Double Trouble 28
A/N: Oh em gee this was supposed to go up three days ago but life got in the way. The bank froze my accounts because of identity thieves so I've had three computers to try to disinfect of malware, oh and also no access to money. Yay. I suppose I should be flattered that my identity is worth stealing but I am miffed that they didn't turn up to do my job for me. I've got to mark assignments this weekend but I'll try to have another chapter ready soon.
Thanks for the lovely reviews for last chapter :) you guys make my day. As several people picked up the "loud and obnoxious" way of getting Regina's attention was Emma chainsawing the apple tree in 1x02 and the "something sweet" was Regina giving Emma the apple.
Chapter 28 'Call of duty'
It had been several days since the new Acting Mayor had reluctantly returned to office but the sound of protesters yelling from outside Town Hall had yet to die down.
The former Evil Queen was well-used to the peasants screaming at her from the safety of their faceless hoards, but Regina Mills had to admit that the people here were more creative with their signs and less vulgar with their slogans than they had ever been in the Enchanted Forest. She stood up behind her desk and peeked through the curtains at the brightly coloured bobbing signs:
[ Read the signs... STORYBROOKE OR STORYBROKEN? ]
[ EVIL wears a pretty face and the devil wears PRADA ]
[ Out damned despot! ]
[ Burn the witch! ]
[ PEOPLE HATE YOU ]
Well, that last one was just juvenile and not even clever. Regina rolled her eyes. The only thing that continued to surprise her was the impressive endurance that this little crowd of hecklers was displaying. They did look rather bonechilled and hungry when she strode through the parking lot to her heated office every morning with a takeaway cup of hot vanilla latte in her hand.
The Sheriff had gone ballistic when she'd found out.
"Geezus Regina, there's a line outside for your head! Where did these protesters come from?"
"The comfort of their homes and workplaces I imagine, dear," said Regina dryly, returning back to her paperwork.
"Regina! How can you be so calm? We have to do something about this!"
"A Queen does not rise from her throne to address a peasant throwing stones."
Emma made a growl of frustration. "What if Henry comes to visit you after school and sees that crap about his mother? What if one of them is a dangerous lunatic? Can't I arrest them?"
"They are merely invoking their democratic right to be a nuisance and voice their idiotic opinions in the pithiest way possible. As you keep reminding me you are a real person," Regina arched an eyebrow, "and in the real world exercising free speech is not cause for arrest."
Emma glared and gritted her teeth. "Whatever. But the second any one of them lays a hand on you or threatens you in any way I'm gonna throw their ass in a cell. I mean it, Regina," she said seriously. "This isn't a joke. If you get any threats - I don't care if it's by phone, email, or carrier pigeon - I want you to notify me immediately."
Regina softened her expression. "Emma. Thankyou, but I don't need protection. You don't need to rally the battle cry every time someone looks at me the wrong way."
"I'm worried about you," said Emma earnestly.
It wasn't the last time she'd said it and with a face so pleading and sincere that it made Regina's heart melt... but she felt that the concern was unnecessary.
That was why she hadn't told Emma about the bloody pig's heart she'd found wrapped in newspaper on her doorstep at home that morning. It had failed in its obvious intent to rattle her and she really did not have time for such nonsense. Owing to the previous Acting Mayors' collective incompetence there was a huge backlog of work waiting for her upon her return. Getting the Sheriff's office involved would only complicate matters and cause further delays.
Regina was just about to leave the window and resume her position at her desk when a hush fell over the protesters. The absence of noise caught her attention and she parted the curtains again. The sight on the impeccably manicured lawn caused her eyes to harden dangerously.
Standing apart from the protesters, holding up his own piece of cardboard, was the familiar form of a precocious little boy yelling retorts at the crowd's insults.
Her precocious little boy.
She'd been calm, cool, and detached so far. She hadn't deigned to bestow any attention on the protesters beyond what they deserved (which was none). They hadn't yet seen her get angry, they hadn't yet seen the return of the Evil Queen … but they were able to.
Regina took the fire stairs to the ground floor's side exit and pressed her speed dial number on her phone.
"Sheriff Swan? Get here now," she barked into the phone and swiftly hung up, confident that she'd be hearing the sound of police sirens in under three minutes.
The crowd outside Town Hall was too busy arguing with the child to notice her striding across the lawn towards them with a countenance seething with ice-cold fury. Her protective instinct flared immediately at the sight of them with her son.
"...but she's my Mom!" Henry yelled angrily, holding up his little cardboard. "This is the real Evil Queen!"
"Henry James Mills! What are you doing here?" said Regina sternly. "You should be at school."
