Jesse had a long, sound and uneventful sleep for the first time in many months. It was the first time he rested with any ease since he had been taken captive. That was not to say that he had much ease, but he took the smallest comfort in Walt's presence. He woke as a minute amount of light seeped in through the small, barred window. His eyes opened one at a time and he stirred slightly, backing his head away from Walt's side. The arm around him became firm and steadied him in place, which only startled Jesse. He sprang to a sitting position and froze as visions and sensations wound through him: Kenny looming over him, crushing his chest or pinning him down by his back. He shook the thoughts from his head and stilled himself on the bunk. He was here beside Mr. White and that wasn't what was happening…at least not yet. His breathing became rapid as thoughts about the day ahead crawled into his head. When would it happen and how would it happen swam around in his mind.
"Jesse, lay back down," Walt ordered with a voice that was firm, but still warm. He slowly lowered himself down while his breathing only became more rapid.
"Here, lay your head on my chest and breathe in and out with me," Walt said, patting his chest. Hesitantly, he complied and laid his head down as his eyes wandered across the room to the steel door. Walt's chest rose and fell at a slow and steady pace, and Jesse concentrated on inhaling and exhaling along with it. It worked, and he soon fell back asleep.
As he drifted again into a deep sleep, this time he began to dream he was back in the desert. He was back at To'hajiilee on his knees with a gun pointed at his head. Walt stood in front of him and bargained with Jack over his death. Jesse had dreamed about these events many times over the past year, and every time the dream ended in the same way: he was shot in the head before Walt could rip his heart out by telling him about Jane. Everything would then fade to white and a sense of warmth and contentedness he's never experienced in waking life would envelope him.
The dream was different this time. Hank and his partner's bodies lay in front of him filling the space between him and Mr. White, and blood began to pool at his knees as though it refused to sink into the sand. He looked up at Mr White, who spoke so fast he was incomprehensible. When he looked back down, the bodies were replaced with those of Andrea and Jane. Covered in blood, they looked at Jesse from the corners of their eyes. He screamed, and Walt is now in front of him, pointing a gun in his face. "Open up" he said, sliding the gun into his mouth. Suddenly, he hears "Stop...stop, Jesse…"
"-Wake up, stop it!" Walt shook him from his nightmare. He opened his eyes and blurted out a groggy 'no' realising his faced Walt uncomfortably close. He moved himself back until he felt comfortable, but didn't sit up.
"You were drooling and mouthing at my chest," Walt said with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.
"I was just dreaming," Jesse returned, not interested in discussing how he was being tortured even as he slept. And tortured by Walt, no less.
"Do you think you've slept enough?" Walt asked.
Jesse moved off of Walt and pulled his knees to his chest. "Yeah, I mean, it's the most sleep I've had…all year," he half-smiled.
"Good. There's no reason for us to wait any longer. We need to act today."
"Okay," Jesse said quietly.
Walt and Jesse sat against the wall directly in the steel door's opening radius each clutching a length of black cord, and their resolve only began to fade after forty-five minutes of waiting.
"Like, how long are we sitting in this position?" Jesse asked.
"Until the door opens, then we jump up. Remember, you need to put that metal tray in the door so we can re-open it." Walt pointed to the dining tray propped up against the wall beside Jesse.
"And what if like, three of them come in?" Jesse had a bit more energy in his voice, but he was a long way from where Walt wished he were.
"We'll just have to improvise. Eye gouging is effective, um…a very hard kick in the nuts is always a good way to go."
Walt was mulling over self-defence moves in his encyclopedic brain. Jesse half rolled his eyes then laid his head back against the wall. Walt could see a new anxiety overtaking him. "What if we make it to the car and can drive away, then what?" Jesse asked.
Walt looked down his nose into Jesse's eyes. With irritation he said, "What do you mean, that is our goal. That's what we're working toward. Are we on the same page here?"
"Yeah, I get that…I mean, like after that bit. Where are we going?"
Oh, Walt mouthed. He didn't have an answer and hadn't long thought about it.
"Like, how much money do you have?" Jesse asked.
Walt looked down and scratched the side of his head. "Oh, I've got some…a little bit to keep us going."
"Like, how much are we talking here? 'Cause I'm fucked. Since you won't kill me, I might have to live a long life or something. I can't get a job, I can't even like be seen in public…" Jesse trailed off. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes tightly and Walt sensed his despair.
"Jesse, I hadn't thought that far ahead because quite honestly, I don't think this will work. I figured that you were ready to go out…with me…like this. Maybe we could at least take a few with us." Walt chuckled a bit as his eyes began to glisten.
"Ohh…" Jesse started. "I am, I mean…I've been ready for ages." He looked back at Walt, eyes soft and heartening, which to Walt was terrifying.
"But are you really? You're sitting here asking about money and the rest of your life after this place. God, you're still so young, Jesse. Maybe we need to rethink this. Maybe we need to take our time and think about long term, for you-"
"Take our time? What are you saying?" Jesse's hands shook and his throat sounded scratchy. He threw down the black cord and stood up. Walt rolled his eyes and dropped his too, bracing for what was coming next.
"Are you screwing with me right now, still, after all this time?" Jesse yelled at him.
"No, I am not. Would you please just calm down. We need to re-think this plan."
