Chapter 13

A week later Emma was standing in Ruby's drawing room, waiting for her friend to come down, trying not to wish she would be back in the country. They hadn't even been in London for more than one day, but Emma already missed the country dreadfully. Killian had been gone most of the days there, too, but it had somehow felt different as when he left her here in London. Maybe because she'd never wondered what he was doing while they were at his estate. Here she wondered who he might see, the thought of his former mistress making her stomach churn, the fear Neal might attack him in a dark alley at any time making her heart race in her chest.

She'd felt so free with him while still feeling completely safe, but here in London the pressure of the ton was already weighing her down, the fear of Milah and Neal's plans so much more palpable, and the months in the country seemed to be more like a dream than reality.

"Emma!" Ruby rushed into the room, and Emma was enveloped in a tight embrace when her friend pulled her into her arms. "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever."

"I was only away for a few months," Emma replied, forcing herself to smile, noticing that it was easier than she expected. She'd missed Ruby.

Her friend pushed her back to scrutinize her, her mouth tilting up into a broad smile a few seconds later. "But a lot happened in those months, I see."

Emma felt her cheeks reddening with embarrassment as she wondered if it was so obvious that Killian and she had consummated their marriage. "There is nothing to see."

"You look happy, Emma," Ruby said softly, her fingers squeezing Emma's gently. "Really happy."

"I am. Killian ..." Emma's heart jumped as she said his name, and her mouth curled up into a smile on its own as warmth flooded through her only thinking about him. "He is a wonderful husband."

"In every way?" Ruby asked, cocking one eyebrow, the glint in her eyes telling Emma what her friend was thinking about.

Her cheeks probably reddened even more, but she stiffened her shoulders and met her friends gaze, suppressing the sudden urge to let out a giggle. "Yes. In every way."

Ruby pulled her into her arms again, hugging her tightly to her chest. "That's great, Emma. You deserve all the happiness this world can give you."

Emma closed her eyes as she felt tears welling up, and as she tightened her grip around her friend she realized that she really found happiness with her husband, and she wouldn't let anyone take it away from her.

Killian hated to be back again, hated to smell the oppressive scent of London's streets instead of the clear, crisp air of the country, hated that the time he'd spent with Emma there seemed like a dream now, as if the stale air of London had thrown a gray blanket over their happiness. He knew it was complete foolishness to think that way, but being in London with Emma just felt different. She'd closed up on their way here, as if she needed to put up walls to deal with the ugliness that awaited them in London. He didn't want her to draw up walls, he wanted her as free and happy as she seemed to be in the country. But as long as Neal and Milah posed a threat the happiness was not more than an illusion, and he needed to deal with it as soon as possible.

Sighing out loud, Killian rubbed one hand over his face. He was tired, felt completely weary. He wished he could just stay with Emma all day, wanted to pull her into bed and never get up again. Maybe he should have left her back in the country, though. Maybe bringing her to London with him was a mistake. But he came to know his wife quite well over the last months, and he was certain if he'd suggested she should stay she would have ripped his head off. But that still didn't mean she wasn't drawing back into a shell right in front of his eyes. He wasn't even sure if she still wanted to share her bed with him. It all just felt so bloody different here. He didn't know what to expect, and it was driving him insane.

"Welcome back, Jones."

Killian hadn't heard Robin stepping into the room, but he was glad his frantic thoughts were interrupted by his friend, and he turned around to him, forcing a smile on his face. "Locksley."

Robin only cocked an eyebrow at him before walking over to the decanter and pouring out two glasses of wine. Killian didn't even protest against it, after all it was not even noon yet, because he desperately needed the drink.

"You look like shit, mate," Robin told him as he gave him one glass.

Killian lifted it to his mouth immediately to take a sip, savoring the bouquet for a moment before swallowing. Robin was eyeing him with some scrutiny, and Killian's shoulders sagged. It wasn't as if he was able to hide anything from his friend, and it wasn't as if there was really a need to hide his desperation from him.

"I wish I could leave London for good," Killian said, twirling the glass around in his hand. "I wish I could just take Emma and stay in the country forever."

"But you can't," Robin replied after a moment of silence, his friend's voice full of understanding. "At least not yet."

"Right." Killian straightened his shoulders again, telling himself this was not the time to have a pity party. It he wanted to bring the lightness back into Emma's life he needed to fight for it. "Unfortunately we can't hide forever, Robin. We need to deal with Neal and Milah. I need to draw them out sooner or later. I need to end this once and for all, and we still don't have anything substantial against them in our hands."

"What's your plan?"

"Attack is the best form of defense. Let's draw them out."

"The Comerford ball?"

"Yes, it'll do. We need to be seen."

