running from below his ear to the center of his throat. He tried to will himself to seek out the source but couldn't make his hand move.
I wanna know . . . but I don' wanna know . . . that don' make sense . . . no sense 't all . . . stop it! Stop thinkin' . . .
His thoughts were rambling like so many cattle across a Texas range.
I gotta corral 'em . . .
One snarling tiger would make them run . . .
. . . but tigers ain' foun' in Texas . . . are they . . .
He heard Cazador's voice in the distance, like the businessman was speaking from the end of a tunnel. The words were muffled, a hint of worry coloring them, reminding Murdock of what had happened before he blacked out.
Hanson . . . he was gonna . . . that's Mister Cazador . . . he's gotta be 'live . . . ain' he? . . . who's flyin' th' Lady . . .
Something pressed against his throat. White spots flashed behind his closed eyelids. He gasped for each new breath.
. . . it's hard 'nough t' get air . . .
But he couldn't lift his hand to push the obstacle away.
In the blinding whiteness that was taking over his mind, he saw a young man. As he struggled to breathe, the person came closer. Murdock raised his hand . . .
. . . how come it's so easy t' get my han' t' do what I want now?
. . . shielding his eyes against the brilliant light framing the figure.
I know you.
The young man smiled and without moving his lips said, "O' course ya know me, big brother."
It was then he realized any movement his body was making was happening inside his own mind, not in reality.
Which meant the person gazing at him with a smile that seemed so familiar was . . .
. . . Billy?
Billy nodded. "I'm here t' guide ya for now. Yer buddy Face's right b'side ya. Ya might wanna let 'im know yer still able t' hear 'im. Let 'im know what's goin' on."
"Better get us down fast. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do this." That was Face's voice. Now that Billy told him who it was, Murdock could hear a strange mixture of pain and dread in the tone.
It took every bit of his strength to make his eyelids flutter open. He groaned. All that came out was an airy whimper.
His eyelids half-shuttered his eyes but even with that sort of limited vision, he recognized the person kneeling next to him, applying pressure to his throat.
C'mon, voice. Let 'im know ya see 'im, that ya know 'im . . .
With another great effort, he pushed the word out. "Face?"
His buddy said something he couldn't understand. There was too much white noise to make out any more than "I've got you" at the end of the statement.
"I know ya do. Ya won' let me fall." He wasn't sure Face heard him. The battle to tell him that drained enough of his remaining strength, he couldn't repeat it. His eyelids drifted shut.
The bright light surrounding his brother was nearing him. Or was he walking toward the light? He didn't care which it was. It felt warm and comforting and more peaceful than anything he had ever experienced in his almost forty years on Earth.
Seconds after his eyelids closed completely and he felt the euphoric floating feeling begin to numb the pain in his throat, someone shook his shoulder violently.
It was Face. "No! Murdock, stay awake." The con man was panicking. The tone of the words told Murdock that much.
Ain' no need t' be so worried. I'm fine.
He wished he could say it out loud. He had to let Face know somehow that everything was going to be fine, that he wasn't really going to sleep. That he was letting Billy take him somewhere where pain didn't dare follow.
He'd been there before after some of his Pa's beatings, when he was in the POW camp, when he took the bullet for Hannibal. It wasn't a scary place at all. And this time, he was closer to the peace it offered than ever before.
If only Face would stop shaking his shoulder. That was the only thing keeping him grounded in the real world, preventing the pain from being totally deadened.
Billy waited patiently for him at the edge of the boundary where reality merged into light.
Is it so bad fer me t' wanna take a step closer?
He hesitated. "Where're ya takin' me, Billy?" Maybe if he could reassure Face there was no danger in visiting, he would let him go with Billy to see.
I'm not takin' ya far, big brother. Jus' want ya t' see somethin'. 'N' Face'll still be there when ya get back. Like all th' other times. 'Member?
Billy had never led him astray before. Murdock summoned up whatever he could find of his strength and tried to tell his friend exactly what Billy said.
The faint scents of the fancy shampoo the con man used every morning on his hair and the cologne he wore told the pilot Face had drawn closer so he could hear him better when he spoke.
He didn' hear me las' time, Billy. Help me tell 'im.
He forced himself to repeat what he had said, feeling with every couple of words that he might not be able to finish.
"Billy . . . wants me . . . to see . . . somethin' . . . "
With those words, Murdock took a step into the realm where Billy waited. He gasped as his spirit body detached from his physical body. The process was something like remote viewing, like what Jackson made him do but the destination this time . . .
Face said something about Billy. The words sounded like they came from the other side of a motel room wall.
Can I tell 'im 'bout where I am? He'd wanna know.
Billy smiled and nodded.
He drank in the sight so he could accurately describe it for his friend, reassure him that all was well. All around him was startlingly blue sky, wispy clouds rimmed with gold, a gentle breeze . . .
He knew he couldn't say much. All he could manage at this point was a whisper. The two words he chose didn't even begin to communicate what he saw but he hoped they would help Face understand.
"It's . . . beautiful . . . " Billy touched him on the sleeve to get his attention.
But I gotta have ya shut yer eyes for a second. This ain' where yer s'posed t' be. Not yet.
The last thing he wanted to do was to shut out the beauty of the sky where he and Billy were. It was where he always hoped he would spend his eternity when that time came. For now, he knew Billy needed him to do what he was asked so Murdock reluctantly obeyed.
oooooo
The gurgling shallow breaths coming from Murdock fueled Face's panic. The blood coming from the wound wasn't stopping with the pressure he applied. It saturated Cazador's red bandana and dripped through his fingers to his friend's collar. He shook Murdock's shoulder and groaned with frustration when the pilot remained silent.
The color drained from the Lieutenant's face as the reality of what was happening to his best friend sank in.
"No . . . no! It isn't supposed to end this way!" As he watched Murdock's breathing continue to deteriorate, the Lieutenant barely breathed, unconsciously imitating what he witnessed.
A breath caught in the pilot's throat and for a second, he struggled for the next. Face ignored the intense pain in his own side and scooped his friend into an embrace, forgetting the bandana in his hand. His eyes misted over as Murdock convulsed once and then lay limp in his arms.
"We're almost there. Keep talking to him." Cazador broke through the horror Face felt. The businessman shot an impatient glance at him. "And keep pressure on his neck."
Face felt the plane begin its descent. He couldn't look to confirm where they were. All he could see and hear was what he knew might be his best friend's last moments.
"We're almost there, buddy. We're almost there. Just hang in there and you'll be fine." Face gently lowered Murdock's body back into the seat. Pressing the bandana on the throat wound again, he went through the motions of what he had to believe would keep his friend alive until they landed.
oooooo
B. A. got the van turned around and began the difficult drive back to the main road.
They had come quite a distance on the Red Cloud Mine Road. Their progress was hindered by large rock outcroppings that seemed to appear out of nowhere in the ruts of the road. Whenever B. A. spotted one of them, he had to slow down and either skirt the boulder or let the wheels carefully go over it, hoping all the while the undercarriage of the van wouldn't hit the rock.
The concentration he had to use stretched his nerves taut.
What he was feeling couldn't be from the danger Face and Murdock were in up there in that plane.
At least, that's what he tried to tell himself.
He didn't dare glance at either Hannibal or Amy.
It wasn't because of the looks on their faces, their obvious worry for Face and Murdock.
No. I just gotta make sure I keep the van on the road. That's all.
Even so, he impatiently glanced once or twice at the quickly receding glint of the Lucky Lady as the plane flew to her new destination, Cazador's ranch.