Phew, finally managed to get this out! Anyway, here we go!

Disclaimer: Do not own anything but Leroy.

Leroy went over a checklist. As of the moment, he was cutting up cereal boxes, painting them and folding them as to make them look like book covers, and gluing them to a bunch of papers containing information that he faked.

"Let's see," he said as he finished up that last one. "Fake Medical Books, check. Rig Pizza…"

He looked around in the craft services tent and made his way to the kitchen, where DJ was making pizza with Chef Hatchet.

"Leroy," the hulking man said, "another batch of it is ready."

"Okay," he said as he took the finished pizza. He went to one of the tables and took out a small bottle of itching powder and a can of laxatives. He then laced the pizza carefully with said items, making sure to hide any traces of them subtly.

"…And done!" Leroy said as he looked at his finished handiwork, before placing the fake books and the rigged pizza on a table and covering it with a tarp.

Later…

Leroy made sure that both cast trailers' doors were locked and jumped away just as the contestants arrived from the Gilded Chris Ceremony. He quietly slithered around and soon reached an ambulance. After starting it up, he quickly drove to the cast trailers, dropped off the cargo that was waiting in the back, then drove away. He headed at high speed for the lake, and jumped out in the nick of time as the ambulance fell into it, as Leroy played an air guitar in the massive explosion that followed.

Confessional

Leroy- "That thing was a huge pile of junk anyway, so I figured, why not?"

Leroy ducked back into the bushes and watched as Chris emerged from the tarp of the stretcher he dropped off.

…"I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet," Chris held up one of Leroy's fake books. "These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school. And each one of you gets one," he tossed a book to Duncan, "'cause tomorrow, we're gonna play doctor!"

Duncan rolled his eyes.

Confessional

Duncan- "I hate doctors. They just get off on telling people stuff they don't wanna hear, like 'Don't pick on that scab', or 'if you eat nothing but pickled eggs, you'll die'. Hey, don't tell me what I can't eat. Now playing doctor, playing doctor I can handle.

Harold- "I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I have plenty of hands on experience, (a hand puts makeup on him) 'cause I've contracted more than 300 known diseases, (the hand retreats) and I've been cured of nearly all of them. But there is no known vaccine for loving Leshawna."

"To win this challenge," Chris explained, "you're gonna wanna memorize the entire contents of these textbooks, by morning."

"But it's already so late!" Heather complained.

"You got that right," Chris said as a cart driven by Chef rolled in, "what med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?"

Leroy watched as Chef grabbed a stack of boxes containing his rigged pizza. Owen dropped his book and took the stack.

"Mmm, that smells good!" Owen inhaled the pizza scent.

"It's gotta be a trick." Leshawna said.

"More like method acting." Chris corrected as he jumped onto the cart. "Med school interns consume 850% more pizza than the average human. So dig in, 'cause there's plenty more where that came from!" the cart drove away.

"They don't know what they're in for." Leroy chuckled as he made his way to the craft services tent and entered the kitchen, where DJ was busy making the pizza with Chef.

"Keep 'em coming!" Chef encouraged, "I'll add the final cheesy touch!" he added what Leroy recognized as the itching powder he used earlier.

"My team will wonder where I am." DJ said, worried.

"Not as long as they're eating they won't!" Chef barked, "So hush up and spin that dough! Spin like the wind!"

After a while, DJ cooked up the last pizza and took it out of the oven.

"Okay, I think that should be more than enough." Leroy said to him, "you can go back now."

DJ wiped his brow and walked out of the kitchen.

Leroy looked at a pile of finished pizza. "Hey Chef," he asked, "is that pizza contaminated?"

Chef shook his head.

"Good, I'm starving." He dug in like there was no tomorrow.

Afterwards, fully satisfied, he went out of the kitchen and noticed that Duncan and Leshawna had walked out of the tent.

Confessional

Leroy- "Meh, their loss."

Next morning, Leroy yawned as he entered the building where all the contestants were lined up. All of them looked tired, except for Duncan and Leshawna.

