Leroy walked across the film lot, and took a deep breath of morning air.
"Ahh, mornings," Leroy said, "I love this time of day. The sun is shining, the air is quiet, the birds are chirping," a couple flew past him as he said that, "I feel like nothing can topple me over today."
Just then, several blurs ran right past him, sending him to the ground.
"…Except maybe the Morning Washroom Rush." Leroy added. He then realized something. "Wait!" he ran after the contestants into the washroom.
"I forgot to tell you that there's only one toilet available today." He said as soon as he caught up with them. "The others are outta order."
"This crazy bargain-basement show doesn't even have a plunger?!" Heather complained.
"We're kinda tight on money." Leroy explained. "Chris blew most of the show's budget on his ludicrous supply of hair gel and other beauty products."
"I'd have to be crazy myself to give up this primo spot." Leshawna said, pointing to the one seemingly available stall. "Crazy with niceness! Duncan, honey, you take it."
"Nice try, but you lied to us," Duncan replied, "and I never mess with liars."
"Or with mouthwash!" Leshawna replied, covering her nose. "I got one word for you, snakebreath: rinse-a-mint! Harold baby, would you like my spot?"
"Hecks yeah!" Harold replied.
"Figures, taking a bribe." Duncan commented.
"I owe two bribes!" Harold retorted.
"Then what's with letting Leshawna suck up to you? As far as I'm concerned, she's off the team."
"Except that the team needs her!" Harold argued. "Thank you for giving me your spot, Leshawna, my valued and somewhat untrustworthy teammate."
Harold opened the door, only to find Owen occupying the stall.
"Owen, what are you doing?!" Harold screamed.
"It's not about what I'm doing," Owen replied, "it's about what I'm not doing."
"Pipe's a little backed up?" Harold asked.
"Who knew I diet of blended corned beef and cheese puff shakes could stop my whole system?!"
"Woah, how long have you been in there?" Leroy asked.
"A couple hours, I think I lost count."
"Make way, coming through!" Chef barreled into the washroom.
"Chef, a little privacy?" Owen complained. "I'm trying to poop-a-doop here!"
"Doctors orders, I've got the cure for your no-can-do-do right here!" Chef offered Owen a bubbling smoothie, but he rejected it.
"That isn't even food-esque!" Owen complained.
"Don't push, kid," Chef warned, "they're making me serve you on account of my bad behavior."
"Give it here," Leshawna took the smoothie. "I've been starving half to death since DJ left!" she slurped it all down.
"Girl's gonna feel that." Chef commented.
"My, my, who knew that liquid bran could be so tasty!" Leshawna then burped out bubbles. "Even on the return trip!"
Leroy had a bewildered expression on his face. "Oh dear…"
Owen zipped up his shorts. "I see that my work here is done, but I never even got started…" he walked out the door.
Leroy looked around. "Well, if any of you have nothing better to do, you can follow Owen out and report for your next challenge."
Confessional
Leroy – "Man, that 'blendie' idea of Owen's really went south. And Leshawna really wasn't supposed to drink those bran smoothies." (shakes head) "This isn't good for either of them."
Sometime later, everyone was outside the craft services tent where Chris and Chef were waiting for them. The former was wearing an army helmet, the latter wearing military gear.
"Today, we're all about war movies," Chris announced, "so, look lively, you-"
"-buckets of horse do-do!" Chef added.
"So get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you-"
"-disgusting slimy crustaceans!"
"Move it, privates!" Chris ordered. "Fall in!"
"Sir yes sir!" the contestants replied.
Confessional
Duncan – "I've always wanted to be a marine. They're rough, tough, they wear boots, and they say 'Hoo-ah'! No clue what that means, but it sounds so cool. Hoo-ah!"
As per Chris' orders, Leroy fetched blindfolds from the craft services tent and blindfolded each of the contestants. Afterwards, he led them to what was believed as the inside of a plane.
"Okay people, remove your blindfolds!" The contestants did just that and saw their surroundings.
"When it comes to making a war movie," Chris explained, "jumping out of a plane is the most dangerous stunt there is!" He opened the door and a trunk full of parachutes. "So naturally, it's our first challenge!"
Everyone gasped. Leroy smirked, knowing the actual truth.
"If we live," Lindsay shouted to Beth, "I was thinking, I should totally be our team's admiral!"
"Admirals are in charge of sailors!" Beth corrected. "Generals are in charge of soldiers, generally!"
"But 'Admiral' sounds cuter!" Lindsay said. "So now I'd like to be called 'Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness', okay?"
