Title: Against the rules

Chapter 40: Reveal

/.\

Tracer's POV

"I've been remembering things." Amélie whispers as we cuddle close, not wanting to break the moment.

"Like what?" I whisper back, pressing my ear to her chest softly. I feel the slow and steady beat pick up slightly. Is she that affected? She surely should remember something if she's reacting like this.

"It's um… mainly you. How we got in a relationship, what we was like before, some parts of you telling me about your past and some times we had in the relationship… I remember some more about the others but it's nowhere near as much as I remember about you."

I turn my body so my head can still rest on her chest but so I can see her face with my body perpendicular to her own.

"What do you remember about me?" I ask. Nuzzling my head into her chest softly.

Her own face flushes slightly, is she embarrassed? My hand comes up to her reddened cheek.

"Awe. Do you like me?" I coo like she was a teenager with hormones jiggling around her body.

Her eyes drop as she nods, trying to hide as much embarrassment as possible. This only made me coo harder as I shift upwards to bury my face in her neck.

"You're so adorable." I say, it being muffled from the column of her neck. I feel Amélie swallow thickly as she tries to get her composure back.

I giggle softly and sit up facing her. My legs crossing as my hands grip my ankles. Her own brows furrow slightly.

"You seem happier." she states like it is impossible for me to be this happy after what just happened.

But I do see her point. I was pretty upset earlier. "You make me happy." I say to try and justify. It was true, she does make me happier.

A small smile takes over the blue woman's lips as she looks away slightly.

"You make me happy too." she whispers softly, still not looking at me. What's brought out this shy side to the usually confident Amélie?

But before I could ask the question I hear the door click open. I twist my head to see Angela stood there looking between the two of us for a moment in slight caution.

"I'm guessing you want Amélie?" I ask, starting to stand up and straighten my clothes.

"Yes. But don't go too far, I need to check you after." She says walking into the room and pulling Amélie's chair from her desk towards the bed where Amélie is laid.

Amélie sits up and grips my hand before I could move away. I look down at her and frown in confusion. What does she want now?

"We need to talk more about this." Amélie says softly, meaning her remembering things and where we stand as a pair of people.

I nod and wonder if I should do anything before I leave. Maybe something short and sweet?

I lean down and place a gentle kiss to her cheek, lingering longer than usual before standing up and pulling away from her hand and making my way to the door.

We really do need to talk about this. One second I'm all over her and the next I want to keep my distance to protect myself from getting hurt if she doesn't feel the same way as before.

Life is so fucked.

/.\

Widowmaker's POV

"I can't tell her yet." I growl at Angela, pacing in front of the wall I put some drawings on.

"Why not? She's hurting. You can't just say that you remember some things when you remember everything!" she tries scolding me like a mother would a child.

I spin on my heel and face her. "Don't you even think of telling her. You don't understand!" I yell back, letting some frustration out.

"What don't I understand?" She asks, her tone softening slightly as she sits leisurely in the chair to make it seem like a calmer environment.

I sigh heavily and move to my bed, sitting on it tiredly as my hands come up to my face and starts to try and rub some of this stress away.

"I remember her… but I don't… I don't feel the same way… I still love her but… but I can't link how I feel now to how I felt then… I feel like a different person now."

I take a moment in the quiet where Angela is thinking to try to work through my feelings.

"I think you should speak to her about this. If she knows and understands you might be able to come to an agreement to what you both want."

I nod slightly. Maybe that would be for the best.

"I'll tell Lena to come see you when I've spoken to her." Angela says, satisfied with how today went.

I nod again. I feel like doing something stupid.

/.\

Tracer's POV

As I wait for Angela, I start to draw up some designs for how to get enough energy to my particals so I can move through time to execute a blink.

Really, the hardest part is making it small and being able to harness that much energy in a small space and so it can recharge so I can use it more than the battery life.

Energy. Energy. Energy… energy… energy…

"Oh bollocks to it!" I yell slightly, how can I make an energy source so small that's dependent entirely on itself!

"Now that's an overreaction." a feminine voice I didn't recognise is behind me. I quickly twist in the chair, ready to attack.

"Who the fuck are you?" I ask at the strange woman. Her features were very confusing. She had stark white hair with stunning blue eyes and tanned/ slightly aged skin. But she looks relatively young in other senses. Like she was old but young at the same time. She wore black skinny jeans and a light blue t-shirt with no shoes at all.

"Oh, you never knew me like this did you? It's time." she says off handedly, moving to lean against the wall next to my desk, her arms and legs crossing leisurely.

"You're a woman?" Was all I had to ask, there was never any pointers to the gender of the deity.

"Yeah. It doesn't appear it in time but when I'm in this realm I look female." she says looking down at some of my work.

"Oh. Okay." I reply shortly as I try to get over the shock of her being here. She's actually come, I thought she wouldn't. I thought it was just an empty promise.

"Which part are you struggling on? The anchor?" she asks, herself moving from the wall next to the desk to place her hands on it to look through my paperwork and the different spewed parts.

"No that was easy. It's just the energy. To be able to move through time as I usually do, I need to give myself enough energy but I can't figure out how to do it without strapping a power plant to my back." I tap the pen on the desk in impatience, trying to think of the solution.

"Power plant…" Time mutters softly, her brain working as fast as it possibly can. I soon feel the pen not in my hand and look to see Time scribbling down on a sheet of paper. Drawing diagrams and annotating them then sometimes it's a block of description.

I hear light muttering from her as she tries to figure it out as she goes along, but she's too quiet for me to hear.