"So tired." Harold moaned.

"Owie, my brain is full!" Lindsay complained.

"Oh man, nothing like a good night's sleep, am I right?" Duncan said. The rest of the contestants groaned in response and Heather made a slicing motion on her neck.

Chris rushed in through the double doors. "Morning competitors!" he greeted, "Or should I say, DOCTORS!" he brought out a bazooka and shot several reflector headbands and stethoscopes at the contestants, landing on their heads and necks respectively (except for Lindsay's, which knocked her to the ground).

"Ready for today's big challenge?" Chris asked.

"Some of us are more ready than others." Heather glared at Leshawna.

"You made your choice, I made mine!" Leshawna retorted.

"Ooh, tension, my favorite!" Chris said. "Let's take it inside." He motioned for the contestants to follow him.

Inside the room, there were two tanks filled with some gross liquid, as well as two high dive boards and two platforms, one for each team.

"Today's reward challenge is called: Visiting Hours." Chris explained. "And only one member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward."

"If only one of us gets the prize, why even bother trying to win? Duncan asked.

Leshawna sighed. "A challenge is a challenge. It's one for all and all for one."

"Yeah, but if we win, who gets to be the one?" Duncan questioned.

"The person who most directly contributes to the win." Heather responded.

Confessional

Heather- "As in, me! Duh!"

"Chris, you haven't told us what the reward is yet." Harold pointed out.

"You're very perceptive, Harold," Chris said, "Let's see if that will help you and your team assemble a cadaver!"

Lindsay gasped. "You mean like, a dead body?"

"No, I mean like, a giant dead body!" Chris answered. "These tanks contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee cord, and jump into the tank in hopes of retrieving a body part. Any parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms." He pointed to the chains holding said platforms. "Use those chains to raise them all the way to the roof, where they'll be reanimated by a blast of lightning! First team to bring a Franken-Chris to life wins!"

As if on cue, Leroy pressed a button he was holding, which made two ray gun-like devices emit a burst to electricity.

"First crack goes to the team who can tell me how to treat someone with a bean stuck up their nose!" Chris said.

Beth raised her hand. "Administer two CCs of pain meds and probe the affected area with a sterile swab."

"Correctomundo!" Chris said.

Beth went up to the bungee board and dived down into the tank. When she came back up, she was holding an eel, which predictably electrocuted her.

"What the heck was that?!" she asked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the electric eels." Chris answered. "Three zaps and you're out!"

Beth dived again, and this time, she got a metallic leg, which she passed on to Owen, who put it on the indented platform.

"Okay, next question: You're patient has an itchy red inflammation on their butt! Diagnosis?"

"Diaper rash." Heather answered. "Apply salve repeatedly to achieve humectic dispersion."

"Yes." Chris said. Heather climbed up and dived. The first two times, she got eels, but the third time she grabbed an arm and tossed it.

"Got it!" Duncan said as he deliberately shoved Harold aside and caught the body part, then stepped on his stomach as he walked away.

"Whoopsy-daisy." Duncan said.

"Gas pedal…" Harold moaned.

"Next question: Your patient's got a white tongue, red eyes, and they're oozing gooey crud! Diagnosis?"

Owen raised his hand. "I know this! Pinkus Eyecus! Treat with two rounds of flopperty jibbits!"

"Absolutely correct!" Chris said. "I messed around with some of the terms in the textbook." He whispered to the camera.

Confessional

Leroy- "How stupid are these contestants? I'm no medical expert, but 'flopperty jibbits'?" (bursts out laughing)

Owen strapped himself to the bungee and dropped down. He managed to get a leg and tossed it to Justin.

"Don't let it touch my hair!" Justin shrieked as he tossed the part to Izzy, who attached it to the platform.

"Nice work Iz-" Owen began until the rope snapped and sent him into the tank, causing the eels to shock him. "Oh come on!"

"Smells like earwax?" Chris asked.

"Pineapple-itis." DJ replied. Chris gave him a high-five.

