Disclaimer: Nothing owned by me, except Leroy.
The bus came to a screeching halt.
"See, I'd told you we'd be fine." Leroy said to the terrified contestants. "Nothing's broken."
A loud clanging was heard as the back bumper fell from the bus.
"…Except for that." Leroy continued. "Anyhow, we've arrived at our destination. Now get off. I have a schedule to keep. Single file please."
Leroy opened the bus doors as Duncan was the first to step out and take a deep breath.
"Man, I miss the smell of the city." He was followed by Leshawna, Harold, and Heather and Gwen, the former of the two nearly tripping due to both of them trying to get out at the same time.
"Step off!" Heather ordered.
"You step off!" Gwen retorted. Both growled at each other.
"I don't have time for this, so get off already!" Leroy sternly said before pressing a button. A large mechanical hand came out of his jacket and it shoved both of them off the bus. Gwen slammed into Harold, who in turn slammed into Leshawna before falling to the ground, his Rubik's cube shattered.
"Sorry Leshawna." Harold said as the pieces fell on him.
"No harm done." Leshawna replied.
Soon, everyone else got off the bus. Leroy drove off to the other side of the film lot, where Chris was waiting.
"About time you got here," Chris said. "Now follow me."
Chris and Leroy got into the front seats of a cart, with the passenger area at the back. Chris drove to the front gates of the film lot, where Leroy dropped off the campers.
"Dude, it's about time." Duncan said.
"Hop on, everyone!" Chris instructed, "Come on, people, sheesh, we haven't got all day. This cart's rented by the hour!"
All of the competitors boarded the tram. All but one.
"Izzy, run!" Owen called.
Said redhead just whistled.
Owen facepalmed. "I mean Kaleidoscope!"
"No one leaves E-Scope behind!" she let out a Tarzan-like yell, and caught up to the tram rather quickly and jumped in.
"Welcome to the set of Total Drama Action!" Chris announced. "This season's hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot!" the tram passed by some studios.
Lindsay gasped. "Does this mean we're gonna be on the movies?"
"No, it mean you're gonna be on TV. And don't interrupt me, ever!" he flicked Lindsay on the nose before continuing.
"You'll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges and for rewards, all for the chance to win some Mooonster Cash!"
"Yeah baby, I'm gonna win me some moolah!" Owen exclaimed.
"Shush! Like last season, one team will win, and the other team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk Of Shame to the Lame-O-Sine!"
The tram passed by a red carpet, with a rusty limousine waiting at the end. Chris pressed a button that raised the windows on his and Leroy's side, leaving the contestants in the passenger seat to cough at the emitted fumes from the Lame-O-Sine. Once they passed by it, Chris lowered the windows.
"Now since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in, you'll dish the dirt in our new makeup confessional!" the tram passed by a normal-looking trailer.
Confessional
Lindsay-"Oh my gosh. A whole trailer full of makeup!" (someone offscreen offers her a tube of lipstick) "Oh sorry, I don't use that brand."
Leroy-"I gotta say, even though this place looks like a bit of a dump, I'd prefer this over that stinky outhouse any day."
"On your left is the craft services tent," Chris said as the tram passed by a large white tent, "catered by Chef." A loud noise was heard coming from the tent, as Chef, wielding a cleaver, chased a raccoon outside.
Lindsay brought out a camera to take a picture. Leroy gave her an awkward stare before Chris interrupted by speeding off.
"If you survive Chef, you'll have to make it through our dramatic awards ceremony, where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award." the tram passed by a large stage, with some bleachers right next to it. The stage was flanked on either side with a gilded statue of Chris.
Confessional
Gwen-"The Gilded Chris? What a narcissist. Don't get me wrong, I still want one."
"You done now, dude?" Geoff asked in boredom.
"I have an eject button, and I'll use it!"
"Please, continue."
The tram then passed by a space movie set.
"Woah, cool! Is this a dream?" Harold asked.
"No Harold, it is not. But you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie, until the star began experiencing some ah…uh…technical difficulties?"
"Oh no, did she have like, a mental breakdown?" Lindsay asked.
"Actually, the star wasn't a her. It was an animatronic monster!"
Everyone looked around at several building and tree props that had monster-sized bites in them.
"What happened to it?" Gwen asked nervously.
Confessional
Gwen-(sighs) "In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have asked that question."
As the tram continued, an earth-shaking roar was heard as many covered their ears.
