"Caroline tries play matchmaker for bonnie and Jeremy. she ends up enlisting kol's help, knowing he and Jeremy hung out in Denver. neither of them know that the couple is already together and trying to get Caroline and kol together. does that make any sense ? lol" –P.M

All-Human AU.

I'm back in school. So less time to write. Ha.

"Kol!" That was the only warning before claws gripped into the meaty muscle of his arm and pulled him away so the blonde monster could devour him in the janitor's closet. This was it. This was Kol Mikaelson's end. Goodbye Mother, Father, Bekah, Elijah, Finn, Nik- no, not you, Nik, fuck you.

The blonde she-demon pressed him against the janitor's closet and he tried not to stare into her eyes lest he be turned to stone. She responded by pinching him in the vulnerable section of his torso and he did not make a whining noise of distress as he tried to bat her off.

"Forbes!" He yelped before she let go.

"You have to help me." She told him with some degree of finality, like he had no choice.

"With what?" He rubbed the parts of his body she had abused and considered screaming for help. But he had a feeling that would only make her eat him faster.

"Bonnie and Jeremy," She gave him an obvious look. "They're in love with each other. We have to get them together!"

"No,"

"No?"

He shook his head. "No."

She looked annoyed now. "No?"

"No-" He barely got the last word out before she pinched him in the arm so hard he saw his life flash before his eyes. "Okay! Okay! Just stop hurting me!"

She let him go with a pleased, evil little smile. "Great! We'll talk more about this later. I'll call you!"

She pushed him out of the way so she could leave the shoebox closet and he let her, folding his body as far away from her as possible. Devil woman. What had he just gotten dragged into?

He wanted to tell Caroline Forbes to bugger off. He wasn't some wanker that would sell off his best mate because some scary blonde dictated he do so. Not that Jeremy wasn't as besotted with Bonnie Bennett as Forbes claimed her best friend to be with Jeremy as well because he was but going behind his mate's back and scheming up all these scenarios to get them closer would not be appreciated by Jeremy. However, Forbes was a terrifying bird (almost up to par with his own sister but it took real crazy to beat Bekah) and had her mind set on matchmaking their best mates together like some messed up chick-flick.

This was why he was knocking on the front door of the Forbes home after class because Caroline texted him (how the bleeding hell did she get his number?) to meet her there after class so they can plot the Master Plan to End All Master Plans. And since he'd forgotten until whose daughter Forbes was, he might've looked stricken when Sheriff Forbes opened the door and he suddenly wanted to run away.

He and the good sheriff weren't strangers, his older brothers did some shit in their youth but it seemed she hated Kol's guts especially. Could it be because he was a total little shit when pissed drunk or because the sheriff had caught him looking down her daughter's blouse a little too much (hey, Forbes had fantastic tits!), he didn't know. All he knew was that Sheriff Forbes hated him and now he had to be in her home for what could be hours. Oh bloody hell.

"Kol," Her blue eyes, like her daughter's, were icy and looked like she wanted to get her handcuffs already and bring him down to the station again. "What are you doing here?"

"Um," He tried to get his bearings. "Forbes- I mean, Caroline is expecting me."

She looked like she was about to reach for her gun when Forbes finally appeared and took his hand, dragging him into the house and up the stairs before he or he mom could blink.

"Caroline?" There was a healthy amount of panic in Sheriff Forbes' voice.

"School work!" Caroline just replied.

"Leave your door open!"

Caroline obliged and left the door half-way open, releasing her hold on Kol and gesturing for him to follow her to the bed where she had her plan all set up complete with charts and little notes. Kol blinked down at the organization of it all, telling about Bonnie and Jeremy's shared interests and hobbies. What the two looked about each other, what they liked in a person, similarities between their exes….

"How long have you been working on this?" He asked as he picked up a sticky note, noting similarities between Vicki and Anna. He was getting a little scared.

"A few days," She answered as she sat on an empty space on the bed and looked over Bonnie's relationship expectancy chart. "I wanted to make sure I had everything set up before I recruited you."

"Forbes, are we killing them or getting them together?"

She looked up from her work to give him a look. "I'll kill you if you don't get serious about this."

He carefully moved some of her work away to take a seat on the bed. "Forbes, they'll either get together or they won't. All this planning will just drive you mad."

"Kol, how long have you and Jeremy known each other?"

"Since freshman year," Right, when they moved into town and he found out Jeremy miraculously got his hold on a new video game even he didn't have yet. "Why?"

"And how long have you known he likes Bonnie?"

"Practically just as long."

"I've known him and Bonnie my whole life and I can tell you, they haven't looked at anyone they've ever dated the way they look at each other." She smiled almost wistfully. "It's the real thing."

She continued. "So maybe we have to push them a little so they can get together and be happy, it's okay. So I made Venn diagrams and flow charts because I want this plan to succeed, it's fine. I want our best friends to be happy, that's it."

He sighed, already feeling himself relent. "Fine. You win, Forbes. What's the first part of this amazing plan?"

She smiled so brightly at him he swear he almost went blind for a minute. Or maybe just half.

"How is going on a double date supposed to get them together?" Kol asked again because he couldn't believe he was about to go on a double date (though fake on his part) with his best mate and Caroline Forbes and her best mate. Hell must've frozen over and now all the demons were singing a rendition of 'Let It Go'.

"Because you're a good best friend and you want Jeremy to be happy." She answered him as she kept her gaze at the doors of the Grill.

He looked her over again for what must be the fifth time in two minutes. She'd dolled up like they were on an actual date. Her blue dress complimenting her skin and hair perfectly and he found himself focusing more on her red lips then when Jeremy would arrive.

"You look nice," He found himself saying before he can stop himself.

Caroline froze and then turned to him in surprise, her eyebrows raised. "What?"

Well, since hell was already cold anyway.

"I said, you look nice." God, she had a lovely mouth.

"Thank you," She sounded unsure but gave him a little smile before turning away again to look at the door.

A full minute passed before Caroline got a text from Bonnie that she had to take care of her Grams who was sick. And then a minute later, Kol got a text from Jeremy who said he was being subjected to a family bowling night. Heh.

"So the plan's a bust," He said as he looked at Caroline to see if she looked devastated or anything. This was her plan.

And she did look crestfallen but he tugged on the loose ends of her hair until she batted him away with a reluctant smile. "There's always next time."

"Exactly." He motioned for the waitress to come over. "And since we're here anyway, let's have dinner."

Caroline gave him a bright smile that nearly blinded him again and he returned it. Neither noticed the other couple watching them from the window of the Grill.

"Look, our plan's working!" Bonnie said excitedly as Jeremy wrapped his arm around her and smiled smugly at their best friends getting cozier with each other.

It was official. Jeremy Gilbert and Bonnie Bennett were geniuses.