Justin sat down between them. "Beth, Lindsay," he addressed, "I wanna propose something, but don't get excited, it's not marriage!" he chuckled for a moment. "Uh, anywho, it's a long way from the airplane to the ground below-"
"Three Kilometers, to be exact." Beth added.
"Wouldn't know, math is for ugly people. Here's the deal: I need you two to jump before me in case I need a soft place to land, okay?" Justin proposed.
The girls shot a skeptical look at him in response.
"Now you girls know I don't wink these eyelashes at just anybody!"
Still nothing.
"Nothing? When were you last eye exams?"
"Drop zone approaching!" Chris announced. "Form a line, it's time to par-tay! Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute. Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part: jumping!"
"Are you sure that's a good idea?!" Harold shouted.
"What's the worst that could happen?!"
"We die?" Owen answered.
"I know! Hilarious!" Chris cackled. "Time to jump!"
"There's only one way off this big old silverbird," Izzy said to Owen, "and it's through that door! Let's dance!" She struggled as she tried to push him out. "Come on, it's not that scary!"
"Hello," Owen called out. "Crazy girl's pushing me off an airplane, and I don't have a parachute lesson yet!"
Chris got off his cellphone. "That's okay. I just spoke to our research department; there were no parachutes in World War I!"
"So, what do we do for a challenge?" Heather questioned.
"Simple!" Chris answered by kicking the parachutes out the door. Everyone gasped.
"Woohoo!" Izzy cheered. "Tell my pet rock I love herrrrrr!" she screamed as she jumped out the door.
"You're next, Private No-can-poop!" Chris addressed Owen.
"For the love of everything deep-fried," Owen exclaimed, "don't ask me to do this!"
"If you won't do it for me," Chris replied, "maybe you'll do it for a corned beef blendie!" He held out a tumbler. "Fetch, boy!"
He tossed the tumbler out the door, and Owen immediately followed. Due to this, the plane tilted, and the remaining contestants fell out the door.
Leroy, meanwhile, was fiddling around with his Intern's Eye. "Um, Chris," he approached, "there were parachutes in World War I. Says so here," he handed over the tablet device.
Chris skimmed over the info, before dialing a number on his cellphone. "Research department, who came up with the info about there being no parachutes in World War I?" Voices were heard on the other side. "Well, he's fired!"
Leroy looked out the door, and saw the inside of a studio. Truth is (which he knew the whole time), was that the plane was just a setting prop, and there was a huge mattress where all the contestants landed, with a sky backdrop and Chef operating two giant fans to emulate a wind effect.
"Let's roll, soldiers!" The host announced. "Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds, and everything else within a 50-foot radius!"
Leroy led the contestants out to an open field, where Chef pulled off a tarp to reveal several grenades, missiles, and the like.
"Are those…paint bombs?" Lindsay asked as Izzy eyed the bombs excitedly.
"We've divided the camp into two halves," Chris announced, "most creative and controlled splatter wins!"
Confessional
Leroy- "Wanna make your own paint explosions? Now you can, with the new LeroyTech Paint Bomb!" (holds up one of said paint bombs) "Just one of these things can cover huge distances in paint, but thankfully are not harmful! But they are pretty sensitive, so handle with care!" (he immediately loses his grip on the paint bomb, dropping it, which causes it to explode and cover the entire room, himself included, in paint. He then blinks twice)
"Time's up!" Chris said to the Killer Grips. "Uh-oh, looks like you didn't even get started!"
Currently, said team didn't seem to have made any progress- Beth was fruitlessly trying to motivate Owen and dragging him by the foot, Lindsay was wearing an admiral uniform, and Justin had his shirt off, again.
"Not so fast, Senor Chris!" Izzy suddenly exclaimed. Leroy looked and saw that she had covered a bunker in paint bombs.
"Woah, now that's what I call thorough." Chris commented.
"Izzy, what did you do?!" Owen exclaimed.
"I didn't do it, Big O!" Izzy exclaimed. "It was my friend, Explosivo! Explosivo is loco for boom-boom!" she cackled.
"Okay…" Leroy said, clearly weirded out. "I'll go check on the Gaffers then."
"Are you ready?" Leroy asked them. Duncan nodded.
Chris then handed Duncan a detonator. "Time for a little punk rock!" The latter said as he pushed the trigger.
Explosions went off around the Gaffer area, splattering paint everywhere. Leroy noticed however, that the paint bombs were placed in such a way that the paint explosion ended up creating a giant skull pattern. Seeing the end result, Leroy clapped.
"And who says vandalism doesn't pay?" Chris commented.
Harold approached Duncan. "As much as it pains me to pay so, you did good, Duncan."