Henry froze and stopped arguing, recognising what all kids instinctively know - that when your Mom uses all your names at once in that tone of voice it means you are in deep doo-doo.
Regina reached the group and grabbed Henry by the shoulder to pull him behind her, physically shielding him from their sight.
"But Mo-om!" Henry protested.
"Quiet, Henry. I don't want to hear it."
Regina faced down the small crowd with a stony expression. "Leave my son out of this. The police have been called. I suggest you disband or continue protesting peacefully without involving or otherwise endangering a child."
The closest member of the crowd was a beefy man in blue overalls with a name patch that read BOB and he had a booming voice. "We weren't doin nothin! We was just talking to yer boy there, y' Majesty. He seems to think yer not as evil as you look."
Regina smiled beatifically at the man who towered over her and likely outweighed her fourfold. "He's wrong. I am far worse."
More voices called out accompanied by jeers and cheers of agreement:
"He's not even your son!"
"We heard you were abusing him for years!"
"If you can't control your own kid, how can you control an entire town!"
Regina couldn't believe the stupidity she was hearing. "Obviously you don't have children. They don't necessarily stay where you put them."
A college-age youth lowered his sign and called out to her in a more rational way. "Why should we accept a corrupt Mayor again? This is an elected position and there was no vote."
"That is true," conceded Regina diplomatically. "I have been asked to temporarily fill the post of Acting Mayor. There will be an election."
A slender woman tossed her ankle-length plait over her shoulder and snapped her gum. "You were the one who, like, brought us to this world. You designed our identities and we're stuck with them now. I used to be royalty and now I'm, like, a hairdresser? How is that fair!"
Regina gritted her teeth. "The curse has left us with deeply complicated problems that can't be solved by rhetoric. I will be holding a press conference to address any concerns that the people of Storybrooke have so that we can move forward."
Bob folded his meaty arms across his barrel-chest. "Yer pure evil, woman, and we're not gonna believe a word. Yer should be locked up. We're not gonna stop the protest until yer listen to us and turn yerself in!"
"Given my firm grip on reality and my intolerance of utter blather that seems unlikely," said Regina in a dismissive tone.
The whoop of police sirens interrupted and Emma was out of the cruiser in seconds, leaving the door swinging.
"Hi Emma," Henry called out happily.
"Henry, get in the car. Now," Emma commanded, without taking her eyes off the crowd.
The boy ran past as Emma came to stand next to Regina, posturing so that her badge and gun were both highly visible.
"Is there a problem here, Madam Mayor?"
"Howdy Sheriff," said Bob in what he thought was a polite voice. "We was just explainin' to the Mayor here that we know she's still an evil witch."
Emma glared at Regina as if to say 'I told you so' and then faced the crowd with her palms up.
"Alright, I've had enough of this. All of you get back up there near the road. I can't stop you protesting but you're not doing it on the premises and interfering with Town business. And," Emma shot Regina a quick look, "when I find out which one of you has been dumping bloody hearts on her doorstep every morning I'm gonna slap a restraining order on your ass. Now, move it!"
The crowd finally dispersed and Emma let out a breath, facing Regina with concern.
"You alright," asked Emma gruffly.
"I'm fine, Sheriff. I appreciate the hasty response time."
"I'm glad you called me before anything happened to you. Or Henry."
Regina shook her head grimly. "I didn't call you for our safety. I called you to protect theirs. They were in danger from me."
"Oh god," Emma said under her breath. "Those idiots are lucky you've changed. But you still should've told me about the hearts."
Regina bent over to retrieve the small rectangle of cardboard that had fallen out of Henry's hands. She turned it over and recognised it immediately, feeling a painful-but-pleasant clenching in her chest. It was a old photo of the two of them: Regina standing by the nursery window with a tiny baby boy wrapped in a blue blanket in her arms.
"I'll take Henry back to school," said Emma firmly. "He's grounded for the next century. Or two."
"Tell him I love him."
"Nooo Regina, don't be going soft now or I'm gonna have to start being the responsible one. Being the discipliner would make me a total hypocrite given all the trouble I got into as a kid."
"That's not a word. It's 'disciplinarian'."
Emma cocked an eyebrow. "You're not the least bit angry?"
"Not at Henry. I wasn't aware that our son had an interest in politics," said Regina simply.
"What are you talking about. He's too smart for his own good. He's your son," scoffed Emma. "Of course he's gonna turn up here and defend you."
