Double Trouble 42

A/N: The response to last chapter was amazing, thanks for the reviews! I know the surprise opens up a lot of questions about how/who/why and they'll be answered in the story. There are some hints in this update and upcoming chapters. Sorry for the wait and especially leaving it on such an evil cliffhanger, I have been busy with work and other things. Enjoy!

Chapter 42 'Unwanted'

It felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the universe. There was a beat of silence while she stared at the doctor in shock and her brain registered what he'd said. "W-what? No," Em whispered, shaking her head.

"Judging from your hCG levels it's a new pregnancy, maybe only 12-14 days. Too early for most symptoms to show. You should organise some pre-natal care as soon as possible. It's important for a woman during pregnancy to..."

Em listened to him drone on and on about eating enough and exercising and a thousand other things, but she was numb to it all. She wished he'd stop saying that word. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

She'd known this was in her near future but it still didn't take the edge off the surprise and the enormity of it all. It hadn't seemed real until now. She was going to have a baby. A baby! A living breathing smiling talking laughing thinking little person was on his way into the world, growing inside her right now. A specific little person who she already knew. Her life was never going to be the same again. It's too soon. I'm not ready. How could this happen to me? I'm only seventeen. I can't do this. I can't be a mother for god's sake I can't even take care of myself. I can't. I can't. I can't. What am I going to do? A baby….

"I like the sound of that. Our child."

"That's right, the kid's going to be in there one day isn't he?"

"Oh Em, we're going to have a son together. Isn't it amazing?"

"I dunno if it's amazing. I suppose he came into the world just like every other person who ever lived."

"I don't care what you say, my baby boy is special."

The memories crashed to the forefront of her mind like the car accident she'd just been in. Ri was happy and excited already, so why wasn't she?

The doctor stopped talking for a minute, to carefully gauge her reaction to the news. "Is this an unwanted pregnancy?"

"Don't ever use that word about my kid!" snapped Em.

"I apologise. I only meant that you seemed surprised and because of your age… well, I strongly urge you to tell the adults or parents in your life, they'll be able to-"

"No."

"Do you have someone to take care of you?"

"I can take care of myself. Am I done here?"

The doctor gestured loosely with hand, like he'd done all he could and there was no use arguing with her - which there wasn't.

Em slid off the bed, without looking at him. She grabbed her pile of clothes where they were waiting on the foot of the bed and headed for the bathroom. She stilled with her hand on the doorknob when he spoke to her.

"Em?" the doctor's voice sounded quietly behind her. "Do you know what you're going to do?"

Em ignored him and shut herself inside the bathroom. She caught her own panicked expression in the mirror and quickly looked away, eyes settling downward towards her abdomen where she was hugging her clothes to herself. Her eyes flooded with tears until her vision blurred and she slapped her free hand over her mouth to stifle any noise.

Yes. I know what I'm going to do… because I've already done it.

Storybrooke Elementary School

The usual melee and rush of parents collecting their offspring greeted Emma when she went to pick Henry up from school that afternoon. She'd wanted to see him after she and Regina had been called in to the principal's office but he'd been sent back to class so she didn't want to push it and get him into any further trouble.

When Emma texted her mother to check on Henry she was surprised to hear that Mary Margaret had witnessed the supposed magical incident (a fact which the teacher had not admitted to Principal Gander at risk of losing her job). Apparently Henry and an older boy named Ethan had been arguing in the playground and Mary Margaret had been the teacher on duty. All she saw was Henry push his arms out and then the other boy was flung into the air and landed on the ground six feet away.

That was eyewitness testimony the Sheriff could not ignore. Regina had done the same to her out of anger. Mary Margaret certainly wouldn't lie about such a thing. It must be true. Henry had attacked another child with magic.

Emma knew there had to be more to this whole situation with Henry though. He'd been acting strangely for some time, especially since last weekend when he'd confessed that he didn't want her and Regina to be together but refused to say why. Regina had vehemently denied the possibility of Henry being involved in whatever was going in Storybrooke recently but Emma wasn't so sure. He knew too much and she suspected he was keeping secrets from them.

