Chapter 14

A tickling sensation along her neck woke her up the next morning, and Emma leaned instinctively into the body behind her.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning indeed."

She didn't know how he managed to accomplish it every time, but no matter how frightened she felt he always pulled her away from the precipice of the abyss she feared she'd fall into and made her forget everything for a few precious moments.

Like right now.

They needed to talk about last night, needed to talk about how they should go on. How they could make certain Neal couldn't harm any of them. But his lips were so distracting.

"Should we take another look at the book?" he murmured against her skin, and a shiver ran down her spine as the possibilities ran through her mind.

Killian's teeth scraped over her shoulder and then his tongue darted out, licking the spot he'd just tortured with his teeth.

"No need." She shifted so that her back was fully pressed against his chest, his already very prominent erection nestled against her ass. Slipping her leg over his, she opened herself up to him, and his hand immediately wandered down her stomach, his fingers dancing over her already damp folds, and her voice was barely more than a whisper as she breathed, "We're trying that one."

She closed her eyes as he started to tease her entrance, his fingers only skimming over where she wanted him most. He taunted her with those featherlight touches he'd perfected, touches that drove her mad with the need to feel him slip inside of her throbbing core.

"Killian, please."

His fingers disappeared from between her legs and she mewled in protest, his deep chuckle only heightening her arousal. Emma was trembling with need by now, and he apparently noticed that she was hanging on to the last tethers of her patience. His hand slipped around her thigh and pulled her leg up even higher, a shift of his hips and then she finally felt his hard length nudging at her entrance.

A moment later he pushed into her completely and she let out a sigh of relief. Her arm snaked back, her fingers threading through the hair at the base of his neck, using her hold as an anchor as he rocked against her.

He pulled out, leaving her with a feeling of emptiness for a few seconds, before he filled her again. Over and over again. In a slow pace that was pushing her even higher. She writhed against him, needed more. Needed to find release.

"I love being in you, Emma," Killian rasped into her ear, his thrusts becoming faster. "Filling you up. Making you moan. Making you beg."

One hand closed around her breast, his fingers tugging gently at her erect nipple while his other hand trailed down her stomach, stopping inches from the spot that was throbbing with the need to be touched.

"Please," Emma whimpered, a sob of relief almost escaping her as he finally touched her there.

"You're a vision, love." The sensations were all encompassing, his fingers around her breast, between her legs, his cock pushing deep into her with each thrust. She was falling apart in his arms, her body starting to tremble as she got closer and closer to the final release, his voice alone almost causing her to fall over the edge. "There's nothing more beautiful than watching you come."

Another flick of his fingers, another deep thrust and Emma tumbled over, her climax gripping him hard, causing his own. Shivers of pleasure were still running over her skin when Killian pressed his face into her neck, his body shaking against hers as he reveled in the afterglow with her, and only one thought floated through Emma's mind as she intertwined her fingers with his.

I love you. God, I love you so much.

Sitting outside, watching Henry play in the grass, Emma remembered the last time she'd been with Killian. It had been three days ago, and her body constantly ached for his touch. But no matter how much she longed for him, the fear was never leaving her completely.

They'd talked about what they should do about Neal and Milah for hours, and Emma didn't really like the plan. Killian was trying to make himself a target, and even so Robin and his friends were shadowing her husband the moment he stepped out of the house, she wasn't convinced they'd be able to keep him completely out of harm's way.

Her nights were spent in fear of what might happen to Killian, her sleep restless when she couldn't keep her eyes opened any longer. She only ever relaxed when he stumbled into the room with the first rays of the sun permeating the curtains. But he was always too exhausted to do more than brush his lips over her mouth before he dropped into a deep sleep.

Emma now only left the house when she absolutely needed to, she just didn't feel safe out on the streets. Ruby was visiting almost every day, making the time pass faster when Emma had nothing else to do than worry about Killian. Every time Barnes stepped into the room to announce visitors, her heart plummeted into her stomach, fearing he might deliver bad news.

She just wished that it'd be already all behind them. That they could live their life free of threads. That they could explore their intimacy further. That she could finally find the courage to tell him she loved him.

Milah watched the woman Killian was married to from her hiding place behind some bushes. She might have wanted Killian dead at first, but she'd realized that she wanted him in her bed more. Neal would see reason eventually, after she'd gotten Killian back and secured that the money would keep flowing. Since Killian was still paying her bills she was confident that he'd come back to her eventually. She just needed to push him a little. And what better way to do that then to spread doubt in his wife's mind.

A rustle in the bushes jerked Emma out of her thoughts, and she swiveled her head towards the sound. As her eyes fell on the strange woman approaching her, her heart froze in her chest. Emma was already up and hurrying towards Henry when the woman's words halted her in her mad rush towards her son. "I'm Milah."