"He has a hero-complex. Like his mother," teased Regina, lowering her husky voice. "Who incidentally looked incredibly handsome displaying that tough-gruff Sheriff act and thrusting out her chest so that everyone could see the shiny badge of authority. You take 'protect and serve' very seriously, don't you."
"When it comes to my family I do." Emma licked her lips. "I really want to kiss you right now, but they're watching. They can see from the road."
"If it wouldn't lose me the election and traumatise my son for life I'd throw you down on the lawn right now and have my way with you, Sheriff."
Emma groaned softly at the images she now had in her mind. "I take it back. You haven't changed a bit. You are an evil, evil woman."
"Yes dear, it's right there in my name. Later," said Regina, before heading back to her office with a smile. She sent a little wave to Henry sitting in the police cruiser on the way.
"Em, squeeze your thighs a little more," said Ri.
"I don't know what I'm doing," said Em, frustrated that she couldn't get it right.
"Keep your back straight but don't tense so much. Let yourself adjust with the movement."
"I feel like I'm gonna fall off!"
Ri smiled up at her and held the reins as she walked the pony around the paddock. "You won't. You're doing fine for a beginner."
"This is harder than it looks," grumbled Em. "I bet my horse is getting bored with me."
Ri had asked Mary Margaret to drop them both off at the stables so they could go riding. Or rather, so that she could teach Em a few basics and then go for a proper ride herself. She'd picked out an older gentle pony for Em who had never ridden before. A concept that Ri found hard to imagine since she'd been sat on a horse for the first time not long after she'd learned to walk and it was equally as natural to her.
"I'm gonna have a sore ass tomorrow aren't I," said Em ruefully.
Ri giggled. "Most probably. You don't have a natural seat I'm afraid."
"Did you just insult my ass? I'd be more convinced if you weren't blushing, Ri."
"You do look nice in those jeans."
"Oh just you wait till I get back on the ground..."
"Promises are easily made. Em, concentrate on what you're doing first. You're lucky the pony knows what she's doing otherwise she'd be hopelessly confused."
When Em had had enough of her basic riding instruction, Ri helped her down by catching her around the waist as she slid to the ground. The blonde teen went off to wait to the side of the paddock while Ri brought out the horse that she was going to ride.
Em's jaw dropped open when she noticed the petite brunette leading an enormous black stallion out of the stables. The horse was so tall that Ri would hardly be able to see over him, his coat shone like obsidian and he had a bold look in his coal-black eye that spoke of unpredictability and willfulness.
Em called out. "Holy shit, Ri! You're going to ride THAT? He's a monster."
Ri sent her a confident look. "Don't judge a horse before you have been introduced. His name is Blaze."
Em raised an eyebrow. "You want me to meet a horse?"
When they neared Em, the stallion stopped when Ri did and shook his head with a snort, causing his black mane to toss. Ri held the back of her hand to the horse's nose so he could smell it. "See? We're friends now."
Em chuckled. "Ri, that thing looks like it could eat you. In one bite."
Ri stroked the horse's head. "Don't listen to a word she says, Blaze. You and I are going to have some fun and then we'll come back and take my wussy girlfriend for a slow trot."
Em laughed. "Ohhh burn. Ok Little Miss Horse Whisperer, we'll see who gets devoured by the Horse from Hell and who doesn't. Have fun."
After that, Em knocked about at the stables on her own for a while while Ri was out riding Blaze. She didn't mind waiting though - the look of pure joy and excitement on Ri's face before she'd swung herself smoothly into the saddle and raced off was enjoyment enough for her.
Em pushed her glasses higher up her nose and squinted into the distance at a small black form racing away as far as she could see.
"Hello." A tall handsome youth a little older than her appeared at her side and leaned on the wooden palings. "Is she alright?"
Em gave him a nonchalant shrug. "Yeah. She's awesome at riding."
"I'm glad." The boy smiled. "She came off badly once. It's good to see her happy again."
Em thought that was strange. Surely Ri was too good to fall off a horse... but what did she know about riding? And Ri did seem to have a fondness for spirited beasts like Blaze out there. How did this guy know who Ri was anyways?
"Uh do you know Regina or something? Do you work at the stables," asked Em, eyeing his riding attire. "They told us no-one else would be here."
The boy didn't answer, he merely kept a knowing gaze on the horizon. He pointed to the rise on the far side of the field beyond the trees. "There's a nice place for a picnic over there. It's fairly secluded. Very romantic. Especially if you don't have to be home in time for tea."
The youth walked away with a wink.
"Yeah ok, thanks. See ya," Em mumbled awkwardly.
