Double Trouble 24
Chapter 24 "Hearts and minds"
Sometimes I'm terrified of my heart
of its constant hunger for whatever it wants
- Poe, lyrics
"Why are you and your girlfriend here in Storybrooke?" asked Mr Gold. His tone was conversational but there was a distinct edge to it.
"I'm not sure what you mean," said Ri uncertainly.
Mr Gold swiped his hand in the air and produced a magic wand formerly belonging to a fairy, someone who had no use for it now. He turned the sparkly length this way and that, examining it with interest as though it were an object of precious value or significance.
"You can do magic," Ri realised with a sinking feeling.
"There's no reason to be afraid."
"My mother uses magic," said Ri glumly. "I don't care for it."
"I agree," Gold humoured the naive young version of his 'monster'. He tucked the wand away under the glass counter. "I try to avoid it. If you have to use magic to get what you want then it isn't really yours..."
Ri brightened slightly. "That's just what I think! I'd have to be desperate to resort to such means."
"That is rather unfortunate. You have great power inside you, Regina."
"Really?" gasped Ri, clearly enthralled by the idea.
"Oh yes, your power could rival your mother's. I taught her. I could teach you also."
Ri started to shake her head. "No... No, I don't want to be like her."
"You don't have to be. It's entirely up to you."
Gold could see he was getting through to her, seducing the young girl with the idea that perhaps she wasn't quite so powerless against her mother's control as she thought. She would easily fall under his spell. Just like last time and every other time. It must be a Mills family trait.
"You could use magic to set yourself free," hinted Gold.
"Regina has magic," murmured Ri. "But she used it for something Evil. A dark curse."
Gold pierced her with his sharp gaze. "How do you know it was Evil."
Ri hesitated. "Because that's what everyone says?"
"Power is not rendered harmless by the good intentions of its possessor. Magic corrupts all but the purest of hearts. Would the curse still be termed 'dark' if all turns out well in the end? What if it turns out better than before?"
Ri furrowed her brows in confusion. "How can that be? Regina's actions were reprehensible."
"What if a special little person's existence depended entirely on that curse?" Gold's voice became a whisper at the end, like he was revealing a secret.
"Do you mean Henry?" guessed Ri in a tiny voice of wonder. "Emma's son?"
Mr Gold stared at her for a long time with a crooked grin, light glinting off the tooth that was capped with his namesake. His silence confirmed that the boy was exactly who he meant. The jangle of the shop's door bell pierced the air suddenly and broke the spell.
"Don't heed his advice, young Regina! Whatever he tells you will be for his own ends," warned the Blue Fairy.
As the nun strode into the shop, the door seemed to hang open for a second longer than it should have before it swung closed.
Ri glanced at the woman, shrinking under the scrutiny. "It's you again. Why are you following me around?"
"You must not allow him to manipulate you. You have a good heart, now use it."
"Indeed she does," said Gold dryly, before glancing at Ri. "A kind and gentle heart. You know what you love, now go save it."
"At what cost?" posed the Blue Fairy. "The dark curse ruined more than just her."
The young girl looked hopelessly confused, caught between the two as though they were an Angel/Devil pair sitting on her shoulders giving her contradictory advice.
Ri shook her head uncertainly. "But I- he says I must do it for Henry. If that's true ..."
The Blue Fairy pressed her earnestly. "Regina, he does not have Henry's best interests in mind. It is why you are here. You must trust me on this."
"I don't see why I should. Em doesn't trust you and I trust her! Mr Gold has given me no reason to disbelieve what he says."
Blue shot a quelling glare at Gold's triumphant smirk but it was ignored. "Indeed."
Mr Gold leaned on the shop counter, shoulder-to-shoulder with Ri. He spoke to the teen out of the corner of his mouth like they were sharing a private joke. "She's a fairy, you know."
Ri's expression chilled. "Then I certainly don't trust her. That's right, isn't it? Mother says fairy magic is inferior and only causes trouble."
"It does," said Gold, menacingly. "Where was she when you needed help, hm? Getting her wings glittered?"
"I could not grant your wish, young Regina. It was out of my hands," said Blue quickly.
"I've had many wishes," confessed Ri quietly. "They were all refused."
"I had to. Your patron was killed."
