Double Trouble 35
Chapter 35 'Regina's story - The kiss'
(flashbacks are set in S1 before the events of Emma's story Chapter 18)
Last year
Regina didn't even look up from her laptop when the new Sheriff walked into her office, responding to a terse summons to Town Hall she'd received by email that morning. Emma stood in front of her desk for several minutes before the Mayor even acknowledged her while she finished what she was doing.
Emma tapped her foot and rolled her eyes at the obvious power play.
"Seriously? I've got stuff to do, Madam Mayor."
"You will wait. This is important and so is what I need you for."
"I'll come back later when you're not busy."
"Since you obviously have no patience, Sheriff Swan, why don't you sit and we can get started."
Regina finally raised her eyes and gestured to the visitor's chair on the other side of her desk. Emma plopped into the chair and slouched lankily.
"What have you dragged me here for anyway?" said Emma.
Regina frowned. "You have been Sheriff now for two months. I'd have thought you'd want to be paid your salary at some point?"
"What?"
"Your employment paperwork was never processed fully when you started working for the town, and now that you are Sheriff there are more details to organise. Surely you noticed that you have yet to receive a paycheck?"
"Well yeah, but-"
Regina grabbed a bundle of forms from her tray. She took the first few from the top and tossed them on the desk in front of Emma landing them with a slap.
"Here. Fill these in. These are your contract, employment details, emergency contacts, firearm registration and licensing, taxation forms, life insurance policy, ..."
"Come off it," Emma whined, letting her know exactly what she thought about doing all that paperwork.
"Fine," snapped Regina. "Don't get paid. Work for free. I don't care if you starve and get evicted."
"This is going to take forever," grumbled Emma. "I hate paperwork."
"I could always fill in the paperwork terminating your employment for you if you'd prefer," offered Regina, glowering at the stubborn blonde.
Emma muttered. "Like I'd give you the satisfaction."
"Excuse me?"
"I only took this job to piss you off and it's working out great. I'll never give it up. So you can send me all the paperwork and crap jobs you like but I'm not gonna quit."
"Good. Because Henry wants an xbox for his next birthday and I refuse to buy one."
"Why. Aren't you like a millionaire or something?"
"I am not buying yet another video game for him to rot his brains with. He already has that other thing and a computer. I don't want his homework to suffer."
"Loosen the apron strings a little would you? He's just a kid. He'll be fine."
Regina ignored her, annoyed at the implications and at being shafted into her obvious role as the fun police yet again. She flicked through some more forms on her desk and then opened her drawer to retrieve the other ones she was looking for. She handed them to the Sheriff.
"You also need to do this."
Emma scanned the form quickly. "No."
"It is a condition of your employment," said Regina, gritting her teeth.
"No it's not. It says right here, it's optional. I'm not doing it."
"And I say you are."
"Look, I don't need a medical health assessment alright. I'm young and healthy. I'm not gonna keel over and die from some underlying condition. I've been doing way more dangerous stuff than this for ten years anyway. I'm fit for duty."
"Do I know that?" demanded Regina, pointing at her own chest. "How am I supposed to tell my son that his mother has gotten herself killed on the job?"
Emma's jaw dropped in shock at the outburst and she was actually speechless.
"Don't look at me like that," said Regina, eyes flashing. "I do not care about you. I care about Henry's mother."
"That's the same thing."
"It is not."
It was just over two months since Graham's funeral. Half the town had turned out and Regina had felt Emma's eyes on her the whole time, still seething over the fight that'd brought them to blows. She'd somberly encountered people and maintained a tightly controlled outward appearance, but every now and then something had flickered through her. Something like guilt and that was not a familiar nor a welcome feeling.
Emma gave her a look of concern. "Are you worried because of what happened with Graham? That's not going to happen to me."
Regina shoved her chair back suddenly and got up to go to the window, staring out at her apple tree.
"I know," she said shortly.