Confessional

Leroy- (laughing)

DJ dived down. He ended up getting a couple shocks.

"Dirt between the toes?" Chris asked.

"Stick two horse feathers up the whizzbang!" Lindsay answered.

Confessional

Leroy- (Trying to hold it in) "'Horse feathers'? Horses don't have feathers! And 'whizzbang'? That's ridiculous!" (laughs, again)

Lindsay jumped down and managed to grab the lower torso of the Grip's cadaver.

One by one, more parts were getting retrieved, bringing both cadavers close to completion.

"Waka-waka two by four!" Izzy answered a question.

Owen used his stethoscope on Chris' chest. "Sissy Pants McGee!" he said, to the host's approval and shock.

Confessional

Leroy- (He isn't even visible, he's actually on the floor, laughing his heart out)

As the time passed, Leroy saw that both cadavers are nearly done.

"The Gaffers are ahead by… a head!" Chris announced.

Heather dived in next and pulled out a hand, which she tossed to Duncan, who used it to pull down Harold's pants.

"Gosh, that is so not cool!" Harold said.

"Alright, you two, separate!" Leshawna scolded. "Stop getting up in Harold's grill, okay? We win this, maybe you'll get the reward." She said to Duncan.

Leshawna walked up to Harold. "Don't let him get to you baby, he's just playin'!"

"He's lucky I didn't pull a karate move on him!" Harold leered as he did a hand chop.

"Actually, I think you, me, and Duncan could form one heck of an alliance." She suggested.

"A what? With him?!" he rebutted. "Are you nuts?!"

"I'm just trying to look out for you! Unbelievable…" she grumbled.

Confessional

Harold- "How can Leshawna even talk to Duncan?! He's a worthless punk, or my name isn't Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady the fifth!" (gasps) "Please don't tell Duncan about the Doris part!"

DJ dived in and grabbed another arm. "Last piece, coming your way!" he gave a heads up, as he tossed it to Duncan, who attached it to its place on the platform.

"The Gaffers have their cadaver!" Chris announced. "Time to start yanking some chain, and be quick about it 'cause the Grips are right behind you!"

DJ and Harold started pulling on the chain as they raised their finished cadaver.

"I got it, I got it!" Izzy yelled as she came up with their head and tossed it to Owen, who attached it to the Grips' cadaver, as Justin, Beth, and Lindsay started pulling.

"The Grips are catching up!" Leroy announced. "It's anyone's game now!"

"Agh! It's so exciting I can't take it!" Izzy exclaimed in anticipation as she bit Owen's arm just because.

"Ow! Hubba hubba…" Owen responded.

"Eew, what's this icky sore?" she asked, pointing to a red spot on Owen's arm as she felt his forehead. "Owen, you're burning up! Just like my passionate soul."

Owen suddenly burped, causing Izzy to faint. He licked the air. "Mmm, lemony!"

"Hold on," Justin stopped, "red sores, fever, lemony burps, aren't those symptoms of one of the diseases in the book?"

Lindsay shrugged.

"Page 753!" Beth blurted out, "'Mortatistical Crumples Disease'! And it's fatal!"

Leroy saw the Gaffers overhear this and drop their chain.

"Mortatistical Crumples isn't just fatal, it's highly contagious!" Heather gasped.

"Okay, looks like it's quarantine time! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!" Chris said as he ran out the double doors.

"Sorry, but I'm an inventor, not a doctor! Buh-bye!" Leroy bailed after Chris. He shut the double doors and boarded them up to block anyone from getting out.

"There's more to this disease than either team knows." Chris said to the camera.

"That's because they don't know it's fake." Leroy whispered. Both host and intern snickered as they headed for the control room to watch the onslaught footage.

At the control room

"Seriously weird," Leroy saw Duncan say on the monitor, "Owen somehow gets infected with a fatal disease?"

"I'm sure it's just a 24-hour kind of fatal," Owen said.