She caught sight of him straggling behind the crowd of kids by himself and waved him over.

"Hey kid! Over here."

"Emma," said Henry, sounding surprised to see her. He ran to her and wrapped his arms around her waist for a hug.

"So I was thinking we haven't done much on Operation Cobra for a while. You wanna go on a stakeout?"

"Yeah! Like where?"

"How about your castle? The new one."

"Nah, too many kids."

Henry shook his head and wouldn't agree to any other place she suggested either. So they ended up sitting in Emma's cruiser in main street, parked outside the diner watching the people come and go. Henry didn't seem very enthused about the stakeout anymore, he got bored of it quickly but he still seemed down about something. She was growing impatient waiting for him to come to them with his problems. The direct route was more her style.

"Henry. Your Mom and I got called up to your school today. Do you know what it was about?"

"Yeah."

"The principal wanted to expel you. She said you used magic against another boy?"

"Yeah."

This is like pulling teeth, thought Emma. "Is that all you're gonna say? Can you tell me what happened. Why you did it? How you did it?"

"I don't want you to hate me," Henry mumbled.

Emma reached over to ruffle his hair. "Oh kid, I could never hate you."

"What about Mom?"

"Your Mom could never hate you either. She'd do anything for you. You know who she used to be and you've seen how hard she's trying to change. She did that because she loves you so much. You helped her to see that she can be good again. She's doing really well. I'm proud of her, aren't you?"

"Yeah. But everyone still hates her because of what she did. I thought you hated her too. Do you really love her, Emma?"

"Yes, I do. We're together now. The last few months your Mom and I weren't in a good place and I know it was hard on you. But we're really trying to make it work now and we want you to be happy about it as well. If you have any questions you can come to either of us at any time, I mean that. I don't want to be the kind of parent that you can't be honest with. I promise you that I'll listen, whatever it is. Can you tell me why you don't like the idea of me and your Mom being in a relationship?"

Henry looked at her sideways under a stubborn brow. "I don't want you to be together if you're just going to leave her."

"Why do you think I'm going to leave?"

"Neal left and he's supposed to be my Dad. I saw him leaving with Tamara when I was at Mr Gold's shop last Saturday. Are you going to go too?"

"No. I'm not gonna chase after him or anything. Henry, what Neal did wasn't right but he's got his own life now. He left both of us a long time ago. I know it's disappointing when someone doesn't want you, I know how much it hurts. But I'm not going do that to you and your Mom, I'll never leave either of you -"

"I don't believe you!" Henry interrupted. "You gave me up when I was a baby and you were going to leave me last year too."

Emma was taken aback by his angry response. "What?" she whispered.

"You told me you were going to leave Storybrooke before I ate the poison apple turnover. You were going to leave me even though I needed you to stay and help me break the curse. You didn't believe me. I'm your son and you love me, so why would anything stop you leaving Mom? A-and if you leave then it'll break her heart and she'll go evil again."

Henry looked down sadly. "I guess that's ok, then it'll be just the two of us again. Mom and I can stick together because we're both bad and everyone hates us. Mom would never leave me."

Emma could feel her heart breaking while listening to Henry's worries about their family. This must be why he'd been acting up lately and had been clinging to Regina. He thought his birth mother was going to abandon them. He was worried that she was going to leave Regina heartbroken and send her back to her evil ways. But the worst part of all was how he talked about himself. He'd called himself "bad" and even though she'd heard the same thing from her own lips right throughout her childhood … she was devastated to hear it from her son.

When Henry had met his biological father for the first time he'd been thrilled, especially when Neal had come to Storybrooke supposedly to stay and spend time with his son. But all Neal had done was get Henry's hopes up and it seemed an extra cruelty to not say goodbye upon leaving. Had that been Tamara's influence? she wondered. Or was he still trying to get away from his father like he had been for centuries? Emma was intensely angry with Neal for disappointing Henry like this. She hadn't actually wanted to give her baby up and Henry was probably too young to really understand how hard that decision had been for her at the time. She'd hoped ever since his birth that her son would never have to feel unwanted like she had her entire life.

