Double Trouble 43
A/N: Happy holidays, oh patient readers! I haven't disappeared off the planet, but I have been doing a fair bit of writing over the break. I finally got a decent internet connection ... but I kinda sorta have to find a new job soon. Not sure if that's a net win for 2013 or not.
Thanks for the reviews to last chapter. You guys are all kinds of wonderful. Enjoy this chapter because there won't be another one til next year ;).
Chapter 43 'Home'
108 Mifflin St
When Regina walked in the door late that evening she met with a warm house, a pile of dirty dishes on the sink, and loud explosions coming from the TV in the den. The kids barely raised their eyes from their video game to greet her when she looked in on them. She had a stack of work with her so she went to take it into the dining room where she intended to keep working, but apparently someone had already beaten her to that idea.
Emma was sitting at the table buried in a pile of paperwork, probably the files Regina had "dropped off" earlier that day. She must've been at it for a while judging by the way she was pressing her eyes with one of her fists.
"Hey." Emma gave her a small smile in greeting when she looked up.
Regina went to kiss her hello but she hesitated for a split second, wondering whether she should or not. It was long enough to be noticeable. Seeing that Emma looked disappointed before covering it up, she cursed herself inwardly for it. Though Emma did look like she'd calmed down since their earlier argument, Regina wasn't sure if they were still fighting.
"I uh, cooked dinner," Emma was saying. "It's not, you know, gourmet or anything though so eat at your own risk."
"I hadn't even thought of dinner. I appreciate it, Emma. Have you talked to Henry yet?"
"Yeah, but we didn't really talk about the magic stuff. He's alright now I think. He told me why he didn't want us to be together."
"He actually told you? Why."
"Remember how you thought it was because he was trying to protect me? It wasn't that. It turns out he was attached to the idea of his parents being together, but he was thinking of you and me, not me and Neal. It's not that he didn't want us to be together, he just didn't want us to break up. He was worried that I was going to leave you and run off with Neal, that I would break your heart and you'd turn evil again. He was trying to protect you, Regina. From me."
Regina sighed and closed her eyes. "He shouldn't have to worry about things like that. He shouldn't have to be afraid of what I might do."
"Hey," said Emma softly. "Don't be too hard on yourself ok? Being hard on you is my job, I'll tell you when you're screwing up ... and when you're not."
"Thanks, dear. Perhaps that is one reason why we're together. With all of our issues and problems there's only just enough between us to make one good mother." Regina was only half being facetious when she said it.
"We'd better stick together then huh." Emma smiled shakily. "The kid's ok. I mean, we've kept him alive this long so the rest should be a breeze. He's half cooked already."
"He's not an egg. The worst isn't over yet. Did you forget that he'll be a teenager soon? It'll be like the terrible twos except he'll be big enough to yell at us that he hates us and run away. With the car."
"Well, at least we'll be together through those horrible trying times. He won't get far, I can find anyone I'm looking for. Besides, we're getting plenty of practice at keeping a couple of teenagers under control. There's no way Henry can cause as much trouble as those two. At least, I hope not."
There was a beat of silence as they shared a smile until they both started talking again at once.
"Regina, we should really-"
"Emma, can we-"
They both paused, waiting for the other to speak. Emma laughed in relief to break the awkwardness. "Can we talk?"
Regina nodded. "Yes. Later?"
"Yeah. Dinner's in the fridge, if you're hungry."
She wasn't hungry but Regina put down her files and left the dining room for a few minutes to heat up her meal anyway. Chicken-something and surprisingly, green vegetables. While she waited for the microwave, she remembered humouring a seven-year-old Henry and his eggshelly cupcakes and vowed to herself that she'd eat whatever Emma had cooked tonight no matter how it tasted. She'd been stuck at work in a meeting that ran way over time and she'd completely forgotten about having to get dinner for the kids. They would've been climbing the walls by now if they'd had to wait for her.
When she came back and sat down to her plate of steaming food, she saw Emma rubbing her eyes again.
"Take out your contacts if your eyes are tired," said Regina. "Did you leave your glasses at your mother's? I'll summon them magically for you if you want."
