Ch. 17 Understanding Choices
Had two interviews this week so my schedule is out of order yet again sadly but thank you all for the support in everything that has happened the last few weeks. It feels good knowing that there's other people out there who are willing to lend a sympathetic ear and even share their own experiences when life keeps throwing curveball after curveball, back-to-back and the stress and rejection starts eating away at you.
Thanks again for all your support and patience for the last few weeks so without further ado, I give you the next installment of You Are Mine Dovahkiin!
Conquer Yourself Part Two will be the next chapter release, read bottom note for details.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, all characters belong to Bethesda. Any OC's belong to their respective creators.
In one week things had gone from bad to worse for Tullius. Not only did he have to contend with a dragon that was effectively immortal but the Thalmor were starting an arms build-up and had demanded that the Imperial Legion surrender completely for "interrupting a military exercise that was permitted under the White-Gold Concordant". Needless to say their answer was swift and to the point, AKA a big f- you, and soon the Imperial Legion began a massive recruitment drive of their own. It didn't take long before Stormcloak supporters became Legion supporters in Skyrim again and those still in hiding as Stormcloaks were rejoining the Legion in droves.
"We're showing about 25% total force strength in Skyrim but it isn't enough yet." Rikke said as she looked over the reports on the map table.
"The Legion is far behind where we need to be Legate, the Civil War forced us to split what little resources we had remaining between Cyrodil and here. That's the only reason I reluctantly let those who fought against us rejoin us." Tullius replied after a slight pause.
"General, we can't turn away help when we need it." Rikke said as Tullius growled.
"We are moving too soon for all of this Rikke. I don't even have command over my own army anymore." Tullius replied sternly.
"The dragons will more than make up for the lost manpower General." Rikke said as Tullius shook his head.
"I hope for all of our sakes you are Legate." Tullius said as he turned to the now open door.
"I have news from Cyrodil general, the Imperial Council has torn up the White-Gold Concordant in front of the Thalmor Representatives. War has officially been declared." The messenger said as Tullius's jaw almost touched the floor.
-Scene Change-
After one week Marius was still no closer to beating his specter. He had been able to last longer each time but his max now was only 8 minutes before he bit the snow. It seemed that no matter what he did, his specter was one step ahead.
"You are not heeding my words Dovahkiin." Paarthurnax said as Marius sat down again. "You must use your Thuum. I understand your pride as a joor is made of only strength and skill but you must use everything at your disposal."
"If I don't get my physical abilities up then it doesn't matter how powerful the Thuum is. I need to be able to survive her attacks and dish it out." Marius explained as Paarthurnax snorted.
"You can use the Thuum to reinforce yourself it will only be temporary but it will be enough. Did you forget your Aspect?" Paarthurnax asked as Marius shrugged.
"It doesn't really do much except give me a little more resistance from Shouts." Marius said as Paarthurnax closed his eyes in patience.
"You must unleash the full power of the Thuum Dovahkiin, you must allow it to flow freely within you and ignite your dragon soul." Paarthurnax explained but Marius wasn't convinced.
"Wouldn't that just allow the dragon in me to gain control?"
"Nid, your body is your own. He has no power unless you allow him control but it is your body hence it is ultimately up to you. You could take his power as your own but he won't be able to use it to subjugate you." Paarthrunax said as Marius grimaced.
"Alduin said that it would take over-"
"She has lied to you Dovahkiin, she lied to you to acquire your cooperation." Paarthurnax said simply as Marius sat stunned.
"What?" Marius asked slowly as he recovered from his shock.
"She lied to gain your cooperation, she played on your thoughts and emotions to get you to believe her. As much as I wish to to say otherwise she did a good thing by it." Paarthurnax said calmly as Marius exploded.