"Hey, kid. Listen to me. If you never believe anything else I ever say, believe this: you are not bad. There's nothing wrong with you ok? Even if you've done bad things or made a few mistakes - or a lot of them - it doesn't mean that you are bad. Your Mom and I both love you no matter what. I'm not leaving you guys. I didn't know much about family when I got here but I'm learning. Family doesn't leave family behind and that's exactly what the three of us are. You brought me here, kiddo, you're stuck with me."

"Please don't leave," said Henry. "Even if you think it's best for me? Because it's not. You have to promise that whatever happens, whatever you find out about me… don't leave us?"

"I won't. Come here," sighed Emma. She leaned over to put her arm around his shoulders and drew him into a side hug. She kissed the top of his head and then rested her chin there. "Don't worry about your Mom ok? She's strong. We've got her now. The dark side can't have her back without a fight."

108 Mifflin St, later that evening

After organising Em's discharge from the hospital that afternoon, Astrid brought the girls home and then drove Emma's car back to its usual parking space in Main Street leaving no-one the wiser.

Em was lying longways on the couch in the den staring at the TV screen but she wasn't playing the video game. It was paused while Henry was upstairs brushing his teeth. Emma was out in the dining room working as she had been since dinner and Ri was somewhere else as well. Em was feeling alright physically despite the car accident but mentally was another story.

Em's headache had abated somewhat but a dull throb still ached in her temples. She'd taken an aspirin automatically and then kicked herself when she realised what she'd done. She'd gotten out her phone to google whether it was safe to take the drug during early pregnancy but the search results had turned up all sorts of scary information that she didn't understand and all it did was freak her out further. He's only the size of a poppyseed and I'm already making the wrong choices for him?

She was sad and noticeably withdrawn but she didn't have the energy to act like her normal self. She realised with new sympathy that Emma probably didn't have anyone with her when she found out the news. Ri had been fussing over her ever since they left the hospital and Em was so numb that she just let her. Usually it fell to her to be the strong one, the protector, and she loved fulfilling that role in their relationship, but right now she really needed to be taken care of. She shouldn't have been surprised by it, but despite often being naive or scared Ri always managed to step up whenever anyone gave her the chance. It seemed that hardly anyone ever did though.

Ri still didn't know the truth.

Em felt the uncomfortable feeling of guilt nagging at her mind again and not just because she'd crashed the car today with her girlfriend in it and they could've been hurt much worse - all three of them. She also hadn't told Ri that she was pregnant with the baby who would be their son one day.

I can't tell her yet. She can't know in case I decide not to give him up. If I keep him I'll never have to be alone again. Could I do it? Maybe I could keep him and still come to Storybrooke later to break the curse. We could all be together then, nothing else would change would it? But I won't remember when I go back, Emma didn't. She only found out that she was pregnant after she was in jail, she didn't know anything about this place until Henry brought her here. I just have to remember the plan: keep the baby, come to Storybrooke. But then Regina would be the one who was alone and without having a reason and the chance to change she'd still be the Evil Queen when I got here wouldn't she? No, I can't do that to her. I won't be able to take good care of him anyway. She'll be crushed if I don't give him up. She wants him so badly.

But I want him too.

"Em, I'm coming! Don't start without me." Henry ran into the room at full pelt and plopped breathlessly on the floor in front of the couch. "Did you play the next level?"

"Nah. It's on pause waiting for you."

"Cool!"