"I don't need contacts or glasses anymore. Got my eyes lasered when I was 21. They get a bit dry ever since."
"Oh, I just assumed because of Em. I've never seen you wear any." Regina also wondered how a young Emma had afforded laser eye surgery at that age but she wasn't going to ask since the disparity in their wealth was already too apparent.
"Neal left me ten grand in the Bug," said Emma, answering the unasked question. "Found it when I got out of jail. He fenced the watches I got caught stealing for him so I considered the money mine to do whatever I liked with. Glasses are a pain in the ass and I'd been wearing them since I was little so it was money well-spent. I kept losing the stupid things or having them broken by foster siblings. That's why Em's wearing those ugly drugstore ones. Apparently they're some sort of ironic fashion statement now, but I was wearing them before they were cool."
"But you would have kept Henry if you'd known about the money?"
Emma shook her head. "But then this place would still be cursed, I wouldn't have found my parents, I wouldn't have met you, I'd still be blind as a bat… and I definitely wouldn't have seen you naked."
"Did you just put a price on the rights to my naked body?"
"Ten grand would be a bargain for you. I doubt whether all the camels in Egypt would be enough to pay your dowry, which is good because I'm all out of camels."
Regina rolled her eyes and took her first bite of food. It did taste fine and judging by the stupid jokes the real Emma was back. Her relief on both counts must've been too obvious.
"It's not poisoned you know," Emma said. "I can cook some things. Basic stuff to keep myself alive and healthy. Poison not included."
"You don't have the patience or subtly for poison. I'll know if you try to kill me one day because I'll see it coming."
It was getting late and they were both still working but Emma was over it. She'd spent most of the last half hour staring into space or at Regina, thinking about what she could do to mend things between them. David and Em were right. She hadn't been ready to take the big step of moving in together and she knew she was acting out because of it, but then again maybe she never would be ready if left to her own devices. Maybe all there was to do was try to get through it. She hadn't meant for Regina to bear the brunt of her inability to deal with it though.
She hadn't expected Regina to be so forgiving about her behaviour though. Sure they'd tiffed and argued every day but not once had Regina demanded she leave or indicated in any way that she wanted her gone. Emma had been acting like she had at some of her former foster homes and without being able to use youth as an excuse. But Regina had provided the security that allowed Emma to work out what she was feeling without worrying that she was going to be punished for it.
She must really love me, realised Emma. Not just the idea of me. Not because I'm Henry's mother. Not because I save her. Not because we have great sex. She loves me. How amazing.
"So um," Emma bit her lips together and tapped her pen on the page. "Are we still fighting?"
Regina kept her eyes on her paperwork. "I'm still mad at you for being an obnoxious brat if that's what you mean."
"Well, I'm still mad at you for ignoring my phone calls."
Emma decided to go for a little more honesty and softened her tone to confess. "It worries me when I can't reach you. Sometimes I think I'm going to find out that they've taken you to the stocks or something. I get afraid that one day I'll be too late to get to you."
Regina looked up and nodded solemnly. "I apologise for throwing the files at you."
"S'alright. Only took three hours to put them all back in the right folders."
Emma smiled and it only grew when she saw Regina crack a small smile as well.
"Hey, so um..." Emma took a breath. "About what happened today with Gander… are you ok? I mean, we're not exactly out and you haven't done this before. I know how crap it is the first time you have to face homophobic bullshit when things are still new and confusing. I'm especially sorry it happened when we were fighting as well. We're ok right?"
"Yes, and I am fine. I'm used to being hated."
"That's not a good thing. We shouldn't have to get used to it. But still, it's out there in the world."
"It didn't surprise me, given what I know of her. I don't care about her opinion. I suppose I would feel differently if I had family here who disapproved… well, I can only imagine what my mother would've said."
"I used to think sometimes that I was lucky for having no family to lose over it. Now I've got more family members than I know what to do with."
Regina brought up the topic that had been plaguing them all week. "Em was telling me that you're not dealing well with moving in here. You obviously know I heard you talking to David. It's okay, Emma, but you could've told me. I do understand what it's like. If you're not ready, you're not ready."