"Yeah, no kidding." Duncan thrust a finger to Harold's chest. "This is my world you're living in, dork boy."
Harold could only growl in response.
Leroy then walked over to the Grips and handed Izzy their detonator.
"Are we ready to blow it up?" Chris asked.
"Si, si! Explosivo is ready!" 'Explosivo' replied. "Unos, dos, boom-boom!"
As soon as 'Explosivo' pushed the trigger, everyone covered their ears, and in Leroy's case, backed away several steps. However, everyone was surprised when seemingly nothing happened.
"Well, folks," Chris said. "Looks like we're having some technical dif-"
BOOM.
The massive explosion shattered the wall protecting the Grips, covering the entire team (and Chris) in paint.
Izzy cackled. "Explosivo is one crazy hombre!"
Leroy looked and saw the big crater left in the wake of Izzy's explosives.
"Explosive? Yes." Chris said, annoyed. "Creative and controlled? Not so much! The Gaffers are victorious!"
Said team cheered as Chef wheeled over a large, red trunk.
"It is my honor to present your prize: The Big Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets!" Leroy lifted said trunk and placed it before the team.
"You'll be defending it with your very lives, when we return to more Total...Drama...Action!" Chris announced.
"Okay people, take a break!" Leroy instructed. "We got a couple hours before the next challenge starts! Killer Grips, I expect you to have cleaned yourselves off by then."
Sometime after, Leroy was sitting on a chair as he watched the contestants on break. One thing in particular caught his eye: Chef offering Owen another bran smoothie, only for him to reject it and Leshawna drinking it instead.
"This is not gonna end well…" Leroy facepalmed.
"Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge!" Chris arrived with the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets. "It's a giant game of Capture the Flag, except in this case, the 'flag' is the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets! There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk, and that's to win the challenge! As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote, and a peek inside, but be ready, the secrets inside will blow your brains to bits!"
"I need my brain!" Harold objected.
"Not to worry, a roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the grey matter back together." Chris falsely assured.
He then led them to a tarp-covered object. "Gaffers, this is your base camp. Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities, but they went to see a movie instead, so we're gonna give you this!"
Chef pulled off the tarp, revealing a decrepit-looking shed.
"I think it's a tool shed." Chris said. As if on cue, the shed trembled and collapsed.
"Was a tool shed." Chris corrected. "Good luck!"
"Listen up," Leroy announced. "You've got fifteen minutes. If the Gaffers still have the trunk by then, they win. If the Grips steal the trunk within the allotted time, they win! And…start!" Leroy took out a timer, set and started it.
"How are we gonna defend this big ol' Trunk of Secrets with no fort?" Leshawna asked.
"We'll put our heads together and come up with a group plan." Harold suggested.
"You do whatever you want," Duncan said, "I'm gonna set some booby traps."
Confessional
Harold- "He said 'booby'!"
"Hey Leroy," Harold asked. "Do you have any shovels?"
"In the prop pile." Leroy directed. Harold grabbed two shovels from the pile.
"In First World War movies, they always have underground hiding places." Harold explained as he handed one shovel to Heather. "Fox holes!"
"If I'm diggin'," Leshawna remarked, "we're gonna have to call it a foxy hole!"
A few seconds of silence passed. "I don't get it." Leroy commented. Leshawna and Heather just started digging.
"Duncan? The rest of us agreed on an actual plan!" Harold called out to Duncan, who was busy setting a trap. "If you wouldn't mind, we could use a little help!"
"If you wouldn't mind, I could use a little of you shutting your useless pie hole" Duncan rebuked. "I'm busy!"
Confessional
Harold- "I have had it with Duncan! I've been giving my all since day one, then Mr. Too-cool-to-care suddenly wakes up, and everyone falls all over him! He might be standing tall after that first challenge, but the taller the mohawk, the harder it falls!"
Leroy had taken out his Intern's eye once again and sent out a camera to watch the Killer Grips. When the feed came online, Lindsay was shown looking through a pair of binoculars.
"Admiral, what's going on?" Beth asked.
"Well, Duncan sorta like, disappeared." Lindsay replied, "and the rest of them are digging a hole for some weird reason."
"I recommend we attack immediately!" Beth suggested.
"Team," Lindsay addressed, "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness says it's time we attack!"
"Uh, first, Admiral Lindsay," Izzy piped up, "a suggestion from, um, Explosivo: He says we make a Trojan Taco!"
"Ooh, I love Mexican food!" Lindsay said.
"Okay, first we make a giant taco shell, 5 kilometers wide, then we load it with beef, beans, cheese-"
"-and jalapenos?" Lindsay pronounced incorrectly, "I like it spicy."