"That's a lie!" cried Ri angrily. "My father said she was reassigned when he lost his title. He was very upset that I would not have the chance to make a wish."
The Blue Fairy shook her head sympathetically. "Your mother killed her for that very reason."
"NO!" said Ri, trembling. "My mother wouldn't do that. You're lying! You've been harassing me for days and now you expect me to believe that my parents lied to me?"
"I'm telling you the truth. This man," emphasized the Blue Fairy with a gesture at Gold. "Is the one who made Regina who she is. He sees the future. He wanted you for his own and when your mother chose your father, he had to find another way to corrupt your heart if not by his own blood. That was the 'gift'he bestowed upon you at birth."
"I - I don't understand," stammered Ri. She looked at Gold fearfully now too. "You did something to my heart?"
Gold shrugged casually. He rested his hands on the edge of the glass forming a wide upside-down V with his arms. "Corrupting your heart was never going to be easy. I needed a little insurance. The Terrified Heart."
"Despicable." Blue closed her eyes and shuddered. "A spell inflicting nothing but damage when cast upon an infant. His gift to you was a lifelong prison, young Regina. His insurance was to make sure the Queen's suffering would remain undiminished and drive her to seek vengeance at any cost. She was in constant pain and wanted revenge more than love. It is why you will always carry the overwhelming burden of your grief, regret, and fear. Others may feel similar pains but the intensity fades with time. Yours never will. Your heart can never forget."
Ri seemed frozen to the spot, glancing from one to the other as though she couldn't decide who to trust. Tears started to run down her cheeks and she could've even speak. It seemed plausible: she was constantly afraid of the world, she was different from other people, when she felt things she could never seem to let go … and now she finally knew why.
"You must do as I say, Regina," said Gold around clenched jaws.
"You must not trust him. Come with me," demanded the Blue Fairy.
"Oookay, that's enough of the mindfuckery," said Em in a hard voice. "If either of you speak to her like that again I will end you. Don't make the mistake of thinking I can't."
In the blink of an eye, the blonde teen visibly appeared where she had been the whole time, standing right next to Ri like a guardian.
The Blue Fairy looked surprised at young Emma's apparent use of magic. "How did you-"
Em grinned with a flinty gleam in her eye. "I'm like Houdini, yeah?"
"Nice to see you again, young lady," said Gold smoothly. "I do hope you're not here to destroy my shop this time?"
"Nice scarf, creep," snickered Em, eying the dirty-looking sheepskin around his neck. "Let's go, Ri. We're leaving."
Too quick to be noticed, Em slipped something sparkly down her jeans and grabbed Ri's hand on the way out.
Regina had her hands threaded through long blonde hair when they broke the kiss breathing hard. Her eyes were still closed and Emma pressed their foreheads together. They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice anything in the surrounding woods.
"Wow," Emma panted before laughing quietly.
Regina smiled widely and stole another kiss. "You think so?"
"Mm hm." Emma couldn't keep her grin under control. "How's your heart. Not freaking out this time?"
"I think it's training to be an Olympic gymnast," admitted Regina.
Emma groaned. "Hot. I hope you are that flexible. Are you?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Oh, hell yes."
"Maybe you'll find out," Regina teased and started kissing Emma's neck.
The blonde leaned into it and her eyes slipped closed again. "I'd better. Now?"
"In the woods?"
"No, not here. Bed?" gasped Emma.
"Wall," murmured Regina.
"Uh uh. Bench?"
"Floor."
"Floor?! Too cold."
"Your desk at the Sheriff's station."
Emma's eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"
Regina snickered at the mock-scandalised look on Emma's face. But the tables were turned on her, the blonde snaked an arm through her jacket to hold her and then drew kisses across under her jaw.
"Of course we can't agree on anything," said Regina.
"Only one solution," Emma whispered near her ear. "Try them all."
Regina's attention was jerked away suddenly and she stilled, trying to determine what it was she could sense. She patted the blonde head. "Emma, wait-"
Emma mock-whined. "Oh not again, is this the part where you-"
"Emma, get back!" Regina cried out and in one swift move pushed her away magically. Emma felt herself lift off the ground and sailed ten feet through the air and fell to the ground to land on her ass.