"Come on, dudes," Duncan said, "he's yanking our chains."
A large green tail slapped a broadcast tower prop, knocking it over. Chris stopped the tram just short of the fallen tower.
"Since we're on a film lot," Chris said, "this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre: The Monster Movie! Duh!"
Everyone gasped as a large green something with sharp claws and a long tail stomped past. DJ got a full blast of it and fainted.
Chris poked the big guy's chest with a stick. "Down for the count. For your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the art monster prevents your every move. Chef has kindly offered to control the beast. Aaaaaaanndd…action!"
Everyone just sat still.
"Uh, that means go."
Immediately everyone began to barge out of the tram as Heather was pushed away by Trent, who was karate chopped in the face by Harold, who was tossed aside by Duncan.
"This is gonna be a long season." Chris commented.
Leroy brought out his jetpack to begin following the contestants. He looked on as they dashed across a beach set, Harold lagging behind as the monster continued to storm towards them.
"Oh baby, did you see that?" Owen asked Izzy. "That thing is so cool!"
Leroy looked back at the starting line and saw DJ, who had woken up.
"I can almost hear your sweet lullabies, mama…" he whimpered as he sucked his thumb and Chris patted his head.
When Leroy checked back on Owen and Izzy, he saw that a large green hand was about to grab the latter.
"Izzy, duck, duck!" Owen yelled.
Izzy laughed. "Goose!" just then, the hand slammed down, sending Izzy flying into a crane.
"Do it again!" she called.
Owen shook his head in terror as the monster grabbed and carried her off. Leroy followed the monster as it dumped Izzy into a bounce house. She laughed as she bounced.
Confessional
Leroy-"You thought the monster was gonna eat 'em? Nah, we couldn't do that. Wouldn't wanna risk the lawsuits."
Owen-"Maybe the monster won't look for me in here. I love Izzy, not like 'love' love, but I think she's amazing. I just wish she'd notice me and not that dumb monster. How can I compete with it? Sure we're both big and we both eat a lot, but it's really tall."
Under an umbrella, Bridgette and Geoff were making out as per usual while Gwen and Trent ran past them as the monster continued rampaging.
"How are we supposed to find the actors' trailers anyway?" Gwen asked.
"Follow the good looking people!" Justin yelled as he ran by.
"Yeah, follow Justin!" Beth added as she ran as well.
Gwen and Trent shrugged before following them.
Duncan paused from his run to take notice of the blonde couple. "Um, I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind."
Confessional
Bridgette-"What was I thinking? Duncan is so right. Hello, I like Geoff, but I also like a million bucks!"
Geoff-"Duncan's right. It's time to get our heads in the game. Booyah!"
Bridgette and Geoff-(making out)
"This challenge isn't so bad," Gwen said as she, Trent and Duncan ran across the block, "What, no explosions, no burning buildings, no bears?"
"Maybe it's not in the budget." Trent suggested.
"Oh yeah?" Leroy said as he brought out a button and pressed it. A nearby building prop exploded. Another press and a house prop burned down. The charred bear inside the latter prop roared as it chased down the three contestants.
Confessional
Leroy-"The bear had one day left on its contract and I just hate to waste."
Leroy watched the monster reached into the trailer confessional and pull out Bridgette and Geoff. It made its way to the bounce house and dropped them in.
"I love you!" Bridgette yelled.
"I love you too!" Geoff yelled back as they fell.
Meanwhile, Leroy saw Leshawna running across the set, only to pause when she saw Harold hiding under an umbrella.
"Come on, string bean, I hope you can run, we've got a challenge to win!" she said as she pulled him out.
"If I wanted to," Harold replied, "I could run as fast as a pronghorn antelope. It's the fastest land mammal after the cheetah."
A roar suddenly sent both of them flying before the monster grabbed them.
"Easy now, this booty is breakable!" Leshawna shouted before the monster dropped them into the outhouse.
"I love you!" Harold yelled.
"Say what now?" Leshawna replied.
Leroy looked at the remaining contestants. Trent and Gwen were still running, but they made a quick turnaround when they saw the monster in their path. As they passed Justin, the pretty boy's eye's widened before he continued his run, only to end up in the monster's hands. When the monster brought him to its face, Justin said "Yo!" and waved at it. The monster's pupils widened.
"Huh?" Leroy said.