"No, maybe I'm not but-" Emma sighed heavily. "I think if we wait until I think I'm ready we could be moving into a nursing home together when we're in our nineties."
"If it does take that long I'm making a mental note now to run over your foot with my walking frame."
It was meant as a light joke but Emma took it as evidence that Regina was thinking about their relationship in the long term. For the first time in her life, someone not only expected her to be around but wanted her to be.
"It's… weird," said Emma slowly. "It's like the more I feel like I want to run away, the more I know I want to be here. I'm not used to having a home yet, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm tired of running, I want to collapse across the finish line with you. I guess you didn't know that though. I know I've been pissing you off a lot. Em told me to cut it out. She says that I've been testing you on purpose. I didn't even realise I was doing it. We should learn to talk more with each other instead of using the girls to translate when we don't know what the other's feeling. I don't know how to have a proper relationship with anyone, I'm gonna keep screwing up until I get it right. But I will keep trying. I'm sorry for all of it, Regina. Can't believe you put up with me."
"You have your moments."
Emma leaned her face into her hand wearily. "Why does everything have to come back to parental abandonment with me? I just want to get over it. I'm fine now, but I keep reacting in the same way. My mind automatically goes there."
"You're not the only one with issues here. Every relationship I've ever had has ended in death. This isn't easy for me either."
"Oh god, you're right," Emma realised. "Hey, I'm not gonna disappear on you if you turn your back ok? I'm here, right where I want to be."
Their hands instinctively snaked across the table towards each other and held.
It was Regina's turn to make a quiet confession. "When I nearly lost Henry this year, everything in the house reminded me that he was gone. I missed him constantly and there were reminders of him everywhere I looked. But it felt right to miss someone I love so dearly. When I lost Daniel I had none of his things and no claim on him or his name despite what we were to each other. No-one knew what I was going through or came to give condolences. I couldn't grieve publicly in any way, I had to perform, and it felt wrong that someone so loved and precious could disappear from the world without anyone noticing but me."
Emma had never heard her speak about Daniel in such detail, Regina hardly ever even mentioned his name without looking pained. She knew it must've taken an enormous amount of trust for her to lay open her deepest wounds like that. It was another one of those moments, when Emma didn't know if she could possibly love her more.
"When I look at my home I want to be reminded of your being in my life. I miss you when you're not here. I want your things around to remind me that you still exist. It's your home now too."
Emma had never understood the expression 'home is where the heart is' but now she hoped that the perpetual homesickness she'd felt all her life would finally go away. Maybe love (the real deep lasting kind) was more than grand gestures, I-love-you's, and mind-blowing sex. Maybe it was the quiet strength of patience that was found in little things, in simply being there for one another and loving even the worst version of each other.
Love was the place where you could be yourself. It was home.
"Emma. In case you don't know - in case I don't tell you enough - I want you here with me. I want you to stay. This is what I should've done when I walked in, this is what I wanted to do."
Regina leaned over the table on one hand and with the other she tipped Emma's chin up for a soft kiss.
"If you're trying to seduce me," said Emma breathily. "It is so working."
"That is my ongoing plan, yes."
When Emma reached for her to pull her down into her lap Regina put her index finger to her lips. "Ahh no. After the little stunt you pulled at my office today, it's my turn. You should know better than to start something you can't finish."
"If I remember correctly I finished you off pretty well."
The kiss heated up until Ri appeared in the doorway, blushing prettily at the scene she'd walked in on when they turned to look at her.
"Oh! Sorry to interrupt you two. Henry's asleep, I sent him to bed at 8.30. I made sure he brushed his teeth first. His homework and backpack are ready for tomorrow. I loaded the dishes into the cleaning drawer but you should check I did it right before you press play. Em's gone to bed already because she was really tired, poor baby. I'm going to bed now too, I just came to say goodnight…Oh and Emma, a little hint?"
"Yeah?"
"She likes it when your hair falls over her bare skin. It tickles and feels so nice. Have a good night." Ri smiled, turned and left as quick as she'd come.
The second she was gone Emma shot Regina a curious look. "I do that. That's my thing I do. That's the thing you like when we're y'know. How does she know that?"