"HOW CAN YOU SAY IT WAS A GOOD THING?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I AGREED TOO?!" Marius roared. "SHE USED ME FOR HER OWN GAIN AND NOW TAMRIEL IS ABOUT TO BE PLUNGED INTO WAR AGAIN AND ALL SHE CARES IS ABOUT HER OWN RACE! SHE'S A SELF-ABSORBED SPOILED BRAT WHO THINKS THAT JUST BECAUSE HER PARENTS ARE SOME GODS IT GIVES HER THE RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS WITH NO RULES!"
"And yet you have been doing what she has asked and have been doing it well." Paarthurnax pointed out. "You have discovered one piece of the connection and you have found evidence that truly contradicts the accounts of the Akaviri and the Blades."
"That's not the point, she tricked me to follow her way and she took away my freedom of choice." Marius complained as Paarthurnax nestled on the Word Wall.
"Dovahkiin you have had a choice all along." Paarthurnax said as Marius shook his head.
"I've never had a choice in this, it was either do it or die." he responded as Paarthurnax let out a deep sigh.
"Nid, you have had a choice since you left her side. You did not have to start your quest. You could have decided to stop and turn back at any time; all you had to do was decide that you were done and slay her Dovahkiin." Paarthurnax said as Marius narrowed his eyes.
"She can't be killed her, you know that." he said as Paarthurnax mulled it over.
"True, Alduin is special when she is here but that did not stop the three warriors from claiming victory."
"They only sent her forward in time. Now she is has been back and is still wrecking havoc anywhere she goes." Marius shot back as Paarthurnax grunted.
"But you have the opportunity to change that. Sed ven nok amvit, but only one may be taken. The first is the easiest, you die. The second is you succeed and decide to slay her when she is at her weakest. The final one is defeat her and claim her as yours." Those are your only choices." Paarthurnax said as Marius mulled it over.
"Dieing doesn't sound so bad...if I actually did die." Marius said as Paarthurnax let out a short laugh.
True, Akatosh would not let you go so easily. He has been set on spoiling his daughter for a long time and you happened to be the one she wanted. Could you tell one of your children no if they asked you for something?" Paarthurnax asked as Marius put his head down.
"No I couldn't." Marius relented after a moment. "I tried when they brought that snow fox home and I just couldn't say no to letting them keep it." he finished as Paarthurnax looked at him. "Ok fine, I let them keep a Mudcrab too," another look. "And the Frostbite Spider."
"Do you understand? You always have a choice and you still have one." Paarthurnax said as Marius sighed.
"Then why does it seem like there isn't one?"
"Because you are not allowing yourself to fully see everything around you. You keep yourself fixated on one thing and never understand that you have other options available." Paarthurnax replied as Marius closed his eyes in thought for a moment.
"Is this why I can't win?" Marius asked slowly as he opened his eyes.
"Geh, that is why you haven't won. You say that you need strength and skill but you severely cripple yourself but taking away what you need." Paarthurnax replied as Marius rubbed his head.
"So I need to beat myself using everything I have because that is what it will take to beat her." Marius realized as Paarthurnax nodded.
"Once you defeat yourself then you will begin to have a deeper understanding of yourself. When you have that then the Thuum will grant you the power you need." Paarthurnax explained as Marius laughed at himself.
"I'm an idiot huh?" he asked/laughed.
"Misguided perhaps but not an idiot. Now when my apprentice returns from his hunt, I want you to throw everything you have at your specter. Do not stop until it is gone and you have stood victorious." Paarthurnax said as wings were heard coming up the mountain.
And we will cut it right here. I decided to give you all a brief interlude as to why he keeps losing and to show off what is happening as the Empire begins its preparations for war. The next chapter will be the second part of Conquer yourself with the battle between Marius and Specter Marius.
Sorry about the delayed release, I had this thing ready to go yesterday but helping move my sister out of the house took too damn long. So much shoes and clothes...How and why do you females need to have 500 outfits and 1000 pairs of shoes for one day?! One day!
Translations courtesy of Thuum . Org
Sed ven nok amvit – Three paths lie ahead