"Oh, you poor brave, dead man," Izzy put a hand to her forehead, "I'll find a cure, I swear!"

"Quarantine Owen, stat!" Harold ordered.

Beth quickly inflated a quarantine bubble. "Get inside before you kill us all!"

Duncan, Leshawna, and Justin hoisted up Owen and tossed him inside the bubble.

Heather shrieked. "I see another sore…on DJ!"

Leroy saw another red spot on DJ. "It's gotta be some kind of mistake!" the gentle giant flailed him arm around.

"Hey, where's the exit door on these things?" Owen asked.

"There isn't one!" Beth shouted as she inflated another bubble and Harold and Izzy tossed DJ into it.

"Uh oh…getting claustrophobic…" Owen said.

"Is that another symptom?" Lindsay wondered.

"Let me out of this crazy thing!" Owen screamed as he rolled around wildly all over the room.

"Great," Heather grumbled. "Now Owen's not only infectious, he's a deranged pinball of death!"

"We need to confirm no one else is infected." Harold suggested. "Symptoms of Mortatistical Crumples Disease include: Explosive Diarrhea…"

Lindsay's stomach grumbled as she shut the door of the nearby toilet cubicle.

"…Itchy Lips…"

"M-my lips!" Justin panicked. "They're on fire!" he scratched them until they were swollen.

"…Sudden hot flashes…"

Beth was fanning herself as she was profusely sweating.

"…Seasickness…"

Heather keeled over and barfed.

"…Speaking in tongues…"

Izzy was saying random gibberish as her pupils continually rolled upwards.

"…And temporary blindness. Anyone?" Harold finished as he looked all over the room.

"Well, that's a relief." Harold said before bumping into Izzy. "I'm blind!"

Confessional

Leshawna- "I know it's meant to be dangerous and all, but it's still a TV show. No way they'd actually let someone up and die here, am I right?"

"You'd think we would," Chris commented. "But, just imagine the ratings!"

Leroy saw that Duncan and Leshawna had placed all the apparently affected contestants on stretchers, except those inside the quarantine bubbles.

"Hehe," Leroy chuckled. "This is fun to watch."

"You said it." Chris replied.

"I'll go get some popcorn." Leroy said. He went back to his trailer for a brief moment and got some popcorn from the fridge. Afterwards, he made his way back to the control room.

"Alright, let's see what's happening." Leroy continued as he ate a piece.

He saw Owen's wild ricocheting finally come to a stop, with a whimper and a fart from Owen.

"Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee!" DJ screamed as he ran around, clutching his crotch.

"Aagh, my lips, my lips!" Justin moaned.

"Maybe they'd feel better if I pressed mine against them?" Beth suggested. "Just once, before I die?"

"To my mother," Heather wrote her will. "I leave you all my many awards and trophies." She barfed into a bucket. "To my brothers and sisters, I leave you," she wiped her mouth. "nothing. Earn it yourselves, you lazy slackers!"

Leroy noticed two contestants were missing.

"Where are Duncan and Leshawna?" he asked.

At that moment, said contestants suddenly burst through the double doors.

"How'd they get out?!" Leroy shouted in shock.

"Relax, everyone," Duncan assured onscreen. "As someone who has extensive experience with forgery," he held out a textbook, "trust me, this textbook and everything in it is a total crock! The book covers are really just old cereal boxes.

His stomach suddenly gurgled as he made a beeline for the portable toilet.

"It can't be a crock!" Harold objected. "No one's faking being sick!"

"No, but it's still a hoax." Leshawna answered. "I just went to Chef's kitchen where I found this cheese." She held out a canister.

"Uh, gee," DJ asked in an unconvincing voice, "what's in that canister I've never seen before? Parmesan?"

"No, itching powder and laxatives." Leshawna responded as she tore off the cheese label to reveal a scratching label.

"Chef?! How could he?!" DJ screamed.

"That explains the diarrhea and itchy lips." Duncan said as he exited the cubicle.

"And I'm the only one who didn't get sick, 'cause I didn't eat the pizza." Leshawna concluded.