"Si, muy, muy caliente! But the salsa, my friends, the salsa we'll make, from TNT! We bring the Trojan Taco to their camp, they take a tasty bite, and then, boom-boom!"
The rest of the Killer Grips (and Leroy) had skeptical looks on their faces.
"I know Izzy's crazy," Leroy commented, "but that idea is just ridiculous."
"People, Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness decrees that although Mexican food is very tasty, we will not be making the Trojan Taco."
"Attack, remember?" Beth whispered.
"We are going to attack so…" Beth pointed in the direction of the Gaffers. "Let's go down there and fight!"
Owen, Justin, and Izzy all groaned.
"Now listen peeps, I know you're frightened of going into battle. But I'm here to say: Be strong. Be fierce. Be ferocious. Go and fight for that trunk like it's boxing day and you're fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants! Show! No! Mercy!"
"Charge!" Beth, Owen, Justin, and Izzy soon ran to attack the Gaffer area.
"I'll be here when you're done!" Lindsay called.
Leroy rolled his eyes. "Lazy." He said as he switched to the Gaffer cam, which was planted inside the Gaffers' underground hole. He saw Harold, Heather and Leshawna, but the latter looked bloated.
"I'm bloatin' up like a pufferfish," Leshawna whispered. "And when it blows-"
"Leshawna, you are not farting in here!" Heather whispered angrily. "Not only will it be dis-gross-ting, the sound will give us away!"
"Oh, but there's an air baby in there, and it wants to be born!"
Harold and the Heather exchanged looked before the former grabbed a stool and set Leshawna on it. Both him and Heather tried to keep Leshawna comfortable.
"Hush little baby, don't you cry," Heather quietly sang, "if you do, we'll surely die!"
"Harold, baby," Leshawna gasped, "I'm sorry for lying. It was wrong. Can you forgive me?"
"I will if you keep holding it-" Harold was cut off as Leshawna farted, "in…" Harold coughed.
Unfortunately, the noise was enough to get the Grips' attention as Harold was gasping for air.
"There they are!" Justin exclaimed. "Charge!"
The rest of the Grips followed suit, but they instead got caught in a snare trap, trapping them all in a net.
Duncan screamed as he landed and cut a cable connected to the trap, sending all four Grips back to their area, also awakening a sleeping Lindsay.
"There's-there's a scratch!" Justin wailed. "My face can't continue to take on this abuse! I'm losing it! Y-you gotta let me go on leave, Admiral Lindsay!"
"Are you buying this?" Lindsay asked Beth.
"Nope!" Beth replied.
"Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness says to drop the crazy act, okay?"
"Izzy, you're sort of female, right?" Justin asked. "Can you help? I mean, I had Beth and Lindsay wrapped around my finger, but now I'm getting zero play. What's the deal?"
"Honestly, I never really got it." Izzy answered. "I don't think you're so cute."
"Like I care what you think!" Justin spat in response.
Confessional
Justin- "Me. Not cute. I'll tell you who's not cute: crazy people named Izzy!"
"You think I'm cute, right?" Owen asked.
"'Course!" Izzy replied. "You're super cute!"
"That's great, Iz," Owen swooned, "because even though I'm weak and torn down, I still really like you."
"That's nice, Big O. But Explosivo, Explosivo loves just two things. The first is boom. The second is boom. Put them together, and what do you get?"
"Boom-boom?" Owen said uneasily.
"Ole!"
"Moving on," Leroy muttered as he switched over to the Gaffer feed. Green gas was running amongst the underground hiding spot.
"What's going on in here?" Duncan questioned as he dashed into view.
"I'm trying not to puke, is all." Heather deadpanned.
Leshawna was now leaning on the trunk. "Y'all, I really think it might be over now. I'm feeling much-" she was cut off as another fart occurred.
"Ugh, I am out!" Heather groaned in disgust as she walked away.
Duncan sniffed the air. "It smells like blue cheese in here!"
"I'm so sorry," Leshawna apologized, "I feel like I really let the team down."
"You think?!" Duncan growled. "Harold, what have you been doing all this time?"
"Trying to keep the team together!" Harold said. "No thanks to you, or Ms. Toxic Emissions here!"
"Be mad at Chef, he made the stupid smoothies!" Leshawna defended, despite the fact that they were made for Owen.
"You can't do anything right!" Duncan berated Harold. "You're an idiot!"
"At least I'm here!" Harold defended. "At least I'm trying! What kind of lousy marine leaves a squad all alone?"