"I didn't tell her."
"Hmm."
"What do you mean 'hmm'. What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking…" Emma grinned. "That the girls sleep in the same bed and spend a lot of time together unsupervised. That they're teenagers who are madly in love. Basically I'm thinking that my younger self is a stud. Just like me."
Regina was not impressed. "Really? You couldn't think of any non bovine-related term to profess your sexual prowess? I don't want to know what you think that makes me."
"Admit it. You've fallen for me twice. I am that good."
"I'm failing to see why right now."
"Come on, Regina, tell me. When we were that age would you have given your virginity to me?"
Regina smiled wistfully for a while. "It would've been nice if it had happened that way."
"Well." Emma took the corner of the manila folder in front of her and flipped it closed. "I think we've just found our theme for tonight's role-play."
But in the end they didn't get to have sex that night (themed or otherwise) because Emma fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Regina didn't mind though, she took it to mean that Emma was finally starting to feel comfortable there after a week's worth of moving anxiety and getting on each other's nerves. She too fell asleep shortly afterwards and when she woke up early that morning, like many times since they'd started sleeping together, she was wearing an Emma-shaped starfish on her back.
Regina rolled her sleepy companion over and pushed up Emma's pyjama top so that she could kiss her bare torso.
When Emma woke she couldn't tell if she was still in her dream state or not but realising that the pleasure was real brought her fully awake with a smile.
"You're putting the good in good morning."
"I'd like to repay my debt, but only if you can be quick and quiet," said Regina.
"Yes," Emma breathed.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, dear."
"Oh god, Regina, that's- Ohhh-" Whatever Emma was going to say was lost in a moan.
Regina reached up for both of Emma's hands and laced their fingers together. Never one to be outdone, she intended to keep going until everything between them was settled fair and square. It wasn't long before Emma's hands were grasping hers tightly and she smiled to herself, not at all disappointed that only one of the promises was made good.
The next day when Regina woke she was in bed alone, but the sound of the shower running in the en suite bathroom told her where Emma was. She got out of bed and hadn't taken three steps before she tripped over one of Emma's running shoes, apparently discarded in the middle of the floor with the rest of her workout wear. Regina stumbled and cursed under her breath. She tossed the clothes in the hamper and then put the shoes in the wardrobe, where she'd recently made space for Emma's clothing (not that her things took up much of the allotted space, she had so few of everything).
In the bathroom, Regina knocked and called to the blurry figure that was just visible through the frosted shower door.
"Emma Swan!"
Emma let out a shriek of surprise. "Ahh! What?"
"I only just cured Henry out of leaving his shoes all over the place. If I have to trip over those ratty old sneakers one more time I'm going to throw them out."
"No! They're still good."
"Fine, I won't. But I'm informing you that they look like Miss Lucas has been using them as a chew toy."
Emma cracked open the shower door to give her a look and Regina could just see one half of the outline of her lithe naked form through the gap between the frosted glass. Her blonde hair was wet and plastered to her back. Emma's body might've been squeaky clean but the look in her eye was dirty after catching Regina's gaze as it traveled down and up.
"Like what you see? I do," said Emma, returning the favour and adding a lascivious raise of the eyebrows for effect.
Regina gave a slight shrug, gaze still fixed on the near-naked form. "We have multiple spare rooms in the house, if you want to convert one to a gym I have no objection."
"Really? You'd give me a room in your house and let me do whatever I want to it? I hope you're serious because I might take you up on that. Ha, is this so you can 'accidentally' come in and check me out when I'm working out? Or do you actually want to exercise too."
"Hardly. We already exercise together," said Regina wryly.
"How much do you weigh? Want to see if I can bench you?"
"As I recall it was I who benched you, dear, and afterwards you could barely walk in a straight line. You had bruises the next day to prove it. You're so delicate sometimes."
Emma flicked some water at her and the droplets bled through Regina's satin nightgown. It was Regina's turn to give her a look.
"Stop that. You're getting me wet."
Emma laughed. "Oh, too easy! I'm not even going to touch that set-up."
"You know what I meant."