Confessional
Justin-"I'm not just another gorgeous face, and abs, and butt, and shoulders, okay? I'm also a master strategist. This year, I'm in it to win it."
The monster gently placed Justin into the bounce house. He noticed everyone staring at him.
"What are you all staring at?" he asked.
"You." Everyone replied.
"Oh, right."
Back at the course, Leroy saw Heather running alone. A roar from the monster caused her to hold on to her wig.
Lindsay emerged from behind a bush prop. "You tell her, we don't like her!"
Just then, she and Heather were grabbed by the monster and dumped into the bounce house.
"I'll miss you Lindsay!" Beth called.
"Uh, excuse me," Heather yelled from the bounce house, "I think you forgot something!" the monster dropped her wig into the bounce house and she put it back on.
Leroy watched as Beth, DJ, Gwen and Trent run as the monster continued its chase. They paused for a moment as the monster loomed over them.
"Everyone, follow me!" Trent said as they ran in a different direction.
Confessional
Gwen-"That's what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He's always thinking of others. That's one of the things I love about him."
Everyone else ran, but DJ just stood frozen in place.
"It's okay, big guy, I gotcha." Trent assured as he dragged him away to a nearby building. When they entered the door though, it turned out to be a prop.
"You mean, everything around here is fake?"
Confessional
Gwen-"That, and Trent's exceptional powers of observation.
The monster grabbed the four of them as it made its way to the bounce house.
"I'm coming Lindsay!" Beth shouted as the monster dropped them.
"I'm here for you babe!" Trent yelled as they fell.
Leroy saw Duncan and Owen emerging from a car prop at the same area where the previous capture took place.
"Haha, losers!" Duncan laughed.
"Boy, am I ever glad I'm not them." Owen added.
A green finger tapped Duncan's shoulder. The two boys turned around and saw the monster grinning menacingly at them. Owen ducked under the cardboard prop.
"I'm gonna die!" he wailed as the claw reached out to them.
Leroy saw that the hand only grabbed Duncan, and dropped him into the bounce house.
Owen opened his eyes. "I'm okay? I'm okay! Yeah baby, time to find those cast trailers!" he went through the door of the building prop.
"I…can't…run…any…more…" he panted as he toppled to the ground.
The monster's shadow loomed over Owen as it looked down at him.
"Take me…I…surrender…" he said.
The monster grabbed him, but sparks suddenly fizzled around its arm, indicating that it was shorting out.
Confessional
Owen-"Boy, am I ever glad I didn't go on that diet. Being big can really have its advantages. Y'know, like…when you're not trying to uh…be captured by an animatronic monster...for example. That's just off the top of my head."
More sparks fizzled around the animatronic monster until it failed entirely as it dropped Owen.
"Yes! I'm too heavy!" Owen celebrated. "I win! I win!"
"Not yet, Owen my man," Chris walked up to him, "you still have to find the trailers."
"Aw man…" Owen groaned as he continued walking.
Leroy flew over to the trailers, which were located near the bounce house.
"Looks like Owen is the only one left in this challenge!" Leroy announced, "And with the animatronic monster defeated, there's no stopping him from getting here anytime now!"
Five hours later
"…Anytime now!" Leroy said sleepily as Chef walked past him, his rubber suit, which he used to control the monster, was fizzling.
Five more hours later
"…Any…time…now…" Leroy snored in his sleep. He was awakened by the sound of a horn. He saw that Owen had finally made it, as he collapsed to the ground.
"It took you ten and a half hours to walk three city blocks?" Trent asked him.
"That's just sad, man." DJ added.
Owen said nothing as he pulled out a pin and inserted it into the bounce house, causing it to deflate.
"How come no one thought of doing that last night?" Duncan asked as he got out. A chorus of groans were his reply.
"Wait, where's Izzy?" Leshawna asked.
Just then, the animatronic monster stomped over to them, squishing one of the trailers in the process. It gently let Izzy down to the ground.
"Thanks for the date baby," she said, "don't ever leave me, 'cause I'll find you!"
Owen glared at the monster.
"How did you manage to escape?" Duncan asked.
"Monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn't take no for an answer. Pretty crazy, I can't even tell you guys."
Leroy looked at her skeptically as Chris came out of the unharmed trailer.
"Woah," he looked at the squished trailer, "am I ever glad that I chose to wait in that trailer. It looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warm up. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward!"
Everyone cheered at this.
