Jesse was wedged in between the door and the frame staring at Walt, who glared at him from the Cadillac. It was quickly becoming a stand-off, except instead of the drawing of weapons, it would be down to who dared to move a muscle first. If he was wearing any sort of clothing, Jesse would have bolted from the parking lot, even with no money or idea of the town's geography. Anything would be better than facing the rage of the man in the Cadillac. It felt like they had been arguing all day to Jesse, and now that the sun had set, he just couldn't see things ending without violence. He contemplated backing into the room and slamming the door shut, but Mr. White never backed away from a confrontation. So he stood there staring back at the mean, old man while leaning his head into the door frame. Within a minute, Walt slowly opened the car door before shutting it in a slam. He was stalking towards Jesse in pace so considered it was menacing. Jesse felt himself inching backward as the man closed the distance between them. Suddenly, he found himself saying, "Hey, let's not like, lose our shit or anything. No one died, right? Everything's cool."
Walt stopped in front of him with barely a foot between them. "No, everything is not 'cool'. Get in the room."
"Whatever." Jesse was trying to remain calm, but he knew if Walt started in on him, it was going to be like fireworks exploding.
Walt bolted the door behind them, and the vibration of the slam skirted up the walls. The room had the stale smell of sex hanging in the air, and there was still a strip of condoms on the bed. As Walt turned around, Jesse was on his knees picking up the used condom and its wrapper from the floor. He tried to put it in the waste bin as casually as possible, but he felt Walt's eyes searing into him. And then, Walt started. "What miniscule region of your brain began firing to lead you to bring a prostitute into our room? Is there a defect in there that identifies the riskiest and most repulsive option available to you?"
Jesse didn't speak. He was used to Walt goading him into arguments using melodramatic insults, and he tried to let his bounce off him, but Walt continued. "How did you even find a prostitute? Did you wander to the nearest corner in just your boxers like some sort of sex criminal?"
"I didn't wander anywhere, alright? I saw her coming, and I opened the door."
"Do you have the brain of bird in that wooden head of yours? Or is it vacant, or maybe rotten?"
Jesse's voice rose, "You can shut up any time now with the barrage of insults."
"You shut the Hell up and sit down," Walt cried.
"No way man, don't tell me what to do," Jesse replied, his voice throbbing with emotion.
"You took a ridiculously stupid risk, and for what? To get your hands full? Pathetic." As he said the words, his hands were rounded, gesturing rudely. Repulsed, Jesse snapped his head back.
"Why was what I did so risky when you just went to shitting Walmart and had your face out to like, a hundred people, huh? How does that make sense?" Jesse's eyes circled around, and he thought for a moment he'd made an impact. Walt just stood still and tilted his head ever so slightly to the side.
"You're asking me why having a hooker in our room was a much stupider risk than getting supplies for us to survive, and to literally put clothes on your back?"
Jesse groaned and stepped closer to Walt as he began to yell. "You're the one who shot me, got me covered in blood, and cut my clothes off!" He let out a long grunt in aggravation.
"Oh yes, Jesse, of course. What was I thinking? Oh, wait: you were going to kill me. I saved you from yourself, Jesse. I'm still saving you."
A pregnant pause engulfed the room before something like an explosion went off in Jesse's head. He rushed forward and pushed Walt's chest with his good hand as he said, "What have you ever saved me from? Do you somehow think you're doing me a favour right now?"
Walt stood tall, and barely flinched as Jesse jostled him. "If it wasn't for me you'd still be chained up in that compound making paltry attempts to kill yourself."
Any high left in Jesse was now stamped out, and Walt's acrid words burned into his head. "You're trying to make out like I'm this pathetic, irredeemable mess but in reality that's you." Jesse's eyes widened as he gained momentum. "I'm all you have left and you can't even be nice to me."