"You're the one who rallied me into like, being all ready for this. I just wanted to be done with everything, but no, you have get me thinking things…about…stuff!"
"Okay, Jesse enough. Just quiet down." Walt returned firmly, now standing opposite Jesse. They were still behind the door, and Walt was bubbling with aggravation, his chest beginning to heave when he had a thought. If they could just hang on a little longer…
Suddenly the door flew open and Kenny and Todd appeared. They hadn't turned around yet to find Walt and Jesse had been hiding behind the door, and Walt couldn't let that happen. Instinctually, he grabbed Jesse and pushed him to the floor behind Kenny and Todd.
"Whoa now, what's goin' on here?" Kenny grinned.
In the best Heisenberg voice Walt could muster he spewed, "Oh nothing. I've just had enough of this little pissant."
Jesse looked up at him from the floor, gritting his teeth.
"We'll take him off your hands," Kenny laughed as he and Todd dragged Jesse out by his elbows. The door was shut with a bang from the outside.
Walt knew that Jesse may not forgive him for this in his lifetime. He decided that was of little relevance, and it mere placed him in a category with his son Walter, Jr. Walt had now accepted that Jr. would lead his life despising his father. He was comforted instead to know that Jr. would receive his trust from Gretchen and Elliot and, at the very least, he and Holly would be taken care of for their entire lives. And he hoped, too, that Jr. would care for Sklyar in her twilight. It was the only possible thing he could give them because everything else was lost. What if he could devise a plan to do the same for Jesse? If he could get a piece of that eighty million and send Jesse off with it, at least he'd have a fighting chance. He had been right, Walt thought, about what would happen next. Allowing him to drive into the night without a plan could end in too many desperate situations. Pinkman didn't value his life as it stood now and there would be little way to convince him to carry on without the means to do so. He had to devise a way to retrieve at least a portion of the money, and then a safe passage from the compound for at least Jesse.
After a few hours, the metal door opened. Walt expected to see Jesse collapse into a heap on the ground. He was ready to give the performance of a lifetime to get him on side. Instead, Jack walked in and shut the door quickly behind him. He stood and stared at Walt, hair slicked back and leather jacket chafing.
"Walt, I got a job for you," Jack started. "My boy wants a cook with you before you bite the big one."
Walt's jaw dropped and his eyelids flickered. "A cook…with me?"
"Yes, you know Todd's strange affinity for you. He has spent the last day pleading with me for one last chance to learn from the master. Who am I to crush his little dream?"
Walt shifted and stood directly opposite Jack, shoulders back and eyes dark.
"I would be agreeable to this," Walt started firmly, "but, I want one thing in return since we're nearing the last supper, so to speak."
"I'm listening," Jack returned with a smirk.
"I want that little runt Pinkman as my prisoner. I want my way with him and no interference from your men until it's time for…the last rites." Walt exhaled sharply and rose his nose, daring Jack to argue with him.
"I see. I'm not sure my men will be amendable to that. You see, they got habits with that little cocksucker."
"I'm well aware of these habits. You've had him for a year, is that not enough? I'm a dying man…I have desires." Walt nearly choked at his own words he found them so repulsive. He steadied himself and stared directly into Jack's eyes.
"Okay…Walt. Death sure does bring out the truth in a man. If you want a lady before we kill you, Toddy can see what he can find-"
"No, I want him." Walt blurted out, practically yelling.
"Fine. I can't make any promises about the other men but I'll try and have them ease off. Toddy will be in for the cook when he's ready. Could be a day, could be a week. Don't sweat it, though. Either way you'll be meeting your maker soon enough." Jack finished and left quickly, the door banging shut and the deadlock clattering to a hard click. Walt immediately braced himself on his knees breathing in and out while trying to keep his composure. He could work with this, he thought.
Three more hours passed with Walt lying alone on his bunk. His hopeful mood had given way to a sullen depression at Jesse's absence. He felt the longer he was gone, the worse state he would be in when he returned. Maybe he was simply cooking with Todd, he tried to convince himself. There was no way to know until the moment he returned, and so Walt tried to push it out of his mind. Supper came with water and again it was fried chicken, but this time with biscuits and one apple turnover. He ate the apple turnover with no hesitation, and contentedly drank down some water. And then, the door opened. Slowly and quietly Jesse walked into the room, the door shutting quietly behind him. He stood for a moment staring. Walt was relieved he was upright and walking, so relieved that he smiled, which must have spooked Jesse. Suddenly, he remembered his talk with Jack and the realty of the situation. "Jesse," he ordered, "Get on the bunk."
"What?" Jesse scowled.
"Do as I say." Walt yelled while raising his eyebrows and bulging his eyes imploringly, hoping Jesse would understand.
"Are you FOR REAL?" Jesse yelled back. "You push me to the ground like bait for those assholes and now you're ordering me around?" He waved his arms around while he yelled back, not comprehending for a moment Walt's plan.
"Jesse, DO AS I SAY." He firmly yelled into to Jesse's face, and then he quickly leant in and whispered, "Just go with this, I will explain."
"Whatever, asswipe." Jesse reluctantly walked over to the bunk and sat down, huffing and puffing.
Walt was certain that the men could not see into the room unless they were peering through cracks between the door and its frame. He doubted that, but he was less certain they wouldn't eavesdrop periodically. It was going to be distasteful at times, but his plan should keep Jesse protected.