Walt's words were ringing through Jesse's head as he walked for block after block. It was nearing the dead of night and the lack of street lights made the strip he walked seem uncomfortably remote. He didn't know anything about Springerville except that Walt described the town as 'pleasantly dead' and that had been why it appealed to him as a temporary hideout. It was a town slightly disengaged from the rest of the state and the country, which made it the perfect place to go unnoticed. As he passed another short block, Jesse could feel the chill of the crisp air through his hoodie. He stretched the cuffs of his hoodie past his hands to cover them and decided to veer off the main drag. He started walking down a small side street hoping to find an inviting alleyway to collapse into for a while. He could hear the words spewing from Walt's mouth in his ears over and over and they rolled his stomach into a twisted knot. The intense burn of utter humiliation lit his entire body and he felt there was no escape. Slowing to brace the wall, he turned and slid down the brown bricks until his ass was flush against the cold pavement. He shivered as he rested his head against the wall. His eyes were low but open to the darkness surrounding him and he could just see the whites of his hands peeking out of his cuffs. There was a lump in his throat that felt the size of a baseball. A few labored breaths escaped and he was fighting the sting in his eyes. He swallowed and breathed deeply with determination. This is how Walt sees you now, he thought. His mind delved down into a buried moment.

"Are you happy?" Kenny asked softly. Jesse nodded and a hand brushed his face. "I've given you everything, haven't I?" He nodded slowly again with closed eyes.

He snapped back to the brick wall and the biting air sobered him. The idea of ever seeing Walt again was overwhelming. The man witnessed it himself and he would never let him escape, Jesse thought.

Suddenly, a familiar sound was approaching him and getting louder with each step. It was the sound of cheap sandals hitting pavement at an uneven pace. It sounded just like Wendy traipsing toward him, and he wished it were her. The comfort of any familiar face other than Walt would revive him just enough to carry on. The footsteps halted and a wet cough erupted. Then, she spoke.

"Why're you sitting here?" It was Randall. She was in the same clothes from earlier and no coat.

"Just uh, nothing – just sitting." The cold air was penetrating his nose and he sniffed and rubbed it.

"I can see that. I watched you run outta your room. Had enough of Daddy for one night?" She lit a cigarette and pulled hard on it.

"Yeah, something like that…" Jesse trailed off. He couldn't decide if he wanted her to leave. Randall bent over and put a hand to his face.

Softly, she said, "Your face is cold." It was enough to make his eyes swell but she did him the favour of pretending not to notice. She grabbed his good arm and yanked him upward. "Come on," she said pulling him by the hand.

Randall closed the flimsy motel door behind them and locked the deadbolt. The room was warm and cozy but it was a mess. Cups, bags and tissues were perched across the room and there seemed to be more than few white towels piled over the tub. "Just take a seat, well on the bed. Guess there's no place else to sit."

Jesse sat on the edge of the bed feeling a sense of déjà vu from the afternoon.

"Ma is out for the night so if you wanna sleep, you can sleep."

Jesse was still hiding his hands in his hoodie. "You're here with your mom?"

Randall spun around from the table where she was fussing with plastic bags. "Yeah, is that so weird? You're here with your dad."

"Right," he nodded not wanting to blow his cover. "Where's your mom tonight?"

"She's working nights a couple towns over." Randall turned and extended a hand. "You want some of this?"

Dangling from her fingers was a dime bag of blue crystal. Jesse's insides dropped further than he thought possible. He stared at the little blue bag and willed his mind to stay in the present.

"Come on, I know you like this shit. The second I saw you I knew. Were you out looking for some? No one comes by this strip to sell. You have to walk two blocks East."

Jesse was trying with every ounce of will left in him to stay composed. He raised a hand and gestured toward the bag to get himself started. "That's uh, that blue crystal shit."

Randall snapped the bag back and dumped it on to the table before crushing it with a tube of lipstick. "This shit is so good. My Ma and I came from Alabama and as soon as we hit Texas this stuff was showing up. You couldn't always get it but the last few months have been dope for it."

Seeing her grind up the blue with enthusiasm was making him ill. Finally, she had a bunch of lines drawn out and she was beckoning him forth.

"You're my guest so you can go first," Randall said with a wide grin. She meant those words, and that made him feel worse. He rose as his mind scrambled to find a way out of this without making her suspicious.

"I don't really do that…anymore," he tried.

The the grin fell from her face and she looked at him plainly. "You're such a l'il liar." She grabbed his hoodie and pulled him closer before slipping the hand under his shirt. "Just do a little so it feels better."

He nodded as she handed him a tiny cut up straw. He leaned over the table and took a bump, closing his eyes as he inhaled. He couldn't see it happen. He backed away from the table and sat back on the bed. Within a minute the calm and euphoria swirled and he hoped he had the willpower to decline another hit. The smallest dose of crystal could be calm, blue oceans, but it was hard to stop at just one bump.

After taking her hit, she jumped on top of Jesse and started kissing him deeply. The ecstasy was overwhelming and every part of his body buzzed. The events of the night melted from his mind as his hands drifted under her skirt and he began pushing down her underwear slowly, enjoying every stroke against her ass. She threw off her top and disrobed his upper body rashly needing to feel her skin against his. She rubbed herself against him and within a moment he plunged inside her. It felt incredible and he knew it would last for ages on account of the crystal. His mind raced as they mashed into one another. Maybe he should run away with her, he thought; this made more sense than suffering humiliation after humiliation with Walt. Randall would never need to know who he was or what he'd been through.