Barely touched by his words, Walt sneered. "Be nice to you? What, would you like to get back on the bed and talk about your feelings some more? Maybe we can hold hands this time, is that more your speed?" His callousness was dripping over every word.
Jesse's heart was thumping nearly out of his chest as flashes of that afternoon's conversation visited him. A searing anger tore through his body, and he stepped forward grabbing a handful of Walt's sweater to drag him closer to his face. "I should have killed you at the compound when I had the chance." He let go with a push, causing Walt to stumble backward.
"Don't you dare put your hands on me!" Walt yelled. He grabbed Jesse's arms and launched him backward. As Jesse's tripped over his feet, he grabbed his wounded arm and swore. A recognition that the fight wasn't fair crossed Walt's face, and he was compelled to reach out a hand. In a flash, Jesse knelt down and grabbed his shoes that were laying under the table. He launched them in Walt's direction. One hit him, and the other crashed against the wall.
"You little brat," Walt said, as any modicum of sympathy stirred up seemed to dissolve. He rushed forward, but Jesse grabbed his ankles and heaved them upward. Walt managed to fall into a chair, banging his head against the table as he toppled over. Half on the chair and half the floor, Walt kicked back at Jesse aimlessly as he regained his composure.
"Serves you right asshole," Jesse bellowed. He turned away from him in disgust, and walked to the other side of the bed to sit facing the wall. Walt made it to his feet and simply stood by the bed catching his breath. Jesse dragged a pillow across the bed and sat clutching it with his teeth gritted, back still turned.
Walt started speaking in low and slow. "I should have left you there, in the compound. When Jack dragged you out in such a pitiful state I should have known then there was no hope for you."
Jesse clenched his jaw tighter before staring at Walt over his shoulder. He tossed the pillow in Walt's direction.
"Don't embarrass yourself," Walt said, as he caught the pillow. He placed it back at the head of the bed. "I should have let you rot in that place with your…friend."
The words hung in the air with a sickening heaviness that even mired Walt. Jesse's jaw hung open, and he clenched onto the closest pillow he could find.
"You were right with what you said earlier, Jesse. You are completely ruined." Jesse turned slowly to meet Walt's eyes, and Walt stared back with narrow eyes. Jesse's eyes were round and glistening, and Walt's chest puffed out in a rush a victory. Then, Jesse sunk down to the floor, flopping his head against the side of the mattress.
"That's it, fall to pieces. You are screwing up here, and you're going to get us put in jail. I refuse to spend the end of my life locked up after everything we overcame to get here."
Jesse was draped over the edge of the mattress biting his nails, staring forward, but not really looking at anything. Walt turned away, and started rifling through his spoils. He was taking out piles of clothes and throwing them to the bed before dropping some spare bills and coins on the table. "You can get dressed now, though perhaps this is your preferred state. There's food here too, but, just…do what you want." And with that, he slammed the bathroom door behind himself.
Jesse sat for a few minutes in shock. He wished he'd kept his mouth shut; he should have known Walt was merely rooting around his mind for anything he could use to hurt him. He just never thought even Walt would be that cruel. What could he expect from a vindictive murderer, Jesse thought. Still, he seemed to care only a few hours ago; Jesse had been sure of it this time. Some of the things he said, and the tenderness, he was sure it was real. He wondered how anyone could fake those things. As his eyes came back into focus, he spied the clothes on the bed. He rushed on a hoodie over a tee and jogging pants, and scooped up the couple hundred laying out on the table, stuffing it into his pockets. He needed to get lost, and so he left the room without looking back.
Walt stepped out of the bathroom with a sigh. "I'm…sorry, Jesse. I shouldn't have…" He trailed off as he saw the door swing shut. He rushed to it and plunged out, searching the lot for Jesse. He saw him across the court nearly out of sight. He couldn't yell his name, nor could he chase after him. The risk of being seen together was far too great. Walt watched him clear the corner of the motel and drift out of sight. He swore, wondering if he'd ever see him again.