Disclaimer: Nothing owned, but the OC Leroy.
It was another day at the abandoned film lot. But what was different about this day is that the temperature was at scorching-hot proportions. Leshawna and Heather were under an umbrella, Lindsay and Beth were sitting near the girls' trailer, and Harold was slumped the window inside the guys' trailer.
"Too hot to do anythi-ugh!" he moaned.
Confessional
Harold-"My mad skills are leeching out of me! I can feel it! My mojo isn't sweatproof!"
Leroy then arrived on the scene. He was wearing some sort of helmet, and apparently he wasn't sweating like the others.
"How come tech boy isn't bothered by this heat?" Heather asked.
Confessional
Leroy-(with his helmet on) "Wanna beat the scorching sun? Try the new LeroyTech AC Helmet! This helmet generates an invisible field around the user that blocks out the heat and provides the cold air that you need. It's easy and simple to use! See this?" (he points to a dial knob) "It even has an adjustable thermostat!" (he fiddles with the knob) "GAH! TOO COLD! TOO COLD!"
Meanwhile, Justin was sitting on a lawn chair, while Owen was fanning him.
"Can't you fan any faster?" Justin complained.
"You're hot," Owen replied, "but I'm hotter." He chuckled before fainting.
DJ was sitting on a kiddie pool while Duncan was sitting on a bench. Gwen sneezed as she sat under a tree.
"I can't be getting a cold in this heat!" she exclaimed.
"Water?" Trent offered a water bottle. "You're the only girl I'd risk catching some heinous virus from."
"That's uh, sweet Trent, thanks, it's probably just allergies." She drank from the bottle and handed it back to him."
"S'yeah. One two three four five six seven eight nine." He wiped it nine times.
Confessional
Trent-"Sweet! Think I just scored a few extra bonus points!"
Gwen-"And we're back to zero on the relationship scale. Not that anyone's counting." (her eyes widen) "I mean, besides Trent."
Chris arrived on the scene, wearing a cowboy suit and wielding two revolvers in his hands. He fired two shots in the air, startling DJ and causing Harold to hit his head on the window.
"Chris!" Beth yelled.
"My cranium!" Harold exclaimed.
"Take it easy; guns are loaded with blanks!" Chris assured as he blew on the tip of one of them, the smoke causing Harold to cough. "Least I'm pretty sure one of them is. Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're going West this week! There's a town meetin' at high noon! Be there, or I'll drive you deadbeats outta town!"
"If you're driving us outta town," Lindsay asked, "can we go to the mall?"
Leroy facepalmed.
Confessional
Leshawna-(two intern are fanning her, then her hair suddenly puffs up into an afro) "Ugh, darn humitdity! Watcha think you lookin' at? Nothin' to see here!" (one of the interns is heard laughing)
12:00 P.M., AKA High Noon
All teens arrived at the Wild West Movie set. It was so hot, that even tumbleweeds burned up.
Everyone stared at Leshawna as she walked past them. Heather snickered at her new 'hairdo'.
"I'm sorry, do you see somethin' wrong with my hair?" she questioned.
"Not from where I'm standing." Duncan remarked.
"Listen up, partners," Chris said, "In any good Western there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse."
"What about the pretty dame?" Beth asked.
"None of your beeswax! Haha, just messing with ya. They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl."
"Bar brawl. Cool." Harold said as he began pretending to fight someone. As Harold moved forward, Duncan stuck out a foot. Harold tripped on it, and stumbled into a water tub.
"Awesome reenactment, Harold," he said, "Uh, most brawls do end up with the loser in the water drop."
Confessional
Leshawna-"Back home my peeps and I look out for each other! Harold may be small and strange, but that boy is still my peep. I've got my eye on Duncan."
Harold got out of the water and shook himself dry. The water drops all splattered and instantly vaporized on Justin.
"Oh yeah, feels good." Justin said.