Another fart rang across the area. "Dude, we gotta get outta here!" Duncan said.
Harold however, blocked the way. "Not until you say we're a team!" he demanded.
"Who cares when we're gonna die of toxic butt poisoning!"
"-and say that you value my contributions!" Harold added.
Another gurgle from Leshawna interrupted them.
"That ominous warning usually means a really bad one is coming!" Harold warned.
"There are worse ones?" Duncan said uneasily. "You're not a complete loser, okay? I value the small portion of you that isn't a loser. Can we go now?"
"Anything you want, teamie."
Both of them grabbed the trunk (and Leshawna) and rushed outside. Leroy saw that the Grips (minus Lindsay) were attempting another attack.
Duncan set the trunk on the ground. "Four of them, two of us. Don't like these odds."
"Well, we do have a secret weapon." Harold pulled out a pair of yo-yos.
"The num-yo? We're dead meat!"
"Charge!" The Grips yelled as they neared the Gaffer base.
"I respect your strength, but I will defeat you!" Harold declared confidently.
Duncan looked worried, before he suddenly got an idea to rotate the trunk so that Leshawna was facing backwards as she farted again. The gas created a smokescreen that covered Harold and the Grips.
Leroy put on a gas mask as he heard 'whacks' and 'pows'. When the gas cleared, Harold was looking triumphant over the defeated Grips.
"What can I say?" Duncan complimented. "You did good. You did real good."
"The team did good!" Harold corrected.
Leroy's timer then suddenly rang.
"Time's up!" Chris announced. "The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner's circle! That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own tonight! And now, it's time to reveal to the winners: The Mind-Blowing Secrets within this trunk! Here's what you were fighting for, team!"
Leroy opened the chest as Duncan and Harold looked inside, only to have their jaws drop as what was there: nothing.
"All this sadness!"
"All these tears!"
"Dude, no tears! That was just our eyes watering off Leshawna's butt blasts!"
"Still, all this hatred, for what?"
"An empty trunk!"
"The madness of war!"
Both boys looked at each other before throwing their arms up in the air and screaming "WHYYYYYYYYYY?!"
At the Gilded Chris Ceremony, Leroy once again played the theme, and said "Alright Grips, you know the drill, voting devices are under your seats, use them to vote for who you think should go."
The Grips did as they were told, and soon the results were calculated.
"This one's a nail biter," Chris commented, "I'd say no one's safe tonight. Lindsay, how do you feel about your chances?"
"Let's face it, Chris," Lindsay responded, "it was my lousy admiral-ing that cost us the challenge. If I go home tonight, I won't blame anyone, except Beth."
"Why me?!" the farm girl exclaimed in surprise.
"I have to blame someone!" Lindsay answered.
"Then, there's Izzy." Chris continued. "You overdid it on the first challenge and cost your team an important victory. Will it be your crazy bum sitting in the Lame-O-Sine tonight, for the second time?"
"Explosivo does not answer most questions!" Izzy answered defiantly.
"Justin," the host addressed, "Beth and Lindsay seem to have kinda left your corner, pretty boy. Are you worried?"
"Nah, I never worry," Justin nonchalantly assured, "it causes wrinklage."
"Alright then, votes have been tabulated!" Chris announced as he received the paper. "So, it's time to present the awards!"
Leroy brought four Gilded Chris awards to the stage to hand them out.
"Tonight, the Gilded Chris goes to…Beth."
"Lindsay."
"…and Owen. And now, only two nominees left."
Leroy had tossed the Gilded Chris awards to the three safe contestants, leaving only Justin and Izzy. The latter made a V-sign at the camera.
"The final award goes to…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Justin."
"Por que!" Izzy exclaimed.
"I'll miss you Iz," Owen said sadly.
"Chef! Quickly!" Leroy barked in panic. Chef nodded and quickly dragged Izzy away to the Lame-O-Sine.
Confessional
Justin- "I'm not saying I voted for Izzy just because she said I'm not cute. Okay, it was just because of that. Thing is, Beth and Lindsay told me they were sending me home. So you see, I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to…shake things up, with my new patented all-time lady-killing mega flip!" (flips hair) "I'm back, baby!"
Chef tossed Izzy into the Lame-O-Sine as Leroy held the door open.
"And this time, you're not coming back." Leroy smirked as he shut the door and the Lame-O-Sine promptly drove away.
His cellphone then rang. "Huh? Another Aftermath? Okay…"
Leroy knew he had more work to do. And he had already left for the Aftermath Studio.
I know it took forever to get this out, but at least I got it out, right?
Don't really know when the next one will come out, but I will get it done. (Eventually...)