Emma groaned and tried to get up. She brushed the gravel off her hands and stood stiffly. She eyed Regina who was facing away from town holding her palm in the air and concentrating hard on the empty space before her.
"Ow. What the hell, Regina? This is the worst rejection yet! You gotta learn to let me down gently." Emma groused. "At least I'm not on fire I suppose."
"The border is right in front of me," Regina warned. "Don't come any closer."
"What?!"
The place where invisible border met the ground began to glow with a bright yellow light that sped off in both directions into the woods, marking the line where magic and memories were lost.
The fluorescent yellow line was still moving towards Regina as the magic flowed from her hand. It looked like the border was disintegrating or being continuously eroded and the yellow line appeared to waver and flicker like noise in an electronic signal.
"Oh god, the border's moving faster than we thought," said Emma worriedly.
"Nearly finished," muttered Regina.
Just as she completed the spell the border met her outstretched palm and branches shot out of the woods as if from nowhere to wrap around her middle and snatch her into the air.
Emma gaped in open-mouthed horror at the sight as Regina was held aloft for a few seconds and then dropped to the ground from that height. As the branches retracted into the woods, she ran over to where the slight form had fallen to the road and lay perfectly still.
"Regina!"
Em held Ri's hand, walking the crying girl away from the stupid pawn shop leaving the adults inside. The jury was still out on who was malevolent and who was benign - or perhaps the categories weren't exclusive and everyone was merely working their own agendas. Of all the places the poor girl could've gone for help, she'd ended up in the worst of them. Unbelievable.
They reached the little park that was off Main Street and Em pulled Ri over to sit her down at one of the picnic tables. Em knelt in front of her and held both of her hands in her own.
"Em, h-how," Ri sobbed. "You were there the w-whole time?"
Em smiled weakly. "I can find anyone I'm looking for. Always. I knew you were in trouble."
"I didn't n-need you," said Ri, stubbornly. "I w-was fine."
"The fuck you were!" cried Em. "Trust you to get chatted up by psychopaths, just like I said would happen. They were messing with your head. Why didn't you just leave, Ri? I could see you were getting upset and I kept waiting for you to do something and stand up for yourself. Why didn't you just tell them to get fucked?"
"I don't know." Ri sniffed wetly and swiped her cheeks impatiently. "Stop using that awful word. Mother says it's for uneducated commoners."
"Of course she does," muttered Em. "What about what you think Ri?"
Ri gulped worriedly. "I don't think that about you! Mother believes things like that, I know better."
"Then don't let your mother or anyone else overrule your thoughts. I don't care what those jerks said. You have your own mind and your own heart. Don't be afraid. You know what's right."
Ri nodded slowly, with her eyes on the ground, thinking of a little boy with his mother's eyes. Mr Gold had implied that Henry's existence was dependent on her casting the dark curse. After taking so much away from Em, separating her from her parents for decades, how could she even think of taking her son away from her too? She loved them both. The thought that Henry might never even exist alarmed her. She couldn't risk it. That was a good enough reason for her.
She had no choice.
"Thanks, Em," said Ri, in a small voice.
"Anytime," promised Em. "I will never leave you when you need saving. No matter how mad we are at each other."
Another tear rolled down Ri's cheek.
Em sighed and rose to sit next to her on the bench. She stroked Ri's cheek gently to smooth the wet trail and turned her face so that the teary brunette had to look up.
"You're gorgeous even when you're a crying mess, princess," said Em gently. She tucked a few locks of long brown hair back behind Ri's ear.
"You never told me when we met."
"Told you what?"
Ri lowered her face shyly. "Said anything about my looks. That's usually the first thing people say to me."
Ri's eyes dropped to the other girl's lips and she felt her place the pads of her fingertips above her heart. Em leaned in and pressed a soft kiss, so quickly it felt like it was over before it started.
"This is why I love you." Em kissed her forehead next. "And here."
Ri struggled for a reply, surprised by the kiss and kind words after they'd barely spoken for days without snapping at each other. But her heart's true sentiments were stuck in her throat and she was afraid of their reception. Several times she went to speak up but couldn't get it out.
Em got up and paced a few steps with her hands stuffed into her the pockets of her hoodie.