"Enough with the man candy," Chris yelled, "all eyes on me! Time for your first challenge! No cowboy worth spittin' at would go one day without saddle practice! Time to saddle up!"
"And here is your steed!" Leroy pointed to an old and dried-up-looking horse. It made a loud and long fart that could rival that of Owen's.
"That's the best steed we could afford?!" Chris questioned.
"You want a five-star hotel, and champagne and caviar for breakfast?!" Chef retorted, "I gotta cut somewhere!"
"It's perfect, don't change a thing!" Chris corrected.
"We could've avoided this," Leroy whispered to Harold, "if Chris didn't spend 80% of the budget on beauty products."
Confessional
Beth-"Ooh, I love horsies! Justin told me I look like one! He's so…great."
Harold-"I spent three summers at Medieval Steve's Medieval Camp. We learned to joust, ride horses, and how to look manly in tights. It's harder than it looks."
Trent-"Who says a Western has to end with a guy and his horse? This is the movies! The guy always gets the girl, meaning me."
Duncan scoffed. "You call this a challenge?" he attempted to climb onto the horse.
"Not so fast," Chris said, "you cowboys and cowbabes are gonna have to mount the steed from up there."
Everyone looked at the top of a water tower.
"Not there," Chris corrected, "Waaaaaaay up there."
Everyone shifted their gaze to an even higher diving board.
"That has got to be the second highest diving board I've ever seen." Leroy commented.
"Since the Gaffers won last week, they go first."
Heather and Harold exchanged worried looks.
"Don't worry," the host assured, "our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe."
Chef was stomping on the hand of a dangling unnamed intern, who was hanging on for dear life.
"No, no, no!" the intern screamed. Eventually, he let go and plummeted. A crash was heard below.
"Looks safe to me." Chef smirked.
"Will he be alright?" Leroy asked (he was behind Chef). The cook just shrugged.
"We won last week," Gwen stated, "why do we have to go first?"
"Because I said so. And I'm your host, Chris Mclean."
Gwen sneezed again. "Guys, I think I'm really coming down with something."
"Don't worry, we'll help you up the ladder." Duncan said.
Trent's eyes widened. "Guys, Gwen really is sick. In her condition, she'd probably fall right off the platform and land on that poor horse."
It took him a second to realize what he just said.
Confessional
Gwen-"What was that?!"
Trent-(slaps his forehead) "Stupid!"
Gwen gulped at the very high diving board. "Wish me luck." She said as she began climbing.
"We're gonna need a new team captain." Duncan remarked.
"I heard that!" she shot back.
Gwen finally reached the top of the ladder and onto the diving board. She looked down with fear.
"Break a leg, Gwen!" Trent yelled.
Confessional
Gwen-"Break a leg?! That's what Trent says to me as I'm about to plummet a hundred feet?!"
Trent-(slapping his head twice) "Stupid, stupid!"
Gwen looked down. "I can't do it!" she turned around and walked back, but she suddenly sneezed and fell. She screamed.
Confessional
Harold-(writing on a notepad) "Acceleration equals mass times the gravitational constinicational equational…not good people, not good."
Gwen screamed as she fell down. Eventually, she managed to land on the horse.
"You okay, girl?" Leshawna asked.
Gwen whimpered as she fell to the ground.
"Gwen!" Trent yelled as he rushed over to her and tried to help her up.
"Thanks. Just watch my left-OW! Arm!"
Confessional
Trent-(slaps his forehead thrice) "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
Leshawna shoved Trent aside as she help Gwen up, without hurting her arm.
"That was awesome, Gwen!" Chris said. "Gaffers: 1, Grips: You're up!"
Trent sighed. "It's not like things can get any worse." He climbed up and jumped off the board. However, his aim was badly off, and he landed rather painfully on the stake of a wooden fence, groin-first.
"Or maybe they can!" he said in a high and squeaky voice. Everyone winced.
"Glad it wasn't me." The host remarked. "Gaffers: one, Grips: zip! Harold, you're up!"