Confessional

Leroy- "I knew I shouldn't have left those lying around!"

"But wait, what about the sores on Owen and DJ?" Beth asked.

Leshawna walked over to DJ's bubble, popped it, and took off the 'sore'. "It's just a slice of pepperoni. Brother needs to shower."

"First brother needs to pee!" DJ yelled as he dashed for the portable toilet, knocking Duncan over in the process.

"Mmm, delicious sore," Owen said as he ate the pepperoni off his arm. "Now let me out of this bubble!" he tried punching it to no avail, as he let out a fart.

Izzy brought out a needle and walked over to the bubble.

"Wait, stop, you can't-" Heather began, but it was too late, as Izzy popped the bubble setting Owen free…as well as his gas.

"Oh, fresh air, sweet, sweet air!" Owen rejoiced.

"Oh, stale air, smelly, smelly air!" Justin fanned his nose.

"I think I'm still dying." Harold moaned.

"But what about the other symptoms?" Beth questioned. "Blindness, speaking in tongues?"

Izzy cackled. "Oh my gosh, First Year Med School Syndrome! Too much studying and too little sleep can make you think you've got every disease in the book!"

Harold opened his eyes. "I can see! I can see!"

"Aw man, they ruined our surprise!" Leroy graoned. "We were gonna tell them it was all just a huge prank!"

"Oh well, looks like they busted us." Chris lamented. "Let's just go and tell them they won."

Both of them made their way to the roof of the building and dropped down on the chains.

"They must've escaped using these." Leroy muttered.

"Congratulations, Screaming Gaffers!" Chris announced. "You just won the challenge!"

The Gaffers cheered at this.

"Brilliant diagnostic skills, Duncan and Leshawna!" Chris congratulated. "Way to figure it out! And for your reward…" the host narrowed his eyes. "I knew I forgot something! Just a sec!"

Leroy and Chris ascended the chains.

"We forgot the platter!" Leroy figured as he rushed for the control room and quickly grabbed a covered platter and rushed back to drop down the chains.

"As I was saying," Chris said, "for your reward…" Leroy lifted the lid which showed five picture frames, each being connected to a certain contestant.

"That's my momma!" DJ pointed at the second-left photo.

"Ooh, and that's my best cousin!" Leshawna pointed at the second-right photo.

"Yep. One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot with your very best friend!" Chris said. "So, who's the lucky contestant?"

The Gaffers immediately began to argue amongst themselves until a loud cry interrupted them.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" Leshawna cried. "it's been so stressful, I thought I was gonna lose you! Fighting for your lives, it's just all been too much!"

"Wow, you actually do have a heart." Heather said.

"And Leshawna did solve the challenge." Duncan pointed out. "I nominate her to win the reward. All in favor?"

"I!" DJ, Harold, and Heather seconded.

"No, no, I can't believe this! You guys are so beautiful! What a generous…" she continued crying.

"Eyugh." Chris groaned in disgust. "Cleanup on aisle 2!"

Two other interns entered to carry Leshawna away.

"Thank you so much, you guys are the best!" Leshawna said as she was sent away.

Chris turned to Leroy. "Uh, can you put those parts away?" he pointed to the pieces still on the platforms.

Leroy complied as he grabbed all of them and carried them out of the studio. Along the way, he passed by the limousine that was to carry Leshawna to the spa.

"…Girl, I cannot believe you've been cryin'!" A voice that Leroy could only assume was Leshawna's cousin Leshiniqua exclaimed. "You never cry! Not even at Mr. Moneraba's funeral!"

"You nuts?" Leroy heard Leshawna say. "I was just makin' sure they'd vote me the heck outta here for the night."

"I knew it was too fooled to be true!" Leshiniqua said.

Leroy's eyes widened in shock. He let his arms drop, causing the parts he was carrying to fall to the ground. He could only look on as the limo drove away.

A certain anger has awakened deep inside him.

Oh man.

Nothing else to say, so...

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