"Hey, you wanna join me in the hot steamy shower, Regina? You're already wet so you might as well. It'll save us water and time."
"It certainly won't. We don't have time for that. I'm going downstairs to make breakfast for Henry before school. What would you like?"
"What can I have?" said Emma saucily.
Regina returned in kind. "What do you want?"
"Chocolate souffle."
"You can have eggs, toast, or there's oatmeal. Juice, fruit..."
"Froot loops?"
"I'd rather you didn't. Otherwise Henry will want them too and he's not allowed sugary things, except on weekends."
Emma grimaced. "This is one of those parenting things isn't it. Being responsible and setting a good example? Do I have to give up everything fun?"
"No," Regina pursed her lips into a smile. "You just need to learn to hide your vices better. If you're good I might show you my secret stash that Henry knows nothing about."
"I knew it! I've fallen for a bad girl. That's your big vice, Regina? Contraband chocolate? That's soooo evil I don't know how you can possibly live with yourself."
"Hurry up in there, you're going to be late for work." Regina tossed the comment over her shoulder on her way out.
"Hey, Regina?" Emma called out after her, voice echoing off the bathroom walls. "You might wanna hide your stash better next time! I already found it."
Five minutes later, Emma turned off the shower and toweled herself dry. She had just finished wrapping one towel around her body and a second one around her hair when Regina came in again. She had a cold glare on her face and was holding a fistful of empty confectionery wrappers.
"Why is my imported Belgian noir chocolate gone?" said Regina. "Explain. Or you are dead to me."
"Um, what's yours is mine?" joked Emma.
"Try again."
"You look gorgeous in that silky thing."
"Hm, try harder."
"I love you?"
"Still not enough."
"How about this?" Emma smiled and leaned in to kiss her. The foil wrappers crinkled when Regina dropped them to the floor and she felt a pair of hands cradle the sides of her face.
"You kiss my Mom like that?" They both turned around at the surprised boy's voice.
Emma grabbed the towel where it was cinched around the top of her breasts to secure it. She definitely wasn't used to this particular aspect of motherhood yet, the way kids just walked in on Mommy whenever they felt like it to see what she was doing. Regina didn't seem to care though, but she'd had a ten year head start and was no doubt well-used to it. Henry barely noticed the fact that Emma was half-naked, though she supposed he was nearly at the age when he would start to get embarrassed by things like that.
Despite the fact that she and Regina had been together for a while they'd kept the physical side of it away from Henry while it was still new. He hadn't seen them kiss before.
"Um yeah, kid," said Emma, trying not to be awkward about it. "Your Mom's a pretty lady. I love her and it's fun to kiss her."
"Why are there chocolate wrappers on the floor?" said Henry.
"Nevermind," said Regina, grabbing her robe from the hook on the wall. She looked down towards Henry's socked feet and frowned. "Henry, are those your newest school pants?"
"Yep."
"They're much too short. I'll have to take you to get new ones."
Emma pouted. "You are growing like a weed, kid. I remember when I met you last year you were so little."
Henry protested. "No, I wasn't! I would've been big compared to when you last saw me."
"Aw kid, I didn't see you much when you were a baby."
"How come? Didn't you want to?"
Emma glanced at Regina and then smiled at Henry. "I didn't look because I knew that I'd fall in love with you at first sight. And I did. I bet your Mom did too."
Henry turned to Regina. "Did you, Mom?"
"Yes," said Regina. "You wiggled your way into my heart."
Emma reached out to mess the boy's hair and straight away Regina smoothed it back down. Henry shooed both of their attempts away.
"Let's go downstairs for breakfast so that Emma can finish getting dressed," said Regina.
"Ok. Oh wait!" Henry held out Emma's phone. "Grandma called for you. I said you were in the shower with Mom and that you'd call her back."
"Who the hell is Grandma?" It took Emma a second to realise who he meant. "Oh right, yeah. Mary Margaret. What'd she want?"
"She said 'Don't forget about Friday night'," said Henry.
"Crap! I completely forgot. How do mothers know these things?"
"What's on Friday night," asked Regina.
"You're not going to like it. But I already said yes for both of us so… we're going. End of story."