Harold screamed as he fell down from the board. He managed to land on the horse safely, however.
"Wicked!" Harold exclaimed before Duncan jumped off next and landed directly on him.
"Way to pad the saddle, Duncan!" Chris said. Harold groaned.
"Gaffers: 3, Grips: Zilch!"
"Owen, you're up!" Leroy said.
"GOODBYE SWEET WORLD!" Owen screamed as he fell down. The horse, sensing the impending danger, dodged out of the way, causing Owen to crash into the ground.
"Hey, you get back here!" Owen chased the horse.
A crash was soon heard followed by a fart.
"Nice effort, Owen my man," Chris said as the horse struggled to keep Owen up, "if horses can bend, so can the rules. Grips are now on the board with one!"
The Gaffers immediately complained soon after.
"Yeah baby, horse jumping rules!" Owen said.
"DJ, you're up!" Leroy said.
DJ cried as he used a bonnet as a parachute to try and slow his fall. However, a wind suddenly picked up and carried him away.
"Not the electrical wires!" DJ screamed as a loud "BZZZZZT!" was heard. The Killer Grips winced.
"Uh, Chris, you are gonna send someone to help DJ, right?" Leshawna asked.
Chris began to laugh.
We interrupt the fanfiction for an important announcement.
Chris was sitting behind a desk in the control room.
"Uh, what am I supposed to say again?" he asked. Leroy groaned and handed him a paper.
"We here at Total Drama Action…" he read, "care about the health and welfare of our competitors. Furthermore, no animals were hurt in the making of this show."
Back to the challenge
"Justin, you're up!" Leroy said.
Uh, says right here in page 37 of my Gluteus Maximus Modeling contract, I am forbidden from any form of jumping that might strain my uh, assets. Sorry!"
"Can't argue with the fine print," Leroy said, "although you still don't get a point. Anyways, we're running out of time, so we'll just do this by pairs. Lindsay, Beth, you're up!"
"If I go to that big beauty parlor in the sky," Lindsay said to Beth once they were on the diving board, "don't let Heather have my hair, 'kay?"
"Oh no, never!" Beth replied. "Uh, can I have your hair if you die?"
"I don't think so."
Both girl fell off, and managed to land on the horse safely. The horse however, collapsed to the ground.
"Alright, Grips and Gaffers are now tied with three each. It's up to you two," he said to Leshawna and Heather, "to break the tie! Who wants to take one for the Gaffers?"
Leshawna pushed Heather forward. "After you, teammate."
Heather responded by grabbing Leshawna and shoving her forward as well.
Both girls glared at each other as they both began to climb the ladder.
"Why is it that we have to stare at your navel all day?!" Leshawna complained as they climbed, "Put a shirt on!"
"Oh, oh, right, right, because we all love looking at those kumquats on your monkey-esque t-shirt!" Heather retorted.
"At least I have hair." Leshawna muttered as they reached the top.
"Your afro is so big, it has its own gravity."
"I'll show you grabity!" Leshawna pushed Heather off the board, but she grabbed her hand at the last second, causing both girls to plummet.
Leroy closed his eyes, ready for the impact. Except, it didn't come.
"Where'd they go?" Gwen asked.
"Not there," Chris replied, "way up there!"
Leroy looked up and saw Leshawna and Heather, both dangling by the fact that both their shorts got caught on the wind vane on top of the barn.
Leshawna's shorts were the first to tear off. She however, used her afro to land safely.
"Ha, bet you're not laughing at my hair now!" Leshawna said.
Chris however, laughed, not at her hair, but at the fact that in the process, her booty got exposed.
"Well, I guess you showed her, and by her, I mean the entire viewing audience!" Chris said.
Leshawna raised a fist in Chris' face.
"Okay, okay, you don't gotta get my dungerees all dusty! Looks like the teams are still tied at three apiece! To the next challenge for the tiebreaker, cowpokes!"