"Why do you even care? If I die it'll solve all your problems," joked Emma, casually referencing her own death.
"Because of Henry," said Regina quietly, still with her back to her. "He'll be devastated if anything happens to you."
"What about you?"
Regina tightened her jaw. "I couldn't care less."
"You're lying."
Regina turned around slowly to see Emma still sitting in her chair now with her feet propped up on the desk, regarding her with a smug expression. She felt a sinking dread, remembering what Henry had told her about the superpower. The only times he'd talk to her these days was to chatter happily about his birth mother. Emma did this... and Emma did that...and Emma can tell when anyone is lying...
"Get out of my office. We're done here."
"Oh, we're not finished yet-"
"Sheriff Swan-"
"-Not until you admit it."
"Sheriff Swan, leave now or the next time you see Henry he'll be taller than you are."
Emma nodded like she expected it and stood up. She stared at Regina shrewdly for a second before scooping up the paperwork from the desk in order to leave. "I'll have these done by next week."
"You will have them done by tomorrow," said Regina, to show she was serious.
"Maybe." Emma shrugged nonchalantly on her way out. "Have a good day, Madam Mayor."
Regina watched her go silently, wondering when the hell she'd lost her power over the town and the people in it.
"Henry, who was at the door?"said Regina, appearing in the living room swiftly, wearing an apron and an oven mitt on one hand. When she noticed Emma standing there she startled out of surprise before she could cover it.
"Sheriff Swan. What are you doing here."
"Um, Henry let me in," said Emma awkwardly, looking as out of place as she must've felt. "I brought uh, that paperwork for you."
The air tensed between them for a second, each of them seemingly waiting for Regina to demand she get out immediately.
"She's staying for dinner," said Henry simply, before returning his attention to more important matters. "Emma, look what Mom got me!"
The boy pointed to the floor in front of the TV. There was a bunch of cables and electronic equipment lying in a haphazard tangle on the floor and also a small pile of thin lime-green edged boxes waiting nearby.
"Woah kid, that's awesome. An xbox!" said Emma in an over-the-top voice bordering on sarcasm that would only be detected by one of the Millses. "You are one lucky kid. It's not even your birthday. Did you thank your Mom for the present?"
"Yeah. Let's play, Emma."
"Henry, dinner will be ready soon," hinted Regina.
"Ok. This is a cool game. Let's try this one but I'm going first," said Henry, kneeling on the carpet and looking through the stack of games.
Emma looked at Regina as if for permission, still apparently waiting to be ejected.
"Can you - " Regina gestured loosely with her hand, indicated the tangle on the floor. "- set it up for him?"
"Yep, I'm all over this, now begone and fix dinner," teased Emma.
Regina did intend to return to the kitchen but not before sending the blonde a death glare that could've destroyed the town.
Ever since he'd found out he was adopted, Henry was going through a phase of ignoring her. Regina's strategy in dealing with it was not to make a big issue of his little attempt at a powerplay and she trusted that he'd come back to her when he felt ready. But now not only was his birth mother ready to step in as the non-mean Mom, it was even more irritating that Emma was here to witness Regina's apparent failure to discipline her child.
Neither of the pair on the floor even noticed her leave the room.
Once Henry was set up and happily playing with the brand new xbox, Emma ducked into the kitchen for a minute where judging by the delicious aroma wafting through the house Regina was getting ready to serve.
Regina took the baking dish out of the oven just as Emma bumped into her trying to get out of her way. Instinctively Emma's hands went straight to Regina's hips as she moved around her. Regina sent her a look of annoyance and headed to the counter quickly to tend the dish of piping-hot lasagna.
"That smells amazing. Sorry I hit you," Emma said contritely.
"What? It was just a tap. Get out of my way if you're so fragile."
"Not now. I meant that fight we had weeks ago. I hit you."
"I hit you first. It's fine."
"No it's not," said Emma firmly. "I don't hit women."