An hour passed in this fashion. They both remained at the height of ecstasy, minds racing together and apart at once. For a moment, Randall withdrew to catch her breath. "Let's take five," she said as she giggled and stood up for water. "We can do more, it's cool. Fuck, we've got all night. Ma isn't back till at least ten in the morning. Let's do more and then we can get breakfast in the morning at the IHOP. Not that we'll be hungry but I like to have chocolate when I'm coming down. And then we can walk for a bit somewhere. There's not much here but it will be warm and the sun will feel so good on us." She stopped talking only to take another bump. She talked fast and Jesse could feel himself agreeing to everything she said. She reminded him of Wendy once again.

"Hey, it's your turn. Come on." She was pointing the straw in his direction. He tugged his pants all the way off before rising so he could walk to her. After taking his turn, he dropped to his knees to lick her.

"Oh, oh my god. Don't ever stop. Fuck. I'm so glad I'm here. This must've been why we had to leave Alabama. I was supposed to be here with you." Jesse felt the crystal compelling him to murmur in agreement as she continued, "And I don't think I want you to leave, ever. Can you stay forever?"

He hummed a yes and kept delving in between her legs. He could ravish her for hours and it still wouldn't seem like long enough. The crystal was playing him and he knew it; it just made him crave everything more and push him to take things further than they needed to go. He wanted to take her into the street, or the middle of the parking lot, and fuck her twenty different ways. He wanted to wake Walt up by fucking her against his door and he wanted to fuck her again on that bed while he watched…fuck, Jesse thought as he realized how high he was. His hands were practically digging into her thighs but she could barely feel it. The bruises tomorrow would be the only remnants.

"I want to tell you everything. Ma's a hooker but I'm not. I was just pretending before because I wanted you. I know you don't care, right?" He nodded as the adrenaline blocked any sense of relief at her admission.

"As soon as Ma left I watched your door all night, like a hawk, to see if you'd come out. And it worked, you did." She was babbling now but Jesse didn't care. Her voice sounded sweeter and more innocent with each word. "I never met a man with some depth before. I can see you got some mystery, but I don't care to know, you know? You've seen things in your life…" she cut herself off with a moan.

"You've seen things and I may have left school early, but I've seen things too…"

Jesse was squeezing and digging his hands into her thighs harder as he pulled his head away to mumble, "What?" His voice was breathy and gravelly and before she could answer he was back between her legs. His momentary lapse corked the words bleeding out of Randall's mouth and she caught herself.

"I left school and I don't miss it. I've seen more being out in the real world." She ran a hand through his hair and massaged him, pressing him in further. Just as Randall began to moan again, Jesse wrenched her hand away and pulled back. He stared up at her from his knees.

"How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen and three quarters." She ruffled his hair and tried to guide him back to her, but he threw her hand off.

"I thought you said eighteen and a half, you know, this afternoon." Like a lightning bolt, a streak of anxiety was tearing through him amplified by the meth.

"Well, it's closer to three quarters but almost like, equidistant. I love that word, don't you?"

Jesse sat back on the floor as his eyes scanned over the room. He was paranoid now and looking for anything to dispel the horrid sensation seeping into him. "Where's your ID?" The words came out full of worry.

"I don't have one. Why're you asking, what's happening?" Randall stood in front of him completely naked and confounded. Jesse's eyes worked over her up and down and he realized he was now somehow more disgusting than he was this afternoon when Walt declared him ruined. He stood up and started dressing himself thinking he should leave.

"No, no no…the crystal, it's making you think things that aren't real. You're supposed to stay."

"I'm gonna go," Jesse said as he zipped up his hoodie. Everything felt impossibly bad again and he looked to the table where a few more lines laid. He picked up the straw and railed two, grunting after the last.

Randall's face was scrunched up like she was trying to cry but couldn't. As he neared the door she stood in his way and started pushing him backward.

"Stop, stop it – alright? I need to leave."

"No, please, come on. You can't leave now," Randall pleaded.

And before he could stop himself, he started screaming angry words into her face. "If I stay, I could get arrested…for fucking rape!" It wasn't arrest that actually scared him, but the truth of what he may have done. The guilt that already imprisoned him would only be fortified. Rage was building inside him at this, and while she still pushed him back in a weak attempt to keep him from leaving the room, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall.

"Stop fucking moving. How old are you?"

"Eighteen and a half, like I told you I am." Her words were whiny and desperate.

"Stop fucking lying. How old are you?" He shook her against the wall and her head banged against it loudly. She swore and rubbed the back of her head while he moved his arm across her throat. "Tell me now how old you are."

"Stop it," she managed muffled by his arm.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he rammed her against the wall again and pressed his arm in harder. He had the urge to crush her throat with his arm; he wanted to keep it there until she was blue. He was leaning in to her harder when tears started trickling down her cheeks. She didn't gasp but he could see the fear in her eyes. He had put it there and it now frightened him. Suddenly, he backed away from her and then squeezed one of her hands as he began to apologize, but her eyes wouldn't meet his. The tears were rolling down her face and she had backed herself against the wall.

"Go, please leave," she said in shaky whisper.

He stood back from her as his own eyes filled with tears. The sight of her petrified and naked because of him was burning what was left of his soul. He opened the door to leave.

"Lock the deadbolt behind me, alright?" He said through tears. He sniffled then wiped his nose on his sleeve. She nodded but then hurried to the door pushing him out. On the other side, he heard the deadbolt click into place loudly. He took a few paces and looked back at the room. Within a moment the light went out and he turned to face the parking lot just as his high hit. He had almost forgotten railing those two blue lines. Suddenly, his body was tingling all over and his thoughts were racing toward clarity. He was staring at Walt's door from across the parking lot and knew he had no choice but to return.