"Somebody better get me down now!" Heather yelled as everyone else walked away. "Hello? Anyone?!"
Later…
Everyone (including Heather) were standing in another area of the set, with Chris in front of them.
"The hallmark of any Western is the quick-draw cowboy showdown!" Chris said, "Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke to compete what will likely be A FIGHT TO THE DEATH! HAHA!"
Just then, Chris' cellphone rang.
"Yello…uh-uh…I see…fine." He put it down. "Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby. But a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys!"
Confessional
Trent-"If I'm gonna have any chance with Gwen, I've gotta find some way to help her out."
"The Grips pick…Owen." Trent declared.
"What?" Justin said. "You wanna use Owen for target practice? He's a guaranteed hit!"
"He is a little…large." Lindsay commented.
"I practically take up the whole road!" Owen said.
"Here's your water squirter. Leroy said. However, Owen took both squirters that Leroy held and drank all the water from them. Apparently, Owen was also wearing nothing but a hat, boots, and underwear for some reason.
"Owen! Put some pants on!" Heather said in reaction.
Confessional
Gwen-"He's throwing challenges for me again. I do not wanna win this way!"
Trent-"Finally, I think I did good. Man, girls are complicated.
"Owen!" Chris scolded. "We needed that water for the quick-draw cowboy showdown!"
"Don't look at me!" Chef replied, "I ain't luggin' anymore water in this heat!"
Owen burped. "Sorry, I was thirsty."
"Okay, new challenge!" Chris announced. "Everyone to the ranch set!"
At the ranch set
"Since Owen ruined the last competition," Chris said, "your final challenge of the day will be calf-roping."
"Where are the cute little baby cows at?" DJ asked.
"There aren't any. Grips are the cowboys, Gaffers are the cattle. If the cowboys rope the cattle, they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys, they win."
"But how do we know who's who?" Trent asked.
"Grips get to wear these stylin' cowboy hats," Leroy held up a cowboy hat, "Gaffers get to wear udders!" he held up an udder hat.
"You just had to ask." Heather scolded.
"Sorry. I bet you'd look really cute in the hat Gwen." Trent said, "Udderly adorable."
Confessional
Trent-"'Udderly' adorable? Augh, stupid, stupid! I'm totally blowing it again!"
Harold-(wearing the hat; giggles) "I have cow boobies on my head!"
Duncan-(wearing the hat as well) "Stupid million bucks."
"Would the cattle care for some hay?" Chris asked.
"Would the host care for an udder sandwich?" Duncan retorted.
"I'm good. Chef will now judge the competition! Yo, Chef!"
Chef came into the scene, this time wearing a red dress and a bonnet. The cook brought out a fan.
"Love the dress, Chefette." Chris commented.
Chef growled. He grabbed some rope Leroy was holding, and used it to tie Chris tightly to a stake.
"Maybe when I change, I'll untie you." The hulking man said as he walked away.
"I can't feel my arms!" Chris sighed. "Let the calf-roping begin."
DJ and Harold exchanged looks before running away. Beth and Trent exchanged looks as well before chasing after them, twirling their lassos.
Justin tried to rope Heather, but he missed. Beth however, was surprisingly successful in doing so.
"Where did you learn to do that?" Heather asked, down to the ground.
"Calf-roping, baton twirling, all in the twist of the wrist!" Beth replied.
Meanwhile, Justin was able to rope DJ, due to the latter just standing still.
"Heh, for a big guy, you're pretty unstable." The male model commented.
"And that's two cows down, and four more to go!" Chris announced, now having freed himself.
Lindsay tried to rope Leshawna, but she missed and roped a stake instead. However, she continued running until the rope suddenly pulled her back and tangled her in it.
"None of this would be happening," she said, "if Chris had taken me to the mall like he promised!"
"But he didn't!" Leroy yelled.
Meanwhile, Gwen and Trent walked backwards until the bumped and faced each other.
Looking at him, Gwen shrugged and raised her arms in defeat. Instead however, Trent threw the lasso to the ground.