Emma's heart seemed to come to a sudden stop as she turned her head slowly to face the woman. Milah? Killian's former mistress? Why was she here?

A ball of dread settled in the pit of Emma's stomach as she stared at the woman Killian had shared a bed with. She was way older than Emma, but she still was a beauty, and a flash of jealousy jolted through her as she realized that the woman standing in front of her had intimate knowledge of her husband.

"We don't want to frighten the boy, do we?" Milah asked with a saccharine voice that made Emma's skin crawl. "I just need a minute of your time."

Emma nodded and walked back to the bench she'd been sitting on. A part of her was curious about the reason of Milah's visit, and since Emma didn't think Milah would try to harm her only steps away from the house she was waiting, with not a small amount of trepidation, for the other woman to speak.

"You'll never be enough for him." The malice in Milah's voice made Emma jerk back, and she wanted to jump up, wanted to leave the woman behind, but something was keeping her rooted to the spot. She needed to hear what she had to say. "Did you really believe you could hold him? He acted like a man almost starved to death as he came to me last night. He can't get from you what he needs. He can only get that from me. You might be his wife, but I'm the only one who can satisfy his needs." Emma didn't believe it, Killian wouldn't betray her. She was sure of that. But Milah's words still caused a flicker of doubt to take root deep in her heart. "If you care about him at all, you'll let him go. You've got what you wanted. His protection. Don't force him to stop seeing me. He obviously can't, and the guilt about not being able to keep his promises to you will rip him apart eventually. You'll destroy him." The words felt like a slap across her face, and Emma balled her hands into fists to keep them from trembling. "Is that what you want? Do you want a broken man?"

"I ..." Emma didn't even know what to say, Milah's words were burning a painful hole into her heart. But then the anger won out for a moment, and Emma stood up from the bench, looking down at the woman with what she hoped was a snobbish expression. "Leave the grounds immediately, or I'll call for help. And just to make one thing clear … I will let my husband know about your visit. He'll not be pleased."

"Very well. Force him to lie to you then." Milah stood up slowly, her mouth curling with a condescending smile as she continued, "I was hoping you'll see reason. I was hoping he means something to you. But obviously that's not the case. I'll take my leave now."

Emma's whole body was shaking with fury as she watched the other woman step onto the boardwalk and disappear around the corner. She shouldn't have listened to her. What did he expect to hear? A scorned woman wasn't prone to praise her former lover, or have any genuine feelings towards the woman who was sharing his bed now.

Emma didn't want to believe what Milah had said about Killian, but the words had brought back all her insecurities and now she was questioning everything again. Maybe she had it all wrong, maybe Killian was really only coming to her bed until she was pregnant with his child. Maybe she just wanted to see things that weren't there.

Emma needed to think. She needed space. She just couldn't face Killian as long as her mind was a jumbled mess. Reaching a decision, she turned around to Henry, calling him to her. It was time for them to go back to the country for a little while.

Emma was letting out a deep sigh when she finally settled into the cushions of the carriage; it had been a tedious affair to convince Barnes to get the carriage ready for them without giving Killian notice. But in the end she was the duchess, and after she reminded Barnes of that he'd just nodded sharply and left to convey her orders. Henry had been excited when she told him; he loved going back to the stables and the freer life of the country, though he'd asked her if Killian would join them soon since they surely should be with him on his birthday.

Emma had just smiled and assured Henry that Killian would join them soon, but her heart had been heavy in her chest, because it was possible that she'd told her son a lie. Killian might not follow them if what Milah had told her was true; her husband might be happy that Emma was out of the way so that he could spend time with his mistress whenever he wanted to.

She still didn't want to believe it, but she couldn't banish the doubts. No matter how hard she tried.

The ride to Killian's estate was uneventful; Emma even managed to doze off from time to time, but her mind was still frazzled as she stepped out of the carriage. She felt completely shaken up, and when she stepped into the kitchen and saw Mary Margaret standing at the stove she almost couldn't keep it together any longer.

Mary Margaret took one look at her face and crouched down in front of Henry, telling him that David was training a new horse and sending him off to the stables. Emma's shoulders sagged when Henry stormed out of the house with an excited shriek, the door slamming shut behind him. For a few moments there was complete silence in the room until Emma turned her head and met Mary Margaret's gaze. A sob tore through Emma's throat and a moment later she was enveloped by Mary Margaret's arms, the other woman pulling her close.

"Shhh, honey," Mary Margaret murmured close to Emma's ear. "Everything is going to be fine."

But Emma's heart was full of doubt as the tears were just spilling out of her. Mary Margaret kept stroking her hand up and down Emma's back, the woman's soothing voice making the feeling of loss just more intense. The loss of something she never had to begin with.

Nothing would be fine. She was in love with Killian, and he didn't love her back.