Em found herself studying him like it was the first time she was really seeing him. Henry had changed into his dark blue pyjamas, sitting on the carpet cross-legged as he focused on the game and gripped the controller in his hands. The little pink tip of his tongue poked out the corner of his mouth while he concentrated. Who else did that? He smelled fresh after his bath and minty like toothpaste and his dark brown hair was still damp and curling around his perfect little ears. Whose hair colour is that I wonder? That's not mine. He's so beautiful, how did I never notice before? He's pale and a bit scrawny like me. I think he has my eyes. But when I look at him all I see is… her.

"Hey Em, are you okay?" Henry turned around to look at her with that lopsided tilt to the head.

"Yeah. Um, how was school today?"

"Not very good," Henry admitted. "My Moms got called to the principal's office. I nearly got expelled."

Ha, that's so me! You are a chip off the old block aren't you. I can't count how many times I got suspended or kicked out of school. Henry was such a well-mannered, well-behaved kid though - unlike her. That was definitely Regina's influence on him. He was smart and healthy and safe because of growing up in her care. Would he be the same if I raised him? I doubt it. I don't want him to end up like me. I want him to have everything I never had. I want him to have a home.

"What'd you do. Use black pen instead of blue?"

"No. I did something bad to another boy, but he's the biggest bully there is. Ethan kissed Jenna and made her cry, he does it to all the girls. I tried to stop him but I had to use magic. Everyone at school knows and now they're afraid of me. Last year they all made fun of me because I still believed in fairytales like a little kid but now everyone's found out they're really from Fairytale Land and I'm the only one who wasn't. Nobody will talk to me anymore."

Suddenly Em felt her anger burst into flames, like she wanted to shake some sense into these other kids. What the hell was wrong with them! How could they not see how awesome Henry was? Why didn't they want to be his friend? He was a fun cool little guy to be around. How could anyone not love him once they got to know him?

"Is that why you've been deliberately missing the schoolbus lately?"

"I guess so. The other kids are calling me the Half Blood Prince. Because my Mom's the Evil Queen."

Em burst out a laugh before she could stop herself.

Henry frowned crossly. "It's not funny!"

"Yeah sorry, kid." Em snorted. "It's not funny at all… it's hilarious. You look like you could be Harry Potter instead, especially when you're playing with your chem set like a nerd. How'd you get to be so smart, huh?"

Henry peered at her for a minute, like he was trying to size her up. "If I tell you something will you promise not to tell my Moms? You can keep a secret from everybody can't you?"

"You have no idea."

Henry leaned over to whisper with his hand cupped around his mouth. "It was me. I'm the one who brought you and Ri here. I made all of this happen. Everything."

Em smiled, though her heart wasn't fully in it.

"You still kinda look sad, Em. Can I give you a hug?"

Henry climbed onto the lounge in front of her and wrapped his bony little arms around her tightly. That was it. It was over. Em nearly started to cry, knowing that he'd won her heart and she'd be powerless against him forever after this. I can't believe how much I love him already. I don't ever want to let him go. But I have to. I have to give him his best chance. It's not with me.

"I like having you guys here," Henry mumbled into her shoulder. "It's like having friends. Even though you're gonna be my parents one day and you boss me around and tell me what to do. I'm glad I brought you here so we could help my Moms get together."

"You did good, kid," Em said softly, reveling in the feel of having her son in her arms. "Those two need as much help as they can get. And you know what else? The Half Blood Prince wasn't really bad. It turned out that he was kind of a hero. His true loyalties were in the right place. Everything he did was because of love."

Henry sat up and gave her a thousand-watt smile of wonder. "Brilliant! I knew you'd get it, Em."

"Henry," Ri called from the doorway. "Time for bed, it's 8.30. You have school tomorrow."

The boy started to whine in protest. "But Em isn't going-"

"Yes, she is going to bed now too. She's very tired, darling. Go on upstairs. I'll be up in a minute to say goodnight and tuck you in."

"Bye, Em." Henry gave her a little wave.

Ri watched Henry sigh heavily and then take his time going upstairs, dragging his feet like he was hoping she'd have time to change her mind and rescind the bedtime order. Once he was finally gone, she smiled to herself and came over to kneel in front of Em.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" said Ri, brushing her hair back. "Why don't you go up to bed too and wait for me. Do you think you'll sleep better alone tonight or do you want to cuddle?"