"Aw shoot, so close!" he said.
Confessional
Gwen-"Okay, this has to stop. Why can't Trent just play fair?"
Trent-"What girl doesn't love it when a dude helps her out? Holds a door, opens a pickle jar, helps her win a million-dollar competition…"
"Can't catch me, can't catch me!" Harold ran. His pursuer was running out of breath.
"He's," Owen panted, "right! I can't…" he fell to the ground.
Meanwhile, Trent was sitting on a rock. Lindsay came by and roped him.
"Got you, cowboy!"
"Lindsay, I'm on your team. Rope the cattle, you know, the people with udders?"
Lindsay only laughed. "You're funny!"
Later, all the Grips managed to pick themselves up and chased the Gaffers, lassos twirling in their hands. The Gaffers however, came across some nearby rope. Soon, it was role reversal as the cowboys were chased by the cattle.
Gwen roped Lindsay as Duncan and Leshawna roped Trent and Beth. Owen, who stopped to catch his breath, was an easy target as Harold chased Justin.
Confessional
Justin-"I just found out I have a new neck modeling contract. Apparently I have excellent tendons." (he stretches his neck) "See, see, check it out, you like that?"
Justin stopped in terror. "Not the face, or the neck, hands, feet, legs, knees, or anything in the chestial region." He dropped and sat in the fetal position as Harold roped him.
"Gotcha! That was too easy."
"Hiya, sugar baby." Leshawna said to Harold as she roped Justin as well.
"Well, what do we have here?" Chris said. "The cattle have roped the cowboys! A bit unexpected, but what the heck? The Gaffers win!" Cheers erupted from the Screaming Gaffers.
A roped suddenly snagged Harold and pulled him away.
"Uh, hello? We're on the same team!" he said to his captor.
"What? You're gonna go all medieval camp on me?" Duncan replied.
Confessional
Harold-(completely covered in rope) "I can get out of this any time."
"You Grips are losers," Chris said, "and you know what happens to losers?" He pulled out a sizzling-hot L-shaped brand out of a fire. "Which Grip wants to take the heat?"
The rest of the Killer Grips dashed away, leaving Trent in the dust.
"Got anything in a 'G'?" he asked.
Confessional
Gwen-"G? Like for Gwen? Augh, Trent wants to brand himself with my initial! This has gone way too far."
Trent-(slaps his forehead three times) "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" (an intern come by and powders Trent's now reddish forehead) "Haha, thanks."
Chris dunked the iron brand in a cooling tub. "Legal says branding's out. Guess I have to settle for booting one of the Grips off in the most exciting Gilded Chris Ceremony ever! Now, go shower. You stink! Peeeee-yew!"
"Do I save to shower too?" Leroy asked Chris.
"No, and maybe you can one of those for me sometime." The host replied.
Later, everyone was lined up near a barrel. Harold was currently using it.
"Hurry up, Harold!" Lindsay said.
"Yeah, I have to go pee real bad!" Owen added. "Of course, I'd never go in the barrel!" he giggled nervously as Heather glared at him. "Okay, I would."
An annoyed Duncan eventually shook the barrel.
"But I haven't finished sudsing my hair!" he tipped it over completely. "Ow! Soap in my eyes!"
Confessional
Leshawna-"I'd like one good reason why that punk-haired, skull-shirted wannabe keeps picking on poor Harold!"
Duncan-"You wanna know why I pick on Harold? Here's a hint: She's about yay tall, has beautiful brown hair, and could tear you limb from limb?" (briefly cuts to static) "No, it's not a bear. It's Courtney. Harold got Courtney booted last season. Yep, payback's a-"
Leroy headed back to the film lot. There, Trent exited the washrooms, having chosen to use them rather than the barrel.
Gwen approached Trent. "What happened to bathing in a barrel like the rest of us?" she asked.
"Ah, I figured I've made enough of a fool of myself today." He replied.