Killian didn't like it, but it was necessary. He couldn't keep looking over his shoulder every time he stepped on the street. The Comerford ball was the best way to show everyone that they were back in London, and the gossip would do the rest. Neal and Milah would hear they were back, and hopefully they'd make a move.

Emma knew why they were here, Killian had explained it to her, but she still didn't feel comfortable with so many people around her, everyone eyeing her either with hardly veiled curiosity or not so subtle contempt. She didn't belong among them, and most of the people present let her know that they didn't appreciate Killian marrying her. They were shunning her with slightly arched eyebrows or by blatantly ignoring her.

Emma didn't mind that much since she didn't feel as if she belonged here either, and being back in London made her question if the months she'd spent with Killian in the country meant as much to him as they meant to her. She'd fallen in love with her husband over the last months, but she didn't know if he was feeling the same way.

It didn't help that Killian had been so occupied over the last days that he'd only come home when she was already fast asleep, and he was always already out of bed when she woke up. She missed feeling him inside of her, more than she ever thought she could. Being intimate with a man had always been forced on her, but with Killian it was so different. Now she wanted to share her body quite willingly, actually she didn't feel completely content if she didn't feel his body pressing against hers under the sheets.

She wanted that back. But to have that back they needed to deal with Neal and Milah, hence their being here.

The chatter around her was making her head throb, and the smile she was forced to keep on her face at all times was making her jaw ache. Killian had excused himself for a moment, and Emma knew she shouldn't feel as if he'd left her helpless in a throng of sharks, but she still felt her heart pick up speed.

But then her eyes fell on Baron Backhurst who was only standing a few feet away, and the tension in her shoulders eased a little when he met her gaze and smiled. She'd met her husband's best friend two days ago and felt herself liking him at once. His presence so near to her meant Killian had told him to keep an eye on her while he was occupied elsewhere, and she was grateful for her husband's foresight, even if the possibility of her coming to harm in the middle of dozens of people was very slim.

Emma relaxed slightly, actually starting to enjoy watching the people around her. The music vibrated in her bones, and she couldn't wait for Killian to join her again so that they could enjoy another dance together.

But every ounce of lightness evaporated as she let her gaze wander of the crowd in the ball room and her eyes met the gaze of a man she was hoping to never see again. A cold shiver ran down her spine, and dark spots appeared in front of her eyes. Her chest suddenly felt too tight, and sweat broke out all over her skin. She expected to faint any moment, her heart galloping in her chest, her pulse racing. But then a hand closed around her arm and a familiar voice reached her ear.

"Emma? Everything all right?"

She took in some deep breaths, forcing herself to turn away and look at her husband standing beside her. Just seeing him helped her push back the panic, and she curled her hand over his, needing the connection.

"He is here," she whispered, the words barely loud enough to carry over the music.

"Who is here?" Killian asked, his expression worried as he let his gaze flicker over her face. Emma swallowed hard, trying to get the word past the lump in her throat, but she just couldn't say his name. But apparently Killian noticed her distress and realized that only one man was able to cause that reaction, and his eyes hardened. "Neal?"

Emma nodded sharply before falling against Killian, burying her face in his chest for one moment and when she looked up again she couldn't see Neal anymore. She didn't let herself look around; she didn't want to see his face again. What was he even doing here? How did he get in?

Her hands felt clammy now, and her legs started to tremble with the aftershocks of her panic. She needed to get out of here before she'd cause a ruckus by dropping to the ground after all.

"I need to go home, Killian," she breathed, leaning instinctively into the warmth of her husband.

His arm wrapped around her waist, his lips brushing over her forehead. "Of course, love."

Killian ripped his neckcloth open, feeling anger surge through him as he walked briskly towards the library. He'd wanted to plant his fist in the other man's face, wanted to hunt him down and beat him until he begged for mercy. But bringing Emma home had been his primal concern, and he'd pulled Robin into a short conversation to make sure his friend would keep an eye on Neal before leading Emma out of the house.

She'd been shaking when he'd helped her into the carriage, her eyes huge with fright, and he hadn't tried to touch her, afraid she would flinch away from him. The ride had gone by in complete silence, and Emma had rushed into the house the instant the carriage came to a stop in front of it.

Killian had dealt with the servants, dismissing them as soon as possible, eager to be at Emma's side. He'd seen her vanish into the library, and just wanted to join her. But when he reached the door he hesitated, not sure how to proceed, how to handle the situation.

Killian hated that he hadn't been able to spend more time with Emma, but the moment he'd put one foot into his London house he'd been pulled in five different directions, a ton of people needing things from him, and most of the times he couldn't even think clearly anymore when he stepped into their bedchamber in the middle of the night, and all he was able to do was shedding his clothes and slipping under the sheets, pulling Emma into his arms and dropping off to sleep immediately.