I hear a definite click as my door unlatches and starts to open. I twist my head to see it opening. I turn back to warn Time to leave but all that's left is the pen and paper she was writing on, her signature marrying the bottom of the sheet.

"Hello Lena. How's it coming along?" Angela asks as she steps inside of the room. Time has written down the solution to my problem.

"I feel like I'm almost there…" I whisper looking at small strings drawn on the sheet.

/.\

"So, I think you're feeling okay. Is there anything you want to tell me?" Angela asks, coming to the end of what she calls a counselling session.

"Not that I can think of." I say. I think I should keep the whole time thing to myself for now.

"Good. Amélie wants to see you by the way." Angela says as she stands up, picking up her papers.

"Where?" I raise my brows in surprise. Didn't think she wanted to get this serious.

"She said, "Where I found her this morning."" she quotes.

I nod, remembering the place I shouted out of. Maybe she wanted privacy.

Angela starts to make herself out of the room, opening the door before I say anything.

"Thank you." I say loud enough for her to hear. A small smile tickles her lips as she nods at me in respect before carrying on her walk to wherever she's due next.

I slip on my shoes and look at the information filled sheet again. I'll get back to it after this talk. It must be important if she asked for me as soon as I was fairly free.

I retrace my steps from this morning, going down hallways and up stairs and through doors.

What could she possibly want to talk about not so long from the talk we had this morning. She couldn't have already made her mind up yet could she? Maybe I should tell her to have more time to think about it.

I see her tall figure at the opening, looking out at the clear but musky from the rain today. I make my way up to her as quiet as possible, not wanting to ruin the peace.

I make it up next to her in no time. "You wanted me?" I ask as I look out, it was a better view from here, I must say.

"I need to speak to you about something." She replies, with practiced strength in her voice. She must have been out here for some time to be this shut off.

"Yeah?" I say, trying to move the conversation on. One thing I hate is when conversation stalls, I'd like it just to be spit out and be done with.

She swallowed thickly before continuing. "I remember everything."

I look at her in shock. She didn't tell me that this morning. Was she lying to me?

"I do still feel something for you… but not in the same way… I feel like a different person now than what I was before." she says, still looking out into the wilderness of the junk yard.

"Okay." I say. Looking up at her. What point is she trying to make? Does she want to be a couple to see if we can still be connected the way we used to?

"I think we should just be friends." She says with no emotion. My heart crumbles painfully as my eyes flash with pain for only a moment.

Get yourself together. It's been too long. It's just not working…. It's just… just….

I look away from her quickly. Maybe I need space from her too. Maybe it will be for the best…. Maybe…

"Lena…" A slightly pained, familiar voice starts, making my chest throb. Control it. It doesn't need to be harder than it already is.

"No. I get it. All good. No problems here." I ramble slightly as I start to retreat to the opening of the wall where my anchor stops.

Maybe this will be a good time to test this theory out.

"Lena." Amélie says with more worry as she knows this is my limit.

I start to feel my particals go wild and take Times advice. Let time for what it has to do.

I kick off the ledge into the area where I can't be held and I feel my body painfully being pulled at.

"Lena!" Amélie shouts as her hand grips my arm tightly, trying to yank me back to safety.

I snatch my arm back and dive into time, embracing it as it drags me back to the strongest pulses of my anchor.

The image quickly changes as I find myself stood in my room with the two anchors. I laugh lightly, it worked!

I might have given Amélie a heart attack but oh well.

Amélie…

She was making out with me this morning like there was no problem but now that has all changed. What changed?

No. Forget about it. She's different. I'm different. It's just been too long. Of course I still love her. But sometimes love isn't enough. Maybe it's better if we do keep a distance.

Something smacks into the door frame and I spin to look at an out of breath Amélie looking into the room with complete and utter shock.

I shake my head like nothing special happened and move to my desk. She needs to leave. My wounds are too raw to see her metaphorical salt in them.

I pick up the sheet of paper Time wrote on. It was titled "Nuclear battery" I couldn't read any more before a person I didn't want to interrupt, interrupted.

"Lena…" She says, her breath caught with only worry and sympathy lacing it.

"I'm starting to think that's the only word in your vocabulary." I state more bitterly than I intended as I pretend to read the sheet. I couldn't possibly read with her around me.

"I'm sorry if-" I quickly cut her off before she carried on.

"Nope. Nothing to be sorry for. I'm fine, you're fine. There's no reason to be feeling anything but friendship." I say, placing the sheet down and tinkering with some things that need dealing with.

"Lena…" she repeats. And for some reason, my emotions has just had enough.

"What the fuck do you want?!" I almost scream at her as I throw the tool on the desk and turn to glare at her. I don't know why I'm so angry but it felt good.

She looks taken aback and ready to speak again.

"Lena. I just want to talk." She says calmly, her hands raised in a semi defensive show.

"I think you've done enough of that today. Maybe you're right, we do need space. Now get the fuck out of mine." I say aggressively.

"I never said I wanted space, I want to be friends." She tried to defend herself.

"Bullshit. It means the same thing. As soon as you're in a relationship there's no other choice but leave it completely or continue with it. And obviously the latter is a bit of a poor shot."

Pain flashes in Amélie's eyes and I feel nothing. I don't want to feel.

"Lena… please don't do this…" she almost whimpers, trying to keep composure.

I step up close to her, our bodies almost touching. Looking up at her face, feeling absolutely nothing in my gut but the need to ignore everything in life.

"Get. Out." I say softly, but with a cautious tone in my voice.

And with that, she lowered her head and left. The last thing I remember from her face is a small tear trickling down the curve of her cheek.

/.\

AN: Amélie likes saying Lena's name.