"Em? Are you-" Ri took a deep breath. "Are you ready to hear me say it?"
"Don't, Ri," pleaded Em, half turned away from her. "Please. Just - don't."
"Why?" begged Ri.
"It'll break my heart to break yours. I can't do it to you. Maybe I already have. Being with a bratty streetkid like me is a far cry from what you deserve."
Ri jumped up and grabbed Em's arm, forcing her around to face her. "Please, Em! I don't care what I deserve. All I care about is you."
"I should've known this would happen. Emma did. She knew it was just a matter of time before I broke your heart, Ri. I bet it happened with them too. It must be why they're not together."
"But what about us," said Ri hopefully. "We can be together."
"I think maybe we're running out of time. It's too late."
Ri cradled Em's face with her palm and locked their eyes. "No, Em! There could be one minute left and I'd still want to spend it with you."
Em looked away quickly and stared at the ground in steadfast concentration. "Ri, do you want kids some day?"
"Um, yes-" Ri was perplexed by the sudden topic change.
Em nodded to herself. "We can't be together. I want all of your wishes to come true. There's no happy endings for people like me. Yours is not with me."
Ri flinched like she'd been struck. "Is that - is that what you really believe, Em?"
"I want better for you."
"If you loved me you wouldn't want to keep us apart," Ri murmured. "Would you?"
Em blinked away sudden tears and scuffed her Cons on the ground. "We have to go. It's nearly 4.30. We gotta pick up the little nerdburger from the schoolbus."
"Em, be nice," Ri pleaded. "He's only a child and he just wants you to like him."
Em grumbled half-heartedly. Ri never seemed to stand up to anyone but her, as if she was the only one she wasn't afraid of. "I'm glad you're growing up, Ri. Even if you are cutting your claws on me."
Ri sniffed sadly and crinkled her brow into a fond smile. "It's 'cutting your teeth'. Not claws."
Em mock-whined. "Aw, you're gonna come at me with teeth AND claws? Who knew Ri was hiding a badass inside her. That's actually kinda hot."
Ri's gaze snapped up as the girl she loved started to walk away. She knew Em still loved her. She knew Em still wanted her. Yet the other girl was keeping them apart for some reason. There was something holding them back. She jogged a few steps to catch up and the two teenagers headed for Main street to meet Henry.
Regina felt something irritating patting her face and began to rouse. "Stop that."
"Wake up, please!"
"Uhhh. Yes, Henry, you can have chocolate for breakfast. Cupboard above the fridge," she groaned tiredly. "Mommy's not feeling well."
"Re- gi- na!" Something was shaking her shoulder and calling her name repeatedly.
She opened her eyes blearily to see a familiar irritant, staring at her with a panicky expression. "Emma, what-?"
"How many fingers am I holding up?" Emma held up two.
"Twelve-and-a-half. I'm not concussed."
Emma growled. "You're something! Are you sure you didn't hit your head? Who am I?"
"Emma Swan. Sheriff of Storybrooke, mother of my son, bane of my existence."
"Ok good. You're definitely still you. But do you remember everything?"
"How would I know if I had forgotten anything?" Regina pointed out. "I certainly remember you breaking my curse. I remember you disappearing into a portal and then climbing out of a well. I remember you accusing me of murder with the same mouth you just kissed me with."
Emma's relief was obvious and she exhaled. "Ok. You still have your memories. But what the hell was that?"
Regina raised herself on her hands with difficulty to sit on the ground and Emma was still hovering over her. The world spun for a few seconds until her vision cleared.
"The border. It's a barrier spell, like Mother used to use. She cast one around the estate before I was married to stop me from running away."
"Geezus," said Emma, shaking her head incredulously.
"Something bad happens when someone tries to leave Storybrooke," said Regina. "I can't leave either."
Emma looked her over for injuries and swore when she noticed. "Your nose is bleeding."
"It's fine."
Emma stretched her sleeve over her gloved hand and pressed it to Regina's face to soak up the trickle of blood for a few minutes. She cupped her other hand under the brunette's hair and massaged the back of her neck gently.
"It's not as bad as last time," said Emma. "Hope this isn't gonna happen too often - you bleeding all over me. I totally thought you were gonna incinerate me on the spot that day last year and that was before I knew you could. That was not long after our first kiss. Do you remember?"