Regina gave her a stare, half angry and half incredulous. "You realise you've managed to be both chivalrous and ironically sexist in one sentence don't you?"
"I didn't mean it like that. I got nothing against hitting some strung-out chick who's bashing me back but I don't hit people who aren't on my level when they're already hurting."
"Excuse me?"
"Regina. You're a single mom from the suburbs and you had just broken up with your boyfriend. I felt you go slack in my arms before Graham pulled me off you. You had nothing after that first punch. And you're kinda … puny. I could've killed you."
Regina could hardly believe her ears. If she'd had her powers she could have - and likely would have - reduced Emma to a pile of ash that day. But she hadn't had access to magic nor anyone to fight with in 28 years and the instinct to attack had come out physically instead of magically. But as Emma clearly suspected she'd never been in a fist-fight in her life.
"Are you saying I'm not dangerous?"
Emma teased, "Oh you're plenty dangerous... but not with your fists. What are you gonna do, poison my lasagna? Listen, I'm not trying to offend your pugilistic skills. You're scrappy when you're ragey. But I'm strong and I've trained for years, I can take down a two hundred pound guy if I have to."
Emma moved closer so she could put her fingers under Regina's chin and stroke her thumb across the skin. "I must've really hurt you."
Regina stiffened at the touch and immediately extricated herself from under Emma's armour-piercing gaze.
Why was she trying to emphasize the advantage she had over her in physical strength? Emma was right about the fight of course. In the split second that she'd been grabbed and forced against the concrete wall of the vault, Regina knew she'd picked a fight that she couldn't win without magic and she hated it.
"Sorry for throwing you around," Emma whispered.
Why was she apologising and why did she even care? Why was she staring at Regina's lips like that? The bruise had healed weeks ago.
"Is it ready yet, Mom?" Henry said, leaning around the doorway on one hand.
"Yes, we're eating now," said Regina. "Have you washed your hands?"
"Yes," he sighed impatiently.
"You're lying, kid," said Emma easily. "Go do it."
When he ran off Regina began to busy herself with getting out plates and glasses and cutlery. She cut up sections of the lasagna ready to put them onto three plates along with servings of salad, then went to uncork a bottle of wine. All while under Emma's watchful gaze.
"You want me to get Henry to set the table?" offered Emma.
"No, it's fine."
"Sure?"
"Yes. He won't do it anyway."
"He will if I ask him to."
"Exactly," said Regina exasperatedly. "Do you think I want him to obey me only because you ask him to?"
"I'll talk to him."
"No! Did you not hear what I just said?"
Emma switched topics in a flash. "So what's with getting Henry the xbox huh? Changed your mind?"
"Yes. I am allowed to do that aren't I? I said he could have it provided he kept up with his homework. He's been pestering me for ages over it. That's what children do."
"Uh huh," said Emma in the tone whenever she used her lie-detector and was just humouring someone. "You can't buy the kid's love you know."
Regina grabbed the plates and a fistful of cutlery ready to take into the dining room. She stopped to give Emma a baleful look.
"Yes, thank you, I do know that. I'm completely aware that I don't have his love."
All throughout dinner Henry kept chattering about the new game system and school and comics and whatever else he could think of. But he was mostly just talking to Emma since Regina hadn't heard him talk so much in a long time and definitely not when they two were alone. Emma kept glancing twitchily at her like she expected to get thrown out at any second.
"Thanks for dinner, Regina," said Emma politely. "I'll deny it till my dying breath if you tell anyone but your lasagna is way better than Mary Margaret's."
"Mom makes the best food," declared Henry. "Lasagna's my favourite."
Regina smiled at him but it was rather thin.
"I'm finished. Can I go, Mom? My show's on."
"Yes, go on," said Regina. "But the TV is going off at 8.30 understand?"
Henry grabbed Emma's hand but met resistance. "Come on, let's go."
"Kid, I'm just gonna finish my wine and talk to your Mom ok?"