"It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you'll be living for the next 42 days! You will have your choice of: Trailer A," he pointed to the unharmed trailer, "or Trailer…" he looked at the destroyed one. "Yeesh. Off to the craft services tent!"
"Yeah baby, I'm starving!" Owen said.
Confessional
Owen-"My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular, hehe, avuncular."
Leroy led the contestants to the craft services tent, where a large buffet was laid out on a long table.
"Woohoo!" Owen cheered, "this is awesome!"
"Dude, this chow looks like something out of a commercial!" Geoff commented.
"Ooh, can I star!" Lindsay asked.
"Let's get this speed eating contest started!" Owen said. "On your marks, get set, COME TO PAPA!"
"No, wait-"
"What-"
It was too late, as Owen began devouring the entire buffet in ways that would be impossible for the average human. All this reminded Leroy of a song that he played, and he began singing.
You gotta eat! (Eat!)
Eat to win!
Don't let 'em gross you out! (Out!)
Don't let 'em push you down! (Down!)
Stand up tall and say you can! (YEAH!)
You gotta eat! (Eat!)
Eat to win!
Ooh, you gotta eat (Eat!)
Eat to win!
YEAH!
Leroy finished the '80s-esque song at the same time Owen finished the buffet as he laid down on the table.
Chris walked up to Owen. "Owen, the man of many appetites. How was it?"
"The turkey was a bit *burp* dry."
"Not surprising, since the food was fake!"
"Fake?!"
"Yep. Just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust and wax. It wasn't a speed eating contest. It was a contest to find the key."
"What key?" Owen burped out said key. "Oh, you mean this key?"
"That'd be the one."
"Does this mean I win?"
"Yes, yes it does."
"Alright!"
Confessional
Duncan-"Did you see that? Dude ate foam core and wax! Foam props for that bad, haha!"
Geoff-"Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was some party dude, but he really is stand-up guy! Party on!"
Harold-"I could've done that, you know. I just wasn't hungry."
Owen-"No wuh-wuh-wait, there's still one more…" (burps)
Leshawna-"You know what that boy has? Guts. Guts full of foam core and rubber. My gut's just the same."
Leroy-"I told them we shouldn't use a fake buffet to hide the key."
Chef poured a medicine formula into a glass of water as he offered it to Owen.
"Oh don't worry," Owen said, "I'm cool. My mom says I've got a gut like a goat." His stomach gurgled. "Nope, call 911."
"You're gonna need it," Chris quipped, "Since you're the winner, you get first pick of the trailers!"
The guys cheered at their victory.
Leroy led everyone back to the trailer area.
"Okay Owen," he said, "pick a trailer."
"I choose…
…
…
…the squashed one!"
"Well…then it's yours!"
At this, the guys got angry at Owen, for now that had to live in a squashed trailer for 42 days.
"What? It has more character." Owen defended.
The girls cheered, but it was cut short as the monster came back and stepped on the other trailer, squishing it as well.
"Looks like everyone's getting squashed trailer tonight." Leroy commented.
Confessional
Izzy-(laughs) "I am so over that monster!"
Later that night, Chef repaired the trailers.
"Okay everyone," Chris said, "get a good night's sleep, 'cause you've got a seriously early wake-up call! Call time is: 6 AM! Sleep quickly!"
Leroy went off to have dinner before he walked back to the trailers, where the contestants were now snoring.
Chris came out from behind the girls' trailer. "Shh, they're sleeping!" he whispered not-so-quietly." He activated a bullhorn. "THIS IS YOUR 5 AM WAKE UP CALL!"
Several loud screams came from the trailer.
"I'm only kidding, you can sleep, for now."
Chris then blew an air horn near the boy's trailer, as several earth-shaking revolting sounds ensued from it.
"That's a wrap on day one. How will Owen fare with a stomach full of foam core and sawdust? What will tomorrow hold for Gwen and Trent? Who knows what drama is in store for our cast? Well I do, but I ain't tellin'. See you next time for another thrilling episode of Total…Drama…Action! MacLean out!"
Just then, the monster roared in the background.
"Will someone please put a wrap on that monster?!"
Leroy took out a taser and zapped the monster, disabling it as it fell to the ground.
"Now where do I sleep?" Leroy asked.
"Yeah, you get a new trailer. It's at the back."
Leroy ran off so he can get some sleep.
And here, the story really begins. What will be in store this season for Leroy? Find out in the next chapter!
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