Em watched Ri fussing about with the picnic basket and laying out the tartan blanket meticulously on the ground. Instead of the pastel confections from Mary Margaret's wardrobe that she'd been wearing lately, today Ri was dressed in the riding clothes she'd appeared in. Ri continued smoothing the blanket out with her hand and pouted when the woolen folds wouldn't lay flat on the uneven grass. She was too cute sometimes.
"You gonna have it perfect anytime soon?" teased Em. "I'm starving."
Ri scrunched her nose at her good-naturedly. "You're always starving."
Em looked into the distance innocently and kicked the edge of the blanket with the toe of her Cons, deliberately messing it up.
"Em!" Ri chastised exasperatedly. "Alright, sit down or I'll send you out there with the horses."
True to Ri's word and the recommendation of the boy who Em had seen earlier, the two girls had gone for a slow trot, heading for the far rise of the field so they could have the lunch they'd brought. Their horses - Blaze and Em's sandy-coloured pony - were standing off a-ways, waiting for them and occasionally nibbling at the grass below.
Em crossed her legs under her and made a grab for the Granny's takeaway parcels in the basket. "Okay. What've we got? Chocolate tart, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate eclair ... yup those are all mine obviously... and apple pie for little Ri with whipped cream too … yum-yum-yum ooh what should we get into first?"
Ri laughed. "Em! Those are desserts. Here, have your sandwich first."
Em sighed, pulling at the lettuce poking out the side. "You are way too sensible, Ri. Clearly I have failed in my attempts to lead you astray."
"I hope you learn to eat some healthy greens when you are with child, Em," teased Ri.
"Mmgh," Em grumbled.
"Is something bothering you?" said Ri with quiet concern.
Em shrugged and kept her eyes fixed on the untouched sandwich in her hands.
"You can tell me anything, Em."
"It's um - it's about our kid."
Ri smiled. "I like the sound of that. Our child."
Em looked up at her painfully and her worries tumbled out. "Ri, I dunno if I can do it. I can't - I don't want to have a kid yet. I'm only seventeen. And I don't know if I can give him up. But I also can't bear the thought of hurting you. I want you to be a Mommy. I really do. I want us to be a family one day but I don't want to be alone for so long. I don't know what to do!"
Ri leaned over to drop a gentle kiss on Em's cheek. "Do you remember what you told me when I was worried about the curse? You said 'Try not to worry about it until it's your time'. You are not Emma yet."
Em sighed. "Yeah, I'll try."
The girls settled in comfortably and shared the picnic treats. After the chore of eating the healthy stuff was over, Em happily descended upon the desserts. The two girls ended up sharing all of the treats, licking and sucking chocolate or cream off of each other's sticky fingers or mouths and generally making a big mess of it.
When neither of them could eat another bite, Em laid back on the blanket and pulled Ri down next to her so that she could snuggle up against her.
"I'm so full," groaned Em.
Ri laid her palm on Em's lower stomach and smiled shyly. "Thankyou. For my baby."
"Yeah, the kid's gonna be in there one day isn't he? Gross." Em blushed out of embarrassment.
Ri frowned and poked the blonde's ribs playfully. "It is not gross, Em. It's beautiful."
"Nah, it's totally gross, I've seen it in movies. The kid's a nerd, bet he comes out with a big head. And goopy."
Ri grimaced slightly. "True. I saw a foal being born once. Father took me to the stables. It was the middle of the night, otherwise Mother would've forbidden it if she'd known."
"Eww childbirth! I am so freaked out. You totally owe me hot chocolates for the rest of my life, Ri."
Ri pursed her lips in a smile. "I suppose I could accommodate that. You are often cold, Em, and you do have a habit of forgetting your jacket. I'll just have to warm you up whenever you get cold."
"Yes you will."
"This is a little strange to me."
"What's strange? Apart from the whole thing."
"I always imagined that I'd be the one who had the babies. After I got married I mean. Mother says I should be married already at my age but somehow I still don't feel ready for all of that. I wasn't expecting to ever fall in love. And certainly not with a girl."
Em grinned. "Surprises are nice sometimes. I didn't think I'd ever have a kid. Now I'm gonna be your broodmare."
Ri rolled over on her elbow to hover above the girl who would one day be the mother of her child. Staring into Em's startling green eyes the whole time, she ran the back of her knuckles down the pale cheek and then switched to playing with little wisps of blonde hair that had escaped the other girl's messy ponytail. Sometimes he looks just like her...
"What," whispered Em, wondering why she was being studied so intently.
"You are so beautiful, Em."
Ri leaned in to kiss her deeply, and though neither of them knew it then, it would be the last such kiss for a long time.