Henry let his head drop in frustration and then walked off with a funny stomp. "Grrr, Emma, you're boring too."
When he was gone the two of them lapsed into an awkward silence so they each sipped at their wine for something to do. Regina was the first to lose patience with the silence but instead of speaking she got up to start clearing the plates away.
"Regina, sit down," Emma chided. "Finish your wine. Nobody's gonna die if you don't do the dishes within five minutes - or five days even. I'll do them later for you."
"You are not doing my dishes." Regina muttered, sitting back down. "Do you want dessert? Or more wine?"
"You can't help yourself can you. Stop hosting. Just sit and talk to me would you? Have a conversation that doesn't involve The Hulk or Gears of War."
"Gears of what?"
Emma pursed her lips into a smile. "You have no idea what you bought do you? I'm taking that game back to the shops before he realises. He is not playing that. It's violent as hell."
"What would I know about xbox?" said Regina wearily.
"Well for a start, Henry just word-vomited about it for an hour..."
Regina refrained from commenting, not wanting to have to admit to Emma that Henry didn't usually talk to her like that. So she changed the subject quickly.
"The frisbee's been on the roof for months. You're getting it down on Saturday."
Emma laughed. "What? The other day you were worried I was gonna get shot by some random goon and now you want me up on the roof so I can probably fall and break my neck?"
"I don't care if you do come down off the roof as long as the frisbee does too."
"Ok. Wear something low-cut then. If I have to get up on the roof I want a chance to look down your dress."
"Excuse me?!"
"I was kidding." Emma raised her eyebrows. "Regina, I get it. Being a single mom is hard. Graham used to do your guy stuff didn't he."
Regina stared at her in irritation. "Even if he did you are not replacing him, no matter how much you swagger around the place. And yes, being a single mom is hard. What would you know of it."
"Nothing. Because you won't let me."
Regina leapt up and starting stacking the dishes roughly before stalking off. Emma grabbed the glasses and the last of the dinner things and followed after her.
In the kitchen, Regina plonked the plates down with a clatter before rounding on her shadow with fiery eyes. When she whirled around Emma was too close, right next her placing the delicate glassware carefully next to the sink. She didn't know whether Emma was more annoying when she was being a thorn in her side or when she was being considerate.
"Regina, can I-"
"Do you think it's easy being the one saying 'no no no' all the time? Especially when he hates me already and some outsider comes in filling his head with Twinkies and fun time? I can't compete with that. It's been hard enough doing it alone."
"Then let me help you," said Emma softly.
"No. We are not playing happy families."
"Why."
"Because all you'll do is replace me completely. This is all I have with him and you want to take over that too?"
"No, I just want to-"
"He's allergic to penicillin," Regina started ranting heatedly, reminiscent of the first day they'd met. "He was hospitalised at six months for projectile vomiting. He used to bite the other children at daycare before he grew out of it. Once he threw a tantrum in a toy store so bad that we got thrown out and banned from shopping there ever again. He was a little terror when he was teething or sick, one time he cried for three days straight and when Graham turned up to check on us I threw the baby at him and locked myself in the bathroom for ten minutes' peace and I was in tears because I didn't know what I was doing wrong.
"Nothing can prepare you for what parenthood is really like, no matter how ready you think you are there's nothing in life compared to the sleeplessness, the tiredness, the constant worry over your child. But when they smile and recognise you for the first time, or when the baby giggles in his sleep, or when he runs to you at the school gates saying 'Mommy Mommy Mommy look what I did'... the love they give you makes up for the rest a thousand times over.
"But you wouldn't know about any of that because you weren't there. You didn't have to put up with all of it. You haven't earned the good part of parenting. But I was there...
"So tell me what it is you do, Emma. How do you make him go to you so easily? You've only been in town five minutes and he loves you already. And I-" Regina's voice choked and she cut herself off.
"Regina, he does love you. For all the reasons you just said. You're his Mom."