Em sighed. "Yes please. I want cuddles, definitely."

Less than half an hour after she'd sent the others to bed so that she could tidy up, Ri herself headed upstairs. She knew that Em would almost certainly have waited up for her no matter how tired she was. She slipped into the bed in the dark and whispered, "Are you warm enough?"

"I am now." Em rolled over and wrapped an arm and a leg around Ri so they could snuggle together.

"Emma and Regina are still talking downstairs. Well, mostly they're kissing and making up. Do you think we should've told them about what happened today? Or your parents?"

"You can't tell them about the car accident, Ri. Adults always freak out over that kind of stuff. Remember what happened the last time we ran away?"

"Yes, I do. They were very upset with us. Everyone ended up hurt over it."

Everyone meaning 'especially you and me', thought Em, as she remembered how after she and Ri had been caught making out at the B&B they'd started to fight with each other over little things like misunderstandings and big things like their son. Em placed a kiss on the curve of Ri's neck near where the plait of her hair began but pulled back straight away. Does Ri always smell like this? It's so sickly sweet that I almost can't stand it. Did I just not notice before or is it some weirdo pregnancy thing. Oh god what is happening to me. How can I be turned off right now. I love her more than life itself and she's the girl of my dreams. What if she can't wait for me to figure out my shit and be normal again?

"I was scared today," said Ri. "I'm so glad you weren't hurt badly. For a second there I thought I might- No. I can't lose you, Em. You mean too much to me."

"It could've been more than just me that was hurt." Em sighed. "I don't want to lose you either. I'm sorry, Ri. I know I'm not responsible. I promise I won't talk you into any more dumb ideas. No more risks. I have to grow up."

"Please don't remonstrate yourself over it. Everything turned out ok."

Em was silent for a little while, trying to take Ri's words to heart and alleviate the guilt she felt. But it wasn't working too well. She felt like she'd failed to protect her family today and swore that it would not happen again. Every decision she made from here on out would be to protect and cherish the tiny little life she was growing. Everything else paled in comparison now, everything else seemed trivial. Nothing else mattered to her now… except Ri and Henry.

I should tell her. But technically she isn't supposed to know. Regina never knew a thing about it until she adopted the kid. What if it ruins something in the future? What if it affects Henry? Who knows what could happen. I can't keep the secret forever though. Unless we go back soon she's going to find out anyway. She's kinda naive but I don't think she'll miss the fact that I'm going to turn into a beachball. She knows something's up with me. I should tell her now. If I let it go on too long she'll wonder why. No, I can't. What if it changes everything between us? What if she doesn't want-

"Oh my goodness Henry was hard to settle down tonight!" said Ri. "I blame you, Em, for getting him all excited playing the game before bed."

"Sorry," mumbled Em.

Ri's tone turned gentle. "Oh I was only teasing. It's lovely to see you two together and getting along now. I'd feel a little left out if I wasn't so happy about it. He worships the ground you walk on, you know."

Em made a noise of disbelief. "Dunno why. You're the one who's going to be his Mom."

"You're his mother too," said Ri, sounding confused.

"But you're good at being a Mom already. How do you know what to do? I don't even know what it's like to have a good Mom let alone be one. You remember what's good for him. I'm the one who gives him chocolate before dinner and hypes him up at bedtime. He doesn't need me."

"Are you ok, Em? You sound downcast. You'd tell me if there was something wrong wouldn't you?"

Em bit her lip and closed her eyes before replying. "Just let me hold you. You know I love you don't you?"

"Yes. You show me everyday."

"That's because everyday I fall a little more in love with you. Just when I think my heart's full there's room for more."

"You're right." Ri sighed sleepily. "That's how it feels for me too. Even more so now. Today was a very special day for me, Em. It feels like the whole world has changed."

"Me too," whispered Em. "You have no idea how much."