"Trent, we need to talk."
"Aw, please tell me this isn't what I think it is."
"It's what you think it is."
"I told you not to tell me that."
"Trent, you're a great guy, I mean that. But this isn't working."
"Is this because I offered to brand myself with a G?"
"No. Well, yes. But it's not just that. You've got your…quirks and I've got mine. I get that. But you've been throwing challenges for me and I need to win this fair and square, okay?"
"What are you saying?"
"It's over. I'm sorry."
"I hear ya, loud and clear."
But little did they know that someone else was hiding behind the washrooms, listening in on their conversation.
"So do I." Justin said as he walked away.
Leroy saw all this, and he had a worried look on his face.
Later, Leroy arrived at the cast trailers. He saw Gwen exiting the girls' one. Just then, Justin suddenly confronted her.
Teel them what I just heard you say to Trent." Justin threatened, pointing to the Killer Grips."
"Sorry, I can't hear you," she fake-sneezed, "head cold!"
"Fine. I'll do it then. Trent's been purposely throwing our challenges for Gwen."
"No way!"
"That's so unfair!"
"Gwen would never let Trent do that, ever! Right, Gwen?"
"Depends on how…there are other ways to…augh, it's true."
Beth gasped. "You two have been cheating? How could you?! You're our friend!"
"It wasn't my fault. I wasn't in on it, I swear."
"Why should we believe you?" Justin asked.
"Because I broke up with Trent." She replied.
The rest of the Grips gasped.
"This…this whole thing could be a ruse!" Justin assumed. "Some strategy to make it to the final two!"
"Wow, beauty and brains." Owen commented.
"I wasn't in on it, I swear!"
"Prove it."
"Fine. Vote Trent off! Things have gone way too complicated between us anyway. You'd be doing me a favor!"
"Great cheery cheesecake, she's bluffing!" Owen gasped.
"We'll see about that." Justin said. "Either way, you owe us, Gwen."
She sadly nodded. Leroy, who had watched the entire spectacle, gasped.
Confessional
Leroy-(looking worried) "My word…"
At night once again, Leroy played the Gilded Chris theme as the five Grips on the bleachers cast their votes.
"The votes have been cast!" Chris announced, "If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now."
Chef walked on stage, carrying four Gilded Chrises in his hands. He was now wearing a black tuxedo with a purple bow tie.
"What happened to your dress?" Chris asked.
Chef said nothing; he just gave him an 'I'm watching you' gesture.
"And the Gilded Chris goes to…Lindsay, and Beth."
Both girls cheered as Leroy tossed half to the Gilded Chrises to them.
"Justin."
"And last but not least…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Owen."
Owen grabbed his Gilded Chris in joy and hugged Justin, but both guys soon realized what they were doing and quickly pulled apart.
"Sorry, dude."
"Sorry."
"Awkward." Leroy whispered.
"What?" Trent said. "This has to be a mistake!"
"Trent, it's time to go!" Chris announced.
"But…I can't leave without saying goodbye to Gwen!"
"Yo Chef, a little help here?"
Chef walked over, grabbed Trent, and walked away.
"GWEN!" Trent yelled as Chef tossed him into the Lame-O-Sine.
Chris slammed the door shut as the Lame-O-Sine drove away. "3:10 to Crazytown, Trent is now aboard!"
Just then, Leroy's cellphone rang.
"Yello, Leroy here…yeah…m-hmm…okay…Aftermath show?...Fine."
Leroy put down his phone.
"So they're asking me to work on this Aftermath show…" he shrugged.
The next day
Leroy put the finishing touches on the studio.
"It's perfect!" Geoff said.
"And just in time too!" Bridgette added.
"Okay, everyone in position!" Leroy said. "The show is about to start!"
This took kinda longer to make...especially since I was thinking of the ending scene since Leroy will appear on the Aftermaths as well, overseeing them.
This is all for tonight, I. M. Poik says good night!
Oh yeah, and review, too!