Regina's voice was slightly muffled but wry. "I could hardly forget it. That was the day I realised I cared about you. It hit me right in the face."
"I wish you'd said something. Things might've been different."
Regina nodded slightly and breathed through her mouth, since Emma was still holding the bridge of her nose tightly. Maybe things would have been different if Emma had known. Perhaps they could've worked together to break the curse, without anyone getting hurt, without risking Henry. Without him they wouldn't have even met. They wouldn't be what they were now... whatever that actually was.
"I noticed you trying to look down my shirt that day," said Regina a little nasally. "That's why I wore it."
Emma rolled her eyes lightly and teased her back. "Well, I caught you checking out my ass when I was crawling up the ladder to get the damn frisbee off the roof."
"Only then? You aren't very observant. I have appreciated your form many times."
"You have?" said Emma incredulously.
"Yes." The twinkle in Regina's eyes were the only evidence of her smile since it was covered by Emma's sleeve. "How else would I have noticed your appreciation of mine? Subtlety is not your strong suit, dear."
"Me?" Emma scoffed a laugh. "Regina, you are the Queen of Not Subtle. You gatecrashed my parents' wedding to announce that you were gonna curse them all forever. Always gotta steal the show don't you?"
"Oh please, you should've seen the tantrum your mother threw on my wedding day. It was payback," Regina's voice was still nasal. Seeing Emma about to ask she followed quickly with, "Don't bother asking, I'm not telling you. Nobody puts the baby princess in the corner apparently. Not even me."
They both shared a smile and then fell into silence. They stared at the flickering yellow line ten feet away. It was still creeping steadily towards them - towards the center of town. The bubble that encased the town and preserved it's magic was shrinking.
Emma scrunched her face, grasping for the silver lining in the situation. "At least we can see the border now I guess. We know where it is and how fast it's moving. But we're miles from the town line. It must be moving faster than we thought."
"It's not moving constantly either," said Regina grimly, covering Emma's hand with her own. "It jumped towards me."
"What?" said Emma sharply.
"The border thinks I was trying to leave - or interfere with it."
Emma stared at her in alarm. "What do you mean 'the border thinks'?"
"Magic is imbued with the intentions of its possessor. You've heard the expression 'the floodgates have opened'? Once magic has been cast it can act with sentience, as though it had a mind of it's own."
Emma removed their hands from the injury and saw that the blood had stopped flowing. She sat back on her heels and sighed.
"Isn't it your magic, Regina? Why is it attacking you?"
"I think it was trying to protect me."
Emma gaped. "How is tossing you like a ragdoll protecting you?"
"It's not just my magic. There's someone else's here too, I can sense it. There's noise in the signal."
"Who's magic?"
"I don't know."
Emma shot her a look, listening carefully. "Are you sure."
"It must be -" Regina broke off suddenly and finished it in her mind, Someone who loves me.
Emma jumped up and dusted herself off with a determined look on her face.
"Emma! What are you doing?" Regina rose to her feet with effort and grabbed at the blonde's elbow before she could go any further.
"I have magic too. I got this."
"NO!" Regina pulled her back forcefully and stared her down. "Don't try to interfere with the border. I forbid you to use magic."
"That's rich, coming from you! Didn't you just use magic on the border and every other time to get something you want?"
"Emma, listen to me," growled Regina fiercely. "The border thinks it's protecting me, what do you suppose will happen if it thinks you're trying to attack it? It's going to attack YOU. Don't resort to magic, we can figure this out another way."
Emma tried to shrug it off. "Gold taught me a protection spell."
"No, Emma!" Regina cried, pulling at her arm again. "Don't use magic, especially anything he taught you. Do you think I want to see it happen to you too?"
"You're afraid that magic will corrupt me," murmured Emma, realising what she meant. "You're afraid for my heart?"
Regina covered her face with her hand since it was already feeling stuffy and sore. "Magic corrupts all but the purest of hearts. You can't risk it. Henry needs one of us to be good. Magic always comes with a price and I don't want him to pay ours."
Emma pulled the hand away and cupped it between her own, pressing a kiss to the knuckles.
"I have an idea... but first, let's get you home."