He missed feeling the connection with Emma; she'd withdrawn from him and he didn't really know how to get close to her again. He wanted to help her, but didn't know how. Though standing outside of the library would definitely not help her. Taking in a deep breath, he opened the door.

She was standing beside the small table that was carrying the decanters, her hand curled around a glass of amber liquid. She never drank any harder liquor than wine, and his heart went out to her. He stepped to her side slowly, aware of every single one of her movements. He expected her to put distance between them, expected her eyes still full of fear, but when she turned to him her eyes were blazing with desire. Her glass clinked on the table and a moment later her small hands pressed against his chest and she pushed him backwards until his knees hit the end of the settee and he fell on it. She was in his lap a blink of an eye later, her lips crushing down on his and kissing him hungrily, her fingers already busy opening his shirt.

He gasped into her mouth when her fingers splayed out on his chest, her nails digging into his skin as her hips rocked against him, making his cock ache with the need to be inside her. She'd never attacked him like that before, and he didn't think it was a good sign. The part of his brain that was still working told him he shouldn't let her have her way with him after Neal's appearance at the ball had shocked her to her bones. He knew he should stop her, that this wasn't the way to soothe her anguish.

"Emma? Love, we should ..."

"I can't wait," Emma murmured against his lips, pushing down to press her core harder against his erection, clearly not willing to let him go.

Killian prayed that Barnes wouldn't choose to come check on them once more. His butler was unpredictable in that way, but he sent him to bed and hoped the man actually went. His wife obviously was eager to ride him right here in the library, and he couldn't find the strength to withstand the temptation.

His breeches were opened by her nimble fingers before he could even try to form a protest. She pulled his cock out and let out a soft sigh against his lips as her hand closed around him. He was a slave to her needs and his hands moved by themselves, his fingers clenching around the fabric of her dress and pulling it up until she was able to press her wet core against him. Her grip tightened around his cock for a moment before she let out a huff of annoyance and pushed up on her knees. When she lowered her body again he slipped inside her, her warm heat enveloping him.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding on to him as she leaned back, her hips pumping back and forth to draw him in and out of her hot sheath, and a wave of lust crashed over him, his hands nearly ripping her dress apart as he pulled it down to reveal her breasts to his hungry mouth. He was licking and sucking at her peaks until she mewled and her movements atop of him became erratic.

He was so close to losing it, tensing every muscle in his body to keep from coming before her. He felt her nails digging into his shoulders, moans spilling over her lips as he sucked at her nipple harder. She apparently needed to find release as much as he did, and he wrapped one arm around her tightly and slipped his hand between their bodies. Her dress was in the way, and he let out a frustrated groan when he couldn't get to where he wanted to be right away. He fought his way through the fabric while Emma was keeping up the frantic pace, and finally he was able to touch her, her groan reverberating through the room as his finger found her bundle of nerves. Her walls started to flutter around him, and it only took a few flicks of his finger to push her over the edge. It was the only thing he needed and he buried his face in her neck letting out a growl as he spurted his release into her, his hips bucking up from the settee to bury himself even deeper in her as the climax rolled over him.

He came back to his senses as he felt her shiver against him, and he pulled back slowly, slipping out of her as he pushed her back gently. He helped her stand up on her feet, his own legs feeling slightly shaky as he stood up himself, and his hands trembled as he righted his clothes before putting hers in order again. Emma was standing stock still, her eyes huge while her chest was still heaving with ragged breaths, and he suppressed a few curse words, scolding himself for letting it go so far.

Scooping her up into his arms, he carried her out of the library and up the stairs, feeling relief sweeping through him as she nestled into him and her body relaxed. She didn't say anything when he put her back on the ground before their bed, but her eyes had lost that vacant look. Now she only looked tired and sated, and she even gave him a soft smile when he took her clothes off and pulled her nightshift over her head.

He discarded his own clothes as fast as possible, just letting them drop on the ground, only leaving his drawers on before joining Emma in bed. She turned around immediately, seeking body contact and he pulled her closer, burying his face in her hair, overwhelmed by emotions.

Her hand curled into his chest hair, and her lips ghosted over his neck as she murmured, "Thank you."

Killian didn't know what she was thanking him for exactly, but it didn't really matter. She was in his arms, save and unharmed. That's what mattered.

"You're safe, love," he whispered, wanting to say so much more. But this was not the time to explain his undying love, especially since he didn't know how she felt about him. So he'd just make sure that she felt safe. He could give her at least that right now. "He'll never hurt you again."