"I don't think he does," she said in a light but humourless tone. Regina could feel the tears start to form in her eyes and was dismayed that Emma would see them.
"The reason I know that is because he's just like you. Here." Emma reached out to lay her fingertips above Regina's heart. "No matter how angry he is, he hasn't forgotten how much he loves you."
Regina's eyes met hers searchingly, locking on fiercely as if questioning what she meant.
Emma placed her hands on either side of Regina's face and hesitated before moving in slowly, checking to see if she'd get pushed away. She paused at the last second, only millimetres away, before finally joining their lips softly. Regina gasped into it like she was drowning and Emma was oxygen. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her already pounding heart-rate shot up and she responded immediately when Emma hungrily deepened the kiss.
The heat went straight to her lower body when she felt Emma press her hips into hers and wrapped her arms around her. Regina began threading her fingers through a tangle of blonde curls before placing a hand on the other woman's chest.
But it was to push her away, not to caress. Regina broke the kiss and pushed Emma back in shock so she could extricate herself from the embrace.
"Wh- what are you doing?" she panted.
Emma shook her head vaguely, confused by the rejection.
"No. We're not doing this." Regina held out a hand like a stop sign, backing away. "Go watch TV with Henry until he goes to bed at 8.30."
"Regina, don't. Please. We have to talk about this-"
"You can let yourself out, Sheriff Swan."
Regina ran out of the kitchen, disappearing into some other part of the house leaving Emma standing there without even knowing why.
"Oh my god. You can't just stop it THERE," shrieked Ruby. She'd slid into the booth next to Granny at some point during Regina's narration and was eagerly hanging on every word.
Granny pointed her granddaughter back towards the diner. "Go. Waitress. Customers."
Ruby groaned like it was the worst thing ever. "But I want to know what happens. Don't start again until I come back ok?"
"Ruby," Granny chastised.
While the two Lucases continued to argue over diner work and whether it should be done, Regina surreptitiously checked her phone. There were three new messages.
Dr Archibald Hopper: Hello Regina. If it's alright with you, Henry and I will order in and talk some more. Regards, A.H.
Mary Margaret Blanchard (tombstone icon): Hi Regina! Henry was ok at school today but he seemed a bit down by the time the last bell rang. I figured that you and Emma would probably get dinner together with Henry later and the girls are having leftovers at my place, so David and I are going for a romantic candlelit dinner at Pendragon's. Could you two sleep at your house again tonight? ;)
Emma Swan: Hey R how did H go at the shrink appointment? I'm gonna be late sry, got a call out. Don't wait up.
Regina typed back terse replies to all of the people who'd abandoned her, wishing that she could send fireballs by SMS. They couldn't have done a more effective job of pissing her off than if they'd coordinated their efforts. She wasn't sure which of them to be more annoyed at right now.
Once Ruby had stormed off to the kitchen, Regina heard Granny chuckle and say, "I'm glad I'm not on the receiving end of that. Your face looks like a thundercloud."
Regina sighed. "It appears that I'm here for dinner after all."
Granny played with her glasses chain. "So. Last year. Emma wanted to spend more time with you and Henry. But you didn't want to play 'happy families' as you called it. What about now?"
"Emma says we're a family but I'm not certain we're all happy," said Regina. "Something's going on with Henry."
"What about you. Are you happy with Emma?"
"Yes," Regina blurted out. "I think of her all the time. Her idiotic jokes make me laugh in spite of myself. I miss her when she's not with me and my heart skips a beat when I see her. Before I met her I thought I'd never feel like this again."
"Did you tell Emma that last year?"
"No," Regina scoffed. "I was trying my hardest to get rid of her."
Granny raised an eyebrow. "Sounds to me like you weren't trying very hard."
"Miss Swan always did have a way of turning up when I least expected her to. I rejected her after our first kiss, so coming over to my house